In Between The Lines

Kabanata I

Mural

Lauren

Tita was right. Some of her friends liked my paintings. Kahit sa pictures ko lang sila pinakita ay nagustuhan na ng mga ito. I took pictures of it on my phone and sent it to Tita so she could show them to her friends.

“I told you, hija. Your works are incredible! Kahit bata ka pa lang ay magaganda na ang mga nagiging pieces mo.” I answered her call secretly in my room. I was having dinner with Mama when she called.

“Thank you, Tita. I really appreciate what you did.”

Tinapos ko na agad ang tawag dahil baka maghinala pa si Mama. Bumaba na rin ako sa kusina para ipagtuloy ang pagkain.

A week from now, pasukan na. Kumpleto na ang mga gamit ko. I was able to buy what I needed because of my paintings. Meron na rin akong naipon at kapag lumaki na iyon ay ibibigay ko na kay Mama. I was able to make six thousand just by three small paintings alone. I'm still thinking of creating larger output so it could cost more when I sell.

Tita Lyra:

I have a friend who wants to hire a painter. She wants to paint her garden wall. I was wondering if you could do murals?

I was done with dinner when Tita messaged me.

Mural is a large painting done by walls, ceilings or other permanent structures. With the right equipment, I could do that. It’s like painting on canvas.

Tita Lyra:

She’s willing to pay a big amount, hija. I told her about you.

Ako:

I could do large artwork, tita. But I have to see her wall and garden first.

Sasamahan ako ni Tita sa bahay ng kaibigan niya. Of course, hindi rin alam ni Mama ito. I just told her na isasama lang ako ni Tita sa mall.

Tinatahak na namin ang isang eksklusibong village sa Batangas City. Namamangha ako sa malalaki at magagandang disensyo ng mga bahay. Hanggang sa tumigil kami sa pinaka nagustuhan kong bahay. Classic and Spanish style ang exterior. Sa gate pa lamang ay natatanaw ko na ang kahabaan ng driveway na may pine trees sa magkabilang gilid.

Awtomatkong nagbukas ng malaking gate at pinasok na tita ang kanyang sasakyan.

“This is not my first time here, hija.” I heard her chuckle. She must have been amused by my reaction when I saw how she drove her car in this driveway like it’s her nth time already.

When we reached the front exterior of the house, I couldn’t help but to drop my jaw. It is a mansion, more like a palace. Sobrang laki at sobrang ganda. Imagine the maintenance they have to preserve this beauty.

“Lyra! I’m so glad you came!” A woman’s gentle voice.

Pagkalabas pa lamang namin ng sasakyan ay agad na siyang niyakap ng magandang babaeng kaedad ni Tita.

“Isadora! I’m with my niece.”

Kumalas ang magandang babae kay Tita at nalipat ang tingin sa akin. Nasa gilid pa rin ako ng sasakyan habang nakapirmi ang aking mga kamay sa aking tagiliran.

“Lauren, come here. Say hi to my friend.” Tita called.

Mabagal ang aking lakad nang lapitan ko ang aking tiyahin. Bahagya niya akong hinila at pinulupot ang kanyang kamay sa aking bewang. Napatingin ako sa babaeng nasa harap namin at nahuhumali talaga ako sa kagandahan nito. Akala ko ay mga bahay lamang dito ang makakapag patameme sa akin. Sa tantya ko ay nasa mid forties na rin ito, kagaya ni Tita Lyra at Tita Lecia. Nangingibabaw pa rin ang kanyang kagandahan.

“Hi Lauren! I’m Isadora, I’m friends with your tita.” She stretched her arms for a handshake. She’s all smiles and her perfectly white teeth compliments her so much.

“G-good day po, Tita Isadora.” My voice stutters. I shook her soft hand as well.

“My, my.. Lyra. What a beautiful girl.” Pagtukoy niya sa akin ngunit kay Tita ang kanyang tingin.

“It’s the genes, Isa.” And they both laugh harmoniously.

Nagkamustahan pa sila hanggang sa magpadesisyonan na magtungo na nga sa garden. Nagpahatid din si Tita Isadora ng meryenda. I roamed my eyes around the whole garden. It’s huge and full of plants and beautiful flowers. My lips parted when I saw the care garden wall. It is literally a huge garden wall painted in white.

Is that what I’m going to paint?

