I'm in Love with my Little Sister

Chapter Four

I didn’t realise I was dreaming until it was to late. My eyes open naturally but screaming could be heard, with a slight ringing in my ears. My nose caught a quiff of what smelt like burning flesh. For some strange reason, none of this affects me, even though waking up like this isn’t normal, even after what I've seen. I raise my body to sit up slightly, watching all the commotion.

I watch as my commanding officer screams at me. Well, I believe he is screaming. His mouth is moving very violently, forming rushed words yet I cannot hear a word he utters. While I couldn’t hear the words, I knew in my own way what has happened. Our camp isn’t safe for us anymore. The enemies have found us. As if everything started working again, sound graced me ears and my limbs became mobile. I rush outside my tent, towards the tent to the squad I was Commanding to gather all my men quickly and leave. I shout at the remaining four members of my team; telling them to leave everything behind and go!

One by one they each go passed me and out of the tent towards the group leaving the camp. I peer out of the tents flaps as each of my team leaves and I spot serval dead bodies. I didn’t recognise all of them but there were a few familiar faces. I press my lips together and I can feel the lack of blood travelling through them. When I notice only three of my team have left the tent, I turn my head to the direction of the only solider who is still in the tent. Joe McFadden; my best friend from secondary school.

“McFadden, leave now!” I shout at him, but my screams are lost, and my words never greet his ears. I watch him as he picks up a teddy bear; one his little sister gave to him when he was joining the army. It had been a scruffy small bear with faded green patches and a dark green Irish shamrock on its chest. Joe took that bear everywhere; says it reminds him of the home he can’t wait to get back too. “McFadden!” I yell once again at Joe but he doesn’t seem to listen. I look outside the tent again and there are more dead bodies than before but this time, the enemy has compromised our camp and they are currently looking to shoot any survivors; us.

My eyes lock with one of the enemy members and for a second I thought he'd let me and Joe escape. He didn’t. Shouting to his allies, they opened fire on the tent, and I dived towards Joe; trying to keep him safe from the gun fire. I heard a single cry escape from his mouth and when the firing stopped briefly, I checked him.

Blood. Bullet Hole. Dead

My sobs got stuck in my throat and I wanted to scream. A tear rolled from my face as I wailed. I didn’t care if the enemies found me, they murdered my best friend. I look down to Joe’s body only to see Logan’s instead. The tears stop and my body goes into shock. I struggle to breath properly; my eyes unable to blink. My hands start to violently shake and I grip her shoulders to stop them. I wail out and I bury my head into her neck and I just lay there limb. If she dead, then I don’t want to continue living. I hear the enemies open up the tent and shouting across from me. Kill me I think.

Just kill me.

I jolted awake, sweet pouring off my face. I quickly look around the room for any sings of danger and when I didn’t see any, I relaxed a little. My heart still beating wildly as I lay back down and I wrap my arms around the other person in my bed. Her scent reminds me that I'm safe and nothing will hurt me. She stirs and opens one of her crystal blue eyes sleepily.

“Nightmare?” She asks with a rugged voice. I nod and I feel her hands snake around my body, pulling her closer to me. “I’m here Damon. I'm here for you.” She kisses my hands, then my cheek and lastly my lips. I kiss her back and stay holding her for a while. I frown into darkness while Logan nestles against my stomach.

“Logan?” I ask. She makes a sound in response. “Why are you in my room?” I ask. Suddenly both she and I are wide awake. We sit up and she gives me a lop-sided look.

“Why wouldn’t I be here?” She asks, confused with my comment. She wraps her arms around me and tries to give me a hug, but I get out of my bed and just stare at her. “Damon, come on, stop messing around and just come back to bed.” Logan rubs her eyes and frowns at me.

“This isn’t real.” I say remembering that Logan is sleeping in her foster house. “This isn’t real.” I repeated and at this comment, Logan frowns and scoffs before lying back down. I slap myself across the face, but the only reacting came from Logan. Was she really in my bed? She beckons me to come back to bed and I smile. I climb back in and spoon her as I drift back into my happy place.

As soon as I feel asleep, I woke up; alone. I knew it was a dream. A dream which was to good. I check my phone for any new messages and there was one from Logan which I ignored the night before. A couple of weeks ago, when Logan had sent me the lengthy text about how she is there for me, I started texting her about my time abroad. I’ve been home for a few weeks now and last week my mother had encouraged me to go to an assembly at my old secondary school about the different career options. I'm meant to give a small speech on why I joined the army and how its changed my life.

I drag myself out of bed and as usual, I am the first one awake in the house. I head into the shower and give myself a cold quick shower as the sweet is still pouring off me from my…nightmares? I guess I could call them nightmares because they are my worse fears however, Logan in my bed is a…hope. A goal for the future. I don’t know, its too early in the morning to think straight.

Once out of the shower, I choose to wear my leather jacket and a dark grey plain tee-shirt with dark blue jeans. Since coming back, I had time to go into town with my mother or my brothers and they helped me choose a new wardrobe to bring me back to reality. I wonder down to the kitchen and start making everyone a cooked breakfast. I suppose it was the least I could do if I screamed during the night.

