Chapter 6 Alex
1096 Words
It’s been two weeks since I moved to San Francisco and things
were beginning to settle down.
I couldn’t say that I have fully adjusted to university life. The
workload was more difficult than I first expected it to be. The campus was
still a maze for me, it was just too big to what I’ve become accustomed to (it
may actually even be larger than the whole of Greenville!). And socializing,
which I initially thought wasn’t as compulsory nor as necessary as it was
back in high school, turned out to be a major part of college life... and it was
a skill that I’ve always been terrible at.
Yeah, I was having a hard time.
The situation at the apartment has stabilized, though. Things have gone
back to normal since that unfortunate night. Chad and I have even gotten
close... closer than I thought we could be. We talked a lot, shared stories
about our lives and our dreams and how we viewed the world. We laughed a
lot, too. He had a wonderful sense of humor. Often, when we were both at
home, we’d invite each other to go out and grab something to eat.
I started to think that we’ve gotten close enough to be more than just
roommates.
We’ve become brothers.
Like real brothers and not just brothers who were forced to be related
because our parents married each other.
So yeah, at least that part of my new reality was going well.
Yet, there was one thing that I still had to do.
Find a job.
I wasn’t pressured to leave the apartment as I was two weeks ago, but I
still had bills to pay. And my tuition was due in a month. And though Chad
wasn’t asking, I knew that I had to take the initiative to pay my share of the
expenses.
Things went horribly bad the last time I tried to get a job back at the
pizzeria. I had enough time to prepare myself since then. I’ve pushed myself
to be stronger, to be tougher, to be better.
After school, I proceeded to a laundry shop located at Blacksmith Drive,
two blocks away from Chad’s apartment. They advertised an opening on
Craig’s List. They were looking for a cashier to man the place. It was the
perfect opportunity for me. The washing machines were coin operated. All I
had to do was exchange bills for coins.
How hard could that be?
I arrived at Babsy’s Laundrymat, the name of the shop. There I met Lucy
Gordon, the owner. She was a nice, elderly lady who greeted me with a smile
that never left her kind face.
“Oh, the job’s going to be easy-peasy, dear,” she told me. “And you’re a
pleasant-looking young man. You’ll fit right in!”
“That’s what I’m aiming for, Ma’am,” I replied.
“But you’ll be all alone here,” she continued. “You’ll be the only staff.
So, aside from issuing coins, you’ll also have to assist customers whenever
they’ll have problems with any of the machines. Nothing complex, of course.
You just have to teach people who don’t know how to use ‘em. Goodness,
there’s quite a number of them who’re quite ignorant with these things,
surprisingly. If there’s some technical problems, you’re not obligated to fix
‘em. Just have the customer transfer to another machine and call in the
broken one for repairs.”
“No problem, Ma’am,” I confidently answered. Washing machines were
simple devices.
“Excellent! Now, dear, you do know how to use one, right?” Lucy wanted
to be sure.
“Of course, Ma’am,” I guaranteed.
“Oh, wonderful!” she gushed. “Can you show me?”
“S-Show you?” I repeated her words. I was starting to get anxious, but I
tried my best to stay strong. I could do this. It’s such a simple task. I
shouldn’t feel nervous.
“Yes, dear. I know you’re very familiar with these. As I’ve said, the job
isn’t difficult at all, especially for a college student like you. I just want to see
how soft your hands are in handling these machines,” she went on, still with a
warm smile.
“O-Okay,” I hesitantly agreed. My knees were starting to get weak. My
hands were beginning to tremble. A maelstrom swirled in my gut.
She led me to one of the units.
“Here you go, dear,” she told me rather excitedly. “Work your magic on
this one.”
“Okay,” I mumbled.
She gave me four fifty cent coins that I could use to start the machine. I
held them for the longest time, staring blankly at their silvery forms as they
rested on my palm.
“They amount to two dollars,” Lucy stated the obvious. “That’s the cost
of a fifteen minute wash on normal load.”
“Okay,” I uttered again as I didn’t know what else to say.
“So... anytime you’re ready, dear,” she reminded me with a smile.
“Okay.” I knew I was sounding weird, but at that exact moment, my mind
has gone blank and I was consumed by the fear that I would screw up this
opportunity like I always have.
All I had to do was drop the coins and the machine would start. But my
mind was a haze, haunted by ghosts of past failures and the dread of new
ones. It made me doubt everything. Shouldn’t I do something before dropping
the coins? Should I drop the coins one after the other or wait for a few
seconds in between? What should I do when the machine starts up? Should I
keep the lid open or close? Was there water inside? Should I add water now
or after the coins have been placed?
Operating a washing machine should’ve been automatic for me. I’ve done
that many times before. I didn’t even think about how, exactly, it was done. I
just did it.
But now, confronted with my fears, I couldn’t move once again.
Everything that I knew suddenly vanished, replaced by gnawing insecurity,
by paralyzing indecision, and by besetting distrust about my own
capabilities... even one as elementary as using a damn washing machine.
I remained where I was, motionless, for quite some time.
The smile on Lucy’s face disappeared.
She didn’t have to say anything. I already knew what she was thinking.
I already knew what was happening.
I choked.
Again.
- Writer