“That’s the garden wall I’m talking about, amiga. I know that it’s huge and it might take time.” It will definitely take a lot of time.

“But you do not need to worry, hija. I’m not rushing you. You can work at your own pace. I will provide everything you need.” I turned to her and she smiled. Assuring me that she will be true to her words.

I can’t back out. I needed the money. Kaya ko naman ngunit hindi ko lang akalain na ganito kalaki ang pipintahan ko.

I smiled at her and my Tita.

“I can start working tomorrow po. Hindi ko po mapapangako na matatapos ko ito ng isang linggo. Papasok po kasi ako sa school sa umaga at sa hapon ko pa po masisimulan pagkatapos ng eskwela.” Litanya ko.

Nagliwanag ang mga maata ni Tita Isadora at napa palakpak ng isang beses dahil sa galak.

“Walang problema, Lauren hija.At nasabi rin sa akin ni Lyra na nililihim mo ito sa nanay mo. Don’t worry, I have it under control.’

Everything is settled, then?

Binigyan ko ng listahan ng mga kagamitang kakailanganin ko sa aking gagawin. I have to set up my mind that it needs to be perfect. Ito ang unang beses kong gagawa ng mural. Nakalagay na rin sa plano ang disenyong gusto ni Tita Isadora. Hindi naman iyon mahirap at nababagay lamang sa kanyang hardin.

Apat na araw bago ang pasukan, bumalik kami ni Mama sa palengke para masukat na ang pinagawa naming uniporme. Maayos na ang haba at hindi naman masyadong hapit sa aking katawan. There’s still much room to grow.

Hindi ako naeexcite sa pasukan ngunit mas naeexcite ako kapag sasapit ang hapon dahil nagpupunta ako sa mansyon ng mga Navarro para sa mural. Hindi ko pa nasisimulan ngunit pinalinis na ni Tita Isadora ang dingding at inalisan ng mga ligaw na d**o ang paligid.

Umaga ng unang araw ng pasukan, iniisip ko kung paano ako makakapunta ng mansyon. Hindi na magiging available si Tita kasi may trabaho na rin ito at minsan ay nagpupunta kina lolo to supervise the palm. Pwede ako mag van papuntang mall pero hindi ko alam kung makakapasok ang tricycle sa loob ng village.

Nawala naman ang aking pagaalala nang magtext si Tita Lyra.

Tita Lyra:

Susunduin ka ng driver ni Isadora pagkatapos ng klase mo. Hintayin mo siya sa labas ng gate ng school. Okay? Magiingat ka. Good luck on your first day! I love you.

Mabuti naman kung ganun. Pero nakakahiya naman sa mga Navarro na nagabala pa sila. Araw araw akong magpupunta sa kanila para gawin ang mural, at araw araw din akong susunduin ng driver.

Kinukumpeto na lamang ang mga magiging kaklase ko at naghihintay sa pagdating ng aming adviser. Maingay ang buong kwarto. Some of them already know each other, most are new and quite like me. I know someone in this school but she’s not from this section. We were classmates in elementary. I just hope that she will visit me during lunch or break time.

This is the first section where all the students who got a high score on the entrance exams are here. And I’m one of them. Hindi ko naman hinihiling pero nandito na rin. Awkward lang kasi wala akong kilala kahit isa sa kanila.

“Settle down, everyone. Take a seat.” Our adviser finally enters the room.

We settled and seated. Sa pinakadulo ako naupo katabi ng bintana para nakikita ko ang labas.

A pretty normal first day of school. Introducing ourselves multiple times with different teachers and subjects. Kind of tiring but at least we didn’t have homework yet.

I spend most of the idle time on my seat. Sabi ng teacher, bukas pa magpapalit ng seating arrangements. I just hope that I will still be overlooking these windows. Ilang oras na lang at matatapos na ang araw na ito. Makakapunta na ako sa mansyon ng mga Navarro para masimulan ang pagpipinta.

“You are Lauren, right?” A boy blocked my view from the window.

Tumaas ang aking kilay habang pinagmamasdan siya. He literally blocked the whole window making his shadow tower me.

“I’m sorry, that was rude of me.” He extended his arm. “I’m Marco. I am Tita Isa’s nephew.”

Napakurap kurap ako. Hindi ko pa rin tinatanggap ang kamay niya.

He then chuckled. Lowering his arm, realizing that I won’t shake that.

