Fire & Snow

Chapter 18

“Were you on a call yesterday at night?” Alex asked as he, Chance and I made our way to the library to study.

I thought he would forget about the whole late night call but seemed he still remembered it and I did not know what to say. For starters, the truth was not an option. I was not going to risk Chance and Alex thinking I was now turning into someone I was not and the truth would only bring more unnecessary questions that I was just not simply ready to answer just yet. The other thing was the fact that if I did not tell them the truth and they later found out, I was more than screwed and they might both lose their trust in me. I was caught between a rock and I hard place on what I needed to do.

“Or maybe I was just that tired and my brain was making up things that weren’t actually real,” Alex said once more. “But I hope I was not making things up because that would mean that I was really tired and can’t recall what what happened after Shadowhunters.”

Chance turned to us with narrowed eyes. “You two watched Shadowhunters without me, how dare you? I thought we agreed that we would be watching it together and this is how you screw me over after everything we have been through?”

Alex glanced at me and we both burst out laughing. This was one of the things that I missed about hanging out with my friends and just simply being us and not having to worry what the other people might think of us. It was just us being weird and awkward but also having a good time. In that moment nothing else mattered. There was no Aydan, no Liav, No Faith and no life problems that were sure to make us curl in a ball in a corner and sob our eyes out.

“What’s so funny?” Chance asked as we entered the library. “This really is not funny and I should be hitting you for laughing at doing this to me. You two practically broke the agreement we had made last year and as such I am obligated to not talk to you,” he said in a whisper as we went to our usual table and sat down.

I threw my bag on the floor and sat down while silently laughing at the look that Chance had on his face. It was very irony how the entire thing was. Our friend group was one of the weirdest ones in our year and most people wondered how we all got along so well and managed to still be friends after so long.

“We know but you chose Gia over us and I guess you can call it karma,” Alex replied and laughed silently. His shaking shoulders were the only things that showed that he was laughing but other than that, you would not be able to tell he was actually laughing.

“I thought you said it was cool and I could hang out with her,” Chance pouted and then grabbed his Math textbook and notebook from his bag. “So you two lied to me about being cool with it?” he sighed and looked around the library that barely had any people in it except for two students and the librarian.

I watched Alex and Chance talking and wondered how lucky I had been to have such friends as them. Not only were they fun and caring but they were also goofy at times and serious when need be which was more than I could ask for. “Yeah, we were cool with you bailing on us to hang out with her but we had nothing to watch and there was a new episode of Shadowhunters so we watched it,” I said with a casual shrug and sifted through my bag for my sketchpad.

I did not feel like studying just so when I was really starting to understand the concepts I get called by Liav to do something. That would make me lose my focus and I was not ready to start something that I was not going to finish. The entire morning and during lunch I had been waiting for Liav or Faith to call and say they needed me, which was more stress because I had not yet received a call from either one of them.

“How was your date anyway?” I asked as I chewed on the end of my pencil. I was trying to figure out what to draw but my brain was not coming up with anything. It was as though the more I tried to think, the harder it was and the more my brain felt as though I was trying to overuse it more than it could handle. “Was it what you thought it would be?”

Chance raked a hand through his hair and sighed before he looked at Alex and I. “It was the worst date I have ever been on,” he finally said after a few minutes of him just staring at us without saying anything. “I mean, Gia is hot and all and has a really fine arse but that’s about all she has. All arse and no brains and the entire time we were together she kept on talking about her and her friends and how who did this or how she bought some new purse or shoes. Talk about self-centred much.”

Alex and I laughed, as in really laughed so hard that we even received warning looks from the two other students and the librarian who was five rolls away from us. That was how loud we were.

“I’m serious,” Chance went on. “You always say how self=centred I am but you have not met Gia, I swear I almost left when she opened her mouth and would not close it. It was really horrible.”

Alex and I were still laughing as tears rolled down our cheeks. I was even clutching my stomach from all the laughing.  

