Forcedly Yours

Kristina, Age Fifteen The Past --- "My God, Roger. Anong ginawa mo?" Kunot-noong napatigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang naghihisterikal na boses ni mama. Wala sa loob na sinundan ko ang boses nya sa maliit na terrace. "Huminahon ka nga, Kate. Wala tayong choice," may bahid ng inis na sagot ng tatay ko. Naisip ko kaagad na may problema sa pera. Bihirang mag-away ang mga magulang ko at 'pag nangyari 'yon ay iisa lang ang dahilan, pera. Napadalas lang netong mga huling dalawang taon ang pag-aaway nila simula 'nong magkasakit si Karina. "Wala na bang ibang paraan? Wala na ba tayong pwede gaw-" "Tangina, Kate," galit na putol ng tatay ko. "Sa tingin mo ba sasang-ayon ako kung may iba pang paraan? Wala ng natira sa ipon natin. Wala ng may gustong magpa-utang sa akin. Halos nawala na ang kredibilidad ko sa opisina dahil sa pangungutang ko. Wala tayong choice, naiintindihan mo ba? O gusto mong hayaang mamatay si Karina?" Hagulhol ang sumagot sa sinabi ni papa. Hindi ko namalayan na tumulo na 'rin ang luha ko. Our life had been difficult the past couple of years. Isang civil engineer ang papa ko at mayroong maliit na construction firm, habang ER nurse naman si mama. Kung dati ay komportable kami, ngayon ni hindi na namin magamit ang aircon sa bahay para makatipid ng kuryente. Kung anu-ano na rin ang tinitinda ng mga magulang ko sa mga ka trabaho nila para magkaroon ng extra. Stage 2 Lymphoma. Treatable and curable ayon sa mga doktor kaya ginagawa ng mga magulang namin ang lahat para matustusan ang pagpapagamot. Nasa final stages na si Karina at malapit ng gumaling. Thank God. Bakit nag-aaway si mama at papa? Kung anu-ano na ang pumasok sa isip ko. Lumala ba ang sakit ni Karina? That's the worst-case scenario. My heart squeezed painfully. I can't. I can't even think about it. Not my sweet sister. Tumalikod ako bago nila mapansin ang pakikinig ko. "Paano ang buhay ni Tin? My God, Roger-" Agad na napatigil ako nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. What about me? Ano'ng ibig-sabihin ni mama? "Calm down, Kate. Magiging okay ang lahat. Gagaling na si Karina, di'ba 'yon naman ang pinaka-importante sa ngayon? Mababayaran natin ang lahat ng utang natin. Wala na tayong dapat alalahanin." "Pero-" "For Pete's sake, Kate! This is for the best! Everything will be okay." At the time, I agreed. Nothing was more important than my sister's life. Nothing could have been worse than her death. I was willing to do what it took for my sister to improve. Only, I didn't know what it would cost me. ------------------------------- PRESENT "Please, will you be my girlfriend?" Natatawang tumango ako. Aiden has been courting me for a year. He also has been extremely patient, too. It is the perfect time for me to say 'yes' to him. He is a basketball varsity player and a lot of girls wanted to be with him. Madalas pa namin siyang tinutukso ni Sonia pagtungtong namin ng college. Aiden was sickly thin in high school so imagine our shock when he showed up looking like an adonis on our first day in college. He claimed to work his ass off in the gym when he was in the US for a vacation after graduating from high school. He was my friend and classmate before I had to transfer to an all-girls high school where I met Sonia. Aiden and I kept in touch and met from time to time. Pagkalaunan ay naging close na rin silang dalawa ni Sonia. Aiden had always been just a friend. No, I didn't have a crush on him. No, I didn't pine over him throughout college. He's had girlfriends, and I was too focused on studying. He just suddenly stopped seeing other people during our third year in college and told me he liked me a few months later. And that's how we got here a year later. That's the next stage of courtship, right? It's not like I have any other prospects and I didn't want to leave college without even having a boyfriend. Nanlaki ang mata niya bago ako hinawakan sa magkabilang balikat. "For real?" halos hindi makapaniwalang sambit niya. I smile, "For real." He jumps, fist-pumps the air, and hugs me ignoring the students looking at him like he was crazy. "You just made me the happiest guy on earth, Tin. I'll always take care of you, okay? Hindi ka magsisisi." He said, kissing my forehead. Sonia rolls her eyes, smiling. "Ugh, finally. Pagod na ako sa kakatanong nyan kung kelan mo daw siya sasagutin." We were laughing, and talking amongst ourselves while walking back to the campus when I bumped into a hard body. I wince and pick up the book that fell. "The f**k, man? Tumingin ka nga sa dinadaanan mo," galit na sabi ni Aiden bago ako hinawakan sa balikat. Wala sa loob na tumingin ako sa nabangga ko. I pause, feeling my heart race. Surely, no one is that beautiful? The stranger is tall—that's the first thing I noticed about him. That, and his piercing greyish eyes and cold, unsmiling demeanor. He looked like a fortress: a solid, unfeeling wall of a man. His nose is slightly crooked and he has a mole on his left cheek, just below his left eye. He has the longest eyelash I've seen in a man, his lips look soft and- I shook my head. Binalik ko ang tingin sa mata niya pero wala sa akin ang tingin niya. He is staring coldly at Aiden's arm on my shoulder, as if he was offended by our closeness. He slowly lifts his eyes to me, pinning me on my spot. Something passed between us, making my heart pound. Malamig ang tingin na tinitigan niya ako na parang may atraso ako sa kanya. What on earth? I can see Sonia gaping at him from my peripheral view, no doubt also awestruck by his inhumane beauty. I suddenly felt the urge to tear Sonia's gaze away from him. Natigilan ako sa inisip ko. What the heck? Why am I having these irrational thoughts in my head? "Let's go, babe." marahang hinarap ako ni Aiden sa kanya. "Careful next time, okay?" he said, his eyes concerned. I wanted to respond to him but my tongue failed to unglue itself from the roof of my mouth. I turned my head back to the stranger only to find him looking at Aiden's arm again, gritting his jaw before walking away. Ilang sandali na napatitig kaming tatlo sa kanya. "Holy molly, who the hell was that?" Sonia said, voicing my thoughts. Who is he? I found myself thinking about him even after I went home that day. ----------------- "Sa susunod sa boyfriend mo na ikaw magpapahatid, okay?" "Are you tired of me?" pabirong sagot ko kay Sonia pagtigil ng sasakyan niya sa harap ng bahay namin. She rolls her eyes, "Well, duh. Di kita gets, alam mo ba 'yon? Di ko alam bakit tumanggi kang ihatid ni Aiden." I know I shouldn't have refused when Aiden offered to take me home but I can't have him drive me when my thoughts kept on drifting back to the stranger. There was just something about him looking at us earlier. Almost as if he knows us. Knows me. My family is not rich but I recognize luxury when I see it and his presence screams it. "I'll see you next semester, bestie," bumaba na ako agad pagkatapos namin magbeso. I walked inside the house and immediately felt something was amiss. Nakangiti na lumingon ako kay mama habang pababa siya ng hagdan. Napalis ang ngiti ko nang makita ko ang pugto niyang mata. "Ma? May problema?" Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "T-tin.." My father appeared on top of the stairs, his face hard and serious. "Tina, there's something we have to talk to you about." Wala sa loob na sinundan ko sila sa kwarto nila. Umiiyak na umupo si mama sa kama at agad ko siyang tinabihan. What on earth is wrong? Nagpipintig ang bagang na sinulyapan siya ni papa bago binalik sa akin ang tingin. "Seven years ago, we had to do something for Karina." I sigh, "I know." Nanlaki ang mata ni papa, "Paano mo nalaman?" "Narinig ko kayo." Natigilan siya. "Ano'ng narinig mo, Tina?" I frowned, biting my cheek. "Binanggit lang ni mama ang pangalan ko. 'Yon lang. Bakit umiiyak si mama, pa? May problema ba? May sakit ba ulit si Kar-" "You're getting married." Lumakas ang hagulhol ni mama at sa puntong 'yon ay gusto ko na siyang sabayan. "W..what? M..married? Ak...ako?" gulat na sambit ko, "Di ko maintindihan, papa. Paanong-" He looks conflicted and guilty. "Si Karina...we were out of funds. We were also on the verge of losing the construction firm. Inireklamo na ako lahat ng mga kliyente ko dahil hindi ako makabayad ng utang at makahabol sa mga deadlines. They were going to file for a case against me. I was about to lose the firm and I was about to lose your sister. I had to do something." "Hindi ko pa 'rin maintindihan bakit ako? Paanong naging...it doesn't make sense why I should get married." nalilitong sabi ko. "It was a deal I had to agree to, Tin. He was going to fund everything, pay all our debts, and ensure that I could keep the construction firm," umiling si papa, "Hindi ko din maintindihan bakit ikaw. You were fifteen years old for Christ's sake. Hindi ako pumayag noong una, Tin. I refused but...I was desperate to save your sister. Was desperate to save our life.." I sit there, shaking. I detangled myself from hugging my mother and hugged myself instead. There's a pit in my stomach and I feel like I'm going to vomit. "It doesn't make any sense," bulong ko. Patuloy pa din ang pag-iyak ni mama at namumuo na rin ang luha ng tatay ko. How the hell did I get here? My life flashed in front of me. Me. Married to someone I don't know. Legit na nasusuka ako. "You don't have to, Tin." napapailing na sabi ni papa na para bang natauhan. "I'll take responsibility for all of it." "What will happen if I don't...I don't go through it?" Hindi niya ako matingnan sa mata, "Makukulong kami ng mama mo." I swallowed, feeling like someone was choking me. I blurted the most selfish thing I said in my life before I could stop myself. "Bakit hindi si Karina? Bakit ako?" "Your sister was never an option."