The Last Mate on Earth

Part 1 - Chapter 22

* * * Hayden’s POV * * *

I can’t sleep.

No surprises there, I guess, although tonight is different. Usually it’s my brain that keeps me awake, thinking about the missions, the future and Hope (of course).

During the day, a river of thoughts is held at bay behind a dam inside my head, but each night it bursts and the river drowns any chance I had of sleep.

But tonight it’s not my mind that’s keeping me awake. It’s a feeling, a physical feeling, that somewhere in the core of my body something is leaping around. I suppose they call these ‘butterflies’, although that seems to paint a far gentler mental image than what I’m experiencing.

Mine are trapped hummingbirds, flapping tirelessly to and fro, their wings relentlessly strumming the strings of my emotions as I lie in my bunk. I find that the hairs on my arms stand on end and my skin seems to vibrate. I can’t stop my mind as it races and speaks to me. Maybe I should have had a psych evaluation. I feel like I am going crazy and hearing voices.

A small pop breaks the silence and I roll over to see Joven sitting in the glow of his reading light at his desk in the far corner of the dormitory. “It’s called bubblegum,” he says, sensing my eyes on him.

“What?” I replied.

He purses his lips and a blue bubble starts to appear. It grows and pops, splattering over his nose. “It’s vintage!” he says, throwing a small, shiny, rectangular piece of paper to me. “Try it.”

“Goddess, it smells sweet,” I said, folding back the silver foil and sniffing the blue strip of gum inside.

“Don't waste it. That stuff ain’t cheap!”

“Thank you,” I said, avoiding having to try it by subtly slipping it into the chest pocket of my jumpsuit.

“You’ve not stopped rubbing your fingers together for the past thirty minutes,” he says, and I’m suddenly aware that I’ve been massaging the spot where Hope was touching me earlier, remembering the sensation that her hands were creating on my fingers, that she was creating, as she guided my hands around that Cube.

“You know you pushed it to the line again today, dude,” Joven says, and I can’t help but feel he’s finding this subject difficult to approach. “You do realize that I could tell what was going on, both of you playing along that you were intent on completing the Rubik’s Cube, which, by the way, was obviously a totally romantic gesture on your part.”

Okay, maybe it’s not so difficult for him to approach it. “We both know she can solve that thing in no more than twenty moves. I know you can too. I’ve sat here watching you twiddle it around, slept through the constant clicking when you were figuring it out years ago. But today she repeatedly made mistakes. Purposely directing you to make wrong turns, allowing your time together to last that little bit longer.”

I didn’t say anything. What can I say? He’s totally right. “Look, if I can see it, then you can bet your next set of stitches that your dad can too, and if by some freaky miracle he can’t, then Miss Rita certainly can.”

He waits for me to fill the silence, but I’ve got nothing to say. ‘“Hayden. You’ve got to be careful. Sometimes I wish they hadn't healed you up so well. Then you’d have the scars to remind you of what happens when you break the rules here. Your dad may not punish you publicly, but he sure as hell makes you pay for it, dude.” He sighs.

“Today was the longest Hope and I’ve had physical contact,” I said, staring up at the underside of Joven’s bunk. “I know it’s forbidden.”

“Exactly! Think how many of the students have lost their jobs, or worse, for that exact reason. Aiden, Karl, that other guy with the weird nose and ears.”

“Coulson?”

“Yeah, all of them slowly falling in love with her, then pushing the boundaries of their tasks. It’s a criminal offence, Hayden! Anything that could potentially put her at risk, that’s a prison sentence, dude,” Joven warns me. “Don't think I can’t see what’s going on with you two.”

He knows me too well. He knows her too. Plus, he’s right. It’s beyond stupid. I used to laugh at those guys who came here to be students, who came here and swore their oath to the facility and then, wham, fell in love with Hope within the first few months on the job.

Coulson, Aiden, Karl … Idiots. I’d grown up with her and managed to remain professional. Always kept my intentions, my motivations clear.

