Chapter 9 Chad
895 Words
I stayed outside my apartment, pacing around the hallway with
frantic steps, trying my best to make sense of what just happened,
the same thought echoing in my head over and over and over
again...
What the f**k was that?!
Alex was in a state of distress and I tried to calm him down. Everything
seemed okay. His tears began to subside. I believed he was about to open up
to me. Then he whispered one word... one f*****g word... that left me
flustered with trepidation and panic.
Daddy...
Why the hell would he call me daddy?
I had my suspicion. Two weeks ago, I caught him dressed like a baby. He
said that it was something he never really outgrew, something that provided
him some sort of repose so much so that he felt like he had to do it from time
to time. How often, I didn’t know. I didn’t bother to ask. I told him never to
do it again. To his credit, he didn’t.
At that point, I thought that dressing up like a baby was just a habit he
developed. Perhaps the soft fabric of his onesie gave him a sensation that he
couldn’t find from any other type of garment? Maybe the soft feel of the
pacifier’s n****e was just his way to satisfy some kind of need for oral
gratification, like how a smoker would need a toothpick after he has decided
to quit? Or maybe he just fancied how he looked when he’s garbed like a
child?
But what if...
What if wearing baby clothes was more than just some demented cosplay
fantasy of his?
What if he didn’t only dress up like a baby? What if he also had to act
like one?
Oh God... that’s so f****d up!
My pace quickened. A few of the tenants in the building saw me walking
around in circles just outside my door. They gave me dubious looks. One of
them asked me if everything was okay. I couldn’t remember if I was even
able to answer her. I was too caught up with the thought that an overgrown
infant was left inside my flat.
Daddy...
Did Alex have issues with his father that damaged his psyche to the point
that he had to act the way he was acting? Did he suffer from some emotional
or physical abuse when he was a kid that he had to hide in a shell to protect
himself... a shell that, up to now, he was still preserving inside him? Was he
tormented by some personal demons that he felt he had to pretend to be
someone he’s not because he was afraid to become who he really was?
Fuck this! I’m no shrink!
I stopped treading the empty area outside my room and stared at the door.
I reminded myself of who was inside. Alex. The stepbrother who, just two
weeks ago, I haven’t even met before. The roommate who, in that short
period of time, turned out to be a nice guy who I actually enjoyed hanging
out with. He’s a good kid. Kind, caring, respectful and smart.
He’s also acting like a baby.
Surely, there was a reason for that. And I wouldn’t know what it was if I
stayed away from him.
What if he needed help? And I just... left him...
I grunted as a plethora of emotions surged within me... of fear and
anguish and detestation and worry...
And guilt.
I hated this feeling of guilt more than anything else.
Daddy...
He called me daddy.
Maybe that’s what he needed. A father figure. Someone who’d make him
feel safe. Someone who he’d feel was actually concerned about him.
Someone who’d tell him that everything was going to be okay.
It’s not usual. It’s unconventional. And it’s even crazy.
But if that’s what he needed, then that’s what he needed... and I shouldn’t
walk away from him.
I took a deep breath before turning the knob to go back inside my
apartment.
Alex was still there, lying on his bed, curled up like a ball, his back
turned against me. He was still whimpering, often with an unusually fast
rhythm that I thought he was suffering an asthma attack.
I paused for a bit, wondering once more whether or not I’d be doing the
right thing. Then I realized that this wasn’t a matter of what was right or what
was wrong. This was something about trying to make something right,
regardless.
I approached him. He was sniffing so loudly that he didn’t even see me
coming. So, when I touched his back to tell him I was there, he quickly
twitched his body away from me in shock.
“C-Chad...” Alex muttered. He was surprised to see me. Almost
immediately, his lips twisted downwards as his eyes began to swell. He was
about to cry uncontrollably once again. “Chad... I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...
I’m so sor-”
I placed my hand over his head and stroked his hair, all the while
reminding myself that this was something I had to do.
“Shhhh,” I tried to silence him. “Hush now, baby.” I swallowed some air
before delivering the words that I never, ever thought I would say to any
person - more so a grown man. “Daddy’s here.”
- Writer
