Save Me

Fourteen

“Mr. Bennet’s dog is prim and pampered already?” Gerry asked. I nodded. Gerry had started out his dog business only last week and Roland and I helped him but Roland wasn’t exactly a huge fan of dogs so I was the only assistant for Gerry left.

“Yup,” I replied, “Carly is looking good and will make guy dogs fall on their feet for her.”

He laughed, “Alright then. We’re about to close. Greg says he’ll pick Carly up after lunch. You go wash yourself and be ready for lunch. Rachel cooked. And go and call DJ.”

I nodded and headed to the spare bedroom downstairs near the kitchen where Roland and I often leave our bags and go if we wanted to shower. In just the course of a month, the Rivers residence was like a home to me, even more of a home than any of the houses I once lived in, in Australia or in Boston. I just decided to wash my hands and change into a clean black shirt, I still had to work this afternoon, so getting a shower would be pretty useless.

I headed up to Danielle’s room. I knocked twice and when I didn’t hear a reply, I slowly pushed open the door. I saw DJ sprawled on the floor, his eyes focused on the video game he was playing. Patrick had taught him and Landon to play Halo last year and both kids ended up so engrossed to the game that Danielle and Denise had to take away the console sometimes.

“Deej,” I said but he didn’t look up from his game. I chuckled and sat cross-legged beside him.

“Aw. I died,” he mumbled but then turned off the console and turned to look at me, “Hi Falen.”

“Hey buddy,” I said with a smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. I’ve grown close to DJ over the weeks. Why wouldn’t I? He was usually the one left in the house. Sometimes I wondered what it would have been like for him, having to grow up with just your grandfather’s workers to take care of you. It was just a good thing that both Roland and I were close to the family. But Danielle did pick him up at nine, bring him to the café. Sometimes he’d have lunch there but sometimes she’d drive him back here at lunch.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out. I answered it without bothering to check who was calling, “Hello.”

“Hey Falen.”

“Patrick?” I asked, “What’s up?”

“Neither Denise or I can pick Landon from school later,” he said with a sigh, “And with the rest of the family’s schedules, I couldn’t see if it would fit to ask them either.”

“So you want me to pick him up?” I asked slowly.

He chuckled, “If you could. I mean, I know that’s around the time where the students would start arriving, but since I thought that there are now the three of you teaching them, it wouldn’t be much of a hassle. I would ask Roland but he’s pretty much the main instructor among the three of you. And Zachary and I aren’t that close. So what do you say?”

“Sure,” I replied, “What time?”

“Thank you!” he said, “Around 3:15?”

“Alright,” I replied, “I’ll pick him up.”

“Thank you, Falen,” Patrick said with relief, “Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Uncle Patrick?” DJ asked, putting down his controller.

I nodded, “He wants me to pick up Landon from school later. Do you want to come with me?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, and his expression looked hauntingly familiar, and then he grinned, “Yea!”

“Alright. But that would be later. Let’s have lunch?”

He scrunched up his face, “Where’d you buy?”

I laughed. On normal times, during lunch, it would only be DJ and I. Gerry and Rachel would be out to handle their business or meet up with friends or relatives. Roland usually arrives after lunch. So I usually order us food or if I’m in the mood, cook us lunch.

“Actually,” I said, standing up and pulling him along with me, “Your Grandma did.”

“Awesome!”

We rushed downstairs to be greeted by the aroma of lasagna and friend chicken and baked potato, “Finally,” DJ exclaimed once we arrived, “a real lunch.”

I shot him a look, “Hey, we get real lunch everyday!”

He shrugged, sitting down beside his grandmother as I sat beside Gerry and across from him, “We do. But it’s not like this.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, I wonder if he really was just four years old. We ate our lunch, exchanging conversations about dogs, lunch, what DJ and I usually do till Roland comes back which is just technically just playing Halo, what DJ wants for Christmas and surprising me, what I wanted to, and they also asked me how my heart was doing which was a huge surprise on my part.

“I’m doing good,” I replied, “Moving on. Letting her go.”

“And I assume that my daughter is helping you with it?” Rachel asked, a smile on her lips.

I stared at her. Danielle? Helping me move on? It was funny, really. And ironic. First of all, I really didn’t have a broken heart, well, it wasn’t broken because of loving a girl too much. But Rachel was right, Danielle was helping me move on. She was helping be a better person, not cruel and cocky like I had always been. Because of her, I didn’t want to hurt other people, I didn’t want to be cruel to them, especially to girls. Because of her, I just wanted to be me, to the kind of person who didn’t have to prove himself to his father or to the media. In all my years of existence, I just felt like me. No worries, no responsibilities.

After lunch, I helped Rachel clean up the dishes and dry them. After that, I headed to Danielle’s room to hang out with DJ. We usually did this to pass time. We sometimes go out for ice cream or buy some sweets, talk, watch TV, play Halo or just lazily lie in bed. When I got in their room, DJ was sprawled on the mattress, looking at the ceiling.

“Hey buddy.”

“Hi,” he replied, his eyes never leaving the ceiling.

