Falling for Him

Silence

As I gaze out through the car window, I am left to wonder aimlessly about the last few days of my life. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind; everything around me seems to be crumbling before my eyes and I cannot do anything about it but sit and watch. Raindrops begin to fall on the window and the gloomy weather fits how I feel perfectly.

We pull into a garage of a tall building and straight away I know I can’t afford this place.

“We’re here” he says in a friendly voice as he parks the car.

“I don’t think I can afford this place” I say to him, not willing to exit the vehicle and just leave.

“Just give it a chance” he says as he nudges my arm gently.

“Fine” I scoff and take off my seat belt and get out of the car. I stand in front of the car and wait for him.

“Let’s go” he says as he comes to stand beside me.

We walk over to the elevator and get in. The ride up is one filled with silence. I take a deep breath and muster enough courage to ask him what have I done wrong but just as I open my mouth to speak, the elevator dings and the doors open to reveal a lavish hall with crisp marble tiles and modern art lining the walls. Russell motions for me to step out of the elevator and I do as he follows behind me. He takes my hand and leads me down the hall, the light gray painted walls adds to the luxurious feel of the space and I can’t help but admire the paintings on the walls as we walk to the end of the hall. We turn toward the last door; he opens it and motions for me to step inside. I feel like I’m standing in one of the most opulent spaces I’ve ever seen, the high ceilings and gold trim about the room solidifies that I definitely cannot live here.

“I cannot afford it..” I state blatantly and turn to face him as he closes the door behind him.

“Can we just leave” I demand as I fold my arms across my chest. Russell just offers a soft smile in return and steps closer to me. He takes my arms and unfolds them and places a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“You’re cute when you do that” he holds unto my arm and pulls me along deeper inside the apartment. I scoff at his remarks but he pays it no mind. We make it to the kitchen and it is like a dream kitchen, with a amazing island with beautiful quartz countertops and elegantly designed cabinets.

“You are breaking my heart.. I really don’t need to see anymore to know it’s not for me” the words leave my mouth but I am still fluttering about the kitchen in admiration. Russell sits on one of the stools and smiles.

“What can you afford?” He says playfully and I get the feeling that something is up.

“Not this..” as I gesture to the immediate surroundings. He laughs making me raise an eyebrow at him.

“So..” he takes a long pause and looks down at his hands resting on the countertop before darting his eyes back to me.

“.. I know the landlord.. maybe we can work something out..” his tone makes me think that’s not the truth.

“Is that the truth?” I ask cautiously, not knowing what to expect.

“Hmph.. come here” he holds his hand out for me to take. I take slow cautious steps toward him and take his hand. He twirls me around so I am resting against his lap and he inhales deeply.

“Don’t be alarmed..” he huffs out and I wait in silence for him to continue.

“.. I own this building..” his says softly but I heard him clearly. I turn around to face him with my expression riddled with confusion. He brings his hand to brush against my cheek and I have so many questions. He can obviously see my confusion and before I can ask him anything, he answers.

“I’ll explain everything.. one day” he whispers the last part. He stands from the stool and begins to walk away but turns to face me once again.

“You are free to stay here.. if you wish” his voice sounds defeated.

“Russell..” I say as I begin to take a step toward him but the look on his face makes me stop in my stride.

“I’m sorry..” I hold my head down to the floor to avoid his gaze.

“What for?” His voice cracking slightly.

“I seem to have done something to change your mood..”

Russell steps toward me and places both his hands on either side of my face, forcing me to meet his piercing gaze.

“You have nothing to be sorry for” he whispers between us and places a gentle kiss on my lips. I am taken back a bit.

“I’ll have your things brought over.. that is.. if you’re staying here” he slightly raises an eyebrow. Do I really have any other choice? I don’t.

“Sure.. that’s fine” I sigh in defeat. Russell’s lips pull up into a smirk before he places another kiss on my lips; enticing me to wrap my arms around him and dive into our kiss without restraint but he stops and rests his forehead against mine.

“As much as I would like to stay and please you.. I have work to do” his sultry voice sends shivers down my spine. How does he have this effect on me?

“I’ll come by later..” his thumb brushes across my lips and he places another kiss on my forehead before he pulls himself away from me and a feeling of abandonment hits me.

