Audrey's strength

So hot in here

I couldn't look at her when she left me with her grandfather. I was a prick. I wanted be with her, I wanted go with her. But I let Audrey go. f*****g i***t.

My father's had some kind of power over me. I didn't understood it. But I followed his command. I let Audrey down I even didn't want to imagine what pain I caused her. In short time she becomes most important in my life.

My brother suicide was his escape from our cruel father and I couldn't stood up against him. I dreamed about that but when it came to act I did nothing. I was f*****g coward.

Although it was Sunday my father knew headmaster of school he made me to attend. So tomorrow new school. Building empty without Audrey. Without our places, memories.

My father got me to his flat and ordered to sit in room. My new prison. I made the hardest call to Kevin I tried explain myself. He was pissed at me, but said that he will take care of Audrey and demand to make explanation to her as fast as possible. That she maybe play tough but inside she is fragile, like I didn't know that already. I talked for a moment with Bastien who called me dickhead and hung up on me.

I decided to focus on my thoughts of Audrey, her blush on every compliment. Her eyes, her beautiful light blue almost grey orbs I needed them so much. Will she ever look at me again. I played over and over song she was talking about on our date. It was simple and as always she was right, suits us. I laid down took one pillow arranged it same way I hold her in my arms every last nights together. I hated myself.

My father woke me up around 7, and took me to new school I didn't want to attend. Was full of snobs. It wasn't for me. School in town had much more to offer and Audrey was in it.

I was frustrated. So much that I beat one guy who tried pissed me off. When they took him to hospital should be proud of himself. He succeeded I was in rage totally out of balance. As much as my father. Suspension on first day great achievement.

"I know what you doing, rebel Jess. Enough. You will do what I want!" he was yelling at me.

"You know who's offrer was dropped out first at Monroe's? Can't you think a little more before putting d**k into granddaughter of biggest figure in this f*****g state."when he was yelling call rang. He got it immediately.

" Good afternoon Mrs Hanks"

"Good afternoon I just call that we got some disturbing information and we call to inform you we will no longer need your services. Have a nice day Mr Logan" I could just laugh. My father offended the most powerful person. he dreamed to work for Monroe instead he was losing everything because of him. I wanted visit Mr Monroe and thanked him. He got guts I hadn't.

"it's so funny for you. You worst child.

You will call this b***h and will sorry her, f**k her I don't care. I want my life back. You hear me. Call this w***e immediately!" I stopped laughing. I could remain silent when he said she got bad influence on me. But now in one sentence he offended her twice. It was a trigger I needed.

" Stop the car."

"what you leaving"

"I hate you. You killed Todd, you made our life a pathetic. You the worst person walking on earth. You don't deserve my fear, you don't deserve me. I'm leaving and I don't want to hear a word from you and about you. You just dead for me" he was in shock. For years he was destroying us with his sharp as knifes words so I learned from the best. As him didn't think if it will hurt. I took my things from his apartment and got to my car. He was sitting in the same position I left him. I passed him without looking back. I was free. Now I had to find idea how get back my girl. I went straight to her. But house was empty. It gave me time to think that it will be better not to wait for her. I needed place to crush.

"Bastien"

"what dickhead?"

"I don't have place to sleep"

"come to us. My mother adores you so she will be thrilled"

"thanks"

"don't you want go straight to her?"

"she will throw me away"

"I don't think so, but it's your choice"

When I entered Bastien home his mom greeted me with strong hug. I run fast to Bastien room.

"You wanna talk?"

"no"

"write her, call her do something. On Sunday she tried be in one piece but was a wreck. Jess this sweet girl, I won't tell it more. But you a prick. Fix it" I was going to do it.

I called school that I'm going back. Headmaster was happy of my decision and didn't ask what happened. I could be back on Wednesday.

When I finished Bastien talked with Kevin. I only heard that Bas said "I will do it. I love that girl boss so you don't owe me anything" I knew he was talking about Audrey.

I looked at him.

"I'm helping Audrey move to new apartment tomorrow. She lost a boyfriend can't do it by herself" even for a second Bastien didn't want to remit me a little.

I didn't move from Bastien home whole Tuesday. I let Bas help her move. I didn't want to ruin this moment of her life. But I asked him to keep my presence in secret. Not to tell her I'm at his place.

He came back around 21 pm said that she had swollen eyes like after fight and he punched me. He liked her, and her pain hurt him.

It was close to 10 pm. I needed warn Audrey that I will be at school. She always sticks to her plan, and meeting me wasn't in it.

Audrey you sleep

I saw icon showing that she was writing. Or just think if should answer. I didn't want to wait longer

Talk with me please

Jess I

I waited for answer but she didn't want talk with me. She wasn't in anger she was in pain. With her rage I would get a long message with sad truth about me which I deserved. But nothing meant she was crying in that moment.

