Just Friends?

That First College Party

As the next few weeks went by coffee turned into dates and dinner for Jake and Mia. Sophie had been out with Adan to coffee a lot and to lunch a couple of times as well. It was at one of these lunches that Adan told Sophie about tonight’s Party. It wasn’t a party that Freshmen usually got invited to, but he had asked her anyway. “You wouldn’t want to go together would you?” he had said. “The party is conveniently being held on the roof top of our apartment complex, and I am conveniently its host,” Adan had said to her faking modesty.

“I’d love to go to a party with you,” Sophie said to Adan. “But under one condition, That Jake and Mia could come along as well.”

Of course, Adan had agreed. He liked Sophie a lot and wanted to get to know Jake better. He still was not completely convinced that what Jake and Sophie shared was just friendship and he wanted to be sure before getting too involved with Sophie. Adan couldn’t risk another heartbreak like the one he has suffered 4 years ago.

The night of the party finally came and the pulsating beat of music echoed through the halls of the apartment complex as Sophie stood in front of the floor-length mirror in her room, adjusting her short curly Strawberry blond hair one last time. Tonight was the first of hopefully many big college parties she would be attending during the next 4 years, and she felt a mix of excitement and nerves. Plus, this was her chance to hang out with Adan and really get to know him outside of their brief encounters for Coffee and lunch, to see him in a more relaxed and fun setting. Sophie was still trying to decide what exactly it was she wanted to pursue with Adan.

Sophie had gone shopping with Mia for tonight. She has never been “out shopping” with another girl that wasn’t her Mom, and she really enjoyed the trip. Mia had talked her into stepping completely out of her comfort zone and into a Short, fitted, dark blue dress that complemented her curvy, but boyish figure. She had decided to pair it with Sparkling ankle boots to add a bit of flair.

Taking one last look in her floor-length mirror before heading out of her room Sophie decided though this wasn’t her normal t-shirt and jeans style, she liked the way she looked and she was glad she had let Mia talk her into this dress. She felt… Hot. Like she was really desirable. It was a feeling she had not had before.

“Wow, you look amazing!” Jake called from the living room, breaking her from her thoughts. He was leaning against the doorframe, looking through her open door right at her in the mirror with an expression she had never seen on his face.

He was half dressed with a fitted blue button down shirt on one arm and a Hunter green on the other, his low-hanging jeans accentuating his athletic build. Sophie felt a rush of warmth at his compliment, or maybe it was his exposed chest, Or… Or… She noticed that the short sleeves of his blue shirt showed off his arm muscles in a most pleasing way.

“Thanks! You clean up pretty well yourself,” she replied, smiling as she took in his look. Hot, That’s how he looked. When, she asked herself, had he gone from that brown haired, brown eyed boy next door she fell in love to this Hot man? And how has she not seen it sooner? This, she thought, is why he didn’t return her feeling, why would he when he looked like this

“So Blue or Green” he asked. “I can’t Decide”

Blue, Sophie thought, Definitely the Blue. “Green,” She said out loud. “You always look good in Green” She lied. She like him in Blue over everything else, but That blue shirt was…

“Just trying to keep up with you,” he said, grinning. God she was beautiful, he thought, and she doesn’t even know it. “You truly are beautiful in that dress.” He said. “So, ready to tear up the dance floor?”

“Absolutely!” Sophie said, her heart racing at his words. But beneath the excitement lurked a flicker of insecurity. What if Adan didn’t have as much fun with her as Jake would have with Mia?

The party was on the top floor of their apartment building and as they arrived, the atmosphere was electric. People filled the space, laughter and chatter mingling with the rhythm of the music. Sophie’s nerves heightened as she searched the crowd for Adan. He had promised to meet them here, Sophie would have much preferred he had picked her up at her door like a real date, but she was also glad she and Jake had arrived together for their first party experience. After all Jake was her best friend. In the chaos of it all, she still felt a pang of anxiety about dating someone when she felt this way about Jake.

“Let’s grab some drinks!” Jake suggested, leading her through the throng of bodies.

As they headed toward the makeshift bar set up in the corner, where a couple of students were pouring cocktails. Sophie settled for a fruity punch, hoping it would calm her nerves. “When is Mia arriving?” she asked.

