Necromancer want me

Chapter 1 Worst own funeral ever. No, not like that, the worst rehearsal of my funeral ever. The first I arranged when I was fourteen, inviting all my numerous relatives and a few friends. Everyone then was terribly frightened, but when they saw a calm dad and sister with their eyes rolled up, they realized that this was my next trick. For the next three years, I sent invitations to new rehearsals, but no one came. And today, on my own coming of age, I decided to make a knight's move and combine business with pleasure, celebrate my eighteenth birthday, and at the same time decide how my funeral will take place. The program was planned as follows: several personally raised zombies were to serve the guests. My most successful photographs would be broadcast on the magic screen. The songs of the serenas were supposed to delight the ears of every visitor. And at the end, under the festive black fireworks, I was going to rise from the coffin and thank everyone for the kind words spoken to me today. Instead, as soon as they saw the zombies, most of the guests rushed off headlong, and some especially impressionable fainted! But I tried so hard to arrange an event at the highest level! My zombies were even more upset, because before that they had studied the rules of etiquette for two whole months and became first-class service personnel! The junk generally burst into tears and ran into the basement after such a failure, he was the first of those raised by me and, probably, that is why he is so emotional. Now you have to calm him down for several hours, and he already has complexes! When the most persistent relatives remained, the serenas decided to show their character and, instead of cheerful ditties, sing a sad ballad about a kikimore that infected all the inhabitants of the beautiful Mesivo swamp with a venereal disease. Not otherwise than as a punishment to me for having stolen them from my native lake. As a result, with tears in their eyes and a wild headache, the remaining relatives left the scene. Oh, and fly me from ... - Christiana! Well, as much as possible! An adult girl of marriageable age, but you still behave like a child. Well, at least knowing you, I didn’t invite my friend Master Volaris and his son Aristarchus today, otherwise they would definitely cancel the engagement. My father, master Sirach Shaantvil, is one of the best doctors in the country, and at the same time a terrible despot. Tries to control my every move and every decision. Naturally, I have no choice but to do everything in defiance of him. - Dad! You know how important it is for every necromancer to have his own funeral! I started abruptly. So I wanted to ... well ..., - she finished quieter. - And it turned out as always, - father smiled surprisingly warmly. - Chris, what makes you think that this is how every necromancer's funeral is held? - I found among my mother's things the book "Rest with Joy" and decided to add something else from myself. - Ha, I remember, I remember, we bought this book with her during the trip, when Nora was pregnant with you. She said that she would read it to you at night, when you grow up, so that you would not be afraid of your gift. I love hearing stories about my mother, I was six years old when she passed away due to an accident on a business trip. And my sister was ten years old, Saoirse, like dad, inherited a healing gift, unlike my gift of a necromancer, but despite this, mom always treated us with the same love. “It would be better if you studied proven literature with real teachers at the Academy of Magic. - I'm not bored in the family estate either! - I suppose, in this case, it is better to get married to the son of the master Volaris as soon as possible, Aristarchus also spends a lot of time at home, you will quickly find a common language. Only not this! I have never communicated with either this master, with whom the father is so friendly, or with his son live! Only through the negotiating mirror once papa arranged a date for us. The pimply-haired boy, slowly drawing out his words, looked condescendingly at me for the entire five minutes of our dialogue. And after each of my sentences, I inserted quotes from the now popular memoirs of the owner of a brothel! “A man needs a woman who can be turned on and off - like a light in a room,” every time I shake, remembering this phrase. - You know, father, maybe you are right, and I should go to this university, maybe next year I will do that ... “It’s a pity, I planned to give you a familiar for admission, I’m not sure if I can get it in a year…” Whatoooo!! A real familiar? The magically gifted beast I dreamed of! The best friend and protector, I want a tiger! Or a lion! Or maybe a crocodile? Yes, who am I lying to, I even agree to a rat! - I agree! I now! Dad, don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!!! I fly up to the second floor to my room, so a couple of dresses, underwear, my favorite books on necromancy and all the elixirs from the laboratory! I drag the suitcase back up the stairs, fall, get up, fall again! I run out into the street, I'm ready to go to this academy !!!! - Oh, Christiana, you are in your repertoire! - Meg's father, sister and grandmother are clearly making fun of me. Nothing, as they say, he laughs well who does not laugh at a necromancer! - Enrollment in the academy will take place in a month, but since you have already agreed - this is for you! Cat! The most beautiful cat in the world, I look into her green eyes and feel how her soul reaches out to me! Over time, our connection will become even closer, and we will feel each other. I take back all my words, this is the best day of my life! My darling! My Ray! -Thank you thank you thank you! I have no doubt that it was Saoirse who told my father about my long-standing desire, and he found it, saved up money and bought it. - By the way, Grandma, I'm so glad you stayed! You have such a fun party, I wouldn't miss it for anything! By the way, this precious set is my gift to you, granddaughter. Not a familiar, of course, but it will look amazing with your blue eyes. -Thank you, relatives, I suggest you enjoy the banquet and look at the photo cards on the magic screen. - Well, sister, as you say, - the usually imperturbable Saoirse smiled slyly. We sit in cozy chairs on the veranda, I slowly begin to fill with paint. Instead of photographs, which I prepared with such difficulty, the screen contains a collection of all the ridiculous episodes of my life. Here I am twelve, a foreign ambassador with a very interesting appearance came to dad, and I wanted to impress him. She brought war paint with the help of Saoirse's makeup, as it seemed to me very successfully then. The defiant wine-colored lipstick thickly covered my lips and even their limits. The blue-green shadows were supposed to emphasize my eyes, but instead imitated the role of two large black eyes. At least I was lucky that I never found eyebrow tweezers ... That ambassador was then very confused when I extended my hand to him for a kiss with the words “Does your mother need a daughter-in-law?” Saoirse caught me with a photographic camera at the moment when I loudly slammed the door and pathetically breathed in “Married again!”. And here I am seven years old, I was invited to the children's birthday party of the Landgrab couple. We played hide and seek, and I found a wonderful strategic place - a wine cellar. An hour later, when I finally came out of my hiding place, it turned out that my friends were already finishing their cake. On the one hand, it was a shame that they didn’t wait for me, but on the other hand, I was so proud of my hiding place that I exclaimed loudly: “Mr. Landgrab and the cook did not find me, although they searched in the cellar for so long, that’s how wonderful I hid!” The Landgrab family did not invite me to visit again. It got awkward. And this photo was taken six months ago, on it we are standing with Rukhlyad near the house. The fact is that after another quarrel with my father, I decided to take the supplies necessary for the first time and go with a faithful friend to live in the forest. “I will put the souls of the dead to rest for the money of the peasants, fight the undead, and Junk will protect me from robbers,” - at that time the idea seemed very attractive to me. Dreams were shattered when a loyal zombie rushed screaming towards the house, seeing a flock of geese menacingly tuned in our direction. “Return of the Prodigal Daughter” - such a caption appeared on the photograph, where I appeared with my face flushed from running, and Junk with prayerfully folded hands asked to return to the mansion. Well, sister, the next round is mine. Although I will not hide my sin, we had fun this evening gloriously.