“Maybe.. I can go work tomorrow” I utter confidently as I try to convince myself I am ready to face my troubles.

“If you are sure then..” he begins but I quickly interrupt before he tries to talk me out of it.

“Yes.. I’m sure” I try to force a confident smile with my words but I’m sure he can see right through it.

“Okay.. I’ll sort it out” he smiles at me and winks before turning to leave.

“See you later” he says as he opens the door and leaves. I let out a deep sigh as I glance around the empty apartment; I find myself wondering to the floor to ceiling windows and taking in the breathtaking views, even though the weather is gloomy, it somehow resonates with me.

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After exploring the apartment in all its glory, I lay down on the cozy, welcoming bed and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

Again, I am in dark waters, that span beyond where I can see. My body shivers with cold and I am alone. Voices fill my head, calling out my name and I try to scream but nothing comes out. Something pulls on my leg, pulling me under, I try to fight but my efforts are futile, I am drowning.

I wake to knocking at the door, I look around the room and realize I’m still alone. I make my way to door and open it to see those piercing blue eyes that are somehow full of worry. He looks me up and down before stepping into the room closer to me.

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice washes over me like a warm blanket and I somehow feel comforted that right now someone cares about me.

“I’m fine.. promise” I reply with an encouraging smile as I step aside for him to enter the apartment. As he passes me I realize he’s pulling along a suitcase and a bag, presumably with food, which would be great cause I’m starving. I close the door and join him in the kitchen where he is placing some crates on the counter indeed with food and I immediately grab a seat and wait patiently for him to finish.

“Hungry I see” he says playfully.

“You have no idea” I roll my eyes at my own words. He comes to take the seat beside me and we proceed to have lunch. I waste no time in gobbling it down, to which I am slightly embarrassed afterwards, but he doesn’t seem to mind and just laughs at me every now and then. When we’re finished, I glance at the suitcase on the floor, I suddenly remember my old apartment that I shared with Ben.

“Maybe.. I can get my things from my apartment” I say as I dwindle my fingers not sure if I indeed want to go back there. Russell darts his eyes to me and it’s as if he has so much to say but restrains himself.

“If that is what you want..” he says in barely a whisper.

“.. but I’m coming with you” he says that part in a commanding tone and I knew this was nonnegotiable.

“Okay..” I mutter, sensing myself surrender to him. He grabs my hand and again I see his eyes full of emotions but he just smiles.

“Let’s go” he pulls me from my seat and we leave the apartment and head to the garage. The elevator doors open and I make my way to his car but I stop when I notice my car parked next to his. I turn to face him with my mouth gaped open but before I can say anything he dangles the keys in front of me.

“How?” I ask as I take them from his grasp.

“I said I would bring your things over.. so here they are” he smiles widely.

We hop in the car and I drive to my old apartment. I attempt to start a conversation to break the silence by asking him how his day went but he just gives a short, blunt reply that leaves no room for continuation, almost like he preferred me not to know anything about his day. Before my mind could conjure up the endless possibilities as to why, we arrive at the apartment. The thought of seeing Ben pops into my mind and I feel my blood run cold but I quickly remind myself that he would be at work at this time, which brings me some relief. I quickly get out of the car and head towards the doors but I realize Russell is right behind me. I turn to face him and place my hand on his chest gently to stop him in his stride.

“Maybe you should wait here” I say gently, trying not to upset him. He stares at me for a brief moment before huffing out a deep breath.

“Okay.. I’ll wait by the car” his eyes hardened at his words like he was fighting against himself.

I turn and continue to the doors and head to the apartment. I reach the door and hesitate before opening it, as memories flood into my mind. I shake my head vigorously, as if I could shake them out completely and open the door. As I enter, I glance about the room making sure it is indeed empty. I make my way to the closet where I see the suitcase I had taken to Allison’s place laying on the floor. It still had my things packed inside to which I am grateful for. I pull another suitcase from under the bed and stuff my things into it, it’s impossible to fit every single thing inside so I grab the more important things so I could be done with this place of good. I zip the suitcase and pull them along with one in each hand. I head toward the door but I see him standing there, leaning against the door frame. How long has he been there? I’m frozen to my spot, I can hear my heart thump in my ears. There he was, the last person I wanted to see. Ben.