LOVING SAM

I remember, a time when I would do anything just to keep someone in my life that did not appreciate what I gave them. I remember now all the heartbreaks and disrespect that have been brushed in my life. A wounded heart that lingers smiles that are barely genuine in the face of those that have been by my side. My name is Leon and right now is one of those days that a man has his world crumble but unknowingly. My friend Timothy has another stone-cold revelation for me and drove me to a place that I have never even been. He keeps dragging me while I insisted that I have work to do, I have a lot of things pending that needed to be done. His voice seemed excited with this so I followed, we get to a motel I do not recognize. ‘What is in this place?’ I ask him. ‘Just follow me!’ I roll my eyes annoyed by his staged game, ‘Why are we here bro?’ I ask him again. ‘Just be patient man,’ he replies, ‘You will not regret this.’ We get to a room, I am annoyed scratching on my beard wearing a white shirt, white jean, a silver watch on my hand and a white cap or my head with white shoes. I was ready for my day at work for this is a Friday and I had plans that evening to take out my beautiful girlfriend Kimberly. I had big plans and getting tired over something petty would hinder my plans. ‘Be quick with your thing brother and you know I hate surprises!’ He laughs, ‘Ohh, I think you are going to love this one.’ We get to a room, he looks around and says, ‘This is it.’ Raise up my shoulders and my eyebrow, ‘This is what exactly?’ He does not say as he rubs his hands together while licking his lips, ‘Get ready brother!’ he takes out his phone and turns on his camera on video. Opens the door slowly and I can hear screams and words being shout out with excitement by a familiar voice. I drop into the room quickly to confirm what I have just heard is true and there she was. Kim, my girlfriend, the one who I was planning to spend tonight with, to spoil her. In bed with a guy that I know and we do not like each other much, an enemy of mine. My knees lose strength, as I hear my heart slowly beating and my consciousness fades into nothingness. My friend Tim busy laughing taking a video of my humiliation. Insulting Kim who is shaking her head with her eyes filled with panic, fear and guilt if there was any because what I heard and saw confirmed she is not. I just point at her as I close my mouth shut without saying a word. I look at the guy who she is in bed with. Tyler my oldest nemesis, smiled at me with a look of satisfaction. I lose my strength and I burst out of the motel room. Clinging to the wall, I can hear a voice calling out my name crying as I head out. Reaching for the car, someone grabs my arm and I look back and I see her crying, tears flowing on her cheeks. My rage is at its pinnacle as I glare at her forming a first on my hand. I look at her from top to bottom. The woman who I was planning to propose to tonight. ‘Leon, please do not leave please I beg you.’ She says, ‘I did not mean …’ ‘To what, Kim?’ I scoff, ‘Sleep with him?’ I point at the motel building and people are there taking videos, ‘I cannot do this here or anywhere.’ Remove her from me, ‘Just don’t.’ I reach out into my pocket and I get that ring casing, opening it as she stares at it. Surprised to see it following my hand as I return it back into my pocket. I begin to look for Tim who is busy taking a video along the small crowd laughing. ‘Leon, lets talk about this my love?’ I ignore her and raise my hand to call Tim over, ‘Let’s go Bro!’ He slowly comes over still taking the video, ‘Stop taking the video we got to go.’ I can see her trying to lay her hand on me but she is hesitant and keeps asking for me to talk to her about it. In my head, I know now I have dodged another bullet but that’s not the surprising part. I thought I had gotten stronger and used to it that it would not hurt or surprise me. I can here her still asking but I am already gone from her. I scan her from heard to toe, wearing nothing but covering her body with sheets from the motel. I do not know how to react just powerless. Tim gets to where we are, ‘I told you she was a good for nothing cheater bro but you did not believe me,’ he makes the point he has always made trying to disqualify her. ‘Point proved and taken, now let’s go!’ He continues taking the video insulting her. I see now why I should have driven my won car and followed because of this. I am getting late because of someone’s need for clout chasing on the internet. I instantly begin to move to go to the station where I can get transport for the anger that is boiling hot in me, I could hit her instead of just walking away. She follows me and blocks my pathway. ‘Leon please, let us just talk!’ ‘There is nothing left to say, Kim.’ ‘Please, what about us, our plan and the proposal you were planning and the two years we have been together?’ I scoff, ‘You remember that now?’ I stare at her with a blank emotionless star, she moves back seeing the indifference in my eyes, ‘What about us? Really? Did you not think of the years and the us? When you got in bed with him?’ ‘You were never there! Always busy, always this. What was I supposed to do? I needed someone to talk to and he was there and offered me emotional support something…..’ ‘Something I what Kim?’ I scoff, ‘You know what, never mind,’ I sigh, ‘I am glad you have someone who offers you what you need. I have nothing to say.’ Move to the side and continue my way and she kept on following me, insulting me, about my body, my weaknesses and so on trying to make me feel inferior but that does not work anymore. She went beg to asking for forgiveness, funny. Tim pulls up with his car, but I ignore him as I head back. As I trod upon the road with my mind overshadowed with troubled thoughts, unbelieving of what I have just seen. Opening the small box in my hand again to see the ring I had bought for her. Blinded by the affections she had shown me over the years we have been together. I feel a sharp pain upon my heart, rub upon my heart stopping in the middle of the road. Beside me, a young woman, passes by me with her head tilted to the side. Young, rough, sadness, ambling in the same direction as I wearing a black dress, light skinned, five feet one. Nice long hair tied at the back. Holding a small purse in her hand. But too distracted with my own heartbeat to notice her much that I continue forward on my day unable to go to work anymore. I send a message to my assistant, telling her that I am unable to come to the office today and I have to go and get a checkup. This is the first time as a young man I have called into work for anything of being sick and unable to come rather than I am running a little late as a few little times I have. I continue on my way headed for the hospital. Getting to the hospital, I wait in line. My hands shaking, breathing heavily, gasping for air. Suddenly, having a funny feeling of everyone mocking and laughing at me around, making me feel uncomfortable. No one was there when it happened and no one knows. And yet my world feels like it is crumbling and everyone is laughing at me.3 Quickly, I get up out of the line, headed out stumbling, holding on to walls finding balance in this situation I am in. I had a panic attack and fainted right there in the hospital corridor. Everything in my life was breaking bit by bit with each thought. I woke up, I saw my friend at the side of the bed, alongside my mother and my father with my siblings. ‘You gave us a scare there, Leon!’ I look at my mother, ‘Mom,’ turn my head to my father, ‘Dad?’ I cough a little, ‘What are you doing here?’ I look at them all confused. What had happened to me while I was about to leave the hospital? And who told them that I was here? When did they get here? I wonder alone in my mind trying to make sense of it all. ‘I followed your tracks Brother and it led me here so I asked around,’ Tim answers. ‘Ok, ok,’ I slowly get up to sit up straight on the bed, ‘What is going on though?’ My mother rushes to my side and holds me softly helping me sit up straight and says, ‘We do not know, we are still waiting on the doctor to come and give us the results.’ ‘How are you feeling son?’ my father asks. ‘I am doing good pops just a little bit of stress that is all.’ ‘Stress? At your age?’ he chuckles, ‘No wife, no children?’ I look at him, as images of what I have seen earlier flash in my mind. If only he knew what I am going through maybe he would not even make a joke out of this or maybe he would. ‘Has your girlfriend found a guy with money, a rich man?’ he laughs. My mother looks at him, ‘This is not the time.’ She says shooting him a warning glare, ‘This might be a serious situation.’ ‘Come on, we knew this would happen because that girlfriend of his is no good.’ ‘Leon’s Father!’ she says in a low cutting voice of warning. ‘It is true,’ my sister Rachel cuts in, ‘That girl has been nothing but trouble ever since she came into his life and he has never been the same.’ I am surprised my little brother Sean is on his phone with all his concentration, all his focus on his phone. As the others continue to argue, I mind them not for my mind is filled with the same images of betrayal I saw today. I look around the room and everyone seems uneasy and I am confused by all this. Finally, the doctor comes into the room holding papers. ‘Good, you are awake,’ He says setting himself in front of me, ‘Father and Mother, I am sorry to keep you waiting.’ He looks at his papers. A tense atmosphere, expecting something arises. Their eyes shot at the doctor before he says anything. My mother and father asking what it is that is wrong. But he just smiles fixing his papers to read. ‘The results are out and there is nothing much just that his body was stressed, a sudden drop in his heart rate and blood pressure leading to the reduction of blood flow to the brain.’ He closes his papers, ‘He can go home but I need him to come back tomorrow for a check-up and he needs to have some therapy sessions.’ As the doctor explained I dosed, knowing what has caused me to be like this. Afterward they take me home and my mother says she would stay behind with me.