The Dirt beneath

     Gary Pence shivered. It was uncontrollable, the sensation went down the 23 year old's spine leaving behind a sharp almost painful feeling. He even felt his teeth rattle. Gary shivered but he wasn't cold, not in the least bit, in fact he was hot. Maybe it was the nervousness he felt underneath the metal armor or maybe it was the damp air of the carrier's loading dock crowded with the soldiers dressed in metal. Yes Gary was hot, he was hot, even sweating and yet he shivered. A word went through Gary's mind, it was a question a simple question...WHY?      Maybe it was her, maybe it was the sight of his mother with the tears streaming down her cheek as she sobbed...no WAILED at the top of her lungs as her husband held her back from their son as he stepped out the door for possibly the last time ever. It's so funny how something as easy as stepping out through a door turned out to be so difficult.    That was the night before he left for training. Gary thought settled on the night before, he thought of how he had spent most of it's hours fighting to stay awake chatting away the hours with his mother. He then thought of his Father, AH his father, the 43 year old man whom he had spent the entire evening doing what they did best. Screaming at the top of their lungs as they watched classic football games as they usually did. Gary wondered about what it would have been like to go to an actual football game or to at least watch a new one. There hadn't been a game in over 40 years. Football's weren't even produced anymore. All production was aimed at providing food and weapons. Food was probably only essential to make sure that there were still more people to be conscripted in case the army needed more boots filled up.      Gary turned to his side and imagined what it would feel like, if his father were standing right beside him dressed for battle. He was a lucky man, his father was deemed unfit as he didn't meet the army's physical requirements. Even Gary himself wasn't exactly the best man for the job, but that was how bad things were. They needed all the help they could get. There simply weren't that many options left for the country. Gary wondered if things were going to become so bleak that even people as unfit as his father would join them soon.      As he was thinking of this, Gary felt it again. The cold shiver ran down his spine and then he felt it, but this time he understood it, he knew what it was, and oh did it feel familiar it was fear, the fear of death. Gary thought of what he was about to see, of the many bodies that would probably litter the battle-ground. He imagined what they would look like, lifeless husks that used to belong to once brave men and women, he wondered if he would soon join them, if he would soon just like them send a message to all new-comers. If his very presence would say to the future soldiers, "WELCOME TO HELL YOU SORRY AS..."      "FIVE MINUTES TILL TOUCH-DOWN, PREPARE YOURSELVES", the Captain screamed out, waking Pence form his near trance-like state. He had seen him once, he had never said a word to him though, he had never said a word to anyone. You see, even before the war Gary had never exactly been good at making..."Friends". He'd stumble and stutter responses to anyone who ever tried talking to him, they of course would immediately get the hint and withdraw from "the weirdo". He was used to it, his whole life he'd been known as the weirdo, the outcast, the one you probably didn't know existed in your classroom. Funny thing is, he was fine with that. The only friends he'd ever had were his parents. That had been his life. It's sad to think that his life could soon be over, and what would he be exactly? Gone? Forgotten? No one except his parents to remember him by? No wife? No kids? He had never even gone on a date.      Pence looked down on his armor , the name "G. Pence" spray painted on his left chest. It had obviously been painted over another name, he couldn't make out the exact details but it seemed that his armor had belonged to a "Forrest", would someone else's name eventually be painted over his someday? Was this his destiny?       The carrier suddenly shook, Pence looked up in fear, he was breathing faster, they had just been hit. Probably by some stray shot or two. It wouldn't do much harm to the carrier, but that didn't stop the fear from spreading rapidly like a cancer across Pence's mind. It was time, in a few seconds the bay door would fall and become the ramp. The very ramp that would serve as a bridge that would lead these men and women to possible damnation. Pence steadied his weapon. He'd been trained, just like everyone else, but he was still unsure of himself. Would he actually be able to take the life of another human being? Nevertheless. It was time        It was then that he felt the carrier land, it was then that he saw the bay door start to drop, he could hear the captain trying to rally up the troops but he paid no attention to him. It was time. There was no going back. He was about to step away from the safety of his thoughts and memories and onto the stage where artists of death did their best work. It was time      Gary held up his gun. The soldiers ran out onto the ramp they all screamed out what was meant to be a valiant war cry but if anything, it was nothing more than their last attempt at summoning bravery. They ran onto the ramp. Gary looked up he could see the darkened sky, it was probably...no...definitely a result of God knows how many explosions. It was time.      Gary suddenly heard a noise, it was the noise of something falling. Before he could even realize what was happening, he was flung through the air. He landed hard on the floor with a THUD. Was it a grenade, an RPG, it didn't really matter now did it? Gary crawled across the floor and grabbed his gun, he saw another, he grabbed it as well. He needed all the help he could get, he noticed that a lot of the soldiers weren't getting up off the floor, including the one right next to him.      He examined the man laying beside him, it was the captain, the man that was supposed to lead them unto victory. He shook the man, trying to wake him up. The was no response... He was dead... The Captain was dead.    This was the harsh truth about this place, it didn't care about who you were or where you were from it cared about nothing. This was the truth, the truth about this place...The truth about..."NO MAN'S LAND".