“Sinabihan ako ni Tita na isasabay kita sa sasakyan. Papunta ka ng mansyon, diba?”

“O-oo…” Namamaos pa ako.

“So yeah, isasabay na kita. Doon din naman ang bahay namin.” He said.

“Okay…”

He looked at me. Still amused. He extends his arm again in front of me.

“Nice to meet you, Lauren.”

“Nice to meet you too, Marco.” I shook his waiting hand.

That was my first encounter with a stranger in this school. He seemed nice and friendly. Light aura. He returned to his seat just two rows behind me. His other friends also nodded and smiled at me.

My last class for today has ended. Nililigpit ko na ang aking gamit habang ang iba naman ay nagmamadali na sa paglabas ng classroom. Marco and his friends are outside waiting for me to finish and leave.

May tumigil na itim na Subaru sa aming harapan. Binuksan ni Marco ang passenger seat at doon ako pumasok. Doon naman siya naupo sa tabi ng kanyang driver.

“Kuya Benzon, doon po muna tayo kina Tita Isa. Ibababa ko lang si Lauren.” Utos ni Marco sa kanyang driver.

“Sige po, Sir.” Sagot naman nito.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking pagkahiya na kailangan ko pang abalahin ang kaklase ko para lamang mapuntahan ang mansyon ng mga Navarro. Mahihirapan din naman ako na makapasok sa village nila dahil ito ay eksklusibo. Baka kahit ang tricycle na maghahatid lang sa akin sa tapat ay bawal.

Wala din akong choice.

If I will take public transport, mas matatagalan pa ako.

I always expect traffic at this hour. Uwian ng mga estudyante. Pagtatapos ng office hours ng mga nag oopisina. Kaya hindi na rin ako nagulat nang tumagal ng halos trenta minuto ang aming naging byahe.

“Dito rin ba ang bahay nyo?” Tanong ko kay Marco nang nakapasok na kami ng village.

“Oo, malapit lang kina Tita. Minsan ay doon ako tumatambay kapag nandyan ang mga anak niya. Lalo na si Gus.” Sagot nito.

Gas? Sinong tao ang may pangalan na ganoon?

“Gas? Parang tunog gasolina?” Puno ng kyuryoso kong tanong.

Humagalpak si Marco ng tawa dahilan para mapatawa na rin si Kuya Benzon. Kumunot naman ang aking mga kilay dahil iniisip ko kung ano ba ang nakakatawa sa tanong ko.

“Hindi… damn… Augustus Ivan ang pangalan niya. Gus for short.” Nagpipigil pa rin ng tawa.

“Ah okay,”

Tunog mayaman naman pala talaga ang pangalan niya.

“I want to see his reaction when he hears you say that. He’s gonna be mad.” Marco said that to Kuya Benzon.

“Bakit hindi na lang kasi Ivan? Ang pangit naman kasi ng Gus.” Komento ko.

“Ikaw na lang magtanong sa kanya kapag nagkita kayo,” may panunuyang sambit ni Marco. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin sila natatapos sa tawanan.

Nakarating na kami sa harap ng mansyon kaya bumaba na ako ng sasakyan. Lumabas din sila nang makita si Tita Isadora na pababa ng hagdanan. Nagmamadali sa pagbaba para mahalikan sa pisngi ang kanyang pamangkin.

“Maraming salamat po, Kuya Benzon. Pasensya na po sa abala.” Bulong ko sa driver nang makalapit ako sa kanyang tabi.

Naririnig kong nagkakamustaahan sina Marco at Tita Isadora. Matagal din bago nakabalik dito si Marco ayon sa sinabi ng kanyang tiyahin. Kahit ang kanyang mga anak ay naghihintay din daw sa kanya.

“Walang anuman, Ma’am Lauren.” Sambit ni Kuya Benzon sa tabi ko.

Napakurap ako at humarap sa kanya.

“Huwag na po ang Ma’am. Lauren na lang po.” Sumunod ang tipid at nakakahiya kong tawa.

Napakamot ng kanyang batok ang driver habang nahihiyang napapatingin sa akin.

“Sige po. Miss Lauren na lang.”

“She is my classmate, Tita.” I heard Marco say.

That caught my attention. Tita Isadora smiled and extended her arms for me to approach her. I walked until I could reach her cheeks. I gave it a peck and smiled at her.

“Good afternoon, Tita Isa.” I greeted.

