Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 66 : Journal : Angel Ariel

I was getting tired but I didn't want to stop reading all of these half way. I wanted to know what was that thing that my parents so desperately wanted me to read. These entries are really depressing and I am getting the feeling that I might need to consult Dr. Shetty once again. The last time I suffered from depression he was the one who helped me get over it.

I finally decided to continue the rest of the entries.

                                                                    17th July 1994

Sometimes it feels as if my troubles and tortures are never going to end. Uncle promised that we will shift over to my Mom's home in Purulia but it seems as if the time has stopped moving forward. It seems as if the movement of clock has stopped or slowed down in my life. I really cannot describe how much my legs hurts wearing the heel shoes everyday. I was unable to sleep because of the pains. Last week because of the pains in my leg, uncle asked me to take some medicines every night. He told me that the other day dad begged him not to let me wear the heels but uncle suggested that I will only have to wear the heels till the day I get married to Abhishek dada after that I am free to wear flats at home. He however allowed me to take painkillers instead. Well something strange happened tonight. I am not sure what it was, I mean it might probably be a dream too. Yesterday was very rough day for me, there was a lot of work. I was so tired that I felt asleep without taking the medicines. As far as I could remember, I didn't have the strength to put the blanket over me. Around midnight I suddenly began to feel that someone was trying to massage my legs. It felt like someone removed the heels that I was wearing and replaced it with the flats. Being a Saturday night, I didn't have to put on the hideous uniform so I was wearing a loose 1 piece dress. I tried to open my eyes, and all I could see was a shadow of a lady wearing a while dress, picking up my blanket and tucking me in. She placed her hand over my eyes and said "I am the angel Ariel... You have been a good human being my child so King David has asked me to come and tuck you in and help you get over the struggles that you will be facing everyday..." the Angel also said that her king "King David" knows that I have been suffering, so he has asked the warrior goddess Athena and the hound from hell Cerberus to come and take away all my sufferings" she them began to pamper my hair and gave me a kiss on my forehead and eventually I felt asleep again. Something told me it was Aamaya di but as far as I know, Aamaya di never wore such a white dress. I decided to ignore it since it was only a dream and there is no Angel Ariel, or any gods who would come to protect me. If gods really existed, he will not let me suffer this way. Nothing much happened for the rest of the day.

**** Wow that was a strange dream. Even if that was real, I wonder who would come and try such a thing. If it was one of the members of the family, I am pretty sure it was Aunty who was trying to do that secretly late at night. I am sure Aunty still has some humanity left in her to feel bad for Abhinu.****

I continued to read the journals.

 The next entries was about the christening ceremony and what happened to him for the next 3 days. I remember the incident very well and then there was another incident about how Harsh begged forgiveness from Abhinu and how Abhinu now christened as Sophia was was extremely happy about the stuffed bear they gifted to him. Well I learned a strange thing there. It was written that early morning Aamaya di asked him to take me to the balcony to discuss about it. He stated that Aamaya di wanted him to be there around 4 p.m. because her brother had told her, that Mr. Jairus was trying to get in touch with Abhinu but uncle has been telling him that Abhinu was send abroad, so he took the help of Aamaya di's brother to contact her and get make sure Abhinu was there at that precise moment.

                                                                        27th July 

As usual Abhishek Dada called me around 5 a.m. Now days I don't need my alarm clock to wake up. Abhishek dada's call was enough to wake me up. Today I learned a new word. Well the word learn has become more of a distant dream for me. Even if I dared to touch a book, they would always hit me with a cane. 

Well Abhishek Dada asked me what I was wearing and I told him that I was wearing the light pink nightie that uncle got for me the other day and then he began to ask me how it feels about wearing a dress the whole day, and then he began to ask me about random things. He them asked me if I was wearing a b*a underneath and when I said yes, he suggested that when I sleep, I should not be wearing them, it blocks the flow of blood and would weaken me.

I asked him how does he know all about this and then he let out a secret. He told me that even though he was born a boy, he has a medical condition where he was born with both the male and female genetalia, The first few years the family thought he was a girl, he was very uncomfortable wearing the dress and eventually he got his female genetalia surgically removed. Now he is a boy but he still feels my condition.

He then told me that everyone in the neighbor-hood knew about his condition and so he doesn't live with them and only comes there occasionally.

 A part of me felt he was lying but I wouldn't dare to ask him about it. He suddenly asked me to turn on the camera and wanted me to remove my b*a and that he wanted to see me taking it off. I was shy but he told me that once I get married to him, I will have to live with him and then, I will have to change my dresses in front of him. So he wants me to be prepared for that. He also said that after the marriage, I will be the daughter-in-law of the family which would mean that my status as the youngest member of the family would be elevated, and since I will be living with him, most of the rules set aside by uncle will not bind me anymore. I will also have a few rights of my own.

Listening to these disgusting talk made me hate him, but then the other day he protected me from the 4 of my bullies, just like a husband does. He then asked me if I know what c****s meant and I replied that I have no clue and then he said that what Rahat and the others did to me the other day was c****s but only if both the parties agree to it.

I could understand where the conversation was going to, and I was right when he asked me the next thing. He told me that a week from now, we are getting married and then he began to tell me what are his expectations on the night of our marriage, and then he asked me if I have any wish before the marriage. I had none so he said as a gift for being good with him, he wanted to take me out on a date to a restaurant. I reminded him that I don't have any male attire and then he said that he doesn't want me to wear a male attire, he told me that there is a gift for me in aunty's room which we wants me to wear day after tomorrow. He asked me to be ready by 3 p.m. and before I could say anything he disconnected the call. The rest of the day passed without any incident.

What the hell was that. That p*****t was taking to him about having s****l i*********e. Really disgusting.  One time he says he understands Abhinu's feeling and the next moment he talks to him about those disgusting things he wants to do with him on the night of marriage. I wish someone would tell the cops that there is a child getting abused and that there is an illegal marriage that was supposed to take place.  Gosh why don't that Abhishek Banerjee just die.

                                                    TO BE CONTINUED...

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