LIV
587 Words
It's been 5 months 2 weeks 3 days 11 hours and 7 minutes.
I still have this f*****g aching hole in my chest.. Every time I start rubbing it, Em throws me with something.
I can't listen to music.
I can't eat gelato or plain sorbet for that matter..
I'm still not convinced I'm not to blame..
I’m still not convinced I did the right thing, leaving him.
This guilt is eating me alive.
Fuck, here's the ache again.
"Dammit Liv! Just call him! He's miserable without you."
"Sure he is. That's why he has a girlfriend." I'm moody and an all round horrible person to be around. I'm an uber-b***h and I know it.
"You know she is just a stand in till you call him. He loves you! I know it, Katie knows it! Even Mandla called and asked what it will take for you to call the guy."
"Mandla? You two talk? Since when?"
After the Jessica fiasco, Mandla came specially to South-Africa to ask for forgiveness. He got played so badly, I don't think he is ever going to chat up a girl at a party again.
I forgave him, after a heated apology session..
Now he is one of my best friends..
Apparently a very special friend to Em..
"We talk almost every week. I like him.."
That's news to me.. Is that a twinkle in her eye? Oh my!
"Em? What's going on between you two? Something I need to know?"
"Nothing is going on. We are just talking."
Em blushes.
Will I never! Em blushed! I have to call Katie. She'll give me all the juicy details..
Em divorced her dickhead husband. It was a quick and easy divorce. He tried to throw his weight around. Some very incriminating evidence came in very handy. When she confronted him with his extracurricular activities, he immediately signed on the dotted line.
"Hey Liv! How is my favorite big sister doing?"
"Hi Katie, I'm good. What do you think Em's going to say when she hears you?"
I tease Katie.
"She is my favorite little sister.. How are you, really?" She asks concerned.
"Every day better.. I want to ask you something.."
"Oh thank heavens! You want me to talk to James for you. You know Candy is just a gold digging floozy.." Katie starts rambling.
Here comes the ache again.
Oh mother.. Tonight I'm going to have a rash.
"No, No. Candy? Really, that's her name? You know what, I don't want to know..." It hurts to much. This ache start to feel like stab wounds..
Breath Liv, breath through it..
"What's going on between Em and Mandla?"
"As far as I know they are just talking."
"That's what she said."
"Liv, I'm just going to say it.. They don't know how you going to handle it if they do go further."
"What? Jeez am I that morbid. They are 'just talking' because of me? Oh hell no!"
"I told them you going to be pissed. Look sister, I have to go. Remember the TABS tomorrow. let me know what you think."
"Will do.. bye babe.. miss you.." She's gone.
Katie is doing really well. She started her own business. She's a stylist for some big celebrities. That is also the only reason I buy gossip and fashion magazines. Her 'celbies', what she call them, are in every week.
We are very proud of her.
Tomorrow is a musician 'celby' of hers in the TABS. I'll have to remind Em..
- Writer
