Sacrificing My Happiness For His

FOUR YEARS AGO… I have the most incredible Mate! I’m so excited to tell him that we’re mates, we already have such a great relationship with each other that I know it will work out perfectly. With the struggle life has given me so far, this is finally a bright spot in all the darkness. I see him on the football field no doubt going over drills with the coach and some other players. He’s gorgeous! Tall at six feet three inches with a model perfect body, just enough muscles to nicely fill out any shirt without being too outrageous, and long legs that support his build well. His black hair is sweaty and has a bit of helmet head, but it only adds to his appeal. He glances my way and those green orbs shoot electricity straight through my body from head to toe. He smiles and I practically melt into the ground. It’s strange to see my best friend in this new light. We’ve been friends since our diaper days, heck, we used to shower together.  As he turns back to the coach, I feel a tinge of uncertainty. Will he be happy that we’re mates? I’ve always thought of myself as average. Straight brown shoulder length hair, tiny figure with medium sized breasts, boring brown eyes, little button nose, and full lips. My one standout quality will have to be my killer legs, though. My stems support all five feet eight inches of me and look really good in a pair of heels, when I bother to wear them that is. Comfort over beauty has always been my motto. Is that enough to hold his attention? Girls are always fawning all over him, he’s been with his fair share of them and is a bit of a man w***e, but he’s never mean or degrading to any of the girls he’s with. He always makes sure they know beforehand that it’s a no strings situation. I’d like to think our friendship has a lot to do with how he treats girls. Growing up together has allowed him to see into the mind of a female and the things we go through both physically and emotionally. He’s always watching out for me when it comes to guys, making sure they treat me right. Just another piece of evidence that proves how amazing he is. I worry myself over it a little more before realizing that no matter what he thinks of my appearance, we’re best friends. He’s seen me at my best and worst and hasn’t left my side. My hope is that once our mating begins he’ll develop romantic feelings as well as the friendly ones he has now. I take a minute to curse the fates for the way this whole mate thing works. We aren’t able to find our mates until our eighteenth birthday, and then it’s the girl who first realizes it by picking up her mates scent. Then once we find it, and our eyes meet for the first time after discovering our other halves, a jolt hits the she wolfs heart. The male wolf won’t know until a kiss is shared. This allows the she wolf to be the aggressor in the beginning, and the male his turn after their mating has begun. As these thoughts run through my mind I continue to watch him on the field. He smiles even brighter after his coach hands him a piece of paper and I suddenly wish he could be the aggressor now. My palms are sweaty and my heart is racing a mile a minute as he runs my way, the smile still cemented on his face. Quick as a flash he’s in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he picks me up and swings me around. “Siara, you’ll never guess what news I just got!” Mason shouts with excitement. “No, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me,” I say with a laugh. He places me back on the ground, handing me the paper saw his coach give him. “Read that,” he instructs, indicating the paper in my hands. I smile indulgently and start to read. The letter head is The University of southern California with the Trojan logo, “Dear Mr. Myers, we are happy to inform you that you’ve been chosen to receive a full four year scholarship to play football for the University of Southern California…” I squeal as I read it. I jump into his arms once more, throwing mine around his neck and congratulating him over and over while we laugh in joy together. We both stop suddenly, realizing how close our faces are. He looks intently into my eyes, our lips only inches apart and I know all it will take is for me to close those few inches between us and seal our fate. We both lean forward, as if drawn to each other, before the words I just read hit me with a sudden realization. Mason has just been accepted to a college thousands of miles away and ten times different from our small town of Wolf Falls. This is the opportunity of a lifetime for him to get an amazing education and play the sport he loves so much at a collegiate level, before he has to take on the responsibilities of Alpha that his dad will be passing down to him after his twenty second birthday.  He’ll be leaving, but I won’t be able to go with him. My father is slowly dying of a broken heart after losing my mom a short time ago. I have already decided to receive my college education online because losing me, even if it were to my college of choice USC, would be putting the final nail in my father’s coffin. I just lost my mother, I refuse to lose my father as well. If I let our mating begin, I’ll be holding him back from something that makes him so completely happy. I remember the joy and excitement he had on his face when he first approached me. If we mate, his bond to me won’t allow him to leave, he will always be missing me.  Knowing what I have to do kills me inside and tears my heart to shreds. I’m going to have to give up my mate so he can take this journey. Stepping away abruptly, I shake myself out of the daze I’m in and watch him do the same with a puzzled expression on his face unsure of what just happened. Putting on my most convincing smile I say, “I’m so happy for you, Mason, you totally deserve this. You are seriously a star on the football field and I’m glad someone saw that.” His smile returns. Seeing my mate, the boy I have loved unconditionally even before I knew he was my mate, so happy freezes the tears that want to fall at the pain of giving him up. “Thanks, Siara. Even if you weren’t here when I found out, I would‘ve looked for you. There’s no one else I want to share this news with first. You’re my best friend and I love you.” Hearing the three words he’s always said to me hurt for the first time, because I love him too. Only now, it’s much deeper than the love of a friend and I can’t tell him that. “I love you too, Masey Bear,” I coo, effectively hiding the pain and sadness that’s warring inside of me. “So you haven’t told your mom and dad yet then?”  “Nope. I’m going to grab a quick shower. Can you wait for me and come to my house while I tell them? I want the three people who mean the most to me to be there when we celebrate.” His sweet words are daggers to my already wounded heart, but I smile bravely and say, “Of course I will.” “Ok, great!” He kisses me on the cheek before running into the locker room. Once the door shuts, I lean against the nearest wall and slump to the ground. My heart aches knowing I have to hold all the love I feel for Mason within. I’m doing the right thing for him. I have to keep telling myself that. Though why does the right thing have to hurt so much? “We should be with our mate,” my wolf argues with me. “I know that, but this is what’s best for the human part of Mason. In the end, this will make his wolf happy as well.” I reply in my mind. “No it won’t. All he wants is to be mated and take over the pack.” “Well, too bad. Loving someone sometimes requires sacrifice, and I’m willing to make this sacrifice for him. It’s only for now, once he has his life experiences he will come back, then we can be together.” “Yeah, but think about all the girls he’ll have been with while he’s gone. How are we supposed to handle that. I want my mate, I don’t care about college. Go and get him!” “This is how it has to be. Deal with it.” “You are going against our nature and I don’t like it. We are supposed to meet, mate, and procreate. Then care for our pack and those in it. None of this nonsense should even matter. These human emotions always get in the way. Why would you willingly want us to hurt? it doesn’t make sense to me.” “I know it doesn’t because you think like a wolf, but this is what needs to happen. If I let Mason know of our mate bond, he will stay and could end up regretting it. Do you want our mate to regret us?” “His wolf would never regret us.” “True, but his human would and that’s half of who he is. Could you bear the look of resentment on his face on a daily basis?” My wolf is silent for a while before finally speaking. “I guess I understand where you’re coming from, that doesn’t mean I like what you’re doing. I’ll only agree to cooperate with you if you promise to tell him as soon as he gets back. You’re going to need my strength to get through the next four years, and pissing me off won’t make it easy.” “I promise, thank you.” A grunt is all I receive in return. My wolf is right though, I have to build up a wall around my heart if I want any hope of surviving the next four years without my mate and best friend. I know we’ll still talk and see each other from time to time, but it can’t be too often or I might not be able to resist the pull I have toward him.  It will be excruciating at times but I’ll do it. For Mason. And when the four years are over, I plan on running into his arms and kissing him for all I’m worth.