Guarded heart

Chapter 26 Dodge ball lessons.

CHRIS POV

After last night's night shift I had gone home and slept the day away. I was glad I wasn't doing a night shift tonight. Buy I had a evening shift tomorrow night so I still needed to catch up on sleep. I would be glad for Saturday when I get a day off.

I woke up at 5pm. I then got ready and swung by the police station to grabs todays daily gift for Lisa. Before I headed over to Lisas.

When I arrived I was shocked to see Hahley, Katy and Hahley, Beth and Jade sat outside Lisas front door. I wondered where Lisa was as I turned the car off and got out.

"Chris now isn't a good time for the daily gift" Hahley says.

"Why?" I ask

"Have you not spoken with Lisa today?" Summer asks

"No I've been sleeping after a night shift. Why whats wrong?" I ask and I know something is wrong because all of there faces are full of worry. I see in day in and day out from the members of public when I attend calls.

"Lisa had a rough night" Katy says.

"What do you mean rough night?" I ask.

"You see Chris every now and then the nightmares come back for a day or two. They never fully really went away they just get longer between periods. It just happens that last night was a unlucky night" Summer says

"So why are you all sat out here?" I ask.

"That's why we are worried. Usually one of us or all of us will just stay with Lisa for a few days until she is back to being Lisa. But this time she kicked us all out. She demanded someone take Emma so she was looked after while she took time to be alone" Hahley says.

"And that makes you all worried?" I ask.

"Yes" they all practically say at the same time.

"Okay, who has the key?" I ask.

"We can't just let you go in" Beth's says.

"Well she never told me to stay away. And unless she does then I'm going to at least try to make sure she is okay" I say.

"He has a point so far she has screamed at each off us to get out" Katy says.

"She may scream at you as well or even throw something at you. Last person to check ended up with the last of the pillows thrown at them. So be warned it might not be a soft object" Hahley says.

"Here's the key and good luck" Summer says handing me the key.

I unlock the door and step inside.

"Upstairs" Beth says.

"Thanks" I say as I close the door.

If Lisa has been upstairs for hours she might be thirsty so I went and grabbed her a bottle of water first. Then I headed upstairs. I walked past Emma's room. Past the bathroom. And I soon found myself standing in the door way to Lisas bedroom looking at Lisa who was staring at the ceiling above her. She looked lost in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I say

"Please not today Chris, I know I have people camped outside my house they should of warned you to stay away" Lisa says.

"Oh they said you were having a bad day. But I have a daily gift to deliver on behalf of many people you have already met" I say walking into Lisas bedroom and opening the curtains.

"What are you doing? I don't want them open" Lisa says.

"And? It won't matter anyway because I'm taking you out for dinner. And I won't leave until you agree to dinner with me" I say.

"I'm not in the mood for dinner" Lisa says.

"Trust me your love it" I say

"No i will hate it. Because there will be to many people around" Lisa says.

"I promise there wont and of you regret it afterwards then I don't know you can have me jump in a pond next or something" I say.

"Why do you want to take me out? Hmm? Can't you see I'm broken. Can't you see the damage that was done to me. My skin crawls just thinking about it how can't your skin crawl looking at me?" Lisa screams.

"Because I don't see any of that, I see a women who is anything but broken. Yes grange dyour having a bad day and there allowed but your pick yourself up and carry on that I'm sure off because your strong. Now get dressed and meet me down stairs in half hour otherwise I'm going to carry you to the car in your pjs" I say.

"You wouldn't!" Lisa says

"Wouldnt I? Or are you challenging me to see if I would go through with it because you secretly want me to carry you down the stairs because your tired?" I say

"That's not it at all" Lisa says

"Prove it then" I say and with that I leave Lisa all alone knowing she hates being challenged.

"I hate you right now Chris!" Lisa shouts.

"I know and I can live with that" I shout back as I start walking down the stairs.

"Ahhh" I hear Lisa scream.

"twenty nine minutes remaining" I shout up the stairs.

Then I take a seat on the sofa and wait.

I could hear movement from upstairs and I knew Lisa was getting dressed. I knew she was accepting the challenge of walking downstairs alone without my help.

I then pulled my phone out and put a order through for dinner. That way by the time Lisa was ready the food would be ready to collect. I then went grabbed some cutlery from Lisas kitchen to take with us. I already had blankets in the car so I didn't need to worry about them. But I quickly went outside and had summer get some pillows to put in my boot. She wanted to know why and I told her I was taking Lisa out for dinner and it would help with the comfort of Lisas leg. She didn't believe Lisa would leave the house but she got the pillows just incase for me.

