To Love Again

CHAPTER ONE Miller's POV Sometimes in life, we make terrible mistakes, mistakes that could never be corrected no matter how much we try, mistakes that tend to haunt us for the rest of our lives, mistakes that push us to the edge, that we sometimes think of ending it all I am Miller Brown, and this is how life turned out for me ~~~~ I must admit, I was really nervous to meet with Xavier again. It's been ages since we last saw each other, and I hope he gives me a listening ear, I hope he had forgiven me, and would not throw me out like he had done the other time I came looking for help The pack's gate still looked the same as before, no changes, no nothing, just that same old ash coloured gigantic gate I took a very deep sigh before honking, as it had been a very long time since I last visited my home pack. I didn't know what to expect from the people, my old friends and all, I even thought of backing out, but what should be done must be done "Hello ma'am! Who are you and how may we help you?" One of the guards at the entrance asked, he must be a new one, because how could he not recognize the famous Miller Brown? Just messing around, I wasn't really that famous and Oh my! How did I forget this, no one was allowed to go into the pack without an invitation "Um! I am Miller, Miller Brown" I responded and he raised a brow "The daughter of Cedric, the..." "Oh! I'm so sorry ma'am, drive in" the guard cut me off. Why am I not surprised? My father was the most powerful warrior The Greenwoods pack ever had, he was a household name in the pack, and I had some of his features, that once I mentioned that he was my father, no one would doubt it, made sense why the guard didn't do more findings and stuff, but he could get punished, Their Alpha kinda despised me Getting to the Alpha's chamber, I had to go through an intense security check, before they let me in. Since I was a kid, I always found the overly intense security check ridiculous, because, come on, this is an Alpha we're talking about? Who could possibly harm him so easily? Anyway, I was never in the position to kick against it, so I let them do their thing "Greetings to you Alpha Xavier" Oh heavens! My voice and whole body was shaky and sweaty, nervousness boldly written on my forehead, and the way he stared at me wasn't helping matters. It was so embarrassing , but I immediately comported myself and Without waiting for his response, I sat on the Chair opposite his, he was shocked You can't blame me though, I was in a hurry, I'm pretty sure Kai had his men on my trail, which meant, time wasn't on my side "Do I know you? And where do you come from? Courtesy demands that...." He was joking right? How could he not possibly recognize me, even if every other person cannot recognize me, he should. I know it has been ages but I couldn't have changed that much. It hurt a little that he didn't recognize me at first glance. I still had the same icy blue eye that he loved to stare into, crazy strands that never listened to my brush, lips that met his a million times, and the same voice he always said he loved listening to Well, there was no time to ponder on that, I had to cut in "Look, I need your help...." "Excuse me! How dare you come into my home, sit even when I didn't permit you to, and without any introduction, you need my help? Do you have a sense of manners and reasoning?“ He asked harshly Right, my bad, I should have at least introduced myself "I'm so sorry about my manners, it's just that I'm under a lot of pressure right now...ahem! My name is Miller Brown the daughter of..." Yeah, now he remembered. His eyes were open widely in shock "Miller? Wait! What?“ He exclaimed, and I gave a faint smile "Now that you know who I am, can you listen to why I'm here?" I said impatiently “How did you get in here? Who the hell let you in here without my consent?“ I did not see that outburst coming “Xavier please, just give me a listening ear, please” I responded, with my palms hugging each other, and the most vulnerable look in my eyes, as much as I hated being portrayed as “weak” my situation right now has pushed me, and I had no other choice "Don't you dare utter my name out of that disgusting mouth of yours— Okay, now my mouth is disgusting — You disappeared out of the blue, for no damn reason, made me look stupid, weak and vulnerable in the eyes of my people, you made me a subject of mockery to my so called friends and after some long f*****g years, you come back, saying you need my help, and you expect me to jump on my feet, and begin to help? The nerve of you to even come to my presence” Sigh! I guess he was right, what was I even expecting, coming down here Why didn't I think it through before making the decision Gosh! I'm really good at making bad choices in life "I'm...I'm really sorry Xavier, you know me..." "No I don't, I do not know who you are Miller Brown I couldn't resist the urge to roll my eyes He seriously was still mad, even after fifteen goddamn years? I know, I know, what I did was wrong, but we all make some rash decisions that most times put us in bad circumstances. whenever I look back, I regret the day I ran away, leaving him all alone, after promising to stay together till the end, but past is past, and the did cannot be undone, I had moved on, and expected the same from him, he was an Alpha was f***s sake "Kai... I mean Xavier — when I made that mistake, he nodded with gritted teeth — please listen, your son's life is in grave danger okay? That's why I'm here, it's not about me, if it was, I wouldn't have stepped foot in here and you know that, this is a really serious situation” I started, I didn't have the luxury of time to go back and forth about our history "You are the only person I know who's strength could match up with that of Kai Oakley" I continued, like I didn't just drop a bombshell on him "I have always known you to be crazy and you became crazier in this past years, I can clearly see it" he said, nodding his head in what I presumed to be anger and disbelief "You... you're a crazy b***h, get the hell out of this place" He thundered, and I yelped impulsively Maybe I should have sent a text explaining everything, before I showed up in person "Get. The. f**k. Out" he said word by word, pointing towards the door "Alright, you don't need to raise your voice, I'll go, but remember...the only child you have, is held captive in the hands of Kai Oakley, you know him, so I don't think there is any need to tell you how ruthless he is" I said and made my way to the door I thought he was going to stop me, but I was wrong He watched me leave, and it made my heart sank I guess I'm alone in this then I mean, what was I even expecting? Crushing someone's heart with a snap of my finger Running away, despite knowing how crazy he was for me, bearing his child and never ever thought of informing him about it All of a sudden, the baby gets kidnapped, and the first person that crossed my mind was him I never knew I was damn greedy until this day To make matter worse, I walked majestically into his territory and demanded his help Feeling too big to introduce myself, not thinking about his feelings.... Am I a f*****g b***h for that action? I was only trying to get help for my son, I didn't do all those things because I wanted to I had reasons, I just wish he had given me the chance to explain or perhaps, I wish I had talked reasonably with him I was lost in my thoughts, thinking if I was a bad person or not, that I lost focus in driving The last thing I remembered was the loud scream of a woman, before I ran into a big truck