It had been a week since I last spoke with Aydan. He did not call or text and I did not know whether I should call or text him and so I opted for not doing anything at all. If he did not want t talk to me then fine, I was not going to force him too after all he was the one who had first started talking to me.
I had my own life to live and I was not going to spend it worrying over someone else’s child. That was something I was never going to do no matter how much I wanted to. Instead of spending my time worrying about what I had done for Aydan not to talk to me, I spent my time doing my job and studying and just overall trying to live the best life that I could for however long I had.
“Have you seen Aydan with that senior girl?” I overheard these two girl talking really loudly as I made my way to the library. I wanted to read a book and take the time to work on me and my own hobbies. “They were all over each other in the student car park,” one of the girls went on saying and the sighed as she twirled a lock of her hair with her finger. “I wish I was her.”
“i would give anything to have Aydan notice me,” her friend said and then sighed as well. “He’s been with like three different girls so far and it isn’t even a week yet. Why can’t he just notice us already?” she said to her friend.
I rolled my eyes but glanced in their direction. One of the girls had blonde hair that was braided to one side of her head while the other one had brown curly hair that was hanging over her shoulders. No doubt they were still freshman by the way that they looked, all innocent and not yet tainted by everything that was college. I felt pity for them because they had no idea what they had gotten themselves into and adding Aydan on top of that was like creating a poisonous drug that was sure to kill them slowly from the inside until there was nothing left.
“I want him to at least notice me even once,” the brown-haired girl said.
“I heard he once dated a freshman just a week after his junior year and that she wasn’t even all that attractive but he still went out with her and rumours have it that he only ever has s*x with all the girls and has never been in a long term relationship,” the blonde said and then leaned in close to whisper something to her friend.
I hated eavesdropping on people’s conversations but for some reason, I found myself walking very close so I could hear exactly what they were saying.
“I heard that there was this one girl he really liked last year but no one knows what happened between them or who the girl actually," her blonde friend said and they walked away while still talking about Aydan and his mystery girl.
I suddenly lost the interest for going to the library and made a turn to head to the track field. It had been long since I last put on my running shoes and felt that adrenaline rush as the wind blew through my hair and I felt like was alive again. But first I had to make a detour and pass by my room to drop off my bag and books and change into my sports wear.
**********
I had changed into leggings, a sports bra and my trainers and I was good to go. Taking a deep breath, I tied my hair up into a ponytail and increased the volume of on my iPod and started lightly jogging while feeling the air breeze past my face.
My speed slowly increased into I was full on sprinting and I felt great, better than I had felt in so long that I wondered why I had decided to stop running. Running was my drug, I did not need any other drug except for this and I was so lost in my own head and feeling the rush that I did not notice when someone when someone fell in sync with me.
I reduced my speed and slowly came to a stop and so did the person. Taking off my ear-pods, I turned to face the person and to my surprise it was none other than Aydan, the one guy I was trying to stop thinking about but could not.
"Sophomore," he said with a chin nod. "I did not know you can run, why don't you join the track team or something because I am sure they could use someone like you."
I was panting as I tried to regain my focus. He had ignored me for a week and then decided to come back as though he had not just being ignoring. What was wrong with this guy? Did he have bipolar or something? Because the fact that he could come back and act as if nothing had happened. I did not know whether to be pissed off with him or act as though nothing had happened and go on with my life or I ignore him the way that he ignored me and make him feel the way I did.
"Aren't you going to say something?" Aydan asked and then smiled. His smile was so cute and boyish that I almost gave in. I looked up at him and he was in a black vest, grey sweatpants with black trainers and his hair was wet. His skin was glowing, like literally glowing and I wondered if it was the wet all that was how he naturally was. "Come on, talk to me sophomore. I know how you like talking so much on the phone,” he went on and then tilted his head in my direction quizzically, “Why do you always talk more on the phone but never in person?”
I took a deep breath and started walking back to the bleachers without answering any of his questions. I was fighting hard with myself not to punch him on his pretty face but the more he talked, the more I wanted nothing more than to punch him really hard then ask him who this mystery girl was. Then I thought about how that would make me look like and I did not want that.