I went back inside and continued to wait. I checked the time and Lisa had 10 minutes left only I could already hear Lisa in the landing upstairs. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and awaited for Lisa to reach the bottom. All the while Lisa was muttering to herself how one day she would seriously lose her mind with a few people.

When Lisa reached the bottom she looked up at me with raised eyebrows. "See I have no issue of tackling stairs" Lisa says annoyed.

"Great so you won't be scared to have dinner with me then" I say walking to the front door and opening it.

"I'm not scared!" Lisa says.

"Prove it!" I say as if it's not a big deal.

"I hate you right now. Definitely no liking vibes for you or any male on the planet. But I will prove I'm not scared then still make you swim in a duck pond even if its not a crowed place" Lisa says

"Fine by me" I say raising my eyebrow back at Lisa.

"Damn he don't take no for a answer" I hear Beth say from outside the the front door.

Lisa hobbles her way outside while giving everyone death glares and I lock up the house as I follow Lisa while walking past all the gathered females who are now looking at me wide eyed looking shocked as houses.

When we got into the car Lisa sat with her arms crossed looking out the passenger window. She showed no signs of wanting to talk or interact. That was fine I said we were going for dinner not that she had to talk to me. I drove to the Chinese shop to pick up our order.

"I'm not getting out this car for any place crowded" Lisa says

"That's fine. I won't make you do anything you don't want to. I simply wanted to get you out the house distracted from whatever has you tied up in knots today's" I say.

"Don't act like you don't know. I know you know. No doubt the girls told you already" Lisa says looking out the window still.

"They did tell me what happened. But they said this time was different your pushing everyone away. And there worried about you. So I wondered what's different this time" I ask.

"I don't want to talk about it" Lisa says.

"That's fine. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" I say pulling up to the Chinese takeaway.

"Why have we stopped?" Lisa asks looking around

"Don't worry, I'm just collecting our food we are not eating here" I say. Lisa doesn't sat anything she just rests her head against the passenger window closing her eyes. With that I take it as my cue to grab dinner.

I hurry inside the Chinese shop and hurry back out again the second it's ready. I see Lisa is still looking out the window although she looks lost in deep her thoughts.

I wonder what's going through her head as I put the food on the. Back seat before getting back into the car myself.

"Would you like some music?" I ask as I start the engine back up, trying to make some conversation.

Lisa briefly looks at me but it's a look as if she is looking through me. "You can decide" Lisa says before looking back out the passenger window.

"I will let you choose as and when your ready" I say as I start to pull away and head to our destination.

I decided to stay quiet as sometime people just need some peace to move through things in life.

Half way to our destination Lisa's phone starts to ring and she answers it.

"Thankyou for getting back to me. I really need your help" Lisa says sound relieved and I wonder who she is talking to.

"Well you know about the nightmares. And you know I'm in cast. So tell me how do I deal with the aftermath this time? I'm literally out of ideas. I can't go kick the s**t out of a punching bag, I can't go on a baking spree and I can't even make the garden fences colourful because of this stupid leg. So tell me what else can I do?" Lisa says.

Then she goes quite. While listening. But I can't hear what the other person is saying.

"No i don't want to give darts ago do you think in some kinda old bloke in a pub?" Lisa says and I can't help mentally laugh at the remark.

"Well I don't know. Your there therapist you tell me what I can do that actually suits me before you end up suspecting knitting next" Lisa says and again I'm sat here as we start to pull up to one of my favourite forest spots trying not to laugh.

I turn the engine off then I hear Lisa says

"Well your clearly not that much of a help if you can't think of a way to help me right now" Lisa says.

I get out the car and leave Lisa to her phone call while I set out the blanket on the floor with the plates. Then I go back to the car and grab the football I keep in there for whenever me and the lads decide on a kick around. I also grab the pillows I got from Lisas and set them out ready. When I reach the car I see Lisa is still on the phone so I lean against the bonnet of the car and wait patiently.

