The Last Mate on Earth

Part 1 - Chapter 21

* * * Hope’s POV * * *

“It sounds so scientific and cold,” I moan, turning to Hayden, who’s been lying across the sofa in my lounge, listening to me vent ever since I left Rita’s office in a rage ten minutes ago.

It’s fair to say the encounters haven’t been my main focus over the last week, which is odd for me, seeing as I’ve been working towards them for as long as I can remember. Instead I’ve been preoccupied with thoughts of my parents, parent Hannah, Hayden, the prospects, Liam, and dealing with the unanswered questions in my mind while trying to understand what is going on.

It seems ‘what is going on’ is the successful pairing of me and Prospect Number Three, even though we’ve never met. As Prospects One and Two have been discounted – I have no idea what they’ve done with Lawrence’s body and I don’t care – after they reviewed the remaining prospects - I’m stuck with the last option on their shortlist.

I wasn’t too shocked by that piece of information, as it seemed the obvious thing for them to decide when they’re eager to get things moving. I’ve been told I don’t have to meet Prospect Number Three at all.

There’d be no room full of people standing around as we spoke for the first time, no smoke-and-mirrors tactics to vet him. The vital parts of us would come together in a laboratory, the embryos placed later in my womb to incubate and grow.

I remember Rita coming to my room two years ago and telling me what would happen after the initial meetings with the Prospects. I’d pick my favourite and would then be permitted to meet him as often as I liked.

At the right time, when my body was ready, the rebirth of the werewolves would occur. When she revealed what his body would do to mine, I was terrified.

“We’ll be there with you,” she said, in an attempt to console me, although the thought of the parents bearing witness to that act didn’t comfort me. Since then, plans for the rebirth have become more elaborate and detailed, with a week-long ceremony to mark the first stage of the rebirth.

During this time I’d come to see the importance and necessity of the deed. No longer am I so bashful at the thought. After all parent Rita’s preparation, I was surprised to hear her altered plans. Scrapping the ceremony and opting for a scientific route is a dramatic move and vastly different from how I was created.

“There’ll be fewer variables and no unexpected surprises this way. Less chance of human error,” she said, when it was clear I didn’t understand why things were changing. “It’s your decision, of course.”

“Mine?” I practically choked. I didn’t fail to notice the pleasure on her face. Now Hayden remains tight-lipped. I know exactly what he’s doing. He’s letting me get it all out so he can sweep in and rationalise everything for me once I’ve done with my frantic thoughts.

He knows there’s no point in interrupting me when I’m like this, as I won’t listen, and I know he’ll have had a fair idea of what was going to happen in parent Rita’s room before I did – so he’ll have been ready for this reaction.

Expecting it, even. It’s no coincidence that I’ve been told about the new procedure on the same day that my best friend had returned after a few days off. It’ll all be a part of their plan.

I’ve missed him. I know they’ve been punishing me by keeping him away and leaving me with the other students for company. It’ll have been parent Rita’s way of reminding me that she’s in charge of who comes in and out of my life and what goes on here.

Parent Hannah’s death is no excuse for challenging behaviour, not when we’ve been hit by a major security issue and they’ve had to rethink plans that have been years in the making.

Parent Rita is signalling that I have to respect the boundaries they’ve laid out for me, not be so ungrateful or cheeky. And I was incredibly cheeky. Asking about Hayden’s real family and questioning the facility was certainly bold of me.

Brazen, even. Going on to admit how much I liked his company was plain foolish on a variety of levels. It was the first time I’ve actually admitted out loud how I feel.

I’ve suspected the school is orchestrated. It’s never mattered. Like I’ve said before, I’ve always been glad of the company. But now I know that a large part of my feelings towards him are very real.

I’ve allowed them to control when he’s with me. I’ve managed not to ask after him or point out that things aren’t running according to our normal schedules. I’ve resisted temptation, which hasn’t been the easiest thing to do when I’m starting to see through the cracks.

I think of my mother and wonder whether I’m wrong to doubt the life they’ve built for me when she was so willing to be here. She put her faith in them, and trusted parent Rita. She must’ve had good cause to.

Plus, I can’t ignore the fact they’re allowing me to make a decision about my future. A decision that’ll affect all of us … But then I think of Liam and how he didn’t try to spoil me, of parent Hannah and her husband, and of Hayden, and wonder whether I’ve ever really made a decision, or had a true thought, when the facts I’ve been given have been tampered with.

My reality has holes in it. I need to start poking around so that I can see things a little more clearly. So, when it comes to making this decision about Prospect Number Three and dismissing the others, I’m dubious as to whether or not it’s all a trick.

Whether they’re trying to coax me into agreeing to something for their own benefit or whether it’s genuinely up to me. If the decision truly were my own, regardless of all the other thoughts littering my brain, I still wouldn’t be sure of what I wanted. The encounters have lost all their appeal. I don’t know if I’m open to going through another after two truly horrific experiences.

