The Unknown Of What I Am

Chapter 11

Pandora's POV

I woke, but it was still very dark out. I tried to go back to sleep, but Ryu wasn't there. I decided that I should head back to the house. I knew it wasn't safe out here this late at night. As I walked back, I listened to the sounds of the forest. My hearing and sight were much better than that of a wolf. I could see every stick and ever thorn. I could hear the shallow breathing of a mouse in slumber. I didn't feel like rushing. This is what I've done all my life. Once Kanna was asleep, I would wander around. Now that Kanna and Scarlet are gone, it was just me and Lanna. She wasn't meant to wake up until after the battle. The battle Ryu and I were to fight on our own. He is my weapon, his wolf is my steed. I wished I didn't have to do this, but this was for the better. I knew I was a warrior. I'm not meant to love or be loved. Alex proved that right. Once he knew Kanna was gone, he rejected me. I begged him to give me a chance, but he was right, I'm just a vampire warrior meant to save the living. I'm not even supposed to be alive. I was just created to fight something that I had no clue of what it was. I wouldn't know when or where this battle be. Ryu and I would just know when it happened.

I sighed and looked up at the star filled sky. "I've come up with a name Kanna. We are Beasts. Multiple of us in one body. Immortal Beasts. Born of many, but none at the same time." Tears slipped down my cheeks. "Kanna, I have fallen in love when I wasn't meant to. He rejected me and now I am heart broken. What do I do, Kanna? How do I fight when I have no one special to protect?" I looked down at the ground. "Earth, tell me, what is Alex doing?" I felt the vibrations, they made pictures in my mind. I could see Ryu straddling Alex. They were crying. Crying over my sister Kanna. I could see their lips moving, but I couldn't hear them. They seemed to have formed a strong bond. It upset me to know that I am the only reason why bonds are being broken.

I closed my mind to everything and cried. I was supposed to be this big bad warrior, yet here I am, crying my eyes out in the forest at night. I was never like this before. I was always the strong one, now, I am weak and I'm not willing to fight. I'd rather die than fight.

"Get up, sister." I heard Kanna say. I looked around, but I couldn't find her. "Get up, Pandora. I know it's hard, but you must get up and keep going. You must be strong. You must stand and fight. Lillian may only be a werewolf, but she is still our daughter. You must protect her. Even if Alexander has rejected you, you are strong and you can keep going. Lillian is the reason why you must fight now. Protect our daughter, Pandora."

She was gone. I heard her and felt her as if she was standing beside me, but now there is nothing. I took a few deep breaths and stood up, wiping my tears away. Kanna was right, Lillian is my daughter just as much as she is Kanna's. I headed back toward the house. This time, I was faster. I was going to see my little girl. I was going to tell her that I loved her and that I will always protect her.

I ended up running full speed all the way to the house and into Lillian's room. I walked over to her. She was awake and looking at me."Lillian." I said, dropping to my knees in front of her.

"It's okay Mommy. I know. I know you have to fight the bad ones. I know that you won't be there after the fight is over. I know uncle won't be either."

I pulled her into my arms and hugged her. "I'm so sorry my little Lilly. If I could have it any other way, I would. You know that. If I could save Kanna and Ryu, I would. But I can't. I'm going to save you and Daddy, so that you both can have a wonderful and happy life."

"I know Mommy, but will Lanna know anything? About me or Daddy or you and Uncle Ryu?"

I shook my head. "No baby. She won't know anything. Lanna is the owl I got my wings from. She's been in a deep sleep since Ryu was born. Lanna is Ryu's twin sister. I'm going to need you and Daddy to take care of her for me."

She nodded. "Okay Mommy. I'll make Daddy take care of Lanna with me. I'll teach her to be a good girl like me."

I gave her a kiss on her cheek and tucked her back into bed. I headed to Alex's room. I could hear soft cries. I opened the door and saw Ryu had fallen asleep on Alex's chest. They were on the floor. Alex was still crying, but he hadn't let go of Ryu. I closed the door quietly and sat down next to them.

