I’m Not Worthy of Your Deep Love

Emma smiled faintly at her friend's question. She had loved him since childhood, but he was like a star in the sky—always visible, forever out of reach. "Will you move out after the divorce? Would you like me to help you find a place?" her friend asked. Emma sighed, leaning against the window frame, her energy depleted. "I'll probably move in with my mother." "Emma..." "I have to go!" From the corner of her eye, she spotted him coming downstairs, wearing only a silver bathrobe. She didn't dare look directly at him as she quickly ended the call. He was undeniably handsome, both in status and appearance. She had always been captivated by him, but he was captivated by someone else entirely. Emma was a few years younger than Alex. Her marriage to him was thanks to their grandfathers' close relationship, and even more so because of the woman he loved—Jessica's medical condition. The Walker family would never accept a daughter-in-law who couldn't bear children. And so, Emma became the bride they pushed toward him. Alex, for Jessica's sake, had made a private arrangement with Emma. She would be his wife in name only. In return, he would solve her family's problems and care for her mother. This way, all three parties got what they wanted. "The divorce agreement states that this property belongs to you," he said. In this prime real estate area, he was giving her a seaside apartment worth millions. How generous of him. Emma smiled. "I don't think Jessica would be happy about that." At the mention of "Jessica," a flash of coldness crossed Alex's eyes, but he simply turned and walked toward the kitchen. Emma glanced at her watch—already ten o'clock. When Alex returned with a glass of red wine, she began, "Mr. Walker, I should—" "Have a drink," he interrupted. "..." "You don't drink?" "..." Emma walked over and awkwardly accepted the glass. How could he assume that a woman in her twenties wouldn't know how to drink? She took a small sip. The high-quality wine went down smoothly. She stood beside him, eyes downcast. Alex studied her. "You're... twenty...?" "Twenty-three," she corrected. She had been quite young when they married. Alex nodded, appraising her from head to toe. She was still wearing black pants and a shirt, though this time the blouse was a different style—more ladylike. Alex certainly knew she was beautiful. Perhaps too beautiful, even distractingly so. After they finished their drinks, Emma spoke up again. "It's getting late. I won't keep you up any longer, Mr. Walker." "Grandfather's men are outside. You're not going anywhere tonight," he replied. "..." Emma looked at him in disbelief. Alex smiled. "Just like before." Emma watched as he headed upstairs, involuntarily drawing a sharp breath. What did he mean by "just like before"? That she would sleep in the bed while he took the sofa? Logically, even with his grandfather's people watching the house, the place was large enough that she could sleep on this very couch. "You don't think I'd sleep in a bed you've slept in, do you?" Alex called from the staircase, looking down at her with disdain, apparently sensing her concern. Emma stood speechless. Realizing this might be their last time alone together, she couldn't bring herself to refuse following him upstairs. It was summer, so the night wasn't cold. Each of them settled in, just like on their wedding night. Yet sometime in the middle of the night, in the pitch-black room, someone stood by her bedside, looking down at her from above. --- Having been briefed by Alex beforehand, Emma felt composed when meeting Jessica for lunch at Starlight restaurant the next day. Jessica greeted her with a smile, taking her hand. "How many years has it been since we last met? You've grown into such a lovely young woman!" Emma smiled gently. "Yes." Having grown up around both of them, Emma suffered the disadvantage of always being seen as a child. Before they could even sit down, Jessica asked, "Our beautiful Emma must have had many handsome men pursuing her abroad, right?" "Yes, but I only like one of them," Emma replied with a smile. A sudden silence fell over the private dining room. Noticing the strange expressions on both Jessica and Alex's faces, Emma quickly added, "He's a senior student, one year ahead of me." "Oh, a senior! Is he good to you?" Jessica asked, visibly relieved. By now, all three had taken their seats. Alex's gaze remained fixed on Emma's face. She stared at the table settings, careful not to misspeak. "Very good. All the girls at school like him, but he says I'm special—that he only likes me." "That's wonderful! He must truly love you. Make sure you cherish that." "I will." Emma agreed, instinctively glancing at the man sitting diagonally across from her. He was already ordering food, though selecting only dishes Jessica could eat. "Alex, my food is so bland. It's kind enough that you join me—we shouldn't make Emma eat so plainly too," Jessica said, gesturing to pass the menu to Emma. Emma smiled politely. "This is plenty. I'm mostly vegetarian these days." Both Jessica and Alex looked at her curiously upon hearing she was vegetarian. She used to love meat. "I switched to vegetarian later," Emma explained truthfully. From her first day abroad, she had indeed become vegetarian. Somehow, it brought her a small measure of peace. "With your mother being unwell, you'll probably stay for quite a while. Won't your boyfriend worry?" Jessica asked during the meal, eating sparingly while continuing to inquire about Emma's life. "Travel is so convenient these days. If we miss each other, we can always meet up," Emma replied. "True enough. But... does he know you've been married before?" Jessica pressed on. At this, Emma couldn't help glancing at Alex, who was watching her with intense dark eyes. "I plan to tell him after the divorce," Emma said, lowering her gaze as she served herself some food. "That's probably for the best. Don't worry about it. If necessary, Alex and I can personally clarify things for you. Besides..." Jessica suddenly paused. Emma looked at her curiously. Jessica smiled. "I'm sure during your first time together, he already knew what a virtuous girl you are." "..." Emma wasn't sure why the conversation had suddenly taken this intimate turn. Perhaps she was too young to know how to respond appropriately. Alex placed some food in Jessica's bowl. "Eat something first." Seeing his attentiveness, Jessica said to him, "I feel guilty making you take care of me all the time. I've thought about it—Emma is such a wonderful girl. If I'm gone someday, wouldn't it be perfect if she could take care of you for me?" "Jessica!" Alex set down his chopsticks abruptly. "I know, I know you wouldn't want that. And I know it would be unfair to Emma. It's all because I'm so useless!" Jessica suddenly began to cry. Was she always this dramatic? Emma said nothing more, focusing on the rice in her bowl. This entire meal was arranged to alleviate Jessica's concerns about her, and Emma was fully aware of Alex's intentions. She patiently played along, grateful that even the slowest meal would eventually end after an hour or so. Jessica was in the late stages of cancer, so after lunch, Alex needed to take her home. Still, Jessica expressed concern for Emma. "Emma, why don't you let Alex drive you somewhere?" "No need. I have another place to go. I won't be the third wheel for you and Mr. Walker," Emma said, waving goodbye to them. "You call me 'Jessica,' so don't call Alex 'Mr. Walker.' Call him 'brother-in-law' instead," Jessica suggested. "..." Emma froze, instinctively looking toward Alex. Alex frowned slightly, meeting her gaze in silence. Caught in an awkward position, but unwilling to disappoint Jessica, Emma stumbled through the words: "Sis... brother-in-law."