“Come on Neva, talk to me,” Aydan said once more as he fell in step with me yet again.
I kept on walking without saying anything in response and then took a seat on the bleachers. I stared ahead and watched from the corner of my eye as Aydan sat next to me. He raked a hand through his hair and I saw his arm muscles flex as he did so. He was an attractive guy and that was a fact but that was all it was ever going to be.
“Seriously? You are going to keep on ignoring me as though I am not right here, sitting next to you while trying to have a conversation with you,” Aydan said sounding a bit frustrated and I internally smiled to myself. It felt good to have someone beg for you to talk to them while you just sat there not saying anything and watching them beg. He turned to me and sighed. “Did I do something wrong? Is this what it really is?”
I sighed, maybe I was being a bit extra with the ignoring but I wanted him to feel the way I felt when he ignored me. Karma was a b***h and I did not feel bad for what I was doing, which was saying something.
“Yeah, you did,” I finally replied and by the look on his face, he did not expect me to reply anytime soon.
“Umm…. eh… okay,” it was as though Aydan was now short for words and that was new to me. “How?”
I stared straight ahead and watched as the field guys began to fill the the field while others jogged on the tracks. It was peaceful and calming and I felt like I belonged, which was something that I had not felt since my junior high. “You act like you don’t know me around people but then you would call me late at night just to talk or you could spend a whole week ignoring my entire existence just to come back again and act as though you did nothing wrong,” I said while still staring straight ahead at the people in the field and on the tracks. “It honestly is annoying because you make it seem as though I am who is wrong when I’m not.”
I looked over at him as I said that and he looked dumbfounded, which was a good thing because it meant that what I was saying was getting through to him.
“I don’t know if you want us to be friends or not. You are the most complicated guy I have met and it’s too much work. Too much work trying to figure out what you want and what you don’t and I hate it. Hate the fact that this feels like a roller-coaster and I have to sit there the entire time and hold on for dear life.”
There was a weird silence that fell upon us as I said that. I wanted to say more, say exactly what was on my mind and how I felt about the way he was treating me.
“We were okay, I guess I could say that and then all of a sudden it was as though I did not exist, which trust me I’m okay with because I hardly knew who you were and I did not think you would ever want to talk to me after basically being forced to tutor me,” I went on. It was now or never, who knew the next time I would get enough courage to say exactly what I was thinking to him. “But then you just had to go and start talking to me and acting like we are friends in private but not in front of Liav and Faith.”
Aydan had a blank expression as I finally looked at him. Was he upset? Pissed off? Surprised? Shocked? I had no idea. I waited for a response from him but nothing came and I sighed then stood up. This was pointless and I was not going to waste my time on someone who was going to act like I did not exist.
I plugged my ear-pods in my ear and turned the volume up. I was done running for the day because he had ruined the mood for me so I was going to pass by Faith’s room and see whether her or Liav needed me for something before I finally went back to my room for the day. As I took a few steps forward, I was grabbed by the wrist and spun around so fast that I tripped on my feet.
************
I saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes but before I could hit the ground, Aydan was quick enough and held me in his arms. I was breathing heavily and I looked up and Aydan who was smiling but still held me in his arms. We stayed like that until I finally came back to my senses and I coughed to break whatever moment or trance had fallen over us.
Aydan smiled and let me go.
“Thank you for that, I would have fallen to my death if it wasn’t for you,” I said but then thought about it. If he had not stopped me the way he had then I would not have nearly fallen and died. So in other words, it was all his fault I almost died.
“You are welcome,” he replied with a smirk.
It was really weird now and I had no idea what to do or say. “Why did you stop me?” I asked instead. I had to break the weirdness some way and why not ask a question?
“I wanted to do this,” he said and moved closer to me. Well too close that I could feel his body heat radiating off him and onto me. Was I dreaming or were his eyes looking at my lips?
“Do wha-” before I could finish my question, Aydan’s lips were on mine and he was kissing me.