I sat at the edge of the bed and watched him. His dark hair was matted on his forehead and his blue eyes stared intensely at the plain design of the ceiling. I looked up and wondered how the painted plywood would be so interesting for him not to take his eyes from. And suddenly, at the pit of my stomach, I knew something was wrong. It felt like a fatherly instinct, to see a little boy looking all serious and worried. Maybe I was getting old since I’m having those kinds of things to feel.

“What’s wrong?”

I heard him sigh and sat up. He closed his eyes for a moment and then plastered on a goofy smile, “Nothing.”

“You sure?”

“Yea,” he replied and then lied back down, “I feel tired.”

“You want to sleep?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “But can you tell me a story? To get me to sleep? What about a story from your childhood? Like what you and your father bonded at.”

His eyes seemed eager and I just couldn’t turn him down, even if I didn’t really have a good story about my father and I. Finally, I nodded and lied beside him, “My father knows how to boat. We owned one actually. Every summer, he’d take me and my siblings out to go around the middle of the lake for us to swim. I was about nine years old then. He once taught my older brother how to drive the boat.

“Seth? Hunny what’s wrong? You don’t want to swim?” Mom asked me. She was clad in a one piece swimsuit and was holding a wet, two year old Louise who was grinning happily as she splashed the water around her and Collin.

I looked back at the boat to see my father still teaching my older brother how to drive the boat. I glared at the glistening water that surrounded me, “Why does it always have to be Addie?”

I didn’t mean for my mother to hear it. But she did. She patted my head and gave me a smile. After that, she turned to where my father and brother was, “John!”

My father stepped out of the boat and looked at my Mom, “Yes, Clary?”

“Why don’t you teach Seth how to use this thing too?” she asked as Adrian appeared beside my father.

“Yea, Dad. And I really want to swim now,” Addie said, diving to the lake head first. My father extended a hand to me and pulled me out of the water, bringing me to where the heart of the boat was.

He instructed me on the things that I needed to know and learn about. After a while, I finally got it and steered the boat a bit far away from the rest of my family and turned it back to them again. I looked at my father, grinning from ear to ear.

He didn’t say anything but he ruffled my hair affectionately and for the first, and only, time in my life, I could see it in his eyes that he was proud of me.

Well, that was a year after John Andrews dedicated his whole existence to our company and everything in our life went downhill after that. I looked at DJ who didn’t seem to sleep. He was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.

“You can tell me what’s bothering you, DJ.”

He turned to me and sighed, “I never ask Mom about him. But I really wonder who he is. Why he left. Uncle Esh told me that he was a coward and when I told Mom that, she just gave me a smile and said no. It makes me wonder who was lying.”

I ruffled his hair affectionately and he scooted closer to me and I wrapped my right arm around him as he rested his head on my chest, “Maybe your Mom doesn’t want you to hate him.”

He sighed wistfully, “I still want to get to know him.”

I turned to look at him, “What’s bringing this up, Daniel?”

He shrugged and then stood up abruptly. He went to their, well, his, closet and took something out. He crawled out of bed and handed me what he had. It was a picture. In it was a man who had light brown hair, almost like Adrian’s, and his eyes were hazel-green. Beside him stood Danielle, smiling radiantly at the camera while he gazed at her. Will.

“I found that earlier in Mom’s closet while I was looking for my DS knowing she’d hid it there because she thought I wouldn’t look in her…lady stuffs. I found that there.”

“And this made you wonder about him?”

He nodded, “And what it would be like if he was here. I’ve seen Landon play catch with Uncle Patrick on Sundays and even if they usually didn’t leave me out, or if Uncle Esh would play the same game with me, it’s not the same. Sometimes when I pass by Landon’s room, I’d see Uncle Patrick tucking him into bed or tell him a bedtime story so he’d sleep or he’d help him with his homework if he’s having trouble. I just wanted to picture out that guy, or someone, doing the same thing for me. Being my father. So I’d know what it’s like.”

I knew what he felt like. I knew what it was like to grow up without a father. Sure I did have one but he was always busy, and if he did spend time with us, it was always Addie. But then again, I had a father, a man-figure in my life as I grew up whereas Daniel, only had his uncles.

“Sometimes I just want someone to call as Daddy,” he whispered and I felt my chest wet. He was crying.

I rubbed his back, not really knowing what to say. But for a second, the words flew out of my mouth before I could even refrain myself from saying them, “You can call me Daddy.”

Daniel sat up and stared at me, “Really?”

I nodded, “Really.”

He smiled and to my surprise, he hugged me tightly. A smile made it’s way on my lips and I chuckled. Later on, DJ pulled back and lied back down. He looked at me, with now happy blue-gray eyes, “You’ll wake me up later when we pick up Landon?”

I nodded, “Promise.”

“Okay,” he said, “Goodnight Daddy.”

I chuckled and just stared at him for a moment. I never really thought of having kids. The idea scared me actually. But I knew one thing. I wouldn’t be the type of father my Dad was to me. I wouldn’t press them to do something they didn’t want, or mold them into someone who’d fit his jurisdiction. I’d love them as they are, protect them, care for them and support for them like a true father would. And maybe I could start that with Daniel, even if he wasn’t my own flesh and blood.

I adjusted his blanket and kissed his forehead, and for a moment there, I felt like a father tucking his son to sleep.