Look Back

Growing up in a family with parents and siblings can be amazing, fun, and wonderful. In such an atmosphere, children learn many valuable lessons. They come to know their parents personally and build lasting bonds with their siblings as they all grow together. In the past, living with family was like attending a university of life. Parents were not only caregivers but also teachers, disciplinarians, guides, protectors, moral instructors, and counselors. Despite their busy schedules, they made time for their children. A mother, for example, would scold her daughter if she was absent from the kitchen because learning responsibility was essential. Hard work was a major part of upbringing—many families worked on farms in the morning before children even went to school. At home, children were given chores and were expected to complete them without reminders. Respect was central to family life. It was a cultural norm to show respect to elders. Looking directly into the eyes of an elder while speaking was considered disrespectful, and children were never to call elders by name but rather by titles such as Sir, Ma, Papa, or Mama. Morality was also strongly emphasized. For example, it was unacceptable for a girl to visit a boy at his house before marriage, and premarital relationships were discouraged. Virginity before marriage was a standard expectation, and those who strayed faced shame and humiliation. This strong moral training helped many young people remain chaste and disciplined. Family bonds were also nurtured through shared roles. Mothers trained their daughters to become responsible wives, while fathers taught their sons to be hardworking and honest. Fathers passed on skills and instilled the belief that hard work brings reward, while dishonesty brings disgrace. Parents led by example—they did not teach one thing and practice another. Children learned generosity, kindness, and the principle that “givers never lack,” as parents reminded them that today’s giver might be tomorrow’s receiver. Parents took personal responsibility for raising their children and rarely allowed them to live with relatives, except for short holiday visits. Children were also taught proper behavior in the presence of visitors—never lingering in the sitting room when guests arrived. Begging for food or money was forbidden; children were encouraged to be content with what they had. Life at home was full of lessons. Dressing was monitored, and modesty was the standard for both boys and girls. Parents believed that “the way you dress is the way you will be addressed.” Greeting elders was mandatory, and education was valued. Even poor families tried to send their children to elementary school, after which some learned trades if higher education was unaffordable. The firstborn, especially the first son, was trained with extra care, as parents believed that his example would shape the rest of the siblings. A popular saying reflected this belief: “If the leader of a dance makes mistakes, those following behind will scatter.” Indeed, being raised in a family was and remains a blessing. Though not every child turned out responsible—“in every twelve, there is a Judas”—most children grew into disciplined adults who made their parents proud. The family’s influence shaped their character, values, and future. Truly, the power of family should never be underestimated.