"Alex, you don't have to answer me, but please listen." I paused and took a breath. "I'm not meant to be in love or be loved in general from anyone other than Ryu, my weapon. When Kanna met you, I was already awake inside her. When she was asleep, I'd take over. She had no actual home, so I would be awake when she was sleeping. Always moving so that we wouldn't get hurt anymore. Humans, vampires, witches, they all turned us away. We stayed away from werewolves simply because we didn't want to be shut out anymore. Then you came. Everything changed after that. Kanna was terrified that we would get hurt again. You were nice to us and loved us. At one point, I began to fall in love with you too. I wanted to spend more time with you, but that was impossible. I don't know how to love or even feel love. I was not born with that function, yet here I am, sitting beside you completely in love. Soon enough, I won't be here either. Only Lanna will be left. The poor girl knows nothing. She gave nothing to Lillian because she's in a deep sleep. Only when I finally leave this world with Ryu, will she wake. I gave Lillian my fangs so that she would always remember that she has Kanna and myself as her mothers. I guess the point of all this is for me to tell you that I love you and I hope that you take care of Lanna." I wiped away a tear.

I could tell that Alex was looking at me. "I hate goodbyes. I love Kanna, but I seem to also love you. I've never met Lanna, but I hope she's just as wonderful as you and Kanna." He pulled me down and kissed me. His kiss as deep, sad, and full of longing. It didn't last long, but I understood it all.

I laid down beside him. "I don't know how long we have, but please, let me lay with you until I am gone." I whispered. He held my closer. I felt tired, but I didn't realize how tired I actually was. I fell asleep quickly.

Ryu's POV

I woke hearing two sets of snores. I opened my eyes slowly to see Pandora sleeping beside me. I shifted my body slightly and heard a male groan. I looked up slightly to see Alex sleeping under me. Memories flooded my mind of last night. I felt my cheeks heat up. I had fallen asleep on Alex and at some point, Pandora had come back and fell asleep beside Alex. I quickly moved off Alex. He opened his eyes and looked around. I have to admit, he was very cute when he was half asleep.

I covered my mouth and turned away. What in the world was I thinking!? Alex is a guy! I'm a guy! He's in love with my sister! I quickly left the room and headed straight for my room.

"What the hell was that?!" I linked my wolf.

"We don't have a mate. Seeking comfort and pleasure is normal." He said.

"No! Not with Pandora's mate! No way! Plus I like girls!"

"And who said I did?"

I was shocked. Was my wolf telling me that he's gay?!

"That's exactly what I'm telling you, you stupid boy!" He growled. I closed the link between us. I was not prepared for that. Not at all. I mean, okay, he likes males cool. Whatever makes him happy. Personally, I prefer girls.

I sighed and gathered some clothes and headed to the shower. "I hope I didn't embarrass Alex." I thought.

Alexander's POV

I watched Ryu leave my room. His face was very red. I was confused as to why, but I shrugged it off and looked over at Pandora. She was still sleeping. She looked adorable. "I don't want to wake you Pandora, but I need the bathroom."

She groaned and held my arm tighter to my chest. "I won't tell anyone if you go here. I'm comfy."

I smiled. "Pandora, I can't do that. It's gross." She hissed at me and I laughed.

I got out of her grasp and placed her in my bed. She was so tired from all the crying she did last night. I gathered my shower bag and headed off to the showers.

As I was walking, I could feel Vince start getting restless. "What's up with you?" I linked him.

"Mate." He growled. I stopped mid step and looked around. I stepped back and Vince calmed down a little, but when I stepped forward, he began to get restless again.

"What are you talking about? Pandora is in our bed." He growled and fought to take over. I was so confused. I blocked him out and headed to the showers.

"Stop it, Wolfram! We don't have a mate!" Ryu yelled. He must be having trouble with his wolf.

"Hey." I said, making him jump.

"Goddess Alex!" He yelled. I felt Vince clawing at my walls.

