Audrey's strength

Give me hope

My face wasn't face of teenager I looked old. Run over by life. I did some make up on my face, didn't help much.

I put scarf on my full of bruises neck. Long sleeves hid my purple wrists. Good I don't have friends who could touch me. Ready to leave was walking down the hallway when Marry stopped me.

"I will not let you go without breakfast. I made u sandwiches for lunch and now omlet is ready. Come u still got time" she used her sweet voice I couldn't say no to my savior.

Marry was beautiful grown woman. Slim but strong. Her eyes had beautiful ocean's blue color. She had 2 children. One in college and second 4 years younger than me-Trevor. From time to time he was in my house when Marry was taking care of my mom. We eat together without conversation. At school he just said hi when we passed each on hallways.

Marry once told me that I should find a friend, that I can't keep all my s**t inside my head and heart. But I told her that I don't know how talk about it and prefer keep it deep in me. It was true. I wasn't able talk about feelings.

"hey Audrey weak up, go now. But are you sure you wanna leave to school? You can stay home, I think you should".

Oh sweet Marry...

"I'm sure, I can't be here I don't want to" I bubbled to her and went to car.

Driving was something I'd love. I felt free and away from all problems. Was me and my mustang, my mechanical pony. And because of life experience I was only focusing on road, no thoughts about my pathetic life. After couple rounds in Town I got to school. First lesson was English my favorite subject. I wanted to study literature and writing.

In class I've noticed that in back was my silent friend. I noticed him because I felt his gaze on me. His beautiful big dark eyes was piersing in me. Was it my class? Why I didn't see him earlier. But truly I had no idea with whom I had classes. That much I ignored people.

I was nerd will not lie. I liked to learn. It was my plan for runaway from my mother.

I hated sit in front or at back. A preferred be in the middle, on place where No one can notice me. I put my backpack on the floor took out books and waited for bell.

All the time I felt his eyes on me. I checked sleeves and scarf because mayby he saw my bruises but everything was hidden.

Mr Brown was great teacher I loved his classes. This time I didn't listen much. Whole hour I was looking in the window and in my head saw over and over Saturday. Every next class was the same. I decided that on lunch I will focus on book. I really wanted that.

I sat down put my tale out but I couldn't find my headphones. f**k I will read surrounded by all talks, laughing and rest.

"hi, what's the scarf situation? You sick? Sore throat?" asked my friend while was prepering for his reading but all the time with his mesmerizing eyes on me. How he noticed I don't listen to music

"yeah it's that" I pretend the cough.

"you terrible liar" he smirked and drown ashamed head in his book. This was odd.

I felted his eyes on me from time to time but finally I was able to focus on my book. I read a piece where main male character was a***e. Her torturer tried to choke her and I felt exactly the same. I knew how it is to try catch small breathe, to fight for air. Be reconciled with impeding death.

I was crying. When I felt unexpected wetness on my face put my hand to wipe down tears. I felt his gaze on me. I up my head and saw that he was shocked. A moment later he grabbed delicate my hand and pulled my sleeve up. I freed my hand from his grip and with other tried pull it dawn. He checked gently my other hand and after put his finger under my scarf to look at neck. He was so close to me so I could feel warmth of his body and inhale his scent. He looked as bad boy, harsh but while touching me was gently. He put his head to my ear. His forehead touched my hair. I noticed his hands was tightly clenched in fists. I felt his anger and heavy breath on my neck.

"please tell me who did it to you" he whispered gently. In his voice I heard rage.

"it's OK, I'm ok, don't worry, it's not so bad I went through worst so please belive me it's nothing worth talking about" I mumbled with my eyes full of tears while he stroked my hand with his thumbs. My body reaction on his touch was strange and new for me, I felt better.

"You are very bad liar, Audrey, f**k! you can't hide this. So please tell me who harmed you" he tried catch my eyes but couldn't look at him, I didn't want to talk with this stranger about my terrible life.

"it's nothing really I'm safe now" I tried get some space and he gave me it back. I leaned back in my chair, pulled up the hood, and looked up. No one paied attention to what happened only woman behind the counter was looking at us. I felt blush on my cheeks.

"it's my mother, don't worry she just stare, it's her first time to see me talking to someone at school"

"thanks" I packed my things and left.