“Mia had to work late. I said I would pick her up at her dorm in an hour.” Jake replied. “You wanna get in a dance or two before I leave?”

“Good idea,” she replied. They finished their drinks and Headed to the dance floor for a fast number and for the next half hour Sophie was content dancing with Jake and trying to shake off her worries.

Just as Jake was about to leave her to go pick up Mia, Adan finally appeared with a charming smile on his face as he approached. “Hey there Sophie! You look incredible,” he said, looking her up and down like he had never seen a girl in his life and Sophie felt her cheeks flush at the compliment.

“Ok, on that note… I’m out of her” Jake said. “See ya’ll in a bit.”

“Thanks!” Sophie said to Adan as she gave a see you soon smile to Jake. “So do you,” she replied, taking a step closer to him. “I’m glad you made it!”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said Jokingly, offering her a drink. As she looked over his shoulder Jake was giving her a thumb up, with both hands.

They moved deeper into the crowd, chatting and laughing as the music pulsed around them; Adan leading her to a private table set up across the room with a few other students already seated at it. Was he about to introduce her to his friends? Yes, Yes he was. That was exactly what he was doing. “He guys” Adan said addressing everyone. “This is Sophie.” Sophie, “This is Hanna and Ben, I’ve known Ben Since kindergarten. And over here we have Blake, He was Ben and I’s roommate our first year here in the dorms before I moved out on my own and Hanna Moved in.”

“Nice to meet you,” Hanna said patting the seat beside her. “Come, sit with me. I am so glad to have another girl in the group.” Rolling her head and eyes over to Blake she said, “Blake will forever be the chronic womanizing bachelor I think, and Adan, well…” She paused looking directly at Adan and not finishing her sentence.

Sophie found herself enjoying meeting and talking Adan’s friends. They told her stories of how they each met each other and Adan, about their freshman year first party, and about the many girls in the life of Womanizing Blake. Sophie couldn’t help but notice how close the group seemed to each other and how easily she fell into conversation with them as if she had always been part of the group.

She found herself surprised with Adan’s outgoing personality there were only 3 of them this close to him. She had imagined him with an entourage of followers and friends, but she was grateful she fit in so well with his group.

“Oh Baby” said Ben to Hanna with a sly smile as a slow number came on, “You know what their playing? Come on, let’s dance.” Hanna Glowed Red as she silently gave him her hand and let him lead her to the dance floor.

Sophie sensed there was a story there, a private one known only to this group of friends. This song however took Sophie back to a story of her own. This Song was the last song of the night played at her Prom.

{“An old one but a good one” the DJ had said, with a wink “let’s end the night with a slow one for all you couples out there not going home alone tonight.” Sophie and Jake had not gone to prom together, but when this song came on rather than ask his date to dance Jake had held his hand out to Sophie and said, “Come on Sophie, It’s the last song of our last dance of high school, we should share it together, even if it is a sappy old love song.” As Elvis sang “I can’t help, falling in love with you” through the speakers that night, Sophie knew for the first time during that dance her heart would never be the same again. She remembered the way he held her during that dance. He had never held her in his arms like that before or since…}

“Great idea” Adan replied. Bringing Sophie back to the present. “Sophie, can I have the honor of this dance?” Sophie didn’t answer, but she reached up with a hesitant hand and smiled as she place her hand in Adan’s allowing him to lead her to the dance floor.

As the started to dance Sophie saw across the room, Jake appeared to be having a great time with Mia as they also began dancing, their bodies moving rhythmically to the music. Jake holding Mia the way he had Sophie just 4 short months ago. As Elvis’s strong deep voice filling the room, Sophie couldn’t help it when her eyes met Jake’s. What was that she saw in his eye’s. She knew him it looked like… like…, well it looked like that time sophomore year when Misty Harris broke up with him in the middle of homecoming to go out with Wilson thrash. Confusion washed over Sophie. Confusion mixed with Jealousy.

As the song played, she watched Jake and Mia dance together, their movements fluid and enticing. The way Jake spun Mia around, pulling her in close, sent another pang of jealousy slicing through Sophie. Jake was no longer looking in Sophie’s direction and the look in his eyes had changed. Sophie no longer saw what she thought had been pain. Maybe it was just her imagination, or maybe she was just feeing her own pain seeing him look so carefree, his laughter infectious, and Mia—beautiful and confident—seemed to fit perfectly beside him.

