Love You As You Are

9 | Miles

Seven o’clock in the evening and I’m curled up, cocooned in the blankets, the pain back and demanding. I’d taken the pills again and the only thing that was working for me was the device. Sadly, I gave it back to the owner.

If we were back home and Martha was still on leave, I’d worry about Mr Stark’s dinner, but he can call room service. I just don’t want to move when my body is ripping itself apart. I’m sweating again and I’m silently praying I don’t have to get up and throw up again.

A knock on the door and I pulled the blanket over my head, my heart hammering in my chest. I really don’t want to see Mr Stark. Not now. I don’t think I want to be in the same room as him. He knocks again and I want to pretend to be asleep. I know for a fact he’d most likely yell at me for not eating the meal we’d stopped to buy on the way here, on Anthony’s command to ‘Emmanuel’. I got so used to calling him Mr Stark that it’d feel weird to call him by his first name.

Now that I’m thinking about it, did I moan his name or did I call him…’Mr Stark’.

I cringed at the idea. It’s not very appealing to the mind and I don’t think I want to know how that went, the same way I don’t want to know how we even got to that situation.

“Miles,” Mr Stark calls out and opens the door. I gripped the blanket over my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “This is…” I almost want the earth to swallow me before he can detect that I’m not sleeping. “Miles,” he called again. Perhaps if I stay quiet, he’d get the hint and leave. “Acknowledged, you’re in pain,” he began. “And that’s why I brought the food to your bed, but that’s still no excuse to not eat when you’ve barely eaten all day,” he said. “Get up!” I flinch, sitting up quickly. I clutched my stomach and silently whimpered, looking up at him.

He yelled at me. He just…

“This is unacceptable,” his eyes are brooding as he held a plate of yet another food in hand and a tub of ice cream in the other. I eyed the ice cream, wondering why he was giving it to me when it was his. He never even shared the ice cream with Mr Kendrick.

“I get it, okay? It didn’t take a second to let Anthony take care of you, but you’re clearly declining my help. We f****d and you don’t want to see my face, I get it. But you don’t need to starve yourself,”

I bit my lip, looking down. Guilt washed over me, my heart racing. He’s shouting at me. I don’t take shouting too well. Especially when I’m on my period. I can already feel the tears pricking my eyes. f**k, I can’t be crying right now. f**k the hormones. A whimper followed by a sniffle and I’m a mess.

“What the hell?” hearing him say that I want to cry harder. I just don’t like being shouted at. It’s the one thing I can’t seem to handle. “Okay-“ I hear him shuffling as I quietly sobbed, pulling the blankets over my shoulders. The bed dips and I’m almost tempted to scoot away. “Miles, I didn’t mean to yell,” Mr Stark says softly. “Hey, no crying,” his voice is much softer and calming now. I looked up at him. “I didn’t mean to yell at you,” he repeated. I didn’t know what to say, seeing as he was more or less apologising. “You don’t like being yelled at?” he inquired, tilting his head to study me closely. I shook my head, quieting down.

“I just need you to work with me here,” he said, offering me the ice cream. I eyed it warily, knowing very well that I’d never touch that even on my worst days and he was offering. I reached for the ice cream, and he pulls his hand back. I want to cry again because I’m craving something sweet. “After you finish your food, you can have it,” he said. I huffed out, looking away. “Hey now, you don’t have to finish it. I’m negotiating here,” he said.

I don’t know why he’s suddenly nice to me, but it’s making me feel…things. Weird things.

I grab the plate from his hand and began eating the creamy pasta. Mr Stark doesn’t move from his spot and when I look up, he’s watching me. “I’m not leaving until you are halfway into that plate, so eat up,” he says. I looked back down, shoving another full fork in my mouth. “Since…you’ve made it clear that you don’t want to talk…about what happened last night,” I tensed up when he spoke up. “I won’t push,” he said quickly. “At least tell me if you’re okay,” I looked up at him. He’s watching me closely. “You’re acting really out of character today and I’d hate to think I did that. Are we good?”

Are we good? How good? How do I respond to that when I don’t remember what happened. “Yes,” I murmured before eating again. He nodded softly before placing the ice cream between my crossed legs and the spoon as well. He stood up, walking out. I went back to my meal, eager to finish the whole so I can dig into the ice cream. “Miles,” I looked up, surprised to see him still standing by the door with a look on his face.

“Yes sir?” his eyes found mine, still deep in thoughts.

“I…” he paused, scratching the area between his eyes. “I’ve done a little research and…something doesn’t add up,” he began. “How do you know Sirenio?” I tensed yet again.

I almost regret bringing up the company. If I weren’t so eager in assisting both Mr Stark and Anthony, I’d call it quit with the project.

“Research, sir,” I responded with the same answer.

“I’m asking because…you were right, Sirenio is the best option to kickstart Anthony’s business,” he began. “But if you know your research very well, you’d know that reaching out to those people is nearly impossible. You knew of the event before they announced it,”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I mumbled looking down.

“How about the truth?” he inquired.

“I…” I bit my lip, choosing my words carefully. I can’t afford to make a mistake. “I can get them to meet with Anthony,” I said looking up at Mr Stark. “In time,” I added, clearing my throat. Mr Stark’s eyes narrow with suspicion.