Next was PT I knew it was break for me I just had to inform teacher. Mrs Bradley was very nice with me, once I've told her about my problems at home she offered help. Of course I said thanks and rejected it. I went to her office at back of gim.

"Mrs Bradley I can't practice today" I tried sound cheerful

"and why is that?" she asked getting her head up to look at me. She was sitting behind her desk with some magazine in hands.

"I - I" I couldn't named it I just put down my scarf.

I heard her gasp of pain. But she knew I will not talk with her. She stood up, hugged me with her strong arms.

"OK u free but please be close"

I went to car opened trunk, took from it blanket. Near the sport field was a tree. It was my spot outside schools walls. Close to others but still far away, safe to be alone. For a second I was wondering if he already found it but tree spot was empty. I unfolden the blanket and sat in the shadow of the tree. Put book on my knees and looked around. Students at field already started warm up. Rest was sitting on branches. At the highest one I saw him reading. I smiled to myself and blushed at the same time because of my thoughts about him- how it was when he was so close to me. He smelled nice, so fresh like it was scent of nature, his touch was so gentle I didn't know why he acted like that. Mayby just took pity on me.

I opened book and tried concentrate on letters and words not on him. Even without my headphones I was able to cut myself from all noises around me and got fully absorb in the novel's world.

This time my cut off the world was a mistake. I didn't noticed a guy who from time to time liked check if he can harm me. He was so irrelevant to me that I had problem to remember his name. It was David or Daniel or Dennis. For 90 percent starting with D.

While I was wondering who is standing above me. Dennis/David/Daniel/whatever kicked off book from my hands. I stood up but he pushed me to a tree. Thankfully he didn't grab me on neck just on arms. He wanted shout something to my face.

I wasn't interested in listening I had to concentrate, focus my strength and kick him or punch in the face. It was his first attempt of bulie me this school year, he probably forgot how it's always ends.

I smiled to him, my hands was already fists but he just disappeared in front of me. I turned my head and saw him lying down on a grass and took hits from my silent friend. Punch after punch. While D-guy has been beaten I was focused on my friend body. Was build so good. He was slim but full of abs. While he was punching my aggressor his shirt jumped up and I was able see his body. I shook my head and tried draw him.

He stopped for a moment but was still holding this guy and turned in my direction.

"He did it to you?" he yelled and punched D-something again.

I grabbed his arm smiled and said "no not him, come leave him"

My handsome and strong friend bent to D. and whispered something to his ear. My savier stood up and came to me.

We were standing so close to each I could say face to face but it was more my face to his wide chest. He was so tall. I felt his breath on my hair. He took fingers to my chin and lift my head so he could look in my eyes. I allowed him. Our eyes met in intense gaze. Long moment broke his voice

"Are you ok?" One his hand was on my chin and other on my back as he wanted catch me if I try to escape.

"I'm fine. What about you?"

I wasn't ok but it wasn't his concern.

"you all in blood" he tried free from me but I didn't let him.

"it's not my blood, don't worry"

"we'll see if it's true" I let go his hands grabbed blanket and unfolden it so we both could sit on.

"always prepared ha?" he said with beautiful smile. I kneeled down and showed place for him. He sat with crossed legs so we were almost at the same high. In that position we could look into ours eyes. I grabbed my backpack and put out wet tissues. I looked at him, waited till he will met with my eyes. He was looking at my pack, probably guessing what else I got inside

"if it isn't your blood won't hurt, but otherwise it can. After I will clean it and find scratches we will go for first aid ok" I tried be very serious.

"always prepared" he said again, again with smile and gave me his hands

"don't worry I'm sure it's not mine blood". He said pulling his head closer to mine.

While I was taking care of him he was watching me. Not for a second moved his eyes away. From time to time asked the same question "who did it to you". After I cleaned his hands checked if it hasn't even one scratch was tired. Not of his presence but this question. I took deep breath.

"Thank you for help with this guy. I was able to handle him myself. Please stop asking this question I don't know you, I even don't know your name and I have no idea how u know mine. So please don't push I really don't have strength to talk about my bruises." I begged him. Akword silence appeared. I was sure that he would get up and leave because it just sounded like I rejected all his help. So I was devastated. I wanted him to stay.

