Fated Love

Secrets not so much

Chapter Four

“That was not good,” I finally spoke after our weekly meeting. We had not left the meeting room, because I was most likely going to run into one if not both princes.

“No s**t,” Trinity looked at me sideways.

“I didn’t know that was going to happen,” was the only defense for myself.

“You practically offered yourself, the moment you were sucking on Tristian’s finger like it was his d**k,” Serenity countered.

“I haven’t had s*x in a year and a half, I am practically starved,” with a roll of the eyes. “Their blood does something to my brain.”

“You love them,” Trinity spoke with more sympathy. “But if you give in right now.”

“Nothing will change,” the words left my mouth for her, with a giant sigh I leaned against the wall.

“Why did it have to be so damn complicated, it used to be so easy,” with a faraway look I could remember me sleeping in our bed. As they climbed next to me, they had this itching need to touch me as they settled in next to me.

Their fingers running through my hair, barely-there swipes against my face. The smell of their soap trying to coax me awake, to coax me into things that would bring us all to great pleasure. My body knew that it was theirs to have whether I was awake or asleep.

But then they stopped coming home, they were no longer available for me when I went to them. Once they would drop anything for me, and then I was nothing but a passing glance. That was when I realized they were no longer mine, that I was not their future.

I had cried so much when I realized that everything that was promised to me, was a lie. I was sad, angry and embarrassed all at once.

I was brought back with a touch of my face as Serenity wiped a tear from the memory, “We will not allow you to go back if nothing changes.”

I understood, the place that I had left to once I realized everyone who claimed to love me would betray me, was a very dark place. Had it not been for these two girls I would not have made it out alive. At that time, I wondered if it would had mattered to anyone if I even lived.

“Besides, we have other issues at the moment,” Trinity spoke. “Your father has called a family dinner.”

I looked at her confused, that was nothing new every Sunday father and the boys would have dinner and do whatever they do at those kinds of family meetings. It was not something I was ever invited to, not even when I made it to general status, I lacked the necessary equipment was the only explanation that I could think of.

“Darius has informed me that you are to be present,” Trinity continued.

“You may inform him and any others of that family, that I decline,” my voice hollowed at the mere disrespect, they could not even have the decency to invite me face-to-face.

After several other invites and declines I was not surprised to see Darius and the four other generals to storm into my office.

“Trinity and Serenity if you would excuse us,” Daren spoke quiet gently, not something I had ever experienced.

“This is my office, you have no say who can and cannot be in here,” I motion for the girls to stay seated.

“Are you on a mission to push everyone, Terra,” Damien asked.

I stared at the 5 males, nicknamed the 5 D; Darius, Darien, Damien, Dominic and Donovan. They were the exact replica of each other and father. They had finely trimmed hair, Amber eyes, caramel skin that had tattoos perfectly placed on their otherwise unmarked skin. They of course had difference, so it was easily to know which terrible D’s you were speaking to.

“I’m not going, and it is not up for discussion,” I looked at them hard in the eyes. “In my 28 years of life I was never a part of your family, before now I would have killed to be at the family table. But now you can all get bent, that includes your father.”

“Terra,” Dominic shouted. He was bigger than the other guys, he was nicer also but not by much.

“Do not use the big brother tone on me, you five had never considered me anything than a weight. I don’t know what changed but it is a little too late.” I shouted. “You may leave my office.”

“You are coming,” Gideon spoke making his way around his boys. I lifted my eyebrow at the order.

“Let’s get something straight, I did not become a general to make you proud or for any of you to recognized me, you maybe my superior but you cannot force me to do something that is not related to the job. Last I checked family gathering is not related to the job.”

“It is not an option,” Gideon spoke.

“For most being abandoned by their father is not an option either,” at that moment Gideon showed an emotion that was not of superiority.

“you were well taking care of, you had everything you needed,” Darius tried to counter.

“Other than love than yes I had a perfect childhood,” with smirk I answered as I moved to lean on the front of my desk, “I of course was never taught my worth, so I thought my worth was nothing but to lay on my back as the princes whisper sweet nothing in other girls’ ears.”

“You would think a girl with 5 brothers and a high ranking father would hold herself to higher standards,” I laughed.

“Don’t blame your mistakes on us,” Gideon scoffed.

“Oh, trust me, I do not, I am sure there is something in me that is just unlovable…”

“Enough,” Serenity shouted standing up from her spot, cutting off my words. “You should leave now.”

“You have done enough damage,” Trinity spoke as I turned my head away from them, fighting the tears and anger.

“Who are you to talk to us like that,” Donovan finally spoke.

“The reason I am even alive,” I chuckled, unable to stop most of the tears that those memories brought. That caught their attention. “Yep, at my weakest point in life, I stood on that 20th floored balcony and took that step, I was almost free. Had it not been for Trinity or Serenity we would not be here having this most lovely conversation.”

