Guarded heart

Chapter 25 exhausted

LISA'S POV

Sunday went by quickly. The whole family came together for breakfast and lunch before my parents flew out to join Summers parents. That evening Chris came by with a pizza hut delivery guy. It was the daily gift. But no sooner Chris arrived he had to go as a call came in and he was on duty. I understood but I was disappointed we didn't get much time to chat.

Monday I went home like I discussed with Summer. I was glad my family were giving me the space I needed. Me and Emma had a quite day doing arts and craft and I enjoyed finally having a daughter and mummy day since we didn't manage it the Sunday. Chris came by around dinner time with the daily gift a coat from superdry and I was shocked people where still all for this daily gift thing. Chris Only stayed for one drink as he was again on duty. He looked tired and I felt bad for him.

Tuesday Me and Emma spent the morning making a cupcakes with Jade's help in using the oven. She refused to allow me to do it myself in fear I'd get burnt. Chris popped by before his night shift he looked less tired to my relieve. I asked if he wanted to join us for dinner but he said he had promised to join his dad for dinner before his night shift. The daily gift was the £100 gift voucher from JD Sports.

CHRIS POV

The night shift no one wants had to happen to me I thought. Last call of the night shift was to a*****e where it was held up to armed robbery. Some stupid i***t after drug money waving a knife around. When we attended we quickly got the situation under control. But no sooner we thought things were under control a little old man who held a pint of milk in his hand collalsped on the floor going into cardiac arrest. I gave him CPR until the paradmics arrived but it was no use the poor bloke sadly didn't make it. And I was feeling deflated as I walked out of work with Lisas daily gift. If planned on going by to Lisas later on in the day but I changed my mind after that. I wanted to see her smiley face so I went and grabbed breakfast for me Lisa and Emma. If anyone could cheer me up before I went to sleep I was sure it would be these two I thought to myself as I pulled up into Lisas drive.

I just hoped I wasn't going to be waking them up as it was just gone 8am.

KNOCK KNOCK

"There in the kitchen" Beth says opening the door and seeing me stood there.

"Thanks" I say entering and heading for the kitchen.

When I walk into the kitchen I hear Emma laughing and I wonder what made this little girl laugh so much so early in the morning.

"Good morning" I say and Lisa turns to look at me as Emma shouts "Chris" while running over to me. I put the bags on the table before I pick Emma up. "What did you bring so early in the morning?" Lisa says. I look at Lisa before I look at Emma and say "Emma tell me have you had breakfast yet?" I ask.

"No, mummy was just telling me how there use to be toys in cereal boxes when she was younger and uncle Ryan got on stuck in his mouth" and suddenly I can see what made Emma laugh so much. I smile while saying "That's true, I use to like the toys when I was a little. It's a good job you haven't had breakfast yet as I brought you breakfast" I say.

"What did you bring?" Emma asks.

"Pancakes with fruit and chocolate sauce" I say placing Emma at a seat on the table. I then turn to Lisa and say "Is that okay?".

Lisa looks at me and our eyes meet. She takes a moment before she says "Sure, then you can tell me what's wrong?".

"What do you mean?" I ask starting to unpack the breakfast.

"I told you before I could tell when you had a bad shift at work when you showed up at the cafe and if I'm not wrong I'm going to say it was a bad shift" Lisa says.

"hmm mm, not a conversation for little ears" though I say grabbing some plates.

"I know, but my ears are not that little after breakfast when even smaller ears are not present you can tell me then" Lisa says. And I look at Lisa and just know I made the right choice in falling for this women. She knows me by a look and has a heart of gold.

I dish the breakfast up and take a seat next to Lisa. Lisa takes my hand in hers under the table while squeezing it gently bit doesn't let go while we eat breakfast and chat away with Emma about her favourite Disney Princess. I can't help but think I'd love to spend every bad shift coming home to a little family like this to make me smile again. To call my own. And I want this family unit right in front of me.

Before I knew it breakfast was over.

"Okay Emma you go find Jade or Beth get them to put your movie on upstairs I will join you in a little while" Lisa says.

"Can't Chris help me?" Emma says.

"No, Chris and mummy are going to have a quick conversation. Plus Chris is tired he was at work all night" Lisa says.

"It's fine, I don't mind. Let me do it for Emma then I will come down and tell you" I say smiling at Lisa.

"Only if your sure" Lisa says.

