Forcedly Yours

Chapter Ten

"Sosyal! May driver," pabirong sabi sa'kin ni Sonia habang papalabas kami ng ospital.

Natatawang umirap ako sa kanya. She's been saying the same thing over and over since she first saw Mang Tonio dropping me off almost a month ago.

"Ugh, I swear baka hindi ko din mapakinabangan ang kursong 'to pag-graduate natin," pagod ang boses na sabi niya habang minamasa-masahe ang balikat.

"Talagang hindi kasi kailangan pa nating pumasa ng boards," sagot ko.

Pabiro na umirap siya, "Well, duh. You know what I mean."

Ngumiti and bumati kami sa mga dalawang doctor na nakasalubong namin. Kapwa kaming naka-assign sa operation room sa unang bahagi ng semester. Rotation ang internship namin pero so far, pareho kaming nag-eenjoy sa OR.

"Tin, may sasabihin pala ako," sabi ni Sonia nang makalabas na kami ng hospital.

"Hmm?"

She bites her lip, looking at me as if considering her words. "Nakita mo na ba yung article-"

"Yeah," putol ko sa sasabihin niya.

"Tin-,"

Umiling ako at binigyan siya ng tipid na ngiti. "It's fine, Son."

Umungos siya. "No, it's not!" angal niya. "You should-"

"Ayan na si Mang Tonio," putol ko sa sasabihin niya. "See you sa school next week?"

She lets out an exasperated sigh before nodding and hugging me.

Agad na tumalikod ako at pumasok sa kotse.

"Hello, manong," bati ko.

"Good evening 'po ma'am," ganti niya bago nagsimulang mag-drive. "Sa bahay na 'po ang derecho natin?"

It has been almost a month since I last saw Leyton. He didn't even spend the night at the house after our fight in the pool area.

Kinabukasan ay nagsiratingan sina Manang Linda at Manang Elsie. Dumating naman pagka hapon si Maning Tonio, asaw ni Manang Elsie. Kapwa silang nasa trenta anyos habang si Manang Linda naman ay nasa kwarenta na. Matagal na raw sila sa pamilya nila Leyton na siya ring nagpapa-aral sa mga anak nila.

It has been just us since then.

Dumaan si Silver matapos ang isang linggo para kunin ang naiwang gamit niya bago siya bumalik ng France. She told me Leyton was staying at his penthouse and asked if I was okay. She gave me a sad smile and hugged me tight before she went to the airport. "Don't give up on him just yet." bulong niya pa sa'kin.

How can I give up on him when he gave up on me?

And it was entirely my fault. I was too proud and ashamed of my feelings for him and instead of confronting them, I took it out on him. Blamed him.

The house felt more complete when it was just the two of us. I sometimes imagine him watching me, too.

One week before my classes started, I began planting my vegetables before I got too busy. Para dilig at bungkal nalang ang gagawin ko.

Someone delivered several sacks of loam soil which is the best soil for planting. There were packets of vegetable seeds and gardening materials, too.

Alam ko na si Leyton ang nagpadala 'non at agad na pinigilan ko ang sarili na kiligin. He just probably thought he owed me or something.

Tinulungan ako ni Mang Tonio na gawin ang dalawang plant bed sa garden. Sa kasalukayan ay medyo tumubo na pareho ang kalabasa at talong ko. My cabbages looked healthy too. Pero inaalagan ko pa ang mga kamatis. I was also thinking of adding carrots and onion chives.

"Ay, Manong. Pwede ba tayong dumaan sa mall sandali? May bibilhin lang ako sa plant market," sabi ko.

Tumango si manong at niliko ang SUV papuntang mall. Medyo nahirapan pa kaming mag-park. Na-miss ko bigla ang Jimny ko na napakadaling hanapan ng parking.

Still wearing my navy blue scrubs, I tied my hair into a ponytail before grabbing my phone and wallet.

Dumerecho ako sa plant market at kumuha ng mga buto. Na-in love ako sa isang twenty-year old bonsai tree na nakita ko kaya binili ko rin 'yon. Imagine the hands that cared for this tree.

I went out of the store with a satisfied smile.

Dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa fourth floor kung nasaan ang mga restaurants. Bibilhan ko sila manang ng donuts. Pinatikim ko sila minsan ng paborito kong donuts na nagustuhan din nila.

