Here Today Gone Tomorrow: A Collection Of Thoughts And Emotions

Altered Mentality

I Am We

Psychopath or sociopath

An empty soul a holograph

A clown without a laugh

Why am I forced to walk this path

I'm far from the normal

Some say I'm down right horrible

All because my ways are not formal

I lack emotion for me its info that’s sortable

My insides dark but I try to seem floral

I'm always asked what’s wrong

But truthfully nothing I’ve always been gone

Think of me as music with no song

Or a yard with no lawn

ID say I'm sorry that you’ve been deceived

By this perception of me

That you’ve received

But ID be lying you see

Because I'm never me

For I am we

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Look Into Your Reflection

Look into your reflection

What do you see

Can you see past your complexion

Could you do this for me

So we can make a connection

Afterward I’ll tell you about the me I see

Go ahead I'm listening

“cool, me too, oh no that's horrible”

Keep going you can tell me anything

“that was deep it sounds terrible”

Laughter echoes in my head

Now that I’m aware of all your fears

I'll make you wish you were dead

Don’t cry or I’ll drown you in your tears

Honestly I don’t f*****g care

but I’ll pretend to be a friend

So I can prey upon your weakness

Causing you to break and bend

So look into your reflection

Tell me what you see

Can you see past your complexion

Do you see me

I’m the image in the mirror

Its only me that you see

Have I left you in terror

Now that you realize me is we

Hey now don’t get down

I’ll be you regardless

I’m the smile to your frown

the laughter when your speechless

I’m you… your sociopathic clown

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My universe is different

My universe is different than yours

I'll have to show you someday

Then you'll believe in places filled with terror and gore

A place you wouldn't dare to stay

Then you'll see why my reality is one I tend to ignore

My universe is a place where death stalks all

A place where trickery and deception is king

Where you can't rise you only fall

Where torment becomes a familiar sting

So let's take a walk down this long dark hall

I came here one day through a black hole

It gave me knowledge a way to view the world differently

As I traveled I began losing my soul

Demons where everywhere constantly they still torment me mentally

Gradually the ate at my brain like cereal in your bowl

I always see them here my universe

But sadly you can't see nor hear them

Because this universe is my curse

Like decaying flower pedals falling from the stem

Continuously getting worse

They see those that aren't blind

And track those who can't see the light

Causing illusions you can't leave behind

I just wish I would lose my sight

Because these demons aren’t kind

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My Curse

I want to be ignorant

Just like you

But you're brainwashing me With pills

Trapping me in this imprisonment

I wish I was blind. Unable to see

Cause this world is my curse

To all that I breathe.

One day you may discover this parallel world

And find yourself nothing but trouble

With demons that of another world

With voices that torment you

Stay away from the voices

Stay away from the light

Don't listen to them they don't exist

They'll only lead you here where I am

Here with the voices

And demons that I fear

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The man in the corner

I smile

But the man in the corner

Begs to differ

So I cry

And in turn

He smiles

The floor is cold

As I sit on it

Knees to my chest

Crying weeping for days

The voices get closer

Becoming unbearable

So I take medication

And go back to your reality

No more noise

No more men

So I brought her home

Bit forgot to take my medication

I slipped up again

I answered their question out loud

She ran

I never wanted to scare her

I only wanted to care for her

But she ran like all the rest

I starred at the door

And I saw him flash in the corner

I turn, but he was no where

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The Other Me

This bullshits been going on

for far too long

It took me talking to him

to know something was wrong

it started as a whisper

so quiet and weak

I could force it to silence

without having to speak

then my mind and body

started to waste

he started to Gorge

and fell in love with the taste

my slow decline

was the foothold he needed

and his trendils grew

where I didn't know they were seeded

His control grew bigger

Till it shadowed my mind

and the Meth smoke fog I was in

Had simply turned me blind

then one day I was through

enough was enough

I was going to take control

I had to be tough

that was the first time

that he spoke to me

and that no was enough

to finally make me see

I tried and I tried

again and again

crying through his laughter

trying to pour him out through a pen

he was poison like a cancer

you see

he was killing both of us

but everyone just blamed me

then one day I realized

I couldn't get rid of that voice

to do that meant death

and that wasn't a choice

he's a part of me

that but disconnected to

a bystander to the hell

that he's putting me through

that he put you through when I Disappeared

Now every day is a struggle

to quiet his voice

trying to convince myself

I do have a choice

, so he's here to stay

the monkey on my back

the ominous Stranger who calls himself billy