Sacrificing My Happiness For His

Chapter 1

PRESENT DAY…

Siara

“Did you hear? Mason is finally back for good.”

“I know, I can’t wait to see him, he’s gorgeous. Pack meetings are going to be so much more interesting now that he’ll be in charge.”

“Yeah, it’ll be hard to pay attention to what he’s saying, when all I’ll be doing is staring at his gorgeous green eyes.”

Listening to the two teen girls talk about my mate as they shop without going over to them and ripping their throats out is a challenge, but I control myself and my wolf. What they’re saying is true. Mason is coming back and no ones more excited about that than me. Our relationship has changed a lot over the past four years. We didn’t talk as often as we planned because it was too hard for me to hear his voice and not want to tell him about us being mates. I’m the one who pulled back, and I’m sure he was uncertain as to why, but it was the only way I could stay strong.

We haven’t talked in the past six months, but before we stopped he was starting to get upset about not finding his mate. He couldn’t understand why she wasn’t appearing, and hearing the pain in his voice is what had me making the decision to pull back.

I’m looking forward to ending that pain tonight and can’t wait for the pack meeting. After he’s accepted as the new Alpha, I plan on getting him alone and telling him I’m his mate. 

After searching the racks of our small town boutique, I find a cute black lace top that fits nicely and pair it with some light blue skinny’s. I find a gray over throw that hits mid thigh and finish off the look with a pair of killer ankle boots. At the register I grab a cute pair of silver hoop earrings, pay, and head home.

My house is a short distance down from the pack house. It belongs to the Beta of the pack which is the title my dad held until his passing a year ago when it was handed down to me.which was the beta’s house. This makes my mating with Mason that much better. The training I’ve had for my new role will prepare me to take on that of the Luna which is what I’ll become once we mate. A vote will be made after to decide who the new Beta will be.

I run upstairs to my room and throw my purchases on the bed before heading to the bathroom for a hot shower. When I’m done, I blow dry my hair, straighten it, and let it fall in a shiny curtain down my back. I get dressed, put on my jewelry which includes a simple pink and white friendship bracelet that Mason gave me when we were thirteen. He has a matching blue and white one. I wonder if he still has his and if it gave him the same comfort it did me while he was away. 

A familiar male voice calls out to me from downstairs, interrupting my thoughts, “Siara, you ready yet?”

“Yeah Phillip, I’ll be right down!” 

Phillip is the best friend I made while Mason was away. He came here about a year after Mason left. His mate rejected him and he sought a change of life with our pack. He knows all about my mate situation and thinks I’m crazy for doing it. 

I run downstairs to greet the six foot blond haired, blue eyed god that I have no romantic feelings for what so ever. It’s a shame, really, because he’s hot! Alas, I only have eyes for one wolf and I’m on my way to see him. 

We walk to the pack house, my stomach full of butterflies. I’m finally going to see Mason in person and confess everything. To say I’m excited is an understatement, but I’m also a little afraid. I hope he won’t be mad at me for keeping this from him.

When we get to the house it’s already full with pack members, so we’re forced to remain in the back for now. There’s a murmur of voices as everyone converses quietly with one another. Suddenly my body tingles and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

That can only mean one thing.

My mate is here.

I look in the direction my wolf senses him and there he is, standing beside his mother and father looking just like the Mason I remember but with a more manly definition to his face and body. What was once slim and toned, is now bulky and muscled. He really bulked up, not too much so where it looks as if he’s on steroids, but enough to let anyone know they won’t stand a chance in a fight against him. He’s wearing a pair of faded jeans and a black henley that molds to his body perfectly. His hair is wet most likely from the shower he must’ve taken to wash the long trip away. 

My wolf is raring to go and claim our mate and I have to remind her we need to get through the meeting first. It would be wrong to run and mount the poor unsuspecting man in front of our whole pack.