Jasper was the first downstairs and I have never seen him look worse. During the last few weeks, I have discovered Jasper having the worst bed hair and his appearance makes him look like he had been involved in a hit-and-run accident where he had been the victim. Still, each morning, he mutters a good-morning to me and every morning and say good-morning back and every morning, I try to hold in my laugher as he eats his bacon and eggs I cook. Every morning. Its like our little routine ritual which he doesn’t know about.

However, this morning; as I mentioned before, he looks worse, way worse. I couldn’t contain my laugher and I had starting full-blown laughing before he sat down. He growls at me and grabs a fork and knife. “Not everyone is as perfect as you when we wake up Damon. Respect me at my vulnerable.” He mutters before stuffing bacon into his mouth. I continue to chuckle as he eats his meal and wonders back upstairs.

By the time, everyone else had come down for breakfast, I was really ready to go to the school and to get the assembly over and done with. I have very important plans for today and I'm not letting anything come between me and Netflix! When Jadyn comes down, ready to be dropped off for school, we sit and chat in the hallway. Since our talk a few weeks ago, I started to talk to her more, asking her how it was in the beginning and if she ever wonders what her life would be like if her parents (the people who raised her) were still alive. We bonded a lot and now I do truly look at her like a sister; something I could never try with Logan. Finally, everyone is ready, and we leave the house shortly after. I sit in the front of the 7-seater car, with the twins and Peyton sitting in the second row and Jasper and Jadyn sitting the back row. I had been confused when Jasper said he was still at the school but then he explained to me how he had failed the first year of a-levels and he had to repeat the first year again. So now, he and Jadyn and Logan are all in the same year group. Confused? Me too.

When we arrive at the school, I notice that the school was smaller than it was in my memories but since as I was only here for one year and I was tiny, that is probably the reason why. Jasper led me to a different entrance than the students were using, and I had to sign in. I was given a yellow visiting pass to wear around my neck; something to do with safety reasons. When I had finished siging in, I noticed that Jasper had left. I walked the double glass door from the reception, and I was inside the school.

I noticed Logan almost straight away. I suddenly freeze, wondering if last night a dream had really been or if Logan was really in my room last night. She spots me and waves at me with a large grin. Maybe it didn’t happen. I smile back but I didn’t wave at her.

A few minutes later, the students were called into the hall to the right and I was called shortly after them. I walked into the assembly hall and greeted the headteacher, Mr Langagon. I greeted the other speakers and noticed only one other chair is empty. I take my place on the stage and we all listen to Mr Langagon as the assembly is introduced.

We got through most of the speakers fairly quickly. None of them wore uniforms like me so when one announced they were a pilot, I was surprised. Another is a nurse at the local hospital and another job was a plumber. The spare seat stayed empty most of the assembly. I was the second to last person to speak when it was my turn.

I stood up and took the microphone from the plumber and thanked him. “Good Morning.” I say. “My name is Damon Franco; I am the big brother to some students here and I am– er was an Sergeant. This means I was a leader of a group of soldiers, but I still had someone tell me what to do.” I chuckle awkwardly into the mic but there was silence. I could visibly see a dusk ball roll across the floor because it was that tense.

“A little about my life; I joined the army when I was 18 years old and I met some of my best friends there.” I say. “The army has changed me and I'm not going to hold back, most of the change is for the worst. I suffer from PTSD. When I first reunited with my family, my mother slapped my on my knee-“ I say gesturing to the place “and I stopped breathing. Every muscle in my body told me I was under threat even though I could very clearly see it was my own mother and I knew she wasn’t a threat to me. However, I did stop breathing. I didn’t make it obvious and she never found out but I didn’t feel safe, not for a long time. To be honest, I still don’t in certain places. I do have nightmares most nights but I am unsure if I wake up the rest of my family screaming.” I look towards Easton and Peyton who were near each other. They both nodded as if to answer my question. “Scratch that, my sibling just confirmed I do wake them up. Sorry guys.” I chuckle into the mic and I get a scatter of chuckles from the audience.

“However, its not all scary. Most of it is, but not all of it.” I say. I'm suddenly interrupted when the double doors swing open followed by a female voice.

“You sure got that right.” The voice says and I freeze. Suddenly feeling sick for what the voce might say next. I gulp and continued speaking while Mya wonders to the empty seat on the stage. I noticed her father, my first Sargent, walk in behind her and head to the back of the room.

“I met lots of my friends there too. My best friend had been in school with me but err, I made a few more.” I point at Mya. “Mya here, was on my squad and we became very close, didn’t we.” I smile a forced smile. She nods her head and stood up next to me.

“So close, we got married.” She says in a voice which wasn’t too confident. However you'd only notice it if you were really close. I watched her eyes look directly at her father in the back and I gulped. I couldn’t say anything or it would blow up our deal. Mya shows the wedding ring on her finger and there were gasps throughout the students. I locked eyes with each and every one of my siblings. Some eyes were filled with confusion and another was filled with betrayal. Only pair of eyes refused to look at me.

Logan.

I lost her trust. I didn’t tell her about Mya. I didn’t tell any of them about Mya and now I’m paying for it.