Look Back

The Power of friendship

There is a popular saying: “Show me your friend, and I will tell you who you are.” Whether we like it or not, the friends we keep have a tremendous effect on us. Even the Bible reminds us that: “Bad association spoils useful habits” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Friends can either influence us for good or for bad.

Growing up in those days, friendships were a blessing. Although there were bad friends too, most were good and helpful. Even while playing, friends reminded one another to finish chores first, and often assisted each other with housework before going out to play. They were trusted and valued. In fact, if your mother wanted to correct you, she could complain to your friends, and they would talk sense into you. That was how reliable friends were.

Friendship was also woven into family life. When there was farm work to be done, you invited your friends, and your mother would provide food so everyone could work and eat together joyfully. Of course, when your friends needed help, you also went to support them.

School was another place that united friends. Playing in class, at break time, and after school was fun, but walking home together was the best part. In those days, there were no school buses or taxis, so we trekked home in groups, laughing, joking, and playing. Sometimes, we stopped by the field to play football before finally reaching home, even if it meant getting scolded by our parents.

Friends taught us many skills—how to climb trees, ride bicycles, swim, mold clay, or catch rabbits. We categorized our friends: casual friends (those we played football with or trekked home with), close friends (those we fetched firewood with or visited often), and best friends (one or two with whom we did almost everything together).

Good friends also provided counsel. Whenever we faced big decisions, we often consulted them before even going to our parents. Their advice was practical and encouraging. For instance, when I wanted to learn a skill after secondary school, I asked my friends whether I should choose mechanics or electrical work. Although I already preferred electrical, their encouragement boosted my confidence, and I went ahead with it. That is what good friends do—they support and strengthen you.

Of course, bad friends also existed. They tried to lure others into stealing, immorality, or rebellion. But good friends warned us against them and encouraged us to stay away. We also shared valuable lessons together. At night, we gathered to listen to stories from elders, and afterward, we would discuss the lessons we learned.

Like all humans, friends sometimes quarreled. Disputes arose when someone refused to help or behaved wrongly, leading to resentment for days or weeks. But eventually, we reconciled because friendship was too precious to waste.

The impact of good friends was lasting. They helped us become better children to our parents and better people in life. Leaving secondary school was emotional—we cried because we knew we would miss our friends. Some traveled to cities, some learned trades, while others went on to university. I had two great friends, Emeka and Ikechukwu. After school, Emeka went to the city to serve a master in electronics for seven years, Ikechukwu entered university, and I pursued electrical work before later traveling abroad. Though distance separated us, our bond and memories remained strong.

Looking back, our friendships were real and true. We had no internet, phones, or laptops, yet we gave each other time, attention, and loyalty. We sometimes made wrong decisions—because we were human—but with good friends, we shared our worries and found encouragement.

Still, we also saw how bad company could destroy lives. One of our peers, Ifeanyi, began associating with boys at the motor park. We warned him, but eventually, he fell into their ways—smoking, dropping out of school, and abandoning his future. Later, he admitted: “These guys lure you with sweet words, and before you know it, bad things seem normal.” His story proved the truth that once we allow bad company, it gradually changes our thinking and values, often without us realizing it.

Friendship is powerful. Good friends are a gift—they teach, encourage, and support us. But bad friends are dangerous—they corrupt and mislead. That is why it is said: “It is not possible to make bad friends and still hope to remain good.”

Choose the right friends, and you will experience the right impact.