Mason’s dad, and current Alpha, makes his way to the center of the big meeting room and calls everyone to attention. He’s a striking man, I imagine Mason will look like him when he ages. He’s very intimidating and a great leader. He and my father were always close, the best of friends. Alpha Steven is like a second father to me, and I can’t wait till he knows that Mason and I are mates. He confessed to me that he secretly wished we were and it took a whole lot of self control on my part not to let him know the truth. As everyone quiets, I study the happy woman next to him, Mason’s mother. She isn’t as tall as the two men next to her, but what she lacks in height, she makes up for in personality. She’s a fireball, and very much respected in our pack. She’s also a big mama bear and will take whoever she can under her motherly wing. I’m lucky enough to be one of those. She smiles radiantly at her son, obviously glad to have him home.

“Thank you all for coming! As you know, my son has finished his college education, and has come home to take his place as Alpha. However, he has requested that I hold the position for a short while more so he can tend to a personal matter first before taking this big step. In fact, he wants to share his news with all of you,” Alpha Steven informs us all.

I’m utterly confused. What personal matter could have come up? 

Just then, I meet his eyes across the room and see his familiar smile bloom across his face, but there’s more to it. It’s filled with love and tenderness. Am I the personal matter he needs to tend to? Did he somehow find out we were mates all on his own?

My nerves are electrified, and I feel the excitement surge through my body as he speaks. “As most of you must know, I haven’t found my mate yet. It has been hard on me, what Alpha wouldn’t long for his Alpha Female? That has all changed for me because I finally found a mate I can call my own.”

There are quiet murmurs throughout the crowd. 

My heartbeat accelerates! he does know! He’s going to accept me in front of our pack and make me the happiest she wolf alive.

Everyone quiets as he raises his hand palm up aiming it in my direction and says, “Everyone, I would like to introduce you to my mate by choice. Honey, come on up here.”

I smile with tears in my eyes, I can’t believe this is happening! I start to take a step forward when Phillips’ hand on my arm stops me. Turning to face him, I see worry and sadness in his eyes. Why would he feel that way knowing how long I’ve waited for this to happen. Then with a nod of his head, he gestures for me to look at the entrance behind us.

When I do, I see a brunette who oddly resembles me. Her hair is shorter, only reaching her shoulders where mine now ends at my waist. Our facial features are very similar but our eyes are different. Where mine are a deep brown, hers are a golden hazel. She also wears more makeup than I would ever dare being I prefer a more natural look. It in no way takes away from her beauty though.. I hate to admit it but she’s gorgeous. Is this the mate that rejected Phillip? I plan on talking some sense into her if it is.

That possibility is slashed with Mason’s next words.

“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my fiance and future Alpha Female, Chloe Landers.”

The dagger to my heart pierces deep. 

This can’t be happening! I’m his mate! 

We’re supposed to be together!

I watch as if in a void of sound as she walks up and into his embrace before they turn as one unit to face the crowd of pack members looking like the perfect Alpha couple.

“I gave up hope of finding my mate, and was blessed with Chloe. She lost her mate when her pack was attacked by a rival pack. We bonded through our pain, hers of loss and mine of loneliness. I’ve chosen her as my mate and I hope once you get to know her, you will all understand why. We plan to marry within the month, and after we are wedded I will mark her as mine and take my place as your Alpha,” Mason says proudly.

As his words reach my ears, it feels as if my wolf is dying inside and I lose some of the strength I need to hold myself up. Luckily Phillip is there to support me.

Mason’s words replay in my mind, ‘I’ve chosen her’, ‘We plan to marry’, ‘I will mark her as mine’.

The pain is unbearable!. I gave up my chance of immediate happiness, so that he could take his journey alone. To find he’s planned a future with someone else makes my sacrifice seem empty and pointless.. I risk another look at the happy couple and can see the love they share. He used to look at me that way, even though we were just friends.

It seems I’ve been replaced, as a best friend, and a mate.

My chest burns, there’s a hole where my heart should be pumping. My breaths are uneven. I need to get out of here before I cause a scene and no one but Phillip will understand why. I just have to hold out for the congratulations to begin so I can make my escape.

Mason speaks once again and breaks me at the core. “Chloe is now my best friend, my life, and soon my mate in every sense of the word. I wouldn’t want anyone else but her.”

