Save Me

Fifteen

“You want me to go to church with you?” I said, looking for something to fix the fuel pump.

“I know you have work,” she replied, “But there’s still a mass later. I would’ve gone this morning with the rest of the family, but I had someone to meet outside of town.”

I sighed and nodded, then mentally scolded myself because I know she couldn’t see me, “Okay, D.”

“Thank you so much Falen!”

I hang up and finished the car I was working on. I had one more car to go and it was noon by now, which means closing time is near and I had to get home early to take a shower and change into cleaner clothes and meet Danielle and go to church with her.

“Dude,” Scott said from under the car, “You are seriously whipped. And you guys aren’t even dating!”

I glared at him, which was useless since he wouldn’t see me, “I’m working on that.”

“Sure,” he said smugly, “But you gotta work fast, bro. Someone might finally get the courage to ask her out and pursue her.”

“Well they haven’t had the guts for years,” I mumbled, finishing up the car, “And you’re one to talk. You haven’t fixed your problem with love.”

He rolled out of the car, frowning, “I have no problem with love.”

“Sure you don’t,” I replied with a smirk, “Because you don’t exactly look like a little boy who got his candy stolen every time Nicholas and Monica are around.”

He grunted, “She chose him. Not my problem.”

Though he meant the words, his eyes betrayed him. I could see the hurt in his green eyes but he quickly masked them away. Scott had told me what was going on between the three of them. Turned out, Scott and Monica were happily in a relationship for three months, after almost a year of courtship. But since Scott was the resident heart breaker during their high school years, someone had told Monica that he was cheating on her with an ex. The day after that, Monica saw Scott talking to the same ex in the story that someone had told her. Though it was just catching up for Scott, it wasn’t the same for Monica. She ended things and they both got their hearts broken. A week later, Scott found out that that someone who had told the story to Monica was Nicholas. But Monica never knew that and though Scott was equipped with the information, he wasn’t one to ruin the love of his life’s current happiness.

“Why not fight for her?” I said, remembering Danielle asking me the same question when I first had dinner with all her family.

Scott cracked a smile, also remembering the same memory, “I would. But I don’t think it’s my battle to fight anymore.”

“When your heart is in the game,” I said, “It’s always your battle.”

He stared at me, and then threw me his hand towel, “I never thought you were the hopeless romantic.”

I didn’t answer, choosing to ignore him. I finished working on the second car and finally, I was able to go home. Scott had teased me that I was just excited to see Danielle. I didn’t scold him or anything, since it was right. And actually, I as looking forward to step into church. I haven’t gone in one ever since Adrian died. When I arrived home, I quickly took a shower and changed into a clean pair of khaki pants and a blue button down shirt. My hair was long, shaggy and unkempt since I never bothered to brush through it or comb it anymore. But I don’t what got into me, I just grabbed my comb and brushed my hair up slightly, giving a better view of my pretty face.

Meekah barked happily from the bathroom door and I chuckled, it was his snack time. I put on my black Vans first, before heading to the kitchen and grabbing his dog food and pouring some on his bowl. He barked again and wagged his tail at me, before diving into his food. I refilled his water bottle near the door, then spritz some cologne, grabbed my house key, scratched Meekah behind the ear while he was still digging in his food, and then heading out to the street to meet Danielle at their house.

While heading to their house, I passed by the flower shop and grinned when I saw the red rose. I bought a dozen, thinking of Danielle. I didn’t know her favorite flower but she was a girl, didn’t they like flowers? Although I doubt Danielle being the flowers and chocolates kind of girl, the kind of girl who was all over the sweetness and mushiness but what the heck, it was worth a try.Finally arriving at their home, I smoothed out my shirt from any crest and casually headed inside their gate and then inside their house. No one was really home, only Edwin who was sitting on the loveseat with a girl I haven’t really met.

“Falen,” he said, standing up and giving me a smile, “You accompanying my sister to church? Or is that just a cover up for your date?”

I rolled my eyes when I saw him eyeing the flowers, “We’re going to church. I was just being thoughtful when I bought her the flowers.”

He chuckled and then motioned towards the girl, “That’s Shanna Lightwood, my girlfriend.”

The girl smiled shyly at me and stood up, shaking my hand. She was pretty, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes and a Spanish appearance. She was probably Danielle’s height, but I think D would be slightly taller than her, “Falen Rose.”

“Rose,” Shanna mused, her lips curling into a smile, “Danielle told me a lot about you.”

A smile made it’s way on my lips, “Really?”

“I told her how a jerk and an asshole you can be,” Danielle said, appearing beside me. Daniel was with her though he wasn’t dressed for any occasion so I presume he’ll be staying here.

“Hi Daddy,” DJ greeted, a grin on her face as I ruffled his hair.

“That is still so weird,” Danielle and Edwin said simultaneously, and then turned to each other mischievously, “Jinx! You owe me a soda! Damn.”

Shanna and I stared at them, knowing that neither owed the other a soda because they still spoke simultaneously. I just stared at them weirdly while Shanna laughed beside me. Seems to me she’s used to how this two have the tendencies to really act like twins. I’ve never been around the two of them much before so it was a bit new to me.

I just ignored it and turned to Danielle, handing her the flowers, “Here you go.”

She raised a brow and giggled, “Aren’t you thoughtful. But the white ones are my favorite. Thanks for the effort though.”

“You sure you two aren’t going to go on a date?” Edwin asked as Danielle searched for a vase to put the flowers, “You’re wearing matching outfits.”