"Okay little princess lead the way" I say standing up and Emma come running over to me. Holding her arms up and I quickly lift her into my arms and start walking to the stairs.

"You need to remind me where your room is" I say even though I remember but I want to make Emma feel like she has a important job in leading the way.

"This way" Emma says full of beams pointing to the top of the stairs.

LISA'S POV

I awaited for Chris to come back downstairs. I'd already checked out the daily gift and I already loved it, taken a picture and done the daily update on f*******:.

Then I had gone sat on the sofa while I waited for Chris to join me. He didn't take long. Chris sat next to me and said "Beauty and the beast was the choosen Disney film today"

"Emma loves all her Disney princess films and takes ages to choose which one to watch" I say smiling.

"I noticed she literally choose like a few minutes ago" Chris says smiling.

"I'm sorry she took so long" I say.

"It's fine, I didn't mind. Plus I discovered that Emmas favourite colour today is yellow" Chris says.

"you noticed she changes her mind like a yoyo on her favourite colour then" I say.

"I did" Chris says and I wonder if he is beating around the Bush on wants bothering him.

"So what happened at work?" I ask.

"It was a last call we were attended and just when we thought things were under control a old man collapsed and went into cardiac arrest. I was the closest and did my best before the ambulance crew arrived but ut was to late" Chris says.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure you did everything you could. You shouldn't blame yourself" I say.

"I don't. I blame the criminal that caused him to be overcome with emotions as I'm sure that's what triggered it" Chris says as I take his hand in mine.

"That's so sad. I feel for you all seeing that and the man's family" I say not knowing what else to say. But I understand the why Chris seems unhappy now.

"I know, but seeing you smile and Emma telling me about her favourite things makes ending my day before sleep more worthwhile" Chris says.

"Well feel free to stay for enoygehr cuppa if it helps" I say.

"Can I rest something else instead?" Chris asks.

"What is that?" I ask.

"A cuddle if that's okay?" Chris says.

"Of course" I say and Chris wraps a arm around my shoulder and leans me into him before I have a chance to move. "Thankyou" Chris says.

"No problem" I say.

We stay like that for a few minutes without words as I don't know what else I can say to comfort Chris. But then I hear light snoring and look up to see Chris has fallen asleep. I leave it a few more minutes before I sneak up stairs and just leave to Chris to sleep. I decided to join Emma in Disney Princess movies until Chris woke up. The bloke must be exhausted I thought to myself.

After each beauty and the beast finished I had Jade bring up loads of food and drink for us to munch on throughout the day. She said she had covered Chris with a blanket. Beth also joined us for the movie day and it was us girls sat watching the movies much to Emma's delight.

After moana Jade and Beth decided to go some sparing with some of the other security guards out in the garden. However me and Emma continued our Disney princesses to binge watch. Next up was snow White. Then we watched frozen. By this point I wondered when Chris would wake up and if he needed to be woken up or not. I decided on one more film with Emma before I woke Chris up and prayed it would be the right thing to do. I also prayed be would wake up before the movie ended because j hate the thought of having to wake Chris up when he must be tired after his night shift.

I was very surpised when Emma changed the Disney theme from Disney Princesses to lion King. Not that I minded I quite liked the lion King. We snuggled up together on the bean bags with one under my foot as well as pillows surrounding us. Lion King started and we got stuck into it. For me a nice welcome change and I was excited the lost about this film out of them all today. Mainly because its not a regular one I see.

CHRIS POV

When I woke up I couldn't believe I had fallen asleep at Lisas. I remembered being cuddled up with Lisa and that's the last thing I could remember. Now I'm sat her asleep on the sofa with a blanket over me. I wondered where Lisa was. And I wondered what time it was. I looked up at the clock on the wall to see it was just gone half four in the afternoon. I had a few hours before my night shift tonight.

I decided I better find Lisa and apologise for falling asleep. I got up and checked the kitchen it was all quite. So I figured I'd check up stairs while also using the bathroom. I headed up stairs and on the way to the bathroom I hear Emma and Lisa singing Elton John. "Can you feel the love tonight" and suddenly I realise Lisa is singing a love song.

I followed the singing all the way to Emma's bedroom. I stood in the door way while I watched them singing along to the lion King. When the song finished they stopped singing and went back to watching the film.

"I didn't think you sang love songs?" I say

"Your awake" Lisa says turning her head to smile at me.

"Yes sorry I fell asleep" I say.