I walked, my eyes scanning through each restaurants. I frowned when I can't seem remember where it was. I mean, maaalala ko pag nakita ko pero nakalimutan ko ang pangalan.

I glanced to my left and froze when I saw Leyton's side profile from the glass window of an expensive looking restaurant. Bumilis ang kabog ng dibdib ko nang makita ko ang kasama niyang babae. Magkaharap sila sa mesa at kapwa nakatingin sa menu habang nakatayo sa gilid ang isang waiter.

The girl pointed at the menu and said something before she laughed making Leyton smile.

I felt like someone was choking me. Ramdam ko ang pamumutla ko.

As if feeling my stare, Leyton started to turn his head to where I was and I immediately turned my back.

I walked fast, desperate to escape.

I almost expected him to follow me. Hoping that he saw me. But I was able to make it to the parking lot without him chasing me.

Kasabay ng pagpasok ko ng sasakyan ang pagtulo ng luha ko.

"Okay ka lang, ma'am?" tanong ni Manong Tonio habang nakatingin sakin sa salamin ng sasakyan.

Tumikhim ako. "O-Oo, manong. Na-allergy lang ako sa dami ng bulaklak," palusot ko.

He started to drive and I looked outside, still processing what I saw.

Leyton was not in his usual work clothes. He wore a casual pale blue polo shirt and the girl looked like she was wearing a dress. She was pretty too and she didn't look like she was wearing a lot of make-up. Simple. Almost like me.

I did it.

I made him do it.

I told him to do it.

My eyes burn.

I know he was doing it deliberately when his face started to appear online. Always with someone. I knew he did it intentionally because he never had pictures online. I know because I stalked him before.

But seeing him smile at her. No camera. No pretenses, whatsoever...I felt my heart squeezed painfully.

Maya-maya ay nag-ring ang telepono ni Mang Tonio.

I was leaning my head against the seat, my head turned to the side but I immediately perked up when Mang Tonio answered.

"Hello, sir?....Opo sir..........sa Leviste Mall po sa Makati.......Nandito ho.....Opo pauwi na ho kami....Sige sir salamat."

Walang sinabi si Manong matapos niyang ibaba ang telepono pero alam kong siya ang tumawag sa kanya.

Never niyang tinawagan si Manong Tonio kapag nasa sasakyan ako.

Did he see me? Is that why he called all of a sudden?

I know they were talking about me. Base sa sagot ni Manong ay parang tinanong niya kung nasaan ako.

He couldn't have seen me though. Even if he saw my back, there was no way he'd recognize me because he had never seen me wearing a scrubs suit before.

Agad na bumaba ako ng kotse at pumasok sa bahay bago tuloy-tuloy na pumanhik sa kwarto.

Gently putting the paper bag with the bonsai tree on the floor, I headed to the bathroom and took off my clothes before showering where I cried the way I could not when I was in the car.

Nang wala ng luhang lumabas sa mata ko ay nagpunas na ako ng katawan at nagbihis ng pajama at camisole blouse bago pumasok sa kwarto.

Maingat na nilabas ko sa paper bag ang bonsai tree at nilapag sa ibabaw ng isang bedside table ko. Bukas ay hahanapan ko ito ng lugar sa labas.

Tumanggi akong kumain nang tinawag ako nila manang. My last meal was Brunch with Sonia at 10 am. I should feel hungry but my mind was still reeling from earlier.

I kept replaying the smile he gave her.

Wala sa loob na minasahe ko ang dibdib ko para ibsan ang kirot na nararamdaman ko. I only realized that I had feelings for my husband after driving him away from.

Tumunog ang phone ko.

SONIA: Beshie, coffee tomorrow? E-maneho mo naman ako!

Napangiti ako sa text niya.

TINA: Haha oo ba pero hindi pwede bukas, wedding anniversary ng magulang ni Leyton, remember?

SONIA: Awtsuuu. Am sad!!

TINA: Bawi ako :*

SONIA: Heh! Love you!!

I closed my eyes and thought of the dress and shoes Silver's assistant sent last week.

He will be there tomorrow.

And I'm not sure I'm ready to face him yet.

--------------

My hair was braided loosely, my makeup turned up to be natural except for the minimal cat eyeliner. The makeup artist did a great job concealing my eyebags, too.

The one-shoulder turqoise maxi dress made me look taller than my 5'3 height. The slit exposed my legs when I walk.

