Undeniable

“I don't feel like talking anymore.” “Are you sure?” “Positive.” My teacher lets out a defeated sigh, probably thinking that I couldn’t hear it. I did. “Why don't you want to talk anymore?” “This isn't exactly a lighthearted thing to throw about at the drop of a hat.” Silence. “If you don't want to talk to me, then there's nothing that I can do. I'll see you next week.” I stand to my feet and storm out of the office, slamming the door behind me as I keep my eyes trained on the floor. I hated this, I hated every single second of this torture that they made me endure. It honestly made me wonder if these people were crazy and if they had actually lost their ever-loving minds. I storm out of the office and stand shivering on the stoop, my eyes looking frantically from left to right. Who does she think she is? Talking down to me like that, I know damn well what happened to me almost a year ago. What was repeating it going to do for me? At the mere thought of talking about it again, I ball my fists in unspeakable anger. But I stop those harsh thoughts from coming, taking in a deep breath of the chilly air with my eyes squeezed tightly. Then gently opening them up again to watch my breath pour out of my mouth like smoke, easy. My black boots loudly stomp as I make my way down the front steps, finally planting themselves down on the sidewalk in front of me. The harsh breeze that suddenly came out of nowhere knocking me into a hunched over position, the cold rocking my bones and freezing my insides. I draw the hood of my coat up over my head and shove my hands into my pockets, praying for the howling wind to pause for just a few moments to allow me to walk to my car. I grab my keys from within my pocket and unlock the car as I race towards to where it's parked on the side of the road, almost crying with relief as I jump inside. I immediately put my keys in the ignition and turn the car on, and the blasting heat from my vents fills the vehicle. I sigh loudly in relief as I rest my head on the very top of the steering wheel, basking in the warmth all around me. I'm stirred from my few moments of relaxation by a faint chime coming from my pocket, causing me to jump at the sudden noise. I pull my phone from my pocket and see my screen aglow with the notification of my mom texting me. “Oh brother" I sigh deeply as I prepare myself to fully read the text that she sent my way, probably to chastise me for something I didn't do. When you're finished with your classes, I'm gonna need you to go to the store and pick up some things for dinner. Here's the list.... “Why can't you go get it yourself?” I grumble under my breath, not even wanting to think about having to go back out into the cold unforgiving wind. I text back my compliance, ignoring her instant question of why I was out of school so early. I would deal with that when I got back home. I checked the street before steering onto the road and beginning my trek to the grocery store, agonizing every single second. The holidays seem like such a wonderful occasion when looking in on the snowglobe, watching the fake snow fall onto the fake house where the fake happy family lives. But in actuality, it's anything but joyful. The scene itself requires for its entire world to be shaken, and sometimes even flipped upside down. Now that was truly realistic. A family filled with a facade of smiles, surrounded by an inescapable blizzard. Just like the one that I was driving through now, that was actually getting worse by the minute. A blizzard like this marked something else for me, the season of cold and early darkness that took me back. That brought me back to that cabin in the woods, surrounded by cold and darkness with no hope of escaping. Sometimes that darkness would come inside to play, to draw out every ounce of sunshine that somehow wormed up into my soul. It was a blizzard like this that dragged me from my security, that dug its claws into my flesh and ripped me to shreds. Mom said that this was all ridiculous, that it had been a while after my hell under the cabin. That it was time for me to 'put my big girl shoes on' and move on, to put it all behind me. But those shoes insisted on staying in my closet, in an unopened box caked with dust. Who knew if I was ever going to see that box again, growing faded and weary as time goes on. The grocery store. Right. I pull into the deserted parking lot to find a barren wasteland, no cars as far as the eye can see. I pull up directly in front of the doors to the store, the lights are off and no one is inside. I groan in annoyance at the wasted time it took to get myself all the way out here, especially when I could be home all toasty under my sheets. I pull my phone from where it rests on the seat beside me, and decide to call my mom to bear the bad news. She picks up after three rings. "I gave you the list, you should already know what to get" She automatically states, all care thrown out the window when speaking to me. "Mom the grocery store is closed, we're in the middle of a blizzard. Everyone is home" I answer as I rub an early forming headache out of my brow. She lets out a heavy sigh as I visualize her running a hand through her full head of graying curls, silently cursing the storm in her mind. "Just come home, I need to talk to you." Before I'm able to respond she hangs up, and I stare at the blank screen in confusion. I don't bother trying to call her back before setting the phone in my pocket, making a U-turn and calmly making my way home. Home. It's a place where you're supposed to be safe, a place that you can confide in. Filled with people that love you, and care for you. It seems that I have the exact opposite of that, and I don't have the effort to really care anymore. As I drive down the snow caked roads, the weather begins to take a turn for the worst. I pull up into the driveway and almost fail incredibly at keeping myself alive, my heart hammering in my chest as I carefully hop up the steps. Being incredibly wary of any steps caked in ice that wanted to send me to my icy doom. I fish my keys out of my pocket and shove them into the lock, twisting until I'm finally able to throw myself inside and slam the door shut behind me. It's silent as I stomp my feet on the mat, yanking off my gloves as I tremble at the sudden rush of warm air. "Why don't you ever insist on letting Matthew take you?" I can hear my mother's voice drifting in from the living room where she's parked in front of the television, soda can in hand. "Because I can drive perfectly fine on my own." I retort back as I walk over to the closet in the family room, and set my coat up on a hanger. "What about July?" She peers at me over the lip of the can, and I can almost hear the smirk in her voice thinking that she had a bit of leverage on me. Alluding to my breakdown on the road last July, it looked just like the woods surrounding the cabin. "What about October?" I retort back, pulling out my own ace of spades to cut her down to size. That DUI she got was nothing to sneeze at and seemed gargantuan in comparison to my little meltdown on the road. "Sit down." She more or less growls, having nothing else to spit my way to try and make me shrink. I roll my eyes as I bury my face in the closet, suppressing the anger that began to boil up inside of me. Some supportive mother she was, a true diamond in the rough. I close the closet door with a harsh click and make my way over to the couch, making sure to sit on the complete opposite side of the couch. "What?" I sigh with a cross of my arms, not wanting to meet her eyes for fear of falling for those sinister eyes. "We're sending you away to your aunt Mary's."