“Magsisimula ka na ba sa painting? Pinaayos ko na sa mga tauhan ang mga gamit mo sa garden.”

“Sisimulan ko na po. Magbibihis lang po ako. Baka madumihan po ang uniform ko.”

Nagpataawag siya ng maid para samahan ako sa bathroom para makapagpalit ng aking damit. Before I step, narinig ko na hindi na rin magtatagal pa si Marco kaya hinarap ko ulit sila.

“Thank you again, Marco. See you tomorrow.” I said.

“See you tomorrow, Lauren.” He answered.

I waited for his car to leave before I went inside Tita Isadora’s house. The maid accompanied me to the bathroom to change my clothes. It is Tita’s order to not bother me when I start painting. So everything is already prepared and organized in the garden. They even prepared a long table for all the things I will be using. Accessible and efficient.

I changed my clothes to my denim jumper pants. It has stains from paint, oil and other liquid since I’m using this specific jumper for larger artworks because I tend to make a mess. I paired it with my black fitted shirt and crocs sandals. I feel comfortable and light.

I made my way to the garden and studied the design that I will be making. It is simpler in the middle part and getting extravagant until both sides. If I start doing the middle part, I can adjust the intensity going further.

I approached the wall with my measuring tool. I marked the correct measure of the middle part and the height of the wall. When I’m satisfied, bumalik na ako sa lamesa para maghalo na ng mga pintura. Although I will start by painting the whole wall in white after the primer. Pinaghilera ko ang mga nabuo ko nang kulay ayon sa pagkakasunod ng paggamit ko.

With the big paint roller, I dipped it in white paint.

“Lauren, meryenda?” Napatigil ako sa aking ginagawa nang dumating ang kasambahay na may dalawang slice of cake at orange juice. Nilagay niya ang tray sa isa pang maliit na lamesa di kalayuan sa aking pwesto.

“Salamat po. Mamaya na lang po ako kakain.”

Bumalik ako sa aking ginagawa. Dala ang paint roller na may pintura, nilapat ko iyon sa dingding. With an up and down motion. I started with my left until I covered all of it to the right. It took me fifteen minutes to finish the first coat. It needs a second coat so I will be waiting for it to dry before applying paint again.

Ininom ko ang orange juice habang tinitingnan ang garden wall. Mabilis naman matutuyo ang paint dahil manipis lang ang nilagay ko. It already has a white paint, I just want to start on a clean slate again so the art will pop up more.

I got this talent from Mama. She is an artist, painting and pottery. I have seen her works whenever we visit her old house before. Lolo has a whole room dedicated from her pieces alone. But after everything, the moment she left that house, I never saw her holding a paintbrush again. I don’t know if it is because her priorities have changed or other personal reasons. But I am thankful enough that I am able to do this. This has been my other world.

I started coating the wall with white paint again after almost an hour. I had my headphones on so I did not hear any noise behind me aside from the music I chose. After the second coat and I’m satisfied, I took a rest again so it will be able to dry.

I am fond of food, especially desserts. I took a small amount of the cake with the fork. It’s delicious. Chocolate…

As planned, I started in the middle. I am precise and careful. I memorized the design in my head. As much as possible I minimized any distraction. As soon as I started to paint, hindi na ako maaabala. Narinig ko ang makina ng sasakyan na siguro ay nagpapark na.

“My children! How’s work and school?” Boses ni Tita Isadora.

“Fine, Mama.” A girl’s voice.

“And you, Archie? How’s work?”

“It was good. I’m just tired.”

“Gus?”

Well, that’s familiar.

“School’s fine, Mama.” The man named Gus said huskily. Naririnig ko ang pagod sa kanyang boses.

His voice is too manly to be named Gus.

“Tiring, huh?”

“Yeah…” he answered. The voice is still hoarse.

“Alright… freshen up, all of you. I will prepare your meryenda.” Tita Isadora said.

Malapit lang ang garahe sa garden kaya malinaw kong naririnig ang kanilang usapan.

Nagkukulay kahel na ang langit. Unti unting dumidilim na rin ang paligid kaya minabuti kong tumigil na muna. I was done with the first detail of the design and looking at it, it’s unbelievable. I was able to do that with just my vision and the guide of the piece of paper.