Silver face-timed me and excitedly gushed about her design on me. Tinanong niya din kung konportable ang heels na pinili niya para sa akin. She said she couldn't come home because of her deadlines. We said our goodbyes after talking for several minutes.

Pasado alas-singko na ng hapon nang umalis kami ng bahay.

The venue is at their private resort in Rizal with an exquisite view of the entire city.

My heartbeat halted when I saw Leyton at the entrance. He was wearing a Khaki colored tuxedo and his hair was styled elegantly.

Bumilis ang t***k ng puso ko nang hininto ni Manong Tonio ang sasakyan sa harap niya.

Mang Tonio unlocked the door when Leyton reached for the door.

I slowly got out of the car. My knees shook and I wobbled on my heels, making Leyton pull me back to him. I shivered slightly as I processed him touching me for the first time in a month.

I involuntarily inhaled his familiar perfume before composing myself.

"Thank you," mahinang sambit ko habang nakatingin sa baba.

"You're welcome," sagot niya at binitawan ang braso ko.

My heart sank and I looked at his face for the first time since the last time I saw him.

He briefly looks me up and down, his eyes blank.

I instantly felt disappointed. He didn't like how I looked.

"H-hi," alanganing sabi ko ng ibalik niya ang mata sa mukha ko.

His lips quirked formally. "Hi, yourself," then he offered his arm. I almost allowed myself to be happy by the gesture but then he said, "Smile for the camera, wife."

With my heart in my throat, I smiled shakily as cameras flashed from left to right. I hoped I didn't look awkward there.

Leyton started to walk to the main event. The party was garden-themed with fairy lights and flowers decorated so beautifully. Two long tables and chairs face each other while there is a short rectangular table placed in front.

Agad na nakilala ko ang ibang malalaking personalidad sa larangan ng negosyo at pulitika. I think I also saw one of the most famous dermatologist sought by celebrities.

They gathered in groups, each forming their own circle with drinks in their hands and chitchatting amongst each other.

Iginiya ako ni Leyton sa isang pahabang mesa sa pinaka harap na may apat na upuan.

Nabasa ko ang pangalan naming dalawa at ng magulang niya.

Did we really have to sit in front with his parents?

Leyton dropped my hands from his arm unceremoniously.

"The program is starting soon, sit here," bruskong sabi niya.

He then turned his back and left as if he couldn't wait to get away from me.

I swallowed the thickness in my throat and averted my gaze.

Napalingon ako sa gilid nang nakarining ako ng tawa.

One of Leyton's friends stood there with a drink in his hand. Katulad ni Calum, bahagyang nakilala ko siya. He was Leyton's best man.

"Asshole as always, your husband," he said in an almost playful tone.

Except, his face is almost too intimidating to match his tone. There was a permanent nonchalance in his eyes that people wouldn't miss even when he smiled. Leyton had a resting 'grumpy' face while his friend's was just...cold and empty.

"Reid," he introduced himself when I didn't answer and offered his hand to me.

Bahagyan nakapulupot ang sleeves niya hanggang sa siko at kitang-kita ang tatoos niya sa mula sa pulso hanggang lagpas siko.

"I'm Tina," sagot ko bago tinanggap ang kamay niya.

He shakes it briefly before letting it go.

"You want a drink?" tanong nito kalaunan.

Umiling ako. "It's not good for my liver." Sagot ko na ikinatawa niya.

"Ah, I forgot you're going to be a nurse. You can probably talk some sense to our other friend, Calum, as well," he said in a conversational friendly tone.

"Is he addicted?" Nagtatakang tanong ko.

Calum looked like a cheerful guy. Hindi ko maiisip na mahilig siyang maglasing.

He shrugged and made a noncommital noise, unwilling to share more.

This guy seemed similar to Leyton. They almost had the same brooding aura.

Except his friend is here with me and he's not.

"How's the married life going?" he asked in a disinterested tone.

I mentally roll my eyes, wanting to be done with the conversation.

I appreciated his small talk but he's too detached to make a decent conversation.

"It's going," I responded in a bored tone, matching his energy.

They're wrong if they think they can play with me.

He regarded me for a second as if seeing me for the first time before shaking his head. "I told him this was a bad idea."

"What is a bad idea?" kunot-noong tanong ko.

Hindi siya sumagot, sa halip ay nakangising tiningnan ang king sino mang ang nasa likod ko.