Too Late?

Insecurities

I follow Justin to the kitchen ready to be yelled at. We normally do not have multiple fights in a day, so this will definitely be a day to remember.

"Why is he like that?" Justin looked more frustrated than annoyed. He is pacing back and forth, until stopping to look at me. I miss seeing his smile, his white shirt is pulling out those blue eyes that I have grown fond of. I wish he could just feel more confident about our relationship when it comes to Max.

"He just wants us to all hang out, and as for the parents thing just forget about it. You know my parents like you and are happy that I have you with me." A lie that I hope he buys. Or at least lies to me that he buys it. God, I have to study, and I know that this is definitely not going to be a good study session. Since it is already not going great, it should be fine if I stalled studying for an extra 15 minutes. I pull him closer to me and tip toe to grab his forehead to touch mine and whisper, "Why don't we go upstairs for a break, and take our minds off studying."

His smile is all I need, to know that he agrees with me. Lately, we haven't been able to be any kind of intimate, and I am thinking that we might need this. Justin is waiting till I am ready to actually go all the way but, being eighteen and very popular in school, people just expect that he has done it. When we first met, I remember thinking he was going to dump me because of it. To my surprise, he was understanding and thought the same way I did.

We enter Justin's room that he uses when he stays, which is often, especially now with school back up, he crashes here when they have late practices and doesn't want to drive all the way home. He is kissing me while taking off my shirt. I start reaching for his when we reach the bed, I push him down and straddle over him. Everything feels so easy with him. His arms are wrapped around me while gripping my sides, he turns us to our sides and pulls away. He is staring in my eyes slowly tracing the top of my breast teasing around my bra. I am looking right back at him unbuttoning his jeans, so I can slide my hand down his pants.

"How did I get so lucky with you? We are going to have everything one day," Justin says while moving his hand down to grip my ass, pulling me so close to him.

My heart feels happy when he talks like this, it makes me believe that if he loves me this much it has to be real, and maybe I will get there too. I am about to open my mouth when the door swings open, revealing Megan.

"Oh s**t sorry guys, Peter said to come get y'all," she says while closing the door.

"We will be right there!" I giggle to her. Justin sits up changing his mood a bit, but seems better than when he stormed into the kitchen. I turn, grabbing the back of his head and kiss him, opening my mouth and letting his tongue find mine. When I finally separate from him my lips feel sad and lonely, wanting that feeling again. I remind him how much I care for him, but that math is too important right now. He shakes his head, gets adjusted and we head downstairs.

The living room is large, and open the couches have room for everyone, plus our school work. I am sitting back in my spot when Max, who has not even looked at me since I came back downstairs, whispers, "I can't wait to punish you for what you were doing up there when we get home." Chills go down my back as he rubs circles on my lower back.

After we are done, I am surprised I was able to even sit there when I kept thinking about Max, how he sat there, laughed as if nothing was wrong, hell even taught formulas that I am for sure going to have to relearn them when I get home. Plus why would he think he is going home with me?

I am packing up my stuff when Max announces he is taking me home, Justin is rolling his eyes and I am surprised he doesn't tell Max he is out of his mind.

"Actually bro, I'm taking Annika home, but thanks for the offer." Justin says while grabbing my bag from me.

"Peter thanks again for letting us study here, and taking Megan home. I will see you guys tomorrow!" I give them hugs bye and debate about giving Max a hug, deciding to do it because then it would be weird. I hug him, his grip is tight on me and I can smell a foresty scent on him. I close my eyes and force myself to let go, not forgetting where we are at. He grips me a bit longer only to whisper that he will be seeing me tonight. I look at him and breathed out slowly, telling him goodnight.

On the way home, Justin is unusually quiet, I finally break the silence by asking if he is alright. He is so beautiful to look at I always tell him he could have a career in modeling one day, he thinks im joking when I know I'm not. He holds up my hand to kiss it, then asks me something that makes my stomach knot.

"Have you and Max ever crossed the line of just friends?" He is looking at the road when he asks this, but I know his mind is solely in this conversation.

"No, why would you ask that? I told you he was my best friend growing up, until you had to leave. When he got sent away it was different though we lost touch." I am hoping this is the end of it, but he begins to tell me that it just seems like there is this vibe he is getting from Max, that he doesn't know where it is coming from.

"You know he is always around you. Every time I look for you, it's like he beat me to you." he says this low so I am not sure if he is just adding this before we end the conversation. I decide on talking back.

"We are not always together, he has some of my classes and this is the first week of school so I am sure he hasn't made very much friends yet, remember we were all we had growing up." I was not technically lying we did have each other, but we also had other friends it's just we preferred each others company over any one elses.

"Just remember he got sent away for fighting and I want you to becareful. You don't know what that place did to him and you said it yourself he seems different." He says flatly, I try to ignore the anger the statement makes me feel. Max would never hurt me and even having that thought in my head feels horrible.

We finally get home and I see that my parents are home, so I sit in the car a little longer with Justin rather then going inside with him. Sometimes my parents can be a tad too much and with my temper already going up I choose peace tonight. After a 5 minutes of begging I finally give in to going to watch a drive in movie on Saturday with Justin. We kiss goodnight and I head in to get ready for bed.

My parents must be asleep already, they tend to do their own thing. When I get out of the shower, I notice my phone has been moved. Then see a pair of shoes in my room, I'm not alone.