“You aren’t serious right?” I asked in between laughs. “She talked about herself the entire time while I sat there contemplating why on earth I thought she was worth missing a night with you two morons.”

Tears were just rolling off Alex’s cheeks. No sound just shaking shoulders and tears and it was so hilarious that it made me laugh even harder but quietly. I did not want to risk receiving another reprimand from the others in the library, especially from the librarian. I liked her and she seemed to like me, which was more than I hoped for considering she hated basically everyone who walked into the library.

“You are joking right? Please tell me you are just making all of this up,” I said still laughing.

“I wish I was,” Chance replied sadly. “It really was not worth missing a whole day with you guys. She may have the body and the arse but like hell I would ever want to tap that after everything that I went through with her and it was only one date.”

“You’ll live,” Alex finally replied.

                                                                           ***********

“Where are you?” Liav asked as soon as I picked up his call.

I took a deep breath and moved further away from the library entrance. “I’m by the library. Why? Do you need me?” I asked.

I had started sketching something after the talk with Chance until my phone vibrated next to me and I was forced to leave everything I was doing so I could answer it before it went to voice mail. One thing I had realised about Liav was that he would only call once and if I did not answer it then he would not call again and I had to call him to find out what it was that he needed from me. The pecks of being a working class student. It was so much stress working for a demanding boss and then keeping up with my studies and then to top it all off, Aydan had decided to come into my life and he was seriously complicating it for whatever reason I had no answer for. It was all too much that when Liav gave me yesterday off, I gladly accepted it and used it to unwind from all the stress.

“Okay, I will be there,” Liav said and then hung up.

I sighed and went back into the library. Liav was a weird person to figure out but Aydan was an even worse and very complicated person to figure out. He was easy to talk to at times but others I felt as though I had to work in eggshells with him otherwise he might just snap and decide to bite my head for…. literally.

                                                                      ***********

My afternoon plans had been disturbed and now I was laying on my bed staring at the ceiling. It was past 11 pm and I was not remotely sleepy even though I had done a lot of moving about running errands for Liav and Faith. I just laid there motionless.

“What’s on your mind?” Kylie asked from her side on the room. She had come back after her afternoon lectures were over and I was glad that she was back and I was no longer alone in the room. It was just depressing and sad now that I thought about it.

“Nothing, just tired I guess,” I replied vaguely. I was more than tired but I was not going to worry her with any of my many problems.

“Then you should get some rest and leave everything else,” Kylie said and that elicited a laugh from me. “What’s so funny?” she asked and I could hear the curiosity in her voice even though the room was dark.

If only she knew, I said to myself and then turned in her direction. “It’s a lot more complicated than that,” I said.

“How?”

“It just is.”

I could hear movement and  soon enough Kylie was on my bed and had snuggled closer to me. “I want you to tell me how and why it is complicated? If this job is stressing you as much then you should just quit,” she said and I wanted to protest that whole statement but she cut me off. “Let me finish what I was going to say would ya?” she said and I could hear the eye roll. Yes, I said hear, that was how well I knew Kylie and after being roommates since freshman year I knew her more than she knew herself.

“I know you need the jib so you can help your mum and be able to pay for your tuition and whatnot but what do you think your mum will feel when she finds out that you are stressing yourself so much?” Kylie asked and then wrapped her arms around me.

If my mum found out, she would no doubt come all the way here and have a ‘talk’ with me. Something that I was not ready for because she would make me quit my job and go on a rant about how she was parent and how she was the one to provide. I knew all that but I still wanted to help out whatever way I could and this was me stressing over the entire thing.

“She would no doubt make me quit my job,” I replied with sigh and held her arms. “But I can’t let her get all the stress just because she is the parent does not mean I can’t help her out.”

“So the stress is worth it?” Kylie asked. “Really think about it before you give me an answer.”

I thought about it. Really thought about it and I knew without a doubt what the answer was. “Of course it’s worth all the stress. I would take being stressed any day just so my mum does not run herself dry with trying to provide for us.”

“I see.”