Why this change?

Why now?

Where have these feelings come from? Am I jealous of the prospects?

Maybe.

Has this love been born out of the fear of losing Hope now that she’s being called upon to fulfil her destiny?

Did I just use the word love?

Maybe I’ve always loved her.

“Hello?” her innocent voice calls. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Hayden,” I replied, staring at Hope’s incredible face. Her big eyes are trying to figure me out, as though they’re staring into my mind even though we aren’t even in the same room.

“Who are you really?” she says. So smart.

I feel the nervous energy from the grown-ups surrounding me. “Cut it off,” I hear Miss Rita whisper to my father, followed by a rustle of his shirt as he moves to end this session.

“I’m a student like you,” I told Hope quickly.

My father pauses. “Just like you.”

Hope looks at me. My insides flutter.

“I’m Hope,” she says, trying to suppress a smile.

I sensed the glances around the room. “Can we be friends?” I said the line as I was instructed to before the session began.

“Maybe,” she teases.

I sigh.

“What?” Joven asks.

“Do you think …” I stopped myself asking the question.

“What?” I looked at him. I can trust him. More than anyone.

“... that she feels it too?”

He rolls his eyes, then lets his head hit the table. “Oh, my God, Hayden. I can’t believe you said that. I mean, I know you two have been getting closer, I can see that, anyone can see that, but seriously, dude, this is Hope. The person you’re talking about, the girl you’re asking me if I think she’s feeling things for you, is Hope. The. Saviour. Of. Werewolves. H.O.P.E.”

I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. “I mean, I thought that was how you were feeling but I never really thought about it. You know what I mean? I never thought you’d be dumb enough to act on those feelings. To let it start affecting our job.”

“Okay, okay, forget I said anything!”

“Oh, believe me, I will! I’m going to erase this whole conversation from my memory, then empty the trash. I can’t get kicked out. I wouldn’t survive out there, Hayden,” he says, while pretending to tip the contents of his brain into the bin next to his desk.

“I’m going for a shower. Actually, no, you are.”

“What?” I ask, as he points to the bathroom in our dormitory.

“You, shower, now. You need to cool off. Wash off this craziness and come out with a clear head. I want old Hayden back, professional Hayden, teacher's pet Hayden. Not this lovesick Romeo zombie that’s going to get us both locked up for the rest of our lives. Shower, now,” he ordered.

I reluctantly peel myself from the bed and walk to the shower with my tail between my legs. Well, that didn’t go so well, Hayden, did it, you complete dumbass? That damn voice again.

I’m not crazy. Go away.

The shower is cold but I welcome it. I need it. It’s refreshing and instantly clears my mind. The only problem is that it clears away the last fifteen-minute lecture from Joven and now all I’m left with is a fresh flutter of hummingbirds as the cold water reinvigorates them. The thing is, he may know Hope, but he doesn’t know her like I do.

This isn’t just in my head. Things have changed. We’re closer than ever before. She is mine. She is ours.

Stop it.

More importantly, whose face does she want to see? Mine or the prospects? I stepped out of the shower. The water stops automatically and the soft buzz begins of the recycling process that cleans the water and pumps it back into the system. I looked at my face in the mirror.

My deep brown eyes study themselves, searching for something. An answer? A sign? Jesus Christ, Hayden, pull yourself together.

I know I pushed the boundaries today, I can’t deny that. The rules are black and white: we must not initiate physical contact with Hope. Simple as.

But when it comes to Hope initiating physical contact with me? That is a grey area. Today was a total grey mission. I guess I went fishing with the Cube and Hope took the bait.

I can’t promise I won’t go fishing again. I dry myself and head back to my bunk. “Better?” Joven calls.

“Much better, thanks,” I replied. “Look, let’s just forget what I said earlier, okay?”

“Forget what?” he says, not bothering to look up from whatever he’s reading.

I climb on to my bed with my hummingbirds, place my hands together and get back to staring at the bunk above, thinking of what will happen next time I see Hope.