LISA'S POV

I swear I was losing my mind not knowing how to let this anger out. I'd scrubbed my skin until it hurt to scrub it anymore. And all I really wanted to do was kick the hell out of a punching bag until I collapsed from exhaustion. But that wasn't going to happen for the next three weeks. I didn't want anyone around me knowing I was in such a fool mood. But here Chris is with his challenges just adding to my shirt fuse. The therapist I'd hired to help me through after I was kidnapped she clearly has done down hill as she had no damn ideas. Well nothing that could help me right now anyway.

I look out the car window and see Chris is sat in the bonnet practically. His back is facing me while he overlooks the forest. This man I think to myself while I watch him for a moment.

He wasn't to have dinner. I must admit he has brought me somewhere quite and it's a scenary I can't definitely admire. I just hope he doesn't talk to much before I'd hate to snap and take my bad mood out on Chris I think to myself.

I take a deep breath before I open the door. I see chris turn round and smile at me as he hears the door open. He comes over and holds his hand out as I get the crutches out the car. I look up at Chris and take his hand as I say "Thanks". Chris helps me out the car before he then grabs the food which I have to admit it smells nice. We head to the picnic area he has set up and it looks cosy. I look around and only see one dog walker in the distance. And trees far and wide all around us with big fields. You can go wrong with the forests I think as I sit down.

"I had Summer pack some of the pillows and stuff from yours. I hope you don't mind" Chris says taking a seat as well.

"No, it's fine thankyou" I say. Then I lay down using one pillow for my leg while the other for my head. I look up to the sky and watch the clouds go by.

"Food first" Chris says and I look at Chris who is serving us both curry and chow main. Spring rolls, prawn crackers and pork balls.

"That's quite a feast" I say my eyeballs going huge as the mountain on my plate.

"Just eat what you can" Chris says as I stay in laying position but turn onto my side resting my head on my hand so I can eat better without having to sit up.

"You didn't have to do all this you know" I say.

"I know, but I think it will help. You already lost yourself looking at the sky. It's peaceful around here not crowded a lovely scenery so I figured it would be right up your streets" Chris says.

"That's all very correct but you still could have just left me at home while I figure out things myself" I say picking up a pork ball.

"No, I couldn't do that! Allow you to wallow in self pity? No i thought you were stronger than that" Chris says.

"Every strong person has bad days" I snap.

"Yes and every wise person knows that when bad days strike they should lean on and accept others support and help. It doesn't make you weak to do so it makes you human" Chris says matching my serious stern face back but I swear he has a hint of amusement writtern across his face as well.

"Who said I was wallowing anyway? Im sure I wasn't sat there crying when you arrived. No i was thinking trying to figure out my next move since my go to moves can't happen because of the stupid cast" I say.

"And what have you come up with?" Chris asks.

"Nothing. There's nothing other than scrubbing my skin bare! Nothing to get rid of the anger this time. Nothing to realise my emotions like I'm use to! So since you say I should share and lean on others support. Go on give me your best ideas how I can quickly move through this, this time!" I say

"I will think of something, give me some time to think of something while we eat though" Chris says.

"Good luck, but I'm warning you darts is t going to happen" Lisa says

Chris starts laughing before he says "And I also know knitting isn't a option either".

"You were listening? So you know my demila already. That stupid women was giving me things like colouring, puzzles ect. I swear she must of thought I was a 80 year old stuck in a wheelchair for life. I'm young still you know" I say picking the fork up to give the curry a try.

"I know that I don't see any wrinkles on your face" Chris says.

I decided to just eat the meal. Chris ate his as well while looking at Mr every now and then. Once I was full and done I thanked Chris for dinner before going back to watch the clouds.

I see Chris get up out the corner of my eye and I assumed he was putting the food back into the car after he packed it back up.

But suddenly Chris says "Catch" I instantly throw my arms up as a natural reflex as I see this football heading my way. I catch it before looking at Chris confused.

"Now see if you can throw it at me and get me. We are not going home until that ball hits my body" Chris says running a little distance away.

"What good is this going to do?" I ask

"Your see" Chris says. I was as he moves around me as I sit up. I lay attention to his moments I hold the ball above my head while I bide my time. Then I throw it as my gut tells me to. Except Chris quickly dodges it before he picks the ball up and rolls it over to me. "Again. And remember we don't go home until you have hit me with the ball" Chris says

"And what if I refuse?" I say raising a eyebrow.

"you should have more confidence in yourself" Chris just replys

"What!" I say throwing the ball at Chris again but he dives out the way and lands on the floor which is pretty amusing.

"I think your the one scared of the ball" I say.

