The broken she-wolf - Healed by innocence

Promises

*Blaise*

Holding the curtain aside, I gaze into the quiet street where lanterns fight to hold the darkness at bay. I have never felt so unsure of myself in my life.

I hear my mate’s movements as she changes into her nightgown behind the screen. The day we were married, we returned to her house and slept in her bed. Just slept. Holding each other.

We have continued that ritual through the journey, but tonight I need more. The only family I have left is sharing this room with me, and the memories we have created span only a few weeks.

Memories of Chase span years, a lifetime.

I want... need Lillian's touch on my skin, her scent filling my nostrils, her taste on my lips. And dammit, I don't know how to go about getting it.

I have made love to someone twice in my life. Neither time was planned. I sought comfort, gave comfort.

The one time I stood in a room with a she-wolf knowing I had the right to her body, I walked out because no matter how much I paid her, I couldn't make myself want her.

“I have never been in so fine a place,” Lillian says quietly.

I release my death grip on the curtain and face my mate. Her hands are clasped in front of her. I smile, hoping to ease her nervousness as much as my own. “Callie would only settle for the best.”

“Why didn’t we stay with your brother?” She asks.

I plow my hands through my hair. “Because he still sees me as a boy. He never noticed that I grew up.”

“He’s angry that you married me.” She mumbles.

The sadness in her voice has me crossing the room with only one thought: to comfort her. I cradle her delicate face between my large hands. “It doesn’t matter. He ain’t got a dog in this fight.”

She blinks, one corner of her mouth curling up. “What does that mean?”

“It means you… our marriage is none of his business.” I trace the edge of my thumbs across her brow, down her temple, across her cheek. “My reasons for marrying you are my business.”

Her eyes lure me the way gold lures miners, and I feel as though I'm traveling into a mine, guided by light and darkness, searching for the treasures that lay within. I touch my thumbs to the corners of her mouth. I had given her a perfunctory kiss after we had exchanged vows. It had been less than satisfying. I'm not certain what she expects of this marriage, but I damn sure know what I want.

I lower my mouth to hers, tasting her sweetness on my tongue. Her small hands press against my chest, and I wonder if she feels the heavy pounding of my heart.

I guide her toward the bed and we fall together into the deep softness of the mattress. I will have to remember to compliment Callie on her taste in furnishings.

I tuck Lillian’s finely boned body beneath mine. I will take my time tonight, go slowly, savoring every moment, every inch of her, making certain I cause her no discomfort. I trail my lips along the slender column of her throat and dip my tongue into the hollow at the base of her throat.

“Remember your promise,” she pleads softly.

My promise? I have made so many of late. To find the man who murdered Rowan. To love Lillian, honor, and cherish her...

To never touch her if I was thinking of Olivia.

Groaning, I roll off her and drape my arm over my eyes, my body aching with need and desires that will go unfulfilled. I feel the stiffness of her body as she lies beside me. She hasn’t moved… not a finger, not a toe. I'm not even certain if she's still breathing.

I peer out from beneath my arm and watch a solitary tear escape from her tightly closed eyes and trail toward her ear. Anger, sadness, guilt swamp me.

I swing my legs off the bed, sit up, and rub my hands up and down my face. Then I stand, jerk my hat off the bedpost, and head for the door.

“Where are you going?” She asks.

“I need some fresh air.” I yank open the door, stop, and look over my shoulder at the she-wolf who is now sitting up in bed, her face a mask of anguish. “I wasn’t thinking of her, Lillian,” I say, my voice low. “But I'm not going to make that announcement every time I touch you. You're gonna have to learn to trust me to keep my promises.” I force my tense body not to slam the door in my wake.

I stride from the hotel. The sultry summer night wraps around me, offering no comfort. My boot heels echo over the boardwalk. I step off the planks and allow the dirt to muffle my passing.

I come to an abrupt halt in front of the general store. I see a pale light glowing within a window upstairs. I wonder where the boy sleeps. I wonder where Olivia and Riley hold each other through the night.

I start walking again, toward the far end of town. I hear the tinny sound of an off-key piano wafting out of the saloon. A bottle of whiskey appeals to me, but I have never enjoyed drinking alone.

And the drinking companion of my youth is probably making passionate love to Olivia right about now. I go to the livery, saddle Black Thunder, and ride into the night, trying to escape the invisible prison that surrounds my heart.

I feel the terror that engulfed me when they put me in solitary confinement. The loneliness had been absolute, frightening. Just as it is now. Loving Olivia had been so easy. We had never argued, she had never questioned.

But as I ride, it isn’t Olivia who haunts my thoughts. It's Lillian with golden eyes that don’t quite trust me and a heart that might never be mine.