"I'm Jess. I know your name because we have classes together so I remember. Although you think no one noticed you people does. I heard milion times while was wandering through hallways talks about Audrey's mustang. I'm sorry for repeating same question. But it's odd and terrifying that someone tried harm you."

He answered, took deep and loud exhale and leaned against a tree. He put his book out of black hoodies pocket and focused on it. After a minute while I was still not moving he pulled me to tree by him." relax, it's really great spot" and came back to his reading.

I pulled book to my eyes and removed it to my knees and again fourth and back.

He checked the hour on his phone and turned his face to mine.

"Do you have more classes?" he asked with real curiosity.

"nah, I mean I have but enough for today" I said with grumpy voice.

"If we skip school for today we must go, close is nice park so we can hide" he gave me his hand and helped got up.

I took my things and we went to my car. He waited sure that we will go on foot.

"Get in, I know better place than this park" he smiled and jump on passenger seat.

Ride wasn't very long Jess looked like he wanted ask something but he remain silent and soon we were on empty parking lot of old clossed for years steakbar. Around ruined both still were benches and tables.

"you know every abandoned place in this town?"

"nope but here years ago took me my dad. I loved steaks when I was a little. Here were the best in town" I answered with disbelief how honest I was.

We chose the best looking table. I opened my backpack and found sandwiches from Marry, took them out and gave one to Jess.

"Thanks, I'm not hungry, but you should eat I didn't saw you with food during lunch"

"eat, it's the best sandwiches made by Marry, you will love it" I offered it one more time. And he took it, unwrapped and tested.

"You right it's tasty, what it's inside?"

"EVERYTHING" I answered and we both lough for some time.

"I had a feeling you wanted ask me something in the car?"

"Am yes"

I was waiting for this question with fear it will be about my bruises and I didn't want to hear it. It was nice moment why ruined it.

"why u drive Mustang GT?"

"hahahaha you like my pony?"

"you called Mustang 6generation with v8 engine a pony?" he smirked

"well he got 533 automatic horses so yes I call him my pony. On his back I can go wherever I want or need"

"so u aware what u driving?"

"totally. It's my dream car. I got it on my 16th birthday"

"You're from rich family?"

"Well it's little rude question and you asked it with judgmental tone so I will answer you. My grandparents are rich. They my dad's parents. He didn't get along with them, we lived on our own. We weren't poor and we had enough money to have good life. After something happened no one was able to say no to grandparents when they wanted to spoil me. Every day gift waited for me,after arguing with papi he stopped. 7 months before my 16th birthday was ordinary Sunday call from him and we talk about my interests in cars and he asked which I like the most. So I said Mustang. At my 16th I left hause to go to school on cold February morning and on driveway stood my grandparents behind them my pony with hudge red bow on roof and it's whole story" telling this depraved me air. I needed water. So I bent to my backpack laying on the floor to find bottle.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you, was just curious. Where u learn to drive?"

I took a sip and offered him some he accepted while drinking was still staring at me and waited for my answer.

"A lot of questions Mr Jess. And I didn't asked even one to you" I tried sound funny "Let's play a game" I offered.

"I don't like games much, they for kids"

"oh I'm sorry Mr grown-up" it was statment which made me laugh.

He put his elbows on the table to be closer to me while we were sitting against, looked at me with a very serious face.

"I'm almost 19, so yes I feel older than all of u at school".

My face changed to serious, position to the same as his our folded hands almost touched.

"I'm almost 18, so sorry I'm not a baby as you think I am. So we play. It's simple game u will not feel like baby boy.

It's Question for question. As u look like grumpy teady I'll let u start"

"if u ask question and I don't wanna to answer?"

"you will say next and I will do the same"

"OK can play this. So who teached u drive? You drive like pro"

"And you can judge it after such short ride?" I felt red wave of flush on my face. It was sweet compliment, rare for me.

"you should answer not asking. But yes I can, so who?"

"My uncle, he was my dad's best friend. They were like brothers"

"were?" again his curiosity appeared

"yes. But know my turn"

"ok shoot"

"why u lost two years at high school?"

"next" he threw it fast with devil's smile on his perfect face.

"Not fair!"

"Let's do this, I will answer but after I'm asking two questions. Deal?" I shook my head with approval to new term of the game.