Audrey talk. Let me explain

Jess I...

Audrey you want me to come to you?

It's late

I'm at Bastien. Audrey I did it. Do you want me to come. I can be in 10.

She was fighting with herself. Trust me or not. Probably in her head was many what ifs.

I'm coming ok?

Yes

Fuck yes. I never drove so fast. Good that Bas gave me her new address. It was closer to school that from her old house. I needed few inhales to find courage to knock.

She opened in skimpy top and shorts. Was wet.

"did I interrupt something?" she rolled her eyes looked at herself and smiled.

"I can't operate on heating panel. I'm boiling inside and don't know how to change temperature at this place" I was laughing. It was laugh which appeared only by her.

"Let me look at it ok?" she let me in and I felt it was f*****g hot inside. She pointed me a panel. It wasn't complicated but needed some knowledge.

"Audrey come I will show you how." she stood before panel I was behind her. Finally I could be close to her, feel her. I lowered temperature and took Audrey into my arms. She protested for a second but after was holding me.

I kissed her. She tasted salty because of her sweat but I liked it.

"I need shower Jess" I couldn't let her from my arms. I kissed her lips her neck she just mumbled my name. Two days without her was like years. I missed her, I wanted her I needed her. I took her face in my hands to made her look at me, I needed our eyes to met.

"Audrey I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I acted like a fool, I let him to separate us. But I can't be without you. You showed in my life like a unexpected storm. It all go own rhythm between us but it's the best. We feel - we do. I'm falling into you. Please forgive me I can't lose you." My eyes was full of tears same looked hers. I wanted kiss her but this time I needed to be patient to let her answer I just put my forehead to hers still with eyes on hers.

" Jess, you, I" she couldn't find right words. I didn't help her, just waited. My fingers wandering between her hair.

"Jess"

"yes"

"I forgive you but don't do it, never again. Don't you ever again dare left me like that, hurt me like that" I could just kissed her. In this kiss was my promise but I felt she demanded words.

"I promise Au.." she didn't let me finished. She closed my mouth with her lips, with her tongue. I took her in my arms and laid her down on couch.

I wanted kiss whole her body. She let us be in a moment. Let me kissed her face, her neck, her collarbone her chest. My hands were all over her body. I wanted more. We were in passionate kissing when she grabbed mine t-shirt to took it off me. She wanted kiss me as I her. So turned us and sat on me. I was holding her hips, she was wandering with her fingers on my chest. It gave me a pleasure. Audrey lower herself and kissed my lips and like with her fingers she was traveling on my body with her warm soft lips. With no one I was so close like with her. She was first woman who I kissed, first who I wanted to have s*x with. She had fire in her eyes. We needed stop. I didn't have condoms and we shouldn't do it now. We shouldn't use s*x as runway from our problems. I was hard. I wanted let l**t took control over me. She bit my n****e I gasped. But we needed to stop. I grabbed her arms and upper her to look into her eyes

"Enough Audrey" I was sure I saw that she was disappointed. I sat and hugged her. She put her legs around me.

"now I need cold shower" she whispered to my ear. I moved a little to see if she blushed. She did. I smiled and tucked her in my arms again. She drown her fingers in my hair and lean her head on my shoulder.

"I've missed you Jess" I barely heard her words.

"I've missed you like crazy girl"

"What about school, what's your plan Jess, tell me please" My girl and her plans. I kissed her hair.

"I arranged coming back to our school. I can stay at Bastien if you need time but the most I dream to be with you under same roof"

"stay here please" she started to cry.

"Audrey stop please don't cry, baby" I wanted upper her head, calm her with my gaze but she didn't let me. She held me tight.

"I wanted to hate you, but I couldn't. I was worried about you so much. I was afraid that your father can harm you. It's what you did to me. Even if you hurt me I still care." she delicate slapped me. This time she let me looked into her eyes when I put her chin up.

" Audrey you gave me power to confront my father, fact that you was worried after, after(my voice was breaking) what I've done to you makes me luckiest man on planet and I was sure you will never talk with me again. I tried belive that you don't feel same as I to you. But when you let me in, forgive me I thought I can't be more grateful and now I'm in heaven" I had to kissed her again.

"Jess" she whispered and kissed me back. It was getting super late and we still got school to finish. Now I needed best scores, to got full scholarship. About my father's money I could forget.

"Jess what happened, how you managed to free yourself?" we were glued to each. She still sat on me I held her in my arms. Our heads was touching. I owed her answer.

"You happen. Your grandpa did something to dad and he started offended me and you in anger. What made me mad. I can handle when he attack me but you. I finally blurted out what I think about him. And said even too much. But he didn't stop me. I was free" she didn't move a inch. Was listening like no one ever did. It was easy to open myself while she was in my arms.