Sophie felt a tightening in her chest as she tried to push the feelings away. It was just a Song, Just a dance, she told herself. We were just friends that night at Prom, and we are just friends now. Jake deserved to have fun with someone. Someone he could see a future with. But as she continued to watch, she could feel the tears slowly slip down her face.

“Hey, are you okay?” Adan asked, noticing her distraction. He followed her gaze and frowned slightly. “You look a little...” He didn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t need to.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… a little tired,” she lied trying to brush it off, wiping a stray tear that had slipped down her cheek. Sophie felt as if she was drowning in her emotions. The music softly played around them, and though they had stopped dancing Adan had kept his arms around her.

“Want to step outside for a moment? Get some air?” Adan suggested gently. Sophie nodded, grateful for the reprieve and grateful Adan didn’t seem to want to question her about what he surly already knew.

As the song continued to play, Adan and Sophie stepped out onto the roof top, where the cool night air hit her like a wave. Sophie took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart.

“Hey, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes,” Adan said, leaning against the railing beside her. “This is a lot to take in, and everyone gets a little emotional at parties when a slow song comes on.”

Sophie forced a smile, though it felt strained. “Thanks, it’s just… I thought I could handle this, but seeing them dance like that… I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.”

Adan’s expression softened. “You like him, don’t you?” he asked, his tone gentle.

“I—” Sophie hesitated, her heart pounding. “I thought it was just friendship, but it’s… I don’t know how it has grown so complicated. It’s not like he has lead me on or even showed an interest more than friends… It’s just…” She Didn’t know what it was and couldn’t finish her sentence. There was no explanation she could give Adan that made this ok anyway. She was there at a party with him, telling him she preferred someone she couldn’t even have.

“You’re allowed to have feelings, you know. It doesn’t mean you have to act on them, but it’s okay to feel,” he reassured her.

Sophie appreciated his understanding, but it only deepened her sadness. “I just want to go home,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay, let’s head back,” Adan said, concern etching his features along with an understanding she didn’t expect. He guided her back inside, and Sophie spotted Jake and Mia still dancing as the song ended, oblivious to the turmoil swirling within her.

“I’ll walk you down to your apartment,” Adan said, pulling out his phone to text someone. Sophie nodded, feeling tears brimming again. She didn’t want to cry in front of Adan, but she couldn’t help it. The combination of jealousy, anger and sadness that had been building up over the last 2 years overwhelmed her.

As Adan and Sophie walked out the door Jake was looking in their direction at Sophie’s back, Jealousy threatening to overtake him. How dare Adan leave the party early with Sophie he thought. Surly they were not going down stairs for a private party… Anger boiled in Jake’s blood. “Hey Mia, I’m getting kind of tired. It’s been a long day you know. Would it be alright if I take you home and we call it a night?”

“Sure,” Mia replied. “I have had a long day myself and until that slow song played I didn’t realize how tired I really was.”

As Adan walked Sophie down the stairs to her apartment he stood close, his presence comforting but bittersweet. “I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way,” he said, glancing at her with sincerity. “You deserved to have fun tonight.”

Sophie took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. “I’m sorry for being such a downer,” she said, forcing a weak smile. “There is really nothing between me and Jake. Well, not on his side anyway.”

“Don’t apologize,” Adan replied, his voice warm. “Everyone has their moments. It’s what makes us human.”

As they approached Sophie’s door she knew she was leaving behind a night that could have been filled with laughter and connection. She cast one last glance up the stairs in the direction of the apartment, where she just knew Jake and Mia were still dancing, imagining their silhouettes illuminated by the flashing lights of the party. Sophie turned her gaze to her hands, swallowing hard as she felt the tears fall silently down her cheeks.

Adan noticed and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay,” he murmured, his voice soft and reassuring.

“Yeah, I know,” she replied, her heart aching. “It’s just… hard sometimes.”

