Never let You Go

Prologue " Someday you'll realize, no matter how much you love them, they'll always treat you as their backup plan." Three years. Three years since that realization hit me like a physical blow, leaving me with a bitter smile and a heart still aching. I remember it vividly. A light drizzle fell that night, forcing me to take shelter in a nearby waiting shed, huddled amongst other drenched commuters. I'd been late leaving school because of an SSLG meeting. Reaching for my phone in my bag, I decided to call Lev, my boyfriend. The lack of passing jeeps and tricycles fueled my growing impatience. My annoyance simmered as his phone rang and rang, unanswered. I was about to try again when a car pulled up in front of the shed. A man stepped out. At first, the darkness obscured his features, but as he approached, my breath hitched. It was Lev. I opened my mouth to call his name, but then I saw her. A woman, a stranger, her arms wrapped around him. Her face was radiant, mirroring the wide, happy smile on Lev's face. A jolt of confusion, then a cold wave of jealousy and pain washed over me. Lev had never mentioned her. Jealousy, sharp and bitter, clawed at my throat. I couldn't contain myself. I had to know who she was. It couldn't be a sister? Hannah was in France, and as far as I knew, Tita Alice only had two children. "Lev..." I called out, my voice trembling slightly. Their attention snapped to me. "Haven... what are you doing here...?" His voice... there was irritation in it, a sharp edge that cut deeper than any accusation. "I'm from school, going home. By the way, who is she?" I blurted out, unable to stop the question that burned on my lips. The woman glanced back and forth between Lev and me, her brow furrowed in confusion, a deep furrow etched between her eyes. "She's... uh..." Lev stammered, but she cut him off. "Who is she, love?" she purred, her arm tightening around Lev's. The word hung in the air, heavy and suffocating. Love. My mind reeled. Did I hear that right? She called him love? Who was this woman? What was going on? "What did she just say, Lev? Why did she call you 'love'? What's going on between you two?!" My voice cracked, tears blurring my vision. I noticed his eyes darting away, avoiding mine, scanning the surroundings as if he wanted to disappear. "Lev! Answer me!" My voice rose, louder this time. I didn't care if people were staring, if I looked like a fool. All I wanted was an explanation, a denial of the awful truth that was forming in my mind. "Celine, alis ka muna," he said softly, his gaze lingering on her, tender and possessive. He looked at her like she was a priceless antique, something fragile and precious that he was terrified of breaking. Celine. "Why are you making me leave, Love? Shouldn't it be that woman? I'm your girlfriend!" she cried, her voice rising. I froze where I stood, unable to react or properly process what I'd just heard from the woman named Celine. When I finally processed what Celine had said, I looked into Lev's eyes, but he avoided my gaze. This time, tears streaming down my face, I approached him, saying, "Is what she said true? What I heard...she's your girlfriend, Lev? Answer me!" My voice was a mixture of anger, hurt, and a desperate hope that Celine was lying, that she was just pretending to be his girlfriend. "Yes, she's right. She's my girlfriend, Haven, so you should just leave. Don't make a scene," he said coldly. And you know that feeling, like it meant nothing to him, what he said, while I was completely shattered, not knowing what to do. Overwhelmed and weak from what had happened, I slapped him hard. "How could you do this to me, Lev? I didn't do anything wrong, did I? Was I lacking in something that made you do this? I love you more than my life, Lev, answer me!!!" Sobbing, I grabbed his collar, my body slowly weakening. I was drenched to the bone from the rain, but I didn't care, while the woman just watched us, confused. But instead of answering, he remained silent, taking Celine's hand. He then forcefully pulled my hand away from his collar, and once he'd freed himself, the two of them turned to leave. Before they could get into the car, however, I approached them, saying, "You're my first love, my everything, but you cheated on me, Lev! Is everything we shared just something you can throw away so easily because of that woman? What does she have that I don't? Is she better in bed-" I couldn't finish my sentence. A hand slammed across my face, the force of it making my mouth bleed. And guess who did it? Lev. He and Celine left me there, while I was left sobbing and dumbfounded there. Even now, the memory brings back the pain of the past, but I've managed to cope. You know what hurts the most? The way he called her "love," the same pet name he used for me. And the way he so casually discarded our four-year relationship, like it meant absolutely nothing. It was as if those years were just...trash. The sheer callousness of it all, the casual betrayal...it still stings.