The Life I Built On Lies

Back in the university, I lived a life I'm not so proud of, a life I still struggle to admit out loud. I lived so recklessly I couldn't stop for a moment to think about the consequences. I convinced myself I was happy because everyone around me lived the same way. I was the girl who treated life like a game. The girl who thought attention was relevance and recklessness was freedom. I lived wild, I drank too much, I trusted the wrong people and made choices I can never take back. Then I met Damian. Loving him felt unfamiliar at first, because the initial plan was to be a bad girl for ever, and i and my reckless circle of friends use to say the slogan "Real bad girls don't fall in love". As stupid as that sounds we sure thought we were the smartest girls in campus. But Damian, his love felt gentle, safe and real. Although I tried to ignore it, but true love they say is quite unpredictable and could make you lose all composure. He loved me in a way that made me want to become a better version of myself, not just for him but for me too, and for the future we both wished to be together in. And for the first time in my entire life I built something that felt perfect. Not just a marriage but a lovely home where peace resided. But now... I can feel my past breathing down my neck again. One mistake. One secret. One person from those campus days appearing at the wrong time could destroy everything I’ve spent years protecting. Sometimes I wish I could erase the girl I used to be. But the past never truly stays buried or get erased. And lately it feels like it's digging its way back to me. I honestly don’t know why I feel this way, but the dreams I’ve had these past two nights leave chills crawling beneath my skin... that uneasy feeling that my past is coming back to haunt me. "Good morning, my baby." Damian walked into the bedroom with a tray of breakfast as usual. I startled slightly, realizing I had been too lost in my thoughts to notice him enter. "Hey, baby... are you okay?" he asked softly. "Yeah... yeah, I'm fine baby, good morning," I replied, forcing a small smile onto my face. Damian frowned a little. "Are you sure, my love? You look like you've seen a ghost." I let out a nervous laugh. "It was nothing babe, besides...with you I ain't scared of no ghost." I responded and we both chuckled. He carefully placed the tray in front of me and said, "Here you go, I made your favourite." I smiled hard and felt like the baby he always makes me feel like. He does this every other day and sometimes I feel like I'm undeserving of the kind of love and attention he shows me. I said "thank you baby", with my cheeks spreading into that cutely shy smile. "Ohh, babe , before I forget..." Damian suddenly said. "I won't be able to go pick up jimi from school today", he continued. "so pls..pls...please you have to be the one to go pick him up" I rolled my eyes dramatically and responded "okayyy...but why?" "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you this earlier," he said apologetically. "I will be having a business meeting with an old time friend today, who is also a business associate, we have a deal we both will be working on together, and he might come over to the house this weekend. I hope you don't mind?" I was like..."ohh really?" Trust me at this point I didn't even think about who the stranger was, or even had any deep thought about it. I was just totally fine with my husband bringing his business partner home, of course, why wouldn't I be? I've always trusted his judgement completely. I agreed and we both exchanged kisses and he set out to leave for work. I stood by the door and kept blowing him kisses and waving goodbye untill he drove off. I couldn't stop thinking about how an amazing husband he has been to me. Later that afternoon, I went to pick up Jimi from school. Though knowing my son, he would probably complain the entire ride home about wanting his father instead. And honestly? He wasn’t exactly subtle about being Damian’s biggest fan. Then again another night... Sleep had become almost impossible these past few days. Every time I closed my eyes, the same nightmare dragged me back to those university days I had spent years trying to forget. The loud music. The flashing club lights. The smell of alcohol mixed with perfume and cigarette smoke. Faces I no longer wanted to remember. In my dream, I was always running through the crowded campus corridors while someone called my name from behind. Not my real name, but the nickname only my old friends used back then. The sound haunted me. And no matter how fast I ran, I could never escape it. The worst part of the dream was always the ending. I would suddenly see Damian standing a few steps away from me, staring at me with disappointment in his eyes while someone beside him laughed softly and whispered: "She never told you who she really was." That was always the moment I woke up. Breathing hard. Sweating. Terrified. I slowly sat up on the bed, trying not to wake Damian sleeping peacefully beside me. The soft glow from the bedside lamp reflected against his face, making him look even calmer. Even after years of marriage, I still found it unbelievable that someone like him could love someone like me so completely. Damian trusted me completely. And somehow, that made the fear worse. Because if the truth about certain parts of my past ever reached him the wrong way, I wasn't sure what would survive afterward — our marriage or my heart. I carefully pulled the blanket over myself and glanced at the clock. 2:17 AM. Another sleepless night. I quietly stood from the bed and walked toward the kitchen for water, hoping it would calm the strange heaviness sitting in my chest. But the moment I stepped into the living room, my phone vibrated suddenly against the table. The sound nearly made me jump. I frowned slightly. Who would be texting me at this hour? For a moment, I considered ignoring it. But something deep inside me twisted painfully with unease as I picked up the phone. Unknown Number. My heartbeat slowed. Then I opened th e message. "LONG TIME, TROUBLE." The glass cup slipped from my hand instantly, crashing against the floor.