I opened it. "What Vince!?"

"MATE!" He yelled. I looked at Ryu, his face said that his wolf had said the same thing.

"What!?" We asked in unison. I saw Ryu's eyes turn black.

"Mate." He growled and stepped toward me. I stepped back. I had never felt scared before, but Ryu's wolf was terrifying!

"T-that's not possible." I stepped back as he stepped forward, but I slipped and landed on my butt. "Ouch!" He crouched over top of me.

"Mate." Her growled, lightly touching my cheek. I could feel the tingles of the mate pull where her touched my cheek. The tingles lingered as my cheeks began to feel hot.

"R-Ryu." I whispered. I heard the bathroom door open, but I couldn't look away from him.

"Alpha? Beta?" Ryu looked up, allowing me to look away.

Ryu growled. I could see his body beginning to shift. "Ryu." I lightly touched his chest. I could feel him calming down, but the pack was laughing at us and that didn't help. Ryu shifted. His wolf form was a light grey with black markings that looked like they were words. I couldn't read what they said. It was like they were in a different language.

"B-Beta! Stop!" I could smell the fear coming off them in waves.

"Ryu!" I hugged him. "Ryu no." I whispered into his neck.

"You laugh, yet none of you understand the feeling of the mate pull!" He had opened his link to all of us. They looked down at the ground. "No showers right now. One hundred laps around the territory." They went to protest, but Ryu's growl was terrifying.

I sighed. "Are we only a fling?" I asked bluntly.

"I'm sorry Alex. I don't know. Only Wolfram knows." Ryu had shifted back and hugged me.

"If you are meant to battle along side Pandora, I would say it is."

I'm sure Ryu could see the sadness in my eyes. He slipped a hand to the back of my head and pulled me closer to him. His lips lightly touched mine, and I felt it. The weak mate pull I had for him. I knew now that this was, in fact, a fling. I leaned into his kiss, lightly licking his bottom lip. He opened and we explored each others mouth.

Pandora's POV

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in Alex's bed. I sat up and stretched. I smiled when I looked outside. "I'm glad you helped me, sister." I said. I left Alex's room heading for mine. Alex and his mom had gone to get me clothes when I was in my frenzy. Surprisingly, they had gotten some really cute clothes. I smiled and headed to the showers. I was ready to wash all this sleep off.

After my shower, I headed down to the kitchen in search of something to eat. I rounded the corner and froze. What I saw, was rather embarrassing. I turned away quickly.

"Pandora!" I heard Ryu call.

"I will turn when I know for sure that my big brother's tongue is no longer down Alex's throat."

"Wait, you aren't hurt by this?" Ryu was too blunt and innocent for his own good.

I turned around. "Oh Goddess no! I asked Kanna for help." Ryu lifted an eyebrow. "I asked Kanna to take away some of my love for you, Alex, and give it to my steed. I wanted you to feel love before this battle. Big brother, please just be nice to Alex." I turned and looked right at a blushing Alex." Now you, Alex, be nice to my big brother or face an angry me."

I walked passed them to the fridge and pulled a jar of blood out. "Do you want me to heat that for you, Mistress?" I could tell that this wasn't Ryu. I handed the jar to him and sat at the counter beside Alex.

"You really aren't upset?" Alex asked.

I laughed. "No. Don't get me wrong, I still love you, but I want my steed to know what I felt. He has most of the love I felt for you.

"I don't completely understand what you are saying."

"I'm saying, the love I had for you last night is now only about ten percent. My steed has the other ninety percent."

"Oh. But, why? Why not give him a female? Why me?"

I smiled at him. "Because I know you won't hurt him. My big brother has a soft heart, but my steed is of alpha material. Only an alpha could handle him."

"I see. So, what does the writing all over his wolf form say?" I knew that was coming. Once Kanna was gone, it was bound to show up on his fur.

"I cannot tell you what it says. I can tell you that it is for my use."