As they stood a few moments in silence, Sophie felt the weight of unspoken words lingering between them. She could sense Adan’s concern, but it did little to alleviate the turmoil within her. All she could think about was how she had tried to ignore her feelings for Jake, only to have them resurface with a vengeance tonight and rune what could have been a great relationship with a great guy. Adan would probably never speak to her again after this, much less ask her back out.

She took a deep breath, hoping to shake off the emotions clinging to her.

“Thanks for tonight, Adan,” she said, forcing a smile. “I appreciate you being here for me.”

“Anytime,” he replied, his expression warm. “Let me know when you’re up for that coffee again, Just as friends, No expectations. There’s a story I’d like to share with you.” He added. “And when you’re ready, I’d love to take you out properly.”

Sophie nodded, feeling a flutter of hope, but it was tinged with uncertainty. “I will,” she promised. “I’ll Call you Monday after class and we can meet up then. I’d love the hear that story.”

As Adan walked away, she turned and made her way inside,

About an hour later Jake, still buzzing with Jealous energy practically burst through the door with the excitement of the night. He all but expected to see Sophie and Adan making out, of more, on the couch and was ready to throw a punch like he had never thrown before. But as he opened the door he caught sight of Sophie his excitement shifted, concern flooding his features. She looked like she was sad… Like maybe she had been crying… He wasn’t sure

“Sophie! You came back early!” He said as if he had not seen her leave. “Are you okay? Did Adan do something to upset you?”

“I’m fine,” she said quickly, forcing a smile. But as she looked at him, her heart ached with the knowledge that she couldn’t keep pretending. She had feelings for Jake that ran deeper than she could admit. Tonight had only made it clearer that if she wanted to keep her best friend in her life, she had to find a way to get over him…

“Really?” Jake asked, skepticism clear in his voice.

“Adan was a perfect gentleman,” Sophie replied. “I just… I didn’t feel well,” she said, looking down. “So he walked me home and said good night. Were going to have coffee after class on Monday… When I’m feeling better. Where’s Mia?”

“Next time, just let me know. I’d have come with you,” he said softly, ignoring her question about Mia, as he crossed the room to her, his eyes searching hers as he stroked her arm.

“I know,” she whispered, feeling the weight of unspoken truths between them.

Jake put his forehead to hers in a show of support as he had done so many times over the years. No word, no questions, Just a silent I’m here. The pain in his heart and the idea that Adan may have hurt Sophie in his head despite what Sophie said. He doesn’t deserve her if he can’t see how special she is, Jake thought to himself, oblivious to the fact that he himself was actually the cause of her pain just as much as she was the cause of his. “Hey, I know. How about we watch some old TV?” Jake said.

Sophie smiled a weak smile, “Pizza and ice cream?” She said more as a statement than a question.

“You know it.” Jake replied, pulling out his phone to place the late night order.

As midnight passed and the early AM settled around them they sat close together, but not touching, on the couch watching their favorite old reruns of Friends, Sophie felt a flicker of hope buried beneath her sadness. Maybe tomorrow would be better. Maybe she would find a way to navigate this new reality, one that seemed more complicated than she had ever imagined. Fact, she thought - Jake was with Mia and he would never feel about her the way she felt about him she told herself. Maybe she would take Adan up on that coffee on Monday. Then she would let him as he said “take her out properly.”

Jake, periodically sneaking glances at Sophie’s sad face, felt relieved that things between her and Adan were not working out. He had been casually seeing Mia, but she would never be Sophie. Maybe he should just risk it all and tell her how he feels… Right now… He should tell her right now…

“Sophie?” Jake said. His voice sounding more serious than he had intended it.

“Ya,” Sophie replied wishing his next words would just be him silently pulling her close and kissing her.

“I…” he started and paused. “I…” He started and paused again.

Sophie turned to look at him. Questions filing her eyes.

“I think I’m ganna call it a night.” Jack said chickening out on the truth. “I have to hit the library early tomorrow to finish this project with…” He trailed off, not saying her name.

“Oh, OK,” Sophie said. “So you won’t be here for Sunday Breakfast?”

“Not, tomorrow,” he replied, “But next week I will be for sure.” “Good night Sophie.”

“Good Night Jake.” She replied as Jake slowly walked to his room.

Sophie drifted back to her thoughts… Maybe…, but for tonight, she just needed to take a moment to breathe and figure out what comes next.