“Okay,” he said after a moment of silence. “And I assume you’ll also get the invitations to the event?” he said. “We can only go there if we were invited,”

“I know,” I said. Mr Stark turns to leave then, reaching for the door to close it. “Mr Stark,” I called softly. “Thank you,” I said. He nodded and was gone. I sighed, going back to devouring the whole meal. I grabbed the ice cream and dug into it immediately, moaning in pure pleasure, as the flavour burst in my mouth. Now, I totally get why Mr Stark is always fussy about it. It’s heavenly. The sound of my phone ringing pulls me out of my blissful heavenly trance.

“Hey,” Indra greeted as soon as I swiped up the video call. “What are you eating?” she inquired.

“Ice cream,” I said. “Mr Stark’s ice cream,” I emphasised just to taunt her. She gaped at me through the screen.

“You b***h,” she gasped. “You’re sharing ice cream with Mr Stark now?”

“He gave it to me,” I said with a shrug.

“That’s weird,” she said scratching her head. “He doesn’t just hand out his favourite ice cream,”

“I don’t know,” I said after shoving a generous scoop into my mouth. “He must pity me because I’m battling my uterus right now,”

“You do look horrible,” Indra pointed out.

“Thanks,” I said with sarcasm. She giggled. “It’s raining and I can’t even enjoy it,” I groaned, looking out the window.

“Poor thing, did you take painkillers?” Indra knew how bad my cramping can get. In high school, before my transition, I remember having to be excused from class because the pain would get so intense that I can’t focus. Multiple times, I’ve been sent to the school medical centre because of the cramps.

“I’d have to take the whole pills,” I said. “I don’t wanna die yet,”

There’s a quick knock on the door and Mr Stark peeks his head in. He eyes the ice cream in hand first before his eyes find the empty plate on the nightstand. “Listen, I’m going out for some time. I won’t be long,”

“Yes sir,” I said.

“Wow, look at you two, acting like roommates,” Indra speaks up as soon as the door closes behind Mr Stark.

“He’s not bad actually,” I said. “Even though he just yelled at me and made me cry,”

“He yelled at you?”

“I wasn’t…exactly cooperating with him. He basically forced me to eat so,” I shrugged.

“Now that’s suspicious,” Indra said with a frown. “He’s actually being nice to you,”

Maybe it’s because of what happened between us. He’s trying to be make up for it, no doubt. Why else would he be doing this? It doesn’t make sense. He clearly doesn’t do this for his other…partners. s****l partners? Does that make me one of them? Am I added on the list of ‘the conquered’?

“I don’t like that look on your face,” Indra speaks up.

“I did something bad,” I said softly.

“How bad is it?”

“I don’t know,”

“Can you fix it?”

“No,”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t dwell on it,” she said softly. “I can tell something’s been bothering you all day. Maybe it’s not worth stressing over,”

“I guess,”

*****

“Well, that went better than expected,” Anthony spoke up as we piled into his office, straight after the conference meeting. I’m still pretty much blinded by the cameras. My ears are still ringing from all the questions from the press. It was too much for me and I can only imagine for Anthony. Only his sister, Eloise was sitting by his side. His whole family distanced themselves. Kevin was still angry and when he’d taken the stand, I’d held my breath, praying he doesn't reveal anything.

Fortunately, he didn’t, and he kept to his script about stepping down and letting his brother take over. The questions were rather harder on the family than Anthony himself.

Why was he not appointed CEO in the first place? What changed, after all these years? Do the parents accept Anthony’s s****l orientation now that they’re giving him his position? Does the family hate homosexual people? If yes, why? They only asked little from Anthony, only business-related questions were directed to him and he carried them with confidence and pride. He did an amazing job, if I do say so myself.

“You did great Roman,” Mr Stark spoke up.

“Thanks,” Anthony said. “Now what?” he inquired.

“Now,” I spoke up, grabbing my bag. I pulled out burgundy envelopes and placed them on the table. “You find new clients,” I said. Anthony picked up one envelope with a frown, followed by Mr Stark.

Two days after sending a request for the audience with the Sirenios, I received the invitations from someone I used to know. Not only did I bag the invitations but I also got an appointment for Anthony. The event meet up will only serve as introduction before he dives in.

“No way,” Anthony murmured in shock, gawking at the invitation. I refused to meet their eyes as I know how suspicious this look.

“There are four invites here,” Mr Stark pointed out.

“I told them the CEO of Stark Corp would like an audience as well and they gave two for each of you,” I said.

“Great,” Anthony jumped to his feet, happy. He engulfed me in a tight hug, almost suffocating me. “You’re the best,” he said. “Oh man, this s**t is lit,” he said looking at the invites. “I’m going to go with Eloise,” he said.

“I thought so too,” I interjected, despite the bitterness in my tongue. Right after Mr Stark had announced his alliance with Miss Eloise to the rest of the world, I felt horrible. I slept with him knowing that he was going to marry.

“You’re coming with me,” Mr Stark was looking right at me when I looked up.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to join you this time, Mr Stark,” I said softly.

“Is there a reason for that?”

“Personal reasons,” I said. Him and Anthony exchanged looks before looking back at me. “I wish you well and if you need help, feel free to let me know. I’ll do my best,” I told Anthony.

“We have to celebrate this,” Anthony said cheerfully.

“Miles,” Mr Stark calls me. “You’re coming with me and that’s final,” I sucked in a sharp breath.

Fuck, I’m royally screwed.

*****