"answer on your question is family tragedy. 2 years to put our lives to one from milion pieces. Satisfied?"

"it's your first question" I teased him a little because only thought about his past made his eyes sad and distant.

"No way"

"Go" this game wasn't funny one question made him.sad next could affect me the same

"why u skiped your year of school?"

I straightened my hands, took deep breath and tried look normal. But it brought worst memory.

Jess eyes watched every my nervous move.

"you don't have to answer that" he took his eyes off me. I knew he felt my sadness.

"It's OK" Had to lie

"when I was 11 I had terrible car accident, was in coma for 3 months. And needed some time to fully recover. I lost 2 school years but I'm smart girl and in primary teachers let me try 2 years in one and I succeed" omg for the first time in my life I said someone about it. It felt good.

"Sorry I didn't want make u sad" his eyes now looked like eyes of the sweeties puppy in the world. He pulled his hand from his laps and took mine to help me calm down.

"Stupid game" he threw and smiled to cheer me up.

"game isn't stupid but life is, for sure mine" I bubbled.

"it has some good sides, game I mean. Shows you terrible in small talks as me" he sat on my side close to me.

"come u need a hug" and I was in his warm arms. It felt strange but good. His scent was so pleasant

"Let's go back, u will be able to drive?" he asked and I started to laugh like crazy.

"what?" he looked surprised with my attitude.

"can you drive?" he joined to laughing

"I think I'm not bad at it"

"so let's go, pony is now in your hands" I threw him keys. He looked happy.

"you wanna take yourself home or to school? We can do some tour. I don't need be anywhere fast" I offered. He was truly great driver. Didn't speeding but was close to limits. Sitting on passenger seat always was making me nervous and now I felt safe.

"s**t! I left my bike at school. So if it's OK we will go back to school. Or you don't wanna? He hesitated.

" you the driver you choose." from where this strange confusion?

" but it's close to 3 someone can see us together. "

"Are you ashamed to ride with me? " it was like he stabbed knife straight to my heart.

"you joking? I'm not, why you think that. I was just wondering if it's OK if someone see that I'm driving your car!"

"I don't care what they think. Just let's go get your bike" what a relief.

"can ask some more?"

"shoot"

"will it be a problem, am f**k. Can I put my bike to trunk and drive myself to my home?" he was so funny

"yes" I decided tease him a little.

" oh OK, was no question"

"yes it will be a problem to put your bike to trunk because it's full and small but it won't be a problem to put it on back seat , and u can drive yourself home. You much better behind the wheel than me so it's a pleasure to be passenger little longer."

"You are ruffles sometimes" and we both started to laugh. I don't remembered when the last time felt so cheerful and was smiling till my face hurt. For some time with Jess I wasn't thinking about my sick mother and my shity life. Few hours with someone friendly around showed me how good is to have someone you can talk to. I was so absorbed in thoughts that didn't notice if anyone saw us on parking by the school. He packed his bike with no problem on back seat and we were on the road again.

He parked in front of his cosy house and I got out to reclaim my place behind wheel. We said thanks for afternoon, lost some nerves trying get his bike from back seat and than came time for good bye. He went home and I was driving to mine. I decided for detour, my pony was filled with scent of Jess. This scent was so nice. I wanted cherish together's moments little longer.

My phone rang it was Marry. Enough being far away, time to came back on solid ground.

"Yes Marry?"

"Dinner ready. I'm waiting for you"

"Be home in 15"

"Did you talked with doctors?"

"Sorry I didn't and no one tried to reach me so probably everything is OK"

"If u say so, come fast I made something special for you"

Exactly 15 minutes later I was on driveway. Parked car, took off my things and went home. Marry looked nervous.

"What is it Marry, you angry I came back later?" I asked with bad feelings

"No Audrey, can I go home for a moment. My husband isn't home and my son is alone for almost 5 days now."

"Marry let's make a deal."I sounded like Jess." You go home to your family, I'm used to be alone and to be honest I like it. So I'm not angry that u wanna check up your son. So my deal is that u have every evening free and we see each in the morning, ok"

"Thank u Audrey, now go eat I made u shrimps and on dessert chocolate cake" she hugged me and left hause in hurry.

