Don't Stop Believing

There You'll Be

It’s been two months after Mum’s funeral, and everything went back to normal. People went about their days as if nothing had happened and then there was me…still moping around the house feeling lost and drained. I sat on the couch staring into space; one thing Mum’s death has taught me is life is way too short to stay mad. So, hug your family members tighter, love with all your heart and live each day as if it’s your last, tomorrow isn’t promised, and neither is today.  

I spent the rest of the day going through Mum’s belonging with the four girls. It had to be done at some point, and emotions were too raw to do it after her death.

“Oh my.” Giggled Skyline as she held up a long black top with a skull on the front, she did always have a habit of stealing our clothes.

“I was looking for that everywhere!” I smiled. “She always did like this top.” I held it up when I realised it had a massive tear on the side. I couldn’t get rid of it as she was the last person to wear this top. It still smells just like her perfume John Paul Gaultier; tears began to drip down my face. I still remember the day she brought me a bottle, it was the best gift I had ever received and to this very day I still have it.

“You, okay?” asked Chloe.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” I wrapped my arms around Chloe giving her a tight squeeze.

I couldn’t believe at how grown-up Lola and Chloe are now. It’s crazy how one tragic thing can affect people in different ways.  I spent most of the day with the girls having a laugh and going down memory lane but then it was finally time for me to go home. This was the first time I had left the house since her funeral, and one day was enough to make me want to crawl back to bed…but of course Nan had other ideas. She always has been the person to pick me back up and dust me off. She drove slowly down the street muttering to herself as I pretended to listen or give a damn. I just wanted to go home.

“Here we are.” She smiled.

“Where?” I looked around to see we were pulled up at a fancy restaurant and that’s when I saw all our cousins and uncles gathered around the table waiting for me and my sisters.

“I thought it’d be a nice treat.” Said Nan with a huge smile on her face.

“It’s lovely, Nan.” I hugged her tightly.

I saw Skyline and Jodie from across the road looking just as confused as I was.

“Did you know about this?” I questioned Skyline as I was getting out of the car.

“No. Noah only told us when you left, what’s this all about?”

I shrugged; I had no idea myself but that’s something that I wanted to find out. Surely this can’t be about cheering us up, why would they pay for a fancy meal? We done all our greeting as we walked in still clueless on what was going. Everyone had a grin on their faces as if they were expecting something to happen and that’s when I turned around to see…Dad standing there with our Step Mum. I was taken back a bit, why is he here again? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There he was standing in front of us and all I wanted to do was cry. “Dad!” I sobbed. I ran into his arms.

“It’s good to see you too, Crystal.” He giggled.

“What are you doing here?” questioned Jodie with a frown on her face.

“We thought we’d have a holiday here this time plus you girls need us.”

I was over the moon that Dad decided to come home for a few weeks. I needed him more than ever and so did my sisters.

“How long you over here for?” questioned Jodie.

“A few weeks.”

“Where are you staying?”

“With Mum.” He smiled in my direction; I gave him an awkward smile back meanwhile I was thinking to myself brilliant! Back living with a parent all over again. I’d lie if I said I didn’t enjoy the meal because I did, what’s not to love about free food.

By the end of the night, I was defiantly ready to crawl into bed.

Morning soon crept around the corner; I lifted the duvet over my head refusing to leave my room, but Dad had other ideas. He barged in my room with a huge smile on his face. “Come on.” He beamed with excitement.

“No.” I bluntly said.

“What?!” The tone of his voice soon changed. “Up you get. It’s a beautiful day.” I swung my legs over the edge of the bed with a sour look on my face. So, what if today is beautiful, I won’t be getting any enjoyment out of it. What’s the point.

“Fine! Let me get ready then.”

I stared at myself in the mirror knowing that I needed to have a long talk with myself. This is not on; I can’t keep crying and wishing she were here. I’m only doing harm to myself; I’m making other around me miserable and I know Mum wouldn’t want this. After I took a long, good look at myself in the mirror it was time to paint a smile on my face even if all I wanted to do was cry.

Downstairs Dad was pasting up and down the kitchen waiting patiently for me.

“I don’t know how to get her out of this.” Sighed Dad.

“I’ll be fine.” I smiled.

“Crystal!”

“I miss her that’s all, Dad.” I ensured him that I was fine. I didn’t want him going back home thinking that I was still miserable. I’m fine or so I keep telling myself.

That day Dad decided to take all three of us girls out for breakfast. We haven’t spent time with him like this for 8 years; it was different a few months ago. He was over here for a different reason.

I sat down at a large brown table with Skyline opposite me and Jodie beside me while Dad chatted to everyone in the café. I keep forgetting that he doesn’t live here anymore so of course he wants to catch up with all his old mates, who wouldn’t?

“You, okay?” I asked Skyline who was biting her nails. If she carried on, she’d end up chewing her fingers off.

“Yeah. I’m fine, just hungry.”

I gave Dad a look making sure he didn’t forget that he was here to spend time with his girls. He had two weeks to catch up with his pals, but this was our time.

“Sorry girls. Your breakfast is on its way.” He said placing the drinks down on the table. I took a massive sip of my ice coffee enjoying every mouthful. Ever since I was a teenager, I have loved my coffee. I am certain that my body is made up of 80% caffeine and 20% water.

“What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I’ve got work.” It was my first day back after having a few months off. I needed time to myself and to deal with this grief before I came face to face with customers who will have thousands of questions as to why I have been off for so long.

“You excited?”

“You could say that.” I smiled.

Thankfully, our breakfast arrived just in time to get me out of this awkward conversation.

I looked out of the window and that’s when I saw him, a guy I have known my whole life, but we lost touch. It was him; he was close enough that I was able to smell his aftershave; I guess feelings never change…