"It's fine, you must of needed the sleep" Lisa says.

"I must of indeed" I say.

"Chris come join us, we are watching lion King" Emma says.

"I just need to use the bathroom first" I say

"You don't have to join us if you don't have time. And I can go down get you a drink ro something if you like?" Lisa says.

"It's fine" I say and Lisa smiles at me.

I quickly go use the bathroom before I go back in to join Lisa and Emma for the rest of the film which I know hasn't got much longer left probabky about 20 minutes. Just enough time for me to wake up a little more before driving home to get ready and some food before tonight's shift.

"Did you sleep okay?" Lisa whispers.

"Yes thankyou" I whisper back.

"I difnt know if I should of spoken you sooner or not" Lisa whispers

"It's fine, if anything it was kind of you to allow me to sleep" I whisper.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Lisa whispers.

"I wouldn't want to impose anymore than I already have" I whisper back

"It's fine, honestly I'd be glad more adult company. It's monthly meeting night for the bodyguards anyway" Lisa whispers.

"Only if your sure then" I whisper

"I'm positive you would be saving me from more Disney talk and movies today" Lisa whispers.

"Well since you put it that way, I should help save you from such a thing" I whisper.

"Shh! Your ment to be watching the movie" Emma says

"Sorry" Me and Lisa say at the same time. Then we both look at each other and smile while trying not to laugh at being told off by the little person in the room.

We watched the rest of the film quietly while sneaking looks at eavh other at first trying to not laugh still. But it was writtern all over our faces how much we wanted to laugh. When the film came to a end I helped Lisa stand up before we headed down stairs.

Lisa went to the kitchen and asked if I'd pass a few potatoes out of the veg rack under a counter the opposite side of the room to Lisa. I happily obliged passing some over. Lisa stood balancing on the side while washing the potatoes. I admired how Lisa seems to be adjusting better to the crutches now. Even if she has odd moments of getting distracted with me around that I have to catch her from falling.

Lisa then rolled the potatoes along the side while she also used the side to help keep her up as she shuffled round the counter to the microwave. She then took more potatoes out the microwave and stabbed them all with a knife while saying.

"I prepared tonight's dinner last night. It's jacket potatoes with salad. I hope that's okay?"

"That's fine thankyou" I say.

"Great then could you get the salad bowls out the fridge ready please. I chopped up alsorts into different tubs and bowls ready to pick out to add to the dinner tonight. There will be plenty as I chopped way to much up knowing I'd eat it one way or another with different meals anyway." Lisa says.

" Okay" I say heading to the fridge.

I get out the salad stuff and place them on the side while Lisa finished stabbing the potatoes before putting them in the microwave and then getting plates out from the china cupboard, as well as the clutery out the draw.

"Feel free to help yourself to drinks. I'm getting better and adjusting to these things but carrying drinks is still something I have to master unless it's in a bottle with a lid" Lisa says.

"Do you want a drink?" I ask.

"It's okay, I'm getting use to drinking bottled water these days unless Jade or Beth make me a cuppa" Lisa says.

"I can make you a cuppa if you like?" I say.

"It's fine, I've got a bottle of water on the go I want to finish anyway" Lisa says.

"What about Emma would she like a juice or milkshake or anything?" I ask.

"Emma would love a milkshake. I make up juices and stuff in bottles each night that are kept in the fridge. But I'm sure she would love a milkshake as something different" Lisa says.

"Then one milkshake coming right up" I say going to make the milkshake alongside myself a cuppa.

"Thanks" Lisa says.

"it's okay" I say.

By the time the drinks are made the pototoes are cooked. Lisa is putting them on plates while shouting "Emma dinner is ready". I hear foot steps coming running from the landing upstairs then onto the stairs before Emma comes bounding into the kitchen

"Emma King! What have I told you about running young lady?" Lisa says while looking at Emma with a raised eyebrow and she looks so damn hot right now.

"But mummy, I was worried you would need help and fall again" Emma says

"When did mummy fall?" I ask

"I don't know, I heard aunty summer and uncle Sean talking about mummy falling over or something" Emma says

"Well I'm fine Emma, now please tell me what salad would you like?" Lisa says while placing butter into Emma's jacket potato

"Ham, cheese, cucumber please mummy" Emma says.

"Okay, now go wash your hands while I finish making your dinner. But no Running otherwise your be the one having a fall" Lisa says.