“Terra,” Gideon spoke walking towards me. “that can’t be true.”

“Oh, but father it is very true, I was so sure that it was me, I was the reason people just left. That there was something wrong and damaged in me that my own family could not love me. So, I went to some random unfinished building, and almost completed that dive. And in that very moment I promise you that I had no second thoughts, no fear, it just felt right. That I finally did something right, right?”

“Terra,” Tristian and Asher pulled around the 6 men looking with nothing but regret.

“All 8 of you are to be thanked for that moment in my life, in showing me that I was not worth your time. I damn near threw my whole life away. So, you don’t get to come in here demanding that I come to a family dinner that I have never been invited to before. And you two do not get to tell me when I need to submit to your desires, especially when nothing you have done shows that nothing will change. Now with that said, please leave, I have a job to do.”

Everything had calmed down after my little explosion. Though Trinity believe this was truly the calm before the storm. Which she could be right, but for now all I wanted to do was enjoy the normalcy. I was able to walk around and not run into the princes. My brother seemed to be avoiding me and my father had not spoken another word to me. It was as it has been before that damn grand ball, I was just General Terra.

Then I walked into my office and hard ass, Darius, was in my office looking at my bookshelf. I sighed as I walked into my office alone, regretting that I sent Trinity and Serenity away.

“You look like mom you know,” Darius spoke. “She was such a gentle being, sickly too. And here you come out and you are just a little firecracker, but all I saw was the fragile little girl, my last gift from mom.”

He touched the only picture on my wall, it was of course of our mom. Her pale skin contrasted from ours, her hair was perfect. I could not see what he saw, I did not think I looked even a bit like her. “We are so much older than you Terra, we didn’t know how to take care of a little girl, and it was so hard going home, mom just kept getting sicker. Do you know why we have these weekly family dinners?”

He finally looked at me, and I finally saw what I saw when Yun or Jae were over. The pressure of it all forced me to take a seat, I was not expecting Darius to lay out his heart today or any day. He of all my brothers was the most bullheaded out of the five when it came to me. He had reminded me so much of father, always was distant and far away.

“It’s you, the dinner is always about you. How well you are growing, the fire in your eyes, how healthy you are, and how you have mother’s kind eyes and her smile. How we could not believe the princes didn’t see how special you are, how we would kill them if they ever broke you.”

I gasped as I looked at him, his eyes hard now. “But after the break up you looked so strong, there was no cracking in your act. Now we know that’s not true.”

“I’m sorry,” the two words left before he could continue his words. “Everyone just kept coming, I’m still trying to survive, to get over the scars. I truly wanted you guys to hurt like I hurt. It wasn’t right of me to just say that.”

“But it was all true wasn’t it,” Darius asked.

“Yes,” with a hesitation my response reached my brother’s ears. He nodded as he took the seat in front of me.

“We will try better, even get tips from Jae and Yun,” a smile reached my lips at that. “Can you please give us a chance Terra.”

“Of course, brother,” without a hesitation. “All you ever have to do is ask. I don’t take well to orders in my personal life.”

“I will make sure we are all aware,” a huffed laugh came out as he ran his hands over his head. “Are you really planning on going back the princes.”

“It won’t be as easy as you guys, but yes. I have tried to see myself with someone else, but it never was the same. Even now, well before my little break down, when I was with them, next to them I felt like I could finally breathe. Like I had been suffocating without even knowing it until they were next to me.”

“I think it was the same for them at the party,” Darius spoke. “We were watching you, knowing this was your first encounter since the split. But when you passed the boys, it was like you had broken a spell, they looked at you as if they had found their lost item.”

“I figured as much,” Trinity laughed, Darius and I looked at the two girls in question.

“The fact that they never came home was the biggest hint. Just the scent of the one they truly loved would break any spell. And think about what type of shifter is Sylvia and Cerena.” Serenity asked as she sat next to Darius. I never cared enough to check their status as shifter, so I shrugged.

“That’s because no one knows, we can’t find any information on where they were born,” Serenity continued. “Our systems have no records of Sylvia or Cerena, isn’t that weird.”

“We have records of every live births of shifter,” I spoke.

“Yet there is nowhere we can find those lovely twins,” Trinity emphasis. “And what a perfect time to show, everyone’s eyes would be on the broken hearted chief’s daughter. And not the mysterious shifters that took her place.”

“You are saying,” Darius finally spoke. “That this is some part of a plan.”

“Which Terra broke that night at the party, a love spell can only be used once. So, what do you think will be next?”

“Plan B,” I spoke in a question tone. I stood up, “I will find the princes. You have to get more information on those girls, Trinity and Serenity by any means necessary. Darius, I think father, our brothers, the kings and the other generals need to be informed, privately.”