I'll Always Be His

Chapter 9

Tessa

I've spent the last couple days locked in my room. Chanel brings me my school work. Mom and dad check on me frequently. Sylas came by only to say that Nick has been suspended from the team and from school pending the investigation. Cole and Hardin have called and texted but I couldn't answer. I know they had questions and I wasn't ready for that yet.

What I was ready for was to kick my plan into motion. I had been planning for days. My mind stuck in that mode. I would fight if it was a fight he wanted. I would not run scared with my tail between my legs. I grabbed my laptop and browsed the web for a self defense class. I signed up for one twice a week and signed up for a boxing class the other three nights a week. Step One: I was going to learn how to fight.

Hardin

Tessa has been avoiding me for days. I guess I would want avoid me to. This whole thing was my fault after all. They have sworn witnesses with statements saying she did this to herself. The doctors say there is now way she did this to herself and his hands were all busted up. Evidence corroborated her story so he was charged but released on bond awaiting trial. Sylas said Tessa begged us to leave it alone. I can't make any promises. What he did to her makes my blood boil. I want to kill him. I've imagined all the unspeakable things I want to do to him. His time will come. He will pay for what he's done.

I stop at Tessa's house. She isn't going to avoid me any longer. I open the door with the spare key. I head to Tessa's room and knock on the door. She opens it and just stares at me blankly.

"Can I come in?"

"No," she says flatly.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk to you Hardin. Go away!" She tries to shut the door on me but I put arm in the way. She lets go of the door in defeat.

"What do you want Hardin?" she says sounding exasperated.

"I want to talk to you?"

"I just said I didn't want to talk didn't I?" She spit venomously towards me.

"Fine, then listen and I'll talk," I said closing the door behind me, "I told you're brother how I felt."

She sat down on the edge of the bed not saying a word. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry he did this to you. I'm sorry I'm the reason he did this to you." I drop to my knees in front of her taking her hands in mine. My eyes pleading with her to listen to me. "I told your brother how I felt. This isn't just a crush or fling for me. I love you Tessa. I meant what I said that morning.You are the only one for me. I should have been with you. I should have protected you and I failed miserably. That will not happen again. I will not live one more second of my life without you in it."

She stares at me for a minute. She doen't say anything. My heart feels like it could beat right out of my chest. I take her hand and place it over my wildly beating heart."That is what you do to me. You are the only one that has ever made that happen." I reach up and grab her face, cupping it in my hand. "I love you, Tessa."

"I love you too," She responds quietly but makes no effort to move. She looks up at me and stares directly into my eyes. "But I'm not ready for this Hardin. I was somebody's punching bag. He violated me. His fingers invaded me tearing through me. I have nightmares. I'm a literal mess. I can't stand to be touched or looked at. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. I'm damaged and broken. I need to fix myself right now."

She began to cry, tears streaming down her cheeks. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was pale. I took a seat on the opposite side of the bed and pulled her in to me. "Get some rest," I told her pulling her closer into my body where she rested her forehead against my chest. I laid like that for hours, just holding her. I could hear her breathing slow and steady. She was asleep. Probably for the first time in days. Nothing else mattered though. I would lay here for days if thats what it took. My eyes eventually drifted closed too and I slept peacefully with her wrapped in my arms.

Tessa

I woke up wrapped in Hardin's arms. It was the first time I didn't have nightmares since that day. I felt rested and the sun light was streaming through the window. Hardin Lake had just spent the night in my room. I looked up at him. I didn't want to wake him. I love this man so much. I need him. He completes me. I just can't do this right now. Not with him. I'm just not ready. This is all I've wanted for so long but I feel lost and I know he can't fix that. I won't ever be the same. I don't want to drag him into this. I needed to do this on my own. I love him enough to keep him far away from this.

I stare at him for awhile longer, never wanting this to end, knowing I'm acting creepy as hell watching him sleep. His eyes begin to flutter open and then I'm staring into vast tides of blue Irises. "Good morning," I whisper. "Good morning," he whispers back pulling me in closer to him. I liked the warmth of his embrace and his earthy smell. I just want to stay buried in his arms forever. I can't though. Reluctantly, I pull away from him. "I need a shower and probably some food." I say rolling out of his arms. He looked caught of guard but relaxed into my bed. With a wink he said, "I'll be right here when you're done," and he closed his eyes again. Great. Hardin Lake was really not gonna leave me alone.