I started to clean the mess that I’ve made. Ang mga tirang pinturang hindi ko nagamit ay sinalin ko sa maliliit na lalagyan. Pwede pa iyon bukas. Now I am wiping my hands with wet wipes but paint couldn’t come off. Kinuha ko ang towel at binuhusan ng maliit na parte ng paint thinner. Now it’s coming off.

“Oh, you’re done for today, hija? Join us for meryenda. Nagpapaluto na rin ako ng dinner.”

Sumulpot si Tita Isadora sa sliding glass door ng dining area nila.

“Hindi na po. Baka hinahanap na rin po kasi ako ni Mama. Masyado akong nagtagal.” I said while still wiping my hands and arms.

“Is that so? Sige, ipapahanda ko na ang sasakyan para mahatid ka ng driver.” Before I could protest, she walked inside again, hurriedly.

I sighed and just let her be. Mapilit si Tita Isadora kaya wala rin naman akong magagawa pa.

I changed into my uniform again. Tita clung her porcelain arms to my arms while we’re waiting for the car in her sala. She’s a very affectionate person as I observed. Kahit sa mga anak niya ay malambing ito. I’m pretty sure ganoon rin siya sa kanyang asawa. I haven’t met the patriarch of their family yet.

“Have you tried the cake we gave you?” She asked.

“Yes, but only a little po. It was delicious.” My favorite flavor.

“Really? My son made that cake. Gus… He’s learning how to bake and cook. He plans to take culinary as his course for college.”

Oh, I see.

“He will do good, Tita. I’m pretty sure he can do it.” Komento ko.

Kung ngayon pa lang ay pinag aaralan na niya, that means that what he really wanted to do. Masarap na yung cake na ginawa niya. I thought that it was made by a professional baker na nga. Only to find out that he made that.

Hinatid nga ako ng driver sa tapat mismo ng bahay namin. The lights were already on so I know that Mama is already home. I pushed the door open and I saw her on the sofa… crying silently. Hindi niya narinig ang pagpasok ko kaya tuloy lamang siya sa pag iyak. Her shoulders are shaking while her head is down. She’s wiping continuously using her both hands but new tears always fall.

I hate to see her like this…

I hate to witness her heartbreak…

She’s so affected by what happened.

She loves her, I know and I saw it. Bata pa lang ako, they were so inseparable. Kaya hindi ko matanggap ang betrayal ng ama ko. What was the reason? Bakit niya nagawa iyon?

Suminghap at napapikit ako. My own tears fell unexpectedly. I am hurting when Mama is hurt.

I wiped it away immediately.

“Mama?”

Napatalon siya ng bahagya at marahas na pinunasan ang mga luha bago ako harapin.

She forced a smile but it never reached her eyes.

“Ginabi ka ah. Maglinis ka na ng katawan mo. Maghahanda na ako ng dinner.” Sambit nito.

Dumiretso siya sa kusina. Ako naman sa kwarto ko.

I smell paint kaya minabuti kong maligo. Pagkatapos ay nagbihis na rin. I sat on my vanity desk and brushed my long black hair. My features are mostly like my mother's. Round eyes, narrow nose and pouty lips. My skin is fair like hers. Maybe, I got a bit older and these features mature, people might think we’re siblings.

My body is not skinny but I am not fat. I have curves in the right places and will consider them as a midsize. Mama said that my body will still change once I get older. I am already in my puberty stage and kind of noticing those changes.

My mom is already sitting at the dining table while spacing out. Hindi niya nararamdaman ang presensya ko dahil tila malalim ang iniisip. I walked until I reached the backrest of her chair. She didn’t flinch or even look at me.

I sighed.

I gently wrapped my arms around her neck and shoulders. This time, she flinched. I kissed her temples three times and her hair three times as well.

“Are you still thinking about him, Mama?” I asked.

It’s only been months since he left. With no communication. And my mother is not taking it well.

“Do not worry about me, anak. I will be okay…” She tried to sound cheerful.

Humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya.

“You’re always trying to hide how you truly feel. I am here, Mama. Kahit hindi ka magsalita, alam ko na malungkot ka. Alam ko na nasasaktan ka.” My voice becomes hoarse.

Whenever I think of our situation, I can’t help but become weak and teary. I pity my mom. I pity myself. But one of us needs to be strong. We can’t be both weak or we’ll fall apart. I know that Mama is trying but she always cries in secret.

“I hate seeing you like this, mommy…” I whispered. I buried my face to her shoulder, crouching myself more to feel her warmth.