Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 69 : Journal : Introducing Shabnam Mausi

I really hate uncle now. How can he be so cruel. Just for the sake of finding his own son, he had got the audacity to hurt Aamaya di. I wonder what other tortures he did to her to get back his son.

                                                                   4th August 1994

Finally today Aamaya Di's fever has subsided. Her hand was still swollen by the wounds. I didn't sleep a second for the past 2 days, all I did was to take care of the person who saved my life as well as pretend in front of uncle that I miss Abhishek and occasionally keep crying and tell him to get him back.

It was kind of a relief that I don't have to hear his psychotic voice anymore. There have been a lot of activity in the house for the past 2 days. Uncle and Rahat Kaka and a few others has been installing wires through the house, he told me that for the safety of the family, he is going to install close circuit camera's in the house very soon. He also said that since Aamaya di is a grown girl, and is not much of a threat so he will not be installing a camera in Aamaya di's room. 

He further confiscated Aamaya di's phone and also ordered Aunty not to let her out of the house premises. If at all she needs to go out it will only be under his supervision or one of his henchman until he is absolutely sure Aamaya di is not the one responsible for Abhishek's disappearance.

I was too little to understand this but today aunty came over to Aamaya di's room and helped her change the bandages. She suddenly said that the wounds look like uncle had used some sort of a hot instrument to burn the skin and then finally after 3 days she told us the truth. I was feeling bad for her, but at this moment both Aunty and I are helpless at this moment.

Uncle said that he will get the transfer documents ready from the school and will get his daughters admitted to school. Uncle also said that he knows a lady Mrs. Das who will start coming over to our house from the 4th of January and help me with my studies. He also said that after I was expelled, no school would want to take me back, but he had a discussion with his friend and would try to get me admitted to Givamani International School.

For once I am happy that uncle has finally decided to allow me to study. Nothing much happened for the rest of the day, and I spend my time taking care of Aamaya di.

                                                                    5th August 1994

Uncle came to Aamaya di's room early morning. I was still helping her recover from the wounds. He asked me to come to my room and wanted to discuss something with me. Did I forget to mention that Aamaya di and I were given the biggest room of the house. 

I walked to my room pretending to be excited and before uncle could say a word, I asked him "tell you you have heard from Abhishek dada" he looked at me and nodded his head indicating a no. 

I sat down, and began to slap my forehead with the palm of my hand and pretended to cry and shout it is all because of me, I am cursed, everyone who loves me gets hurt, you know uncle I think a cursed girl like me should have no rights to live, and then I stood up and as I was about to run, he caught hold of me hand and asked me what I was up to. 

I began shouting and asking him to let me go and allow me to end my life, and then he pulled me close to him and gave me a big hug and said that he never expected that I would be so devoted to his son. I told him that I know its difficult for him to believe that I am actually doing that and so I replied that I would not have changed, but Abhishek Dada protected me from my tormentors that night, and that was the reason, I fell in love with him.

Something told me that he believed in my answer and then said he was happy to see my loyalty towards his son, and he was proud of his son's love interest. He then said he had already accepted me as his daughter-in-law. 

He gave me a small bottle and said that it has a bottle of vermillion which Abhishek Dada wanted to give me on the night of our marriage. But since he was unable to come, uncle wanted me to have it and it would make him happy if I would apply a little everyday on my forehead. 

It was uncomfortable but I had no choice so I decided to accept his offer. He then asked me to open the briefcase, lying on the bed. As I opened it, he said that they are specially designed saree's for me. I don't have to take the pains of folding the pleats and all. I just have to put in on and clip it and it will look just like the regular sarees.

He asked me if I would be interested to wear it every morning till my sisters leaves for school, after that i can wear anything I want to wear. Well you see for me anything meant any female attire not male attire.

He then told me that he has plans to install a couple of cameras in my room for my safety, so that he can keep an eye on me and make sure my sisters don't try to bully me. He then asked me to look up and showed me the location where he had installed the projector. It was attached into the ceiling and told me that I can turn it on using the mobile phone itself. 

He then gave me the new cell phone and asked me if I wish to talk to my dad, but I declined his offer and told him that i would rather go and help aunty in the kitchen and prove to be the good daughter he expects me to be. I then asked him if he was offended when I addressed myself as his daughter and he replied that he doesn't mind and instead he is happy about it. 

For once it felt like Aamaya di's plan was working and uncle was actually beginning to trust me. The rest of the day was awesome, Darika and Garima tried to bully me and uncle shouted at them and now I it started to feel that things have really started getting better for me.

**** Wow, my darling has really turned smart and is actually trying to cope up with the surroundings. This is awesome and I am happy that things are getting better for him. 

There are no entries for a few days but the next entries felt as if his life was really getting better for him. With Abhishek Dada out of the picture, I guess his life is surely getting better for him. ****

                                                                9th July 1994

It has been 2 weeks now since we had to suddenly shifted to Purulia. I can't complain much. Either I am getting used to my fate, or things are getting a little better thanks to Amell Dada who made sure uncle is freaked out of his wits. 