Perhaps letting science do its thing would make things easier. Perhaps I should allow them to extract and reposition my eggs, once they’ve been fertilized by Prospect Number Three’s winning sperm. It simply doesn’t seem as special as the rebirth ceremony I’ve been preparing for.

“It all seems so sudden,” I say, my hands working on the anti-stress ball in my hand, in the hope that it’ll ease the frustration and anxiety I’m currently feeling.

“Hope.” He sighs, his fingers twiddling the ends of his hair.

“We’re not talking about meeting a prospect, just about being fast-tracked through and partnered up due to a series of failures. Whether I meet him or not, I could be pregnant within weeks. I don’t know if I’m ready,” I whispered, turning to him with my hand over my heart, my face anxiously screwed up.

“It’s overwhelming,” he notes calmly, barely moving.

“Yes.”

I’ve continued reading my mum’s words, and it’s become blindingly obvious how prepared she was to have me. Things haven’t happened for me as I’d always thought they would, so I don’t feel that way. I’m like a little girl still. Not like a mother at all.

“The outcome and desired results are still the same as before, Hope. That’s not changed,” Hayden says, closing his eyes.

“They’re just looking at new ways of achieving the prolonged existence of our race without putting the only hope we have of survival in danger.”

“The prolonged existence of our race? Have you heard yourself? You’re talking about a baby. My baby!” I said, forgetting for a second that this is Hayden.

Mum seems so jolly and upbeat in her letters. She doesn’t seem bogged down by pressure or as though she’s struggling to cope with the world expecting her to deliver its saviour. She sounds like a happy mum excited to meet her daughter.

Our outlook is so different, and it pains me that the one woman who could have shared some of my anxieties can’t hear them.

“You won’t be forced into the same awful position as last time,” Hayden says, sitting up while offering an apologetic look. “They don’t want the same mistakes to be made.”

“I should think not,” I grumbled.

“They want you to be comfortable.”

“Yeah, right.”

“They do,” he says, and adds softly, “I do.”

My heart does a little dance. Part of me knows I should be wary. Hayden could still be a part of their plan. But I can’t stop the way he makes me feel. I’ve always loved being around him, but, I can’t help remembering that he is the director's son.

“So, do you want to meet him?” He asks, breaking into my thoughts as he takes a deep breath in and reclines once more.

“I don’t know. Is there any real need for a conversation between him and me?” I frowned, the weight of the decision slamming down on me and my emotions.

“Does it matter if I like him? And by like him, I mean simply find him agreeable – I’m not holding out hope for much more than that, given who they’ve previously paired me with. I mean, who was in charge of vetting them? Did they just pick names out of a hat?”

Hayden throws his head back and laughs. It’s not the cute little giggle I’m accustomed to. It’s bigger. Bolder. It has to be the real him. I like it.

“I need some air,” I huffed, putting down the stress ball and stalking out of the door, arms swinging rigid at my sides. I can’t bear my room any longer. Here I’m trapped in my whirlwind of thoughts. “Come on,” I called behind me.

Whether or not he’s here to give me guidance, I don’t want him to leave me just yet. Not when he’s been gone for so long. “Coming,” he calls, jumping to attention and trailing my heels as we follow the path to our usual spot.

My bedroom, the dining room, the classroom, the ocean view – that’s all I ever see, other than a cold examination room and the occasional trip to my spot outside. It’s my routine and it’s all I know. It’s all they’ve allowed me to see.

Over the years I’ve felt trepidation over what will take place in these few weeks and this first year, but now it’s arrived, my anxiety runs in a way I’ve never expected. I don’t want my greater understanding of the world to come after I fall pregnant. I don’t want to feel I’ve got only half of the picture when providing the world with my offspring. I don’t want knowledge and understanding to come too late.

“There’s no rush to decide,” Hayden says, as he lowers himself with no regard for the drop below the castle turret. Today he is wearing cargo shorts and a black t-shirt. I like it.

“What do you think I should do?” I asked, the pleading whine in my voice making me shudder. I want his opinion.

“I can’t answer that.”

“But you always do,” I said, shocked, as I turned to him.

“No, I don’t.” He frowns.

“Seriously? Hayden. You can be quite persuasive,” I squealed. “I’m sure you’ve talked me into numerous things over the years.”

“Hope!”

“Are you going to deny it?” I challenged.

He was looking a little hurt and uncomfortable. “I never make you do anything you don’t want to, Hope… Do I?”

“No. I guess not,” I said, not wanting to offend him and wishing I could nudge his shoulder affectionately to check in with him that he’s okay. “But you always have an opinion to share.”

“This is different. It has to be your decision,” he says, his face not losing its frown. “Your choice. It’s your body. I … can’t imagine what it would be like to do either.”

“What – science or intercourse?” I blushed. Not because it’s the choice I’m faced with, but because I’m speaking about the rebirth with my Hayden.