"Nope, it's just a ball after all" Chris says getting up. I don't bother replying I just wonder what his game really is.

"Again I know you can do better than that. Just because your female doesn't mean you can slack off" Chris says rolling it back to me.

"Excuse me? Did you just throw I'm not as good because I'm a women card?" I shout

"And what if I did? Not like your going to get me with that ball is it?" Chris says in a mocking tone and I swear if looks could strike him down he would be on the floor again.

"You just started a war you can't win!" I say.

"Time will tell if your right or not" Chris says as he slowly walks around in front of me. I just sit watching bidding my time. I sit rolling the ball in my hands not paying much attention to Chris.

"Don't say your giving up just yet" Chris says and I ignore him bit make sure I keep my eye on.

"Maybe I got you wrong. I figured when your mad and someone is giving you more reason to be mad you would be screaming and shouting. And trying to get that ball to whack me in the head as much as possible" Chris says.

I just sit take a deep breath and I play his game my way. Ball still going round in my hand.

"Maybe just watching the sky go round while dwelling on your problems is a better solution then. Let it keep eating away at you like a fool. But I didn't think you were foolish enough to do that" Chris says then he stares at the sky mocking me and that's my chance I throw the ball fast and I aim for his body but instead when it connects it connects with his very own balls and he soon shits up as he falls to the floor holding his jewels.

"I was bidding my time my aim is. A little off though opps! Not a little petite women now aim I? My aim might be off but that's the gods calling it karma for being a pain in my damn ass just now!" I say then I lay back down and look up at the sky. But damn it felt finally good to get Chris with that ball.

"That was cheating" Chris says.

"Don't be a sore loser, you said I had to get you and I did" I say

"Do you feel a little better though?" Chris asks.

"If that was your way trying to help me I appreciate it but I only feel satisfied I actually got you after you tried to enrage me more than I already am" I say.

"Then I will have to think even harder then" Chris says getting up to come sit next to me again.

"You should think your next plan through more carefully since I just proved I'm not some little women who will take just anything" I say

"I think our friendship is becoming unfair" Chris says.

"Why is that?" I ask.

"Because you get me soaked with water often. And now I will have to wear body armer when footballs are around you to protect my prize jewels. I'd like kids one day you know. Yet all I ever do is catch you when your going to fall" Chris says

I can't help laughing. "Well that's kinda true but your twisting it" I say.

"It made you laugh though" Chris says nudging me gently on the shoulder as he lays downs next me.

"I'm sorry if I'm grumpy. But without my usual methods to get over the nightmares when they strike I don't want to get depressed and end up doing something stupid again. I have Emma to think off. And I hate feeling like this" I say quietly.

"It's okay" Chris says

"No it's not okay. They always come back and strike me back when I'm doing okay. I hate it" I say.

"Come on I have a idea" Chris says sitting up.

"What's your idea now?" I say.

"Trust me. My last idea and I think it will work" Chris says.

"Okay but if it fails then please just take me home so I can figure it out myself" I say.

"Promise" Chris says holding his hand out for me. I take his hand and he helps me up. I doubt anything Chris thinks of will help though. But the look of determination behind Chris just made me want to give whatever it is a try.

"Thanks" I say to Chris.

Once we are all packed up and back in the car Chris is putting on his seat belt as he says "You want music on or off?".

"I don't mind. Honestly you choose" I say.

"Music it is then" Chris says as he puts the radio on and turns it up a little.

"The louder the music the better" Chris says then he starts to pull away.

"Very true" I say taking a look at Chris. He just keeps his eyes on the road with a look of determination on his face. I look back out the passengers window and I don't really pay attention to the music no more. I kind of zone out while watching the world go by. The birds flying like the free spirits they are in the sky. The trees so go out of view and the city streets reappear. People driving by while others are on foot contuning there daily life's. Some take there time some hurry to there destinations. And yet I wish time could stop sometimes.

I wish there was a pause button so I can take breathers and regain myself. I wish I could pause it to take in all the good moments in life and have longer to appreciate them like watching Emma grow up. It goes so fast yet it never stops, not even for a second we keep moving going forward in time just like this car is driving forward. Just like everyone's feet outside is taking steps forward. Yet I still feel stuck in the past and it churns me up inside in days like this from time to time. I hate it and I hate how it still breaks me when I least expect it. I close my eyes trying to pausing tune for a second and get my breather I need.