"Now tell me where we sleep" I was smiling to her she didn't want let me. Like she was afraid if she released me I will vanish.

"I will never leave you, Audrey you hear me"

"I hear but can't believe, can't believe u here, can't believe just can't believe. Did I overheat myself, lost consciousness and dreaming. If it's dream I don't wanna weak up. I was sure I lost you."

I stood up with her in my arms her legs was around me. I was in this apartment for the first time I had to ask to point room. She straight her right leg. We laughed. I moved us to bedroom It was nice and warm large room, whole flat was cosy. Perfect for us.

" I still need shower" she announced with her sweetest tone of voice.

"so go shower I will go to take bag from car. I will be back before you finish, deal?" she nodded in yes but it was hard for her to let me go.

"It's not a dream. I'm here and will be by your side as long as you will want me to be. Now go shower we need sleep" I still didn't fully convinced her but she let me, got up and was on her way to bathroom.

"you better be here when I finish" She shook a finger at me I run downstairs. And run fast up. Water was still on. I took off my clothes and jumped into bed on my favorite side by the wall.

===

Audrey's pov

I was afraid to stop water. I was afraid to left bathroom. He was right we need sleep. It was my test do I trust him? OK Audrey 3,2,1 water off. 321 I'm ready to leave. One more 321. Maybe 10987654321.

"hey baby" he was in bed. It wasn't dream. He was here. I jumped to bed I needed be gentle he still had bruises. But he rolled me rough into his arms.

"we got alarm set for a morning?"

"I'm not sure" I giggled. He got his cell and set it. We were safe. We could sleep.

"Jess" I don't know why he laughed a bit I missed this sound.

"yes my nocturnal beast"

"you know that there is a movie Nocturnal Animals"

"Yes I saw it, was strong. What you wanted to ask" I felt his lips on my neck.

"Nothing just wanted say that I'm happy."

"I'm happy too now good night Audrey"

When alarm rang I couldn't open my eyes. Jess didn't hury too. We went sleep around 2 am. So many emotions, words, kissing. And we had to go to school. Jess took me into his arms. And started whispered to me.

"come on, weak up beasty, we need go. I need scholarship" he kissed my head my neck my shoulder. But his words woke me up. He was sure his father will not pay for rest of his education. I rolled from his arms, from bed.

"you will got it easily. So let's go." this time I kissed his messy hair. Didn't know what more to say. I got to bathroom for fast refresh he jumped after me. I made coffee for both of us. Was thinking about breakfast but could only made some sandwiches my fridge was empty. I was on my own without Marry, shopping was on me now. When I was making breakfast Jess came in. He looked so handsome, his wet messy hair was dancing on his forehead with ever step he made. Jess grabbed coffee after few sips he looked on sandwiches.

"I can make something cooked"

"You can't fridge is empty" I giggled

"so shopping after school" we had a together plan for later.

"We will go to mall but after I need go my place for my things" it made him nervous.

"maybe your mom will be out. I have here x6, got more space you can take it" we had some kind grown conversation. We were planning, it made me smile.

"in the evening I will mount TV."

"how will we share space. Wardrobe is big, but we need get second desk to our room."

"Don't worry we will handle everything. With you it's easy" he came to me and kissed me

"you taste like coffee now"

School this day was a pleasure. Most of morning classes we had together. When Mr Brown saw us together I saw a smile under his mustache. Before lunch Jess was nervous. His mom could be in cafeteria. Her company was preparing food for most of schools around. But she was visiting our school the most to got eye on Jess. I took his hand in my to gave him courage. We entered cafeteria and went to our table. His mother wasn't present. I felt his relief.

This day went good but we knew that evening can change our moods. Jess helped me unpacked groceries he paid for it. We had small quarrel about it. I was one with more money, he didn't let me use them. But at home he was scared. I hugged him and offered to go with him. But he said he need do it by himself. I gave him x6 keys. He kissed me held me tight in his arms for some time than left. I tried play taugh but when he left tears attacked me.

I was shaking from fear. What if his mom stopped him. What if she made him leave me as earlier his dad. I couldn't focus on book. I was holding my cell in hands and waiting, will he send goodbye, will he write anything.

When he showed up yesterday in my doors I planned play it differently. I wanted him to know how much he hurt me. But when I saw his handsome figure. The way t shirt was settled on his muscles on wide chest. His big hands, his eyes I could just let him in. I regretted that. What if I let him to my heart again and he rejected me one more time. I was crying.

I needed shower. It was long one. I tried washed up all my fears and focused on good thoughts. I finished, wrapped with towel and went to living room to checked cell.

