Sophia's Freedom

Chapter 49: The Sweet Taste of Freedom

*** After reading Daniel dada's letter, it led me to believe that the main reason why Daniel dada keeps finding excuses to come to Aamaya di’s house was to keep a watch over Abhinu. Other than the fact that he was also somehow related to Aamaya didi. Or was it that just because he wanted to keep a watch over Aamaya di, he pretended to befriend Abhinu so that it would pave the way for him to get easy access to the house. 

Whatever was the reason, I am happy that the 2 lost souls were in safe hands. Even though the crime committed by Aamaya di that night was something, which couldn't be forgiven, but I guess she had to do that to ensure her own safety as well as my Abhinu's safety. 

I still remember the good times he spent with the 4 of us together, in all probability to bring some relief to the misery endured by Abhinu in the Banerjee house. After we shifted to Purulia, we never saw him anymore***

                                                                    14th February 1994

I reached Purulia this morning. I don't have to listen to those stupid girls or that they won't hit me for petty reasons, or best of all I don't need to wear those girls' dresses anymore. I guess this is how the fresh smell of freedom feels like. 

I have been to this place a few times with dad, but this is the first time I am alone. I kept walking until I reach my mom's home. As I tried entering the house, a tall man about 6 feet tall came to me and asked me what I am doing here. I told him that this is my mom's house.

He looked at me and asked if I am Lt. Col. Sujoy Banerjee's son, and I replied that I am. He let me enter the house and offered to get me something to eat too. I asked the man who he was, and he said his name is Jairus. He told me that he is the caretaker of the house and that my father had asked him before his death that if I come back to this house alone, someday, he should try to help me out.

After I freshened up, I found that Mr. Jairus had cooked my favorite Kumpao Chicken and Chicken 65. He told me that my dad once told him that these were my favorite dishes. I have been living with my aunty for nearly one and a half years and she still doesn't know what my favorite dishes are.

After I had my lunch Mr. Jairus made me sit on the sofa and carefully examined the wounds on my face. As he was offering me first aid, he asked me how it happened, and I replied that I fell and got hurt. He even said that if I feel that I am not safe in this house he can help me relocate.

As I stood up to walk around the house, Mr. Jairus stated that the clothes and shoes that I was wearing appeared like unisex dresses. The dungarees are too girly. My inner senses offered me to trust this man and I told him everything about my ordeal during the past 38 days about living my life as a girl. 

By the reaction of his face, I could feel that he didn't believe in anything I said. Of course, how could anyone believe that someone is being made to live like a girl with their relatives? That is the most absurd thing in the world.

However, he asked me to come to his house next door and offered me some clothes to wear. He said that those belong to his son, who is studying in Sainik School Purulia. Even though they were bigger in size for me, but the desire to be a boy again and put on boys' clothes after so long was the most comforting in the world. I put on a pair of shorts and tees, came back to my house, and went off to sleep.

                                                                        16th February 1994

The last 2 days passed without any incident; all I did was read. I completed my Mom's favorite book "Beloved" by Toni Morrison. It is inspired by the life of Margaret Garner, an African American who escaped s*****y in Kentucky in late January 1856 by crossing the Ohio River to Ohio state, which was a free state. When she was captured again, she killed her child rather than sending him back into s*****y.

It was a sad story, but the storyline in this book made me realize that in the last 40 days, whatever had happened to me, was a modified version of s*****y. The difference was that a slave's life was still better. At least they were considered humans unless they make their masters angry, and a male slave didn't have to stay like a girl. They were allowed to watch the sunrise and play outdoors, but in my case, everything is the opposite. A day might come when all the people who knew me will probably forget that I even existed if I continue living with them. Monika was my only hope and my true love, but of late she has not been talking to me. She might have forgotten that I even existed.

*** Tears rolled down my eyes as I read the last line of the journal. Abhinu, how can imagine like that. I... I know, I was guilty of not being there for you when you needed my support the most. I don’t deserve forgiveness from you, but I am just happy that wherever you are now, must be a better place than the hell hole you lived in for 7 years. ***

                                                        17th February 1994

It was 9 o'clock when I woke up. Mr. Jairus was waiting for me at the table to have breakfast together. After breakfast, he told me that he will be at his place. After he left, I had nothing to do and went to my mom's room. There was a photograph of her and dad and little me. I hold the photograph in my hand.

I miss them, I wish they were still alive, Aunty and the others would not have dared to touch me let alone hurt at all. As I was remembering the happy days, my concentration was disturbed by the sound of a siren outside the house. It was a police Jeep entering the premises.

The first thing that entered my mind was to run before the cops could get a hold of me. But seeing Mr. Jairus stopping them on the tracks and arguing with them, which I was unable to hear, it made me change my mind. I saw the policeman give him a piece of paper and he let them in. 

They entered the house and told me that aunty was worried, sick, and had sent them to take me home. I kept telling them that I don't want to go because they hurt me, but the cops would not listen. They told me that I am lying and that aunty had told them that I am suicidal, delusional and have, NSSI and Transvestic Disorder.

They showed copies of medical reports to Mr. Jairus to prove that I am lying. I kept praying to god that Mr. Jairus would stop the cops from taking me away but he didn't resist. The only person I thought would help me has also backstabbed me. I guess dad was wrong in putting his trust in Mr. Jairus and believing that he would protect me. I don't know who will believe in me anymore. I guess it is me only me against the world and I must win.

I reminded Mr. Jairus that he had promised dad that he will keep me safe, but now he is the one sending me to the lion's den again. But Mr. Jairus promised me that he will be back and will take me away from them legally. I don't need to worry about anything.

I left with the cops but before leaving I gave 2 envelopes to Mr. Jairus. I told him that a long time ago, dad gave me a letter and told me that if ever I meet a man called Commander J Christopher, I should hand over the letter to him. But since I have no clue who that person is, will he post the letter to the army headquarters so that the right person receives the letter. Then I requested him to post the other letter too. It belongs to my Aunty Jessica who lives in Scotland.  He promised me that he will get that done. 

I was so down in luck that he probably didn't even open the letters I gave him. By the time I was back in hell, it was 7 p.m. When aunty saw me, she picked me up and started kissing me and telling me how much she missed me. When the cops left, she told me to get back to my room. She will talk to me tomorrow.

***Wow, I don't believe it. You took a great decision to run away but I wish that person Mr. Jairus would have helped you and not have returned you back to the cops. I wonder if he even came back to take you away legally.

But one thing I feel you should have done. You should have asked Mr. Jairus to relocate you. I know dad keeps saying we shouldn’t trust strangers but considering the way you were living with the family, what’s worse can happen. Tears rolled down my eyes, and that I now know that you are soon going to be safe. I could only be angry at myself to make you think that I was not there. ***

I couldn't help but feel sad and hearing me cry brought Koushik dada into my room. I couldn't muster up enough courage or strength to read the remaining pages that mom had left for me...

                                                            TO BE CONTINUED...

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