"Okay mummy" Emma says and I can't help smiling at how Emma and Lisa are so cute together when interacting with eavh other. You can tell they adore each other very much.

LISA'S POV

After I finished making everyone's dinner Emma carried hers to the table, Chris carried mine and his to the table. He then put the salad stuff away much to my dismay and protest before he sat down to eat his dinner as well.

Dinner went well. Chatter and laughter was held between us all but it was over to soon and then Chris had to go in order to get ready in time for his night shift. I don't know why I was little disappointed when Chris left. My age it's because we have barely seen eavh other as much as we usually do this week.

After Chris left I helped Emma with her bath making sure to wrap a couple blankets around the silly cast. Then I read a few books to Emma before she feel peacefully to sleep. I don't know how long I sat watching Emma sleep for. But I know that I loved my little girl in front of me. I loved how she was turning into a caring and loving little girl. She amazes me everyday even when she is being a pickle I still wouldn't change her for the world or even the moon. I often worried incase she would turn into a bad egg growing up having her fathers dna in her. But these past few years I've slowly realised its not the dna that counts its definitely how you raise a child. And Emma certainly is a lovely little girl who I can already tell won't turn into a bad egg much to my relief.

I eventually left Emma's room to go to my own and get ready for my own shower. A decking chair has become a temporary permanent fixture to my bathroom in order for me to shower everyday. I missed my shower this morning but I wasn't planning on going out anyway so a lazy day wasn't that much of a issue. I had a shower and instead of hair drying my hair I opted to leave it to dry naturally over night tonight. Plus it would help keep me cool over night. I opted for my shirts and strappy stop type pj's to add in keeping me cool. Once I was all ready for bed I looked at the time and see it was just gone 9:30pm. I decided then to watch a movie in bed.

However I couldn't stay focused on the movie and I kept wondering how Chris's night shift was going. I wondered if it would be a better night or not. I prayed it would be a better night than last night. I hate seeing Chris sad. Even before all this, before I discovered Chris was a policeman. Before we decided to date I could always tell when he was having a sad day when he walked into the cafe. There was always something about Chris's sad days that just made me want to do something to make it better. I just never knew what that something was though. I still don't really know now what I can do on these sad days. But then that's just part of getting to know each other I remind myself mentally.

I decided to turn the TV off and try to get some sleep.

"No Simon I don't want to talk to you" I say.

"I don't care what you want your going to talk to me" Simon says grabbing my wrist and it hurts so bad as he drags me into the women's toilets.

"Get off me" I say hissing through the pain in my wrist as I try to yank my hand away.

"Just stop being a pain and listen to me. I don't want anyone else just you" Simon says focusing me to look at him while he yanks on my arm.

"You lost your chance now get off me" I say trying to free my arm but it's no use. Simon locks the main door to the toilets.

"What are you doing let me go" I say beyond angry now.

"Not until you listen to me" Simon says.

"I don't want to hear it. Your a asshole now let me go before I scream this place down" I say.

"you wouldnt dare" Simon says squeezing my wrist harder that I slap him hard across the face trying to free myself.

"You little b***h" Simon says slapping me across the face before pushing me against a cubicle door while using one hand to cover my mouth. I but his hand but he knees me in stomach and I double over. He slaps me across the face again "Do that again and I will make sure you have no teeth left. And as punishment I'm going to get what you should of given out to start with. Now be a good little girlfriend and play nicely" Simon says as pins my arms above my head and forces his toingue into my mouth as he rips my clothes from body. No matter how I try to fight him off I can't and my tears just stream down my face.

The but his mouth only leaves mine to bite me over my body and all I can do is try to say "Get of me. I can't even shout because I'm crying to much I can barely speak. But in my head I'm screaming get off me as I feel him enter me full force with no mercy and his knees forcing my legs open while he does as he please.

"GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!"

"Lisa, what's wrong?" I hear Jade say as she shakes me away. I sit up crying as I cling to Jade and I'm glad she woke me before I got anymore onto that nightmare. It was replaying the whole god damn awful event. I could feel his hands on me again. His breath on my skin and my whole body felt like it was crawling.

"Get Summer to get Emma. I don't want to see anyone. I need a day or two" I say to Jade as my tears calm down.

"It was that nightmare again wasn't it?" Jade says.

"I don't want to walk about it. Please just get Summer to take Emma. Or Ryan or someone. Just I want to be alone for a while" I say getting out of the bed and heading to the bathroom.