In this moment he came back. I smiled as wide as I could. He dropped his bags on flor and approached me took me in his arms and sat me on island counter. He kissed my lips with passion I haven't felt it never before. His rough hands was on my thigs. He put his fingers under towel and felt I don't have panties. He moved away a little and dropped towel from me. I was exposed. Tried hide my breast and p***y but Jess grabbed my hands with his leg he opened mine. I blushed he smiled and took me into his arms. I catched his t-shirt and took it off him. He raised his hands. We touched body to body. He was kissing my lips and played with my breast I felt l**t. My body was shivering in strange way, way I didn't understood.

"You so f*****g perfect Audrey" he tried discharge the tension. He leaned head on my shoulder. I felt on my nude body his intense breath. We calm each dawn. I put towel back while he was still holding me.

"you met your mom?" I asked as gently as possible.

"yes" I took him in my arms and legs.

"don't Audrey, I just barely took control of my body. And you seducing me now" I slide down from island

"where you going A?"

"I'm going to wear sackcloth" I giggled and wanted left to bedroom.

"Audrey u want have s*x with me?" I felt blush. He leaned against the island, crossed his legs, and pulled the T-shirt on. I didn't know what to answer. He looked so f*****g hot

"Audrey talk" he looked so sexy. I was ashamed of this conversation. Was looking in my head for right words. I made a swear that I will never lied him. But thinking of truly answer made me red and ashamed.

"Audrey it's me talk please" I took deep inhale.

"If u ask I think it's better to wait, to know each better make some order in our heads. " I paused and he nodded he want open his mouth but I didn't let him.

"But when you kissed me like that, when you exposed my body, when all happened I didn't want you to stop. You do something to me. I don't understand it, but I want you fully. I'm not afraid at this moments. I'm ready for more. Now after what I said need bury my head in sand" he laughed but let me hide in bedroom. I put dad's t-shirt and shorts and got back to him.

He tinkered with TV. We needed hung it up. I sat on couch and observed his moves.

"Audrey I can't focus when I feel your eyes on me" I blushed and tried read. When tv was on wall we input all wires. We had mess at our flat. Unpacked bags in every corner. I looked around.

"Jess tomorrow after school we need made some order here"

"Sure baby" he kissed my forehead we sat on couch and put TV on.

"Jess?"

"yes?"

"how was with your mother?" I heard his delicate gasp. he put out of his back pocket in jeans credit card and waved it.

"She accepted my decision. Gave me this card in case of emergency. She doesn't want me to stop my education but I can chose college on my own and courses I want, she will pay for it. And she doesn't want to lose me. Probably soon will like to visit us" he leaned his head on my laps. I felt his relief. I drown my fingers in his hair. He was looking at me.

"And what college you like?"

"one u will be in" he answered without hestitation. Tears attacked me.

He stood up sat opposite to me and grabbed my face in his hands.

"Audrey why you're crying? Hey baby look at me" I looked as he command he kissed me.

"Audrey talk"

"I don't know, your answer touched my heart"he laughed and hugged me.

" So tell me where we want to study"

"I don't know"

"you're terrible liar A. Talk baby"

"I was thinking New York University. They got great business and writing courses so I could mix up and see what I prefere. Or Columbia or other in NY. I like this city" I was covered in red. My face my neck. I wanted go as far as possible but now NY sound good.

"Why not Yale?"

"You want study at Yale? It's also not in NY"

"I'm asking you. They also got both writing and business"

"I'm not sure I want be around snobs. It's how I imagine students of Yale." we laughed.

"tell me what you want Jess"

"earlier I wanted run as far as possible. Berkeley was on my mind or any university in San Francisco. But you gave me strength to confront with my father and I don't need run anymore. I like idea of NY. Not far but not close either. And idea with connecting courses it's something I was thinking about also."

"we can apply to Berkeley, NY, Yale Columbia, Stanford and see what happens. What you think?"

"We will do it. After we will choose" We sticked our heads together my hands was in his hair, his in mine.

"Audrey we got our own plan. You have no idea how good I feel with it"

"Now we need plan what to do to build strong resumes, what if we don't get to any of it, what if..." he stopped me with his finger on my lips.

"no to what if"

We cuddled little longer and went sleep.

Two next days were almost perfect home and at school. Almost because after last classes on Friday Madeleine approached me.

"We need talk fast" she said quickly and shifted me to toilet.

"there is a bet. To f**k Jess but also to f**k you. And guys are afraid of Jess so they want attack him in group 4 to 1. They want send him to hospital. It may be happening right now." she said it and let me run outside.

I wasn't thinking why she did it. But I was frightened. Jess was strong, knew how to fight but 4 to 1! When I reached doors fight already started.