Ryu placed a cup in front of me. "There's one thing I can tell you that's written on my fur." Alex looked at him. "If Pandora were to say these words, I would be released from my bond with her as her weapon and steed. However, I would just be a normal wolf, not a werewolf. Pandora must say, 'I no longer need your protection. You are free from the bond we share.' I would be free, but Ryu would no longer exist."

Alex looked down at his hands on the counter. "Ryu, what is going to happen after the battle? Will you becoming back?"

"I don't know. I may fall in battle but I may survive too. I can tell you that once the battle is over, I no longer have a reason to be immortal. That will be taken away from me. I will begin to age. I know a lot, but I can't answer anymore questions. My love, you must understand, I am the only one who can know everything about this battle."

He looked sad, but he forced a smile at Ryu. "I understand, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt any less."

I couldn't take anymore of this sadness anymore. "Let's go for a run." I piped up. Immediately the mood changed and Alex stripped. Ryu smiled at him and followed. Ryu's wolf form had changed since Kanna left. He was much bigger than any werewolf. He had more muscle. They followed me to the deck. Ryu was too big for me to climb on, Alex and to help me up by giving me a boost. Once I was on, I kicked his sides and he took off.

Alex was fast, but not fast enough to keep up with us. Ryu had to slow down for his mate to keep up. We all knew we left the territory. We could hear the pack howling for our safe return.

We were running for a while and I looked like Alex needed a break. "Stop. Alex is going to collapse." Ryu slowed to a stop and Alex dropped to the ground. I jumped down and lightly pat Alex's head. "Are you okay?" I asked. He whimpered and licked at his paws. They were raw and starting to bleed. "Ryu, help. He's pushed himself too hard."

I struggled to get Alex on Ryu's back, but I managed to get him up and I climbed on. I was worried about his paws. If they were too damaged, he'd never be able to run again. "The river." I said as I climbed up holding Alex still. He was still whimpering. "Hurry Ryu." I kicked his sides to make her go faster. I knew Ryu could handle runs like this, but I completely forgot Alex couldn't and I felt terrible. I had pushed him to the point of hurting him. I felt my tears slip down my cheeks. Alex looked up at me and whimpered. "It's okay Alex. I'll get you cleaned up and healed soon."

He leaned up and licked a tear away on my cheek. I pat him again. Ryu got to the river quickly. He was worried about his mate. He helped me get Alex into the cool water of the river. Alex yelped when I wrapped his paws in leaves and vines. "I know Alex. I'm so sorry." I bit my wrist with my fangs to draw blood. Once I soaked the leaves and vines in my blood, Ryu picked him up by his scruff and took him into the river.

I felt terrible for making his paws bleed. "R-Ryu, I'm f-fine now. L-let me g-go." I could see his lips turning blue.

"My steed, Wolfram, your mate is cold." Ryu took him out of the river and brought him to me. Alex was shivering so much that he couldn't talk. "Nod or shake your head to my questions. Did you drink the river water?" He nodded. "Good. Do you have any burning feeling in your veins?" He nodded. I looked up at Ryu who was now in human form. "Ryu, my weapon. I call on thee. Give me what I need." Ryu and Wolfram separated at my call. Wolfram curled up against Alex to try and keep him warm while Ryu became a needle. I carefully picked him up and went to the river. "Take 10-ml in please Ryu." He obeyed and I whispered a spell over him.

No, I'm not a witch. I am a vampire. I know spells because of a witch's life that was given to me. Once the water went a pale blue, I walked back over to Alex. "I need you to shift" He looked at me, I could see that he was in pain from my blood. I could see his eyes beginning to turn red. "Now Alex." He shifted and I stabbed in in the neck with the needle Ryu had become. Injecting Alex with the liquid, he howled in pain. I passed Ryu to Wolfram who became one again.

He writhed around in pain whimpering. "Are you sure he's going to live, Pandora?" Ryu asked. He was very worried for Alex. "He'll be fine. The serum is just killing my venom. It's a painful process, and he's going to hate me for a while, but he will live."