Any hope my wolf might have had of convincing him to give Chloe up is lost in that moment. He may not have bonded with her physically, but in his mind and heart they’re already one. 

How can we compete with that? To tell him now, to kiss him, will make him ours by force. Not by choice. I sacrificed myself once for him, will I be able to do it again? Would I want to? How much longer can I manage to play the martyr?

Just then he turns in my direction, this time making eye contact with me. The happiness I see in his eyes is evident. Chloe does that for him, she brings joy to his life. What kind of mate would I be if I took that away. I try to return the smile he sends my way, but I know it’s a tear filled one. His brows furrow in confusion, and he examines Phillips arm around my shoulders as he helps to keep me standing.

An unreadable expression crosses Mason’s features causing Phillip to tense and say, “Interesting.” I don’t understand what that little observation is about, and honestly, there are too many emotions going on inside of me to question it right now.

Mason and Phillip are still locked in a staring match when Chloe tugs on his arm, effectively breaking it. He shakes himself before smiling indulgently at her, and then Alpha Steven starts off the congratulations as everyone follows.

It’s now my moment to make an escape. I quickly, but discreetly, make my way to the exit. I can feel Phillip hot on my heels. I need to go for a run.

I have to run off the pain.

The lost future I planned for us.

I need to harden my heart so that I can continue to fulfill duties as Beta of the pack.

As much as I want to leave and never return, that isn’t an option. I’ve never been a selfish person, and that’s exactly what I’d be if I were to leave my pack to run from a future of my own making.

I run in a flash toward the surrounding woods, dropping clothes as I go and jumping in the air, shifting into my white wolf, before landing on all fours and taking off. I sense Phillip doing the same and look behind me to see his Sandy wolf hot on my heels. I push myself harder, heading for the waterfall that I found shortly after Mason left. Phillip knows I go there when I’m sad, and follows behind me while trying to give me some space.

Once I reached the grassy opening, I collapse near the edge of the waterfall and let the mist coat my body. I lay with my head on my paws and weep for all that I’ll be giving up. It’s easier for me to cry in wolf form than human, that way I can hide the effects of my break down when it comes time to return to the celebration that is most likely happening right now.

Phillip lays down next to me and rests his head on mine, giving me some much needed comfort.

“You need to tell him, Siara. He needs to know you are his mate, so that he can end things with this Chloe girl.” 

“I can’t, you saw how happy he was. If I tell him we’re mates, he will have to give her up. His wolf will make him. Why would I want to do that if she makes him happy? That’s the whole reason I gave him up to begin with.”

“He can have that happiness with you. You can’t keep this from him. It will hurt the both of you. You planned on telling him when he came home, do it.”

“That’s changed. I won’t do it. He’s found love with her as his mate, all I ever wanted for him was to have that. It just can’t be with me.”

“You are too damn stubborn. This is pointless, mates are supposed to be together. He feels something for you, Siara. He got all territorial when he saw my arms around you. His wolf senses you are near, even if he can’t recognize you without a kiss.”

“Then, I’ll just have to keep my distance.”

“Great plan, except for one tiny detail. You’re the Beta of this pack and will have to work closely with him. You are also his best friend, you can’t just cut him off.”

“Actually didn’t you hear him? Chloe is his best friend now,” I sneer allowing myself a moment to be petty. “I don’t plan on cutting him off. I just won’t spend any more time with him than necessary.”

“You know I love you, Siara, but you’re being really dumb right now. Trust me, this is all going to blow up eventually. Fate has chosen you for each other, there’s no controlling fate.”

“I’ve done it once, I can do it again. I’ve told you before, I’d do anything for Mason, even break my own heart.”

With that we lapse into a tension filled silence.

I know Phillip won’t say anything to Mason, he’s loyal to the core and will take my secret to the grave, but that won’t stop him from pestering me to confess.

I just hope I have enough strength in me to hold him off and keep up a façade to hide the constant pain I’m sure I’ll be feeling.

Now I need to put my acting skills to the test, at least until Mason marries and marks Chloe, effectively breaking our bond and ending my life.

Seeing as Mason is all I have left to live for, that’s not such a bad outcome.