I still live as a girl, well after that surgery, I would not be lying if I say I have been transformed into a little girl. The rules set by uncle don't shackle me anymore. Without those stringent rules, my life has become much better. As uncle promised, the sooner I accept my fate that I am a girl, the sooner my life would turn for the better. Once a week I am even allowed to step out of the house into the compound.

Aunty insists on this routine, maintaining she is doing this to keep me healthy. Uncle also agrees to it. I am not allowed to venture out alone though and am always accompanied by someone during these walks and never outside the gate premises.

The other day uncle had warned Darika and Garima that if they try to be rude to me, they will be the one who will have to follow the rules that I was earlier asked to follow. Now days, they have to touch my feet every morning and ask my blessings because I am their Sister in law and occupy equal rights as Aunty. However I am still not allowed to lay my hands on them. In case I hurt them for any reason, no matter what, all my privileges would be revoked, and my life would return to the miserable state as was before. However the best part is they are not aware of this condition.

I was also told that if I am disrespectful towards Aunty or Aamaya di, or I failed to adhere to aunty's whims and rules, my life will get miserable again and so I strayed. Although their threats scared me, I was willing to follow her rules to have the moderate freedom I am entitled to now. Besides I know Aamaya di and Aunty is always beside me to always keep me company.

Uncle has also promised me to let me complete my education. He had given me 2 alternatives, the first is if I wish I can attend school as Sophia or the other option is that I will be home schooled. He gave me till December to decide and tell him what I want.

Recently I have been feeling a few physical changes in my body. I keep getting tired very easily. The hair on my chest and legs has stopped growing, previously I used to use a razor to trim my body hair which I don't have to do it anymore. I have also started getting skinnier. 

My physical looks have started to appear more girly. If Darika or Garima and I were to stand together, no one will be able to distinguish between them and me. They would think that I am an actual little girl and not a boy in flesh and blood.

All these have started since the day I started to have back pains and doctors told me that I had a kidney infection and the only way to get well is to get the surgery done. Due to these changes, my body aches a lot, and most of the time I have a temperature. The doctor tells me that I will be having this problem until my body starts to adapt to the new changes.

I should be well in a few months. To tell you the truth, I want to grow up, and Monika had promised me that one day she is going to have the dance we couldn't have on the day of the party. I just hope that day comes soon. I hate pretending to be someone else, but if this is my destiny then I guess it would be good for me to surrender to my fate. Aunty and my sisters are in Kolkata right now and I am just idling away in the house.

                                                                    10th July 1994

An incident happened today, and I am proud of it. It feels wonderful without uncle or Rahat kaka lurking around. I was idling in my room when my concentration was disturbed by a commotion outside our house. I peeped through the window to check and came to know that there has been an accident. A few minutes later someone rang the doorbell. Aunty warning against opening the door to strangers echoed in my head, but the constant ringing of the bell irritated me, and I opened the door. 

As I opened the door, I saw a group of people dressed in sarees. They were from the kinner or the third gender community. One of them was bleeding and asked me for help. Without giving a second thought I got the first aid and cleaned the wounds, applied some antiseptic and bandaged them. That person was grateful for what I did and touched my forehead to bless me.

Her face became pale as she touched me and then asked if I am really a girl, or I am a boy dressed as a girl. I tried to convince them that I am a girl, but they would not believe me and kept insisting. I was in no mood to tell them anything, besides after so many failed attempts at making strangers believe in my truth, I have given up all hope and efforts. 

However, their constant coercing made me finally blurt out the truth. I told her that the family is forcing me to undergo a gender reassignment surgery and eventually I am turning into a girl. She asked me if I want to go with them and I declined the offer. The lady wrote a number on a piece of paper 03252-562397 and said no matter when I call her, what time I call her, how many times I ask for her help, she will always send someone to help me. I just have to call the number and ask for Shabnam Mausi and tell them that Sophia needs her help.

I thanked them and then it came to my mind that maybe I can do something for Aamaya di for what she did for me on the day Abhishek dada wanted to marry me. I asked the lady, if she can do one small favor for me. When she asked me, I told her if she can send a message to a person called Amell Harper, who is a bigshot business business, she asked me what the message was and so I told her that please tell Amell Harper that his sister is currently in Purulia and to share the address of this house.

She asked me the reason and so I told her about Aamaya Di's story and how we had to shift from Kolkata to Purulia overnight because uncle was terrified of him. She smiled at me and promised me that she will get that done. I gave her Daniel Dada's number and told her that she can contact Daniel Dada to get Amell Harpers number.

They finally blessed me for my good deed and left, but not before promising that they are going to make everyones life in my family miserable, except for Aamaya di in Purulia unless they treat me better.

*** Wow Abhinu is brave. Even though he knows the outcome of what might happen to him when Aamaya di or Uncle would come to know about this, he still came forward to help someone he barely knew. I mean for that matter; we would think twice before helping a transgender. I just hope they didn't do anything nasty to him once they came to know about it. ***

As I was about to read the next entry, someone entered our tent. "Sir, the food is ready. You can come over" saying this he left. I decided to read the remaining entries after I had my food and walked to the officer's mess to have lunch.

                                                   TO BE CONTINUED...

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