I wasn't lying being alone at home wa great. No one disturb my time. I could listen music, watch TV, play on my console, eat what and when I want. It was perfect to me. So when Marry left I quickly ate still warm shrimps. After decided take long warm shower. When water was falling down through my body my head was full of today's event. It was nice to talk with Jess but I couldn't find answer why he was even talking to me, why bothered to help. I created in my head some good scripts but also many bad. For a moment I regret to telling him things about me. Knowing my luck, my life was only a streak of misfortunes, so the most possible answer why he bothered was a bet to ride my car. I even was sure that fight with D-guy was a performance. I wish it was me mom.....

I finished shower covered myself with robe and put towel on my hair. Only chocolate cake could make feel little better.

Marry in kitchen it was magic. No matter if she cooked, baked or made sandwiches all was delicious. No one could prepare simple dish like she did. With cake in my mouth I cherished the moment of pure pleasure killed by doorbell. Someone was by back door. I was sure it was security guy who was hired by grandpa to keep me safe.

So without looking to mirrow I opened door.

"Yes, Mr Johnson it's......"

"Hi again" on first step stood Jess. He got closer to me and with his thumb took chocolate and tried it. Threw my spine run strange shiver

"UMmm it's tasty" he smiled and asked if I will let him in. I did. My guard was up this time

I brought him to kitchen and showed cake.

"Try it's Marry's work tastes like heaven"

"Who is Marry?"

"She helps us, and watch me"

"so is she and this guard in back and where's your parents?"

"away" I put up my arms and turned back. "Eat I need put something on me"

Fast put black sweatpants simple t-shirt and catch my wet hair in simple ponytail.

I came back to kitchen and saw that he really enjoyed cake.

"see toldya u will love it. Give me one second I need a word with Mr. Johnson" and I left to guard.

"it's everything in order miss." he asked with his formal voice. I saluted and said "sir, yes sir" and after "got favor to ask."

"Don't worry I will not call your grandpa to report that u got late guest. It's not my job"

"Thank You but it's not about it. Can you not report that Marry is leaving in the evening and come back in the morning? As a bribe I will get you best chocolate cake ever"

"I don't eat sweets and for few days will close my eyes when she go out and come back" he winked and I was my way back home.

Jess was still in kitchen sitting by the island.

"ok now I got some time for you. Why do I owe this visit?" I asked polite.

He grabbed with left hand his bag while with right hand was eating cake.

He took from bag some sort of liniment.

"it's for your bruises, always help, tested on me" he threw a bottle in my direction. It didn't have any sticker with name or composition of this "medicine".

"Don't be a chicken. It's safe, it's not a poison" he finished his slice of cake and came closer. Again with his fingers lift my head up but this time not to look into my eyes but to look at my neck. He smelled his fresh cologne and chocolate. He took bottle from my hands, opened it and very gentle rubed it to my neck. After to my hands. I felt chills on places he touched. Was delicate so I didn't feel pain while he was touching my purple hands and neck.

"Do the same in the morning and evening it's really helpful"

"How do you know where I live?" maybe he is stalker or killer. It was funny thought

"it's a secret" he smiled and winked sweet with his eye to me. He was f*****g handsome.

"Good night" he waved me and left. I was still standing in place where he rub his mixture to my body. Doors clenched. He really was gone. How he knew my address, I felt strange but good. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this time someone was really enjoying time with me. From my thoughts woke me ring of the phone. It was my uncle, one who teached me how to drive.

"Uncle How nice to hear you" it was True he was best uncle ever and only one I had.

"Baby girl I heard what happened to you, I'm so so sorry. I can't come but I sended my worker to give u my special medicine we use it with boxers to heal fast. I will try visit you soon or maybe u wanna came on hill on next Friday? Will be big race and a lot of fights on ring. Interested? He asked with smirk.

"when grandpa called you?" I asked little angry he called him not me.

"It's your auntie. We divorced but still in touch, so you don't have to be angry at your grandpa" he knew me well and much better my grandpa. Uncle Kevin was my dad's best friend and was familiar with every family issue .

"so what about next Friday? We got a date? Come on it will be fun."

"with u uncle always. So we have a date"

"perfect. Drive on your own ok?"

"Like always"

We said our goodbyes and I smiled to myself. "secret" funny very funny Jess, very funny.