Yes, ours. Woah. What was that?

Once more, the sight of his face and sweaty muscular body stirs in my memory. I don’t think I’d find the decision so difficult if I were talking about him.

Although maybe the fact that I’m so disappointed it’s not him should help me reach my verdict. I know I have a duty to the world, but I can’t be forced into having feelings for someone. If I met Prospect Number Three and there was nothing, I’d be crushed. If I really disliked him I’d be devastated. In my silence, Hayden reaches behind him.

When he brings his hand back to his lap he’s holding a Baseball. “Where did you get that from?” I ask, glancing behind me and wondering how long it’ll be before parent Rita comes marching along to reprimand me and drag me back to my room, or whether they’ll decide simply to remove Hayden from me again.

“It’s fine. I’ve cleared it. It’s mine. I also have this.” He smiled as he pulled out a rubix cube.

“I figured it would help to clear your mind. This place in the clouds, your silly little toys… it’ll help.”

Despite myself, I feel the corners of my mouth twitch into a smile and my own frown easing away. “You can’t touch it, though, they’re scared you throw it up towards the dome again.” He warns, his voice stern while his eyes twinkle. He’s pleased with himself.

“Oh!” I replied, my breath catching in my throat.

“You just have to tell me what to do,” he explains, licking his lips and looking at the Cube with an intense glare, as though he’s entirely focused on the task ahead. “You know I’ve always been rubbish with these.”

“Now you might actually complete one,” I teased.

“Hey. I’ve done it before, remember?” He says, the pitch of his voice raising an octave in protest.

“Only because you painstakingly removed all the stickers and cheated.” I laughed, feeling my body tilt towards his.

“I got what I wanted, though, didn’t I? Sometimes a little cheating is good for the soul.”

“It made you feel good?” I asked, finding his response surprising.

“It did until you sussed it out and made me confess to being a cheat. You even told the parents on me,” he adds, pretending to be wounded.

“You’d roughed up the edges of the stickers. I could see exactly what you’d done, so of course I knew.” I recall the look on his innocent face when I called him out on it all those years ago, then watched parent Connie give him a stern talking-to.

“Imagine how good you’d feel if you did it properly.”

“Are you forgetting it’s just a toy?” He asks, his eyebrows raised.

“You’ll get a real sense of achievement.”

“Let’s test your theory,” he says, holding the colourful object in front of us.

“Fine,” I smile, my eyes absorbing the pattern of colours while my brain works out the best way to start.

“Put your right hand on the top section and rotate it just once to the left …”

Hayden misunderstands my instruction and turns the top two thirds of the Cube rather than just the upper layer.

“No!” I shrieked, stifling a laugh at how my insides churned with anxiety at his mistake – perhaps he’s right and I do need to remember that it’s just a toy. “Go back to where we started.”

He does as I ask.

“Right,” I say, looping my arm through his so that my right hand hovers above his. I curl my fingers as though the Cube is in my own hands and repeat the instruction, showing him what to do.

“Now turn the Cube around so that the yellow of this side is at the bottom and …”I demonstrated.

He understands and turns. “That’s three yellows in a row!” He yelps, delighted with himself.

“You really did cheat if you think that’s an achievement.” I giggled, sweeping my hair away from my face and over the opposite shoulder from where Hayden is sitting.

His eyes snatch a glimpse of my newly exposed neck and I notice his lips give the smallest pout in response before he focuses back on the Cube. My body tingles at this new level of intimacy and craves more.

I tentatively fed my arm through his again so that we could continue as before, but this time I didn’t say a word. I just instruct with my hands. He mirrors them perfectly, taking note of exactly how my hands rotate, turn and manipulate before doing the same with his own.

A silence might’ve fallen between us, but something entirely new is being communicated. I feel him. I know that’s absurd, but I do. With our arms interlinked and our bodies sitting closer than usual, we’re sharing a new energy.

I’m aware of his every breath working its way in and out of his body, each and every muscle as he mimics my movements, and that he is just as aware of the change as I am. It’s not in my imagination.

It’s real.

I know he feels it too. It’s titillating, tantalising, and stirs an inexplicable hunger inside me. I want him. I don’t need words to define the thoughts being shared, not when my insides are flipping with excitement at the tingling sensation of his body next to mine.

“We’ve done it,” he says quietly, holding the completed puzzle in his hands, neither of us engaged in the game any longer. We remained in silence.

My thoughts are focused on the heat passing down the right side of my body. It’s real. The feelings that are being stirred are here and alive, and I won’t have anyone tell me different. Time passes. It could be seconds, or it could be hours. I’ve no idea. “I should go.” He says and gets to his feet.

He starts to say something else, but stops himself. Instead, he turns on the heels of his feet and heads towards the inside of the castle.

“I’ve made a decision,” I called, looking at the clouds beyond my feet. “I’ll go for science.”

I don’t need to turn to know that he’s gone.