I looked at Danielle and saw she was wearing a pale blue dress and dark blue wedges. I chuckled, even with the heels adding to her height, I’d still tower over her. Danielle spoke to her twin once she arrived at my side, “No Esh. We’re going to church.”

“Getting married already?” he asked grinning and I tried to hide my smile too as Danielle stared at me amused and Shanna and Edwin laughed.

“We should go,” I mumbled as I tugged Danielle outside. She kissed DJ’s forehead and I ruffled his hair and high-fived him and was surprised when he kissed my cheek for farewell. We bid goodbye to Shanna and Edwin and then both of us headed off to church. Upon arriving, we sat at the fifth row just in time for the mass to start. Halfway through the mass, while the priest was well into his Sunday speech; Danielle took my hand and squeezed it. I was barely listening to the priest since I couldn’t concentrate; I kept on staring at Danielle.

I was surprised at first and when I glanced at her, her eyes were intent on the priest, listening well into the Sunday speech. I could see her nod slightly at each words spoken and she seemed so enchanted with the words that I turned back to priest and tuned him in, I was already in the middle of his speech and to my surprise, it was about love.

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude of selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.”

I wasn’t one to read the bible but I recognized the passage from the Corinthians. Danielle was silent beside me, waiting for the priest to continue, “Young love, may be the most thrilling of all. They always say that at sixteen, it’s always true love. But most young love, end in the saddest parting. Because the young people only get what they desire first and as they grow old, they don’t know how to continue what they had started. But as you grow older, as your heart gets broken each time, you will see and know and understand the true meaning of love,” he turned and looked at all the people gathered in this hallowed hall, and I was surprised when his eyes rested upon me.

“If you haven’t been in love yet, and are unsure if you are even capable of loving. Be reminded that everyone is capable of love and affection and adoration. If you don’t understand or if you want to believe that you are not in love, then you are only lying to yourself. And if you do love for the first time, don’t just be reminded of mind over heart, be reminded of God over heart. Because He should always be above all that you feel. Because if you don’t put him first, then you have the tendency to lose yourself.

“Also be reminded of this: Loving someone is not just a desire. You can’t change the person to be who you desire them to be. You can only accept; who they are, who they were, and who they will be. Just like how God and the Lord Jesus love, unconditional, unwavering, true, pure and genuine.”

I looked at Danielle and saw that she had a small smile on her face and for the first time, I understood what I always felt for her. I liked her that was undeniable. But my attraction to her ran deep. The first time I met her at the hospital, I knew she was beautiful. And as we spent time, I couldn’t help but think that she reminded me of someone that I had buried in the back of my mind because I desperately wanted to forget. But even now as I try to remember who that girl was and why I had purposely forgot about her, my mind went blank. Geez, when did I become so good at forgetting people who actually did something significant in my life?

When the mass was over, I treated Danielle out for dinner. I was in the mood for cheeseburger and fries and was afraid that she wasn’t into that unhealthy meal and would get me to eat more seafood, but was surprised that she happily agreed with me and so we bought take out at a diner and sat lazily around the beach. I took off my shoes and socks and sat cross-legged on the sand and Danielle did the same, taking off her heels since they weren’t beach material.

“What did you thought of the Sunday speech?” I asked, finishing my burger.

She shrugged and bit into hers, she was halfway into finishing it, “Great. As always.”

“Just that? You seemed so intent on listening to it earlier.”

She just shrugged, “It just reminded me of him.”

To him, I supposed she was pertaining to Will and for some strange reason, I felt my heart contract. Must be because I pitied her but that didn’t explain the sudden anger I felt inside me as my blood boiled at the mention of him. The only thing to call was jealousy and I forbid you say it.

We decided to change the subject until she finished her meal. Suddenly, as the sky turned dark and black, only illuminated by the moon and stars’ glow, she looked up and a smile grazed her features, she spoke without looking at me, “I’ve always loved to look at the stars. For some reason, they give me hope. See those three aligned stars there? They’re always the first one I search for.”

I bit my bottom lip and gazed at her. She looked young and radiant under the incandescent glow. Her hair draped over her left shoulder as she gazed at the beauty above her. I took off my button down, leaving me shirtless and Danielle turned to look at me with a glare, “Put your shirt on.”

I rolled my eyes and set it down on the sand and lied down, “It’s better to look at the stars this way, D.”

She seemed to look distant for a moment, and I watched as a muscle in her jaw clench. She closed her eyes for a moment, before opening them and lying beside me, “It’s beautiful.”

I tilted my head to look at her, “You’re beautiful.”

Her body vibrated beside me and I knew she was laughing, “I’ve heard that a million times.”

I didn’t bother to make a smart comeback. I just stared at her while she stared at the sky and a panicked feeling filled me when she closed her eyes. Maybe she wanted to sleep but she spoke with her eyes closed, “You know, I used to do this with him in our dates.”

The mention of him sent my blood boiling again and I silently cursed myself, “So this is a date then?”

She laughed again and shook her head lightly, “No. It’s almost one though.”

I grinned but then I looked at her seriously. She wasn’t looking at me, and I knew she was unaware of my fixed gaze at her or else she’d scold me with an insult, “If I asked you on a date, would you say yes?”

She looked at me, her blue eyes looking amused for a moment and I watched them intently as she searched for humor in my gray ones. When she found none, she bit her lip and looked hesitant. I clenched my jaw and tried to hide the disappointment in my voice, “Is that a no?”

It surprised me when she offered me a small smile, “It’s a maybe.”