My Alaskan mountain man

An awful nightmare

“Barry, my love!” Callie runs up to a handsome man, he looks like he could do with a hair cut and his beard is one of those messy types that get left to grow without being shaped or trimmed for tidiness. He may not look like a million bucks, but the car he is driving sure means he’s got money, just like Callie said.

He gives Callie a big old hug and grabs her arse with a squeeze, “hello baby, I’ve missed you sooo much!”

He turns to me after their embrace and smiles with a lovely genuine smile that immediately relaxes me and I can now see what Callie sees in him.

Hmm, she normally has terrible taste in men, but, I kind of think they might just work as a couple. They are kind of cute together.

I know I’m dreaming, but, Oh, what a wonderful dream this is......

I can feel the happiness radiating from Callie, she is positively beaming and it makes me feel like warm sunshine and hazelnut caramel ice cream. That wonderful feeling that you only get once in your life, if your lucky. Like when you find your true love, or have your first baby. The feeling of warm, fuzzy euphoria radiating through and out of you like rays of sunshine.

I know I’m dreaming right now, but with the goodness and happiness that is filling me right now, I know I am smiling in my sleep. Oh why don’t I dream like this more often.....

***

Now deeper in my sleep, my dream is changing, it feels cold and dark, menacing. I hear men’s drunken horrible laughter and my insides are turned upside down. I don’t like this dream anymore. My head is spinning, “No, don’t touch me. Stop don’t do that. Why can’t I,.. why can’t I fight back? Stop, stop, this isn’t fair!”

“Aaahhh!” I scream!

“Run Callie, RUN!” My body is shaking and I’m terrified of what’s going to happen to Callie.

I push back with my arms as hard as I can. I feel the drugs have made my arms tired and weak, but I will fight.... I will fight to survive...

I open my eyes.....

***

Doc, “sshh, hush now my dear, it was only a nightmare, sshh. You’re all right now.” She says in a calm and hushed voiced.

“It was only a nightmare, it’s over now!”

I look in amazement at this kind beautiful face of a woman, I can’t see the horrible evil faces of the men who were trying to hurt me in my dream. I feel my senses come back to me and my heart rate starts to slow down, I feel my breathing slow and relax and I close my eye and it’s such a relief that it was only a dream. I terrible nightmare.

As I lay listening to this lovely, kind faced woman hum a soft lullaby and stroke my arm with the most gentle, soothing strokes, I feel myself calm and I remember that I’ve been in some kind of accident and that she’s doctor. I lay back and relax in the comfort of knowing that she is here taking care of me.

I breath a sigh of relief!

It doesn’t last long however, I open my eyes when I hear loud stumbling footsteps and a panicked mans voice and then the calm of the doctor lady saying, “it was only a nightmare”, as if it was nothing to be concerned about.

I see a tall man, his eyes wide with fright yet his fists balled as if poised to fight. He looks exhausted with dark rings under his eyes. His hair is short but messy as if he’d just woke up. His long, but nicely trimmed beard matched his chestnut coloured hair.

I recognise him immediately as the kind man who put lip balm on my painful, dry, cracked lips. Ah, the relief it brought was immense.

Then another, older man comes into the room, “what’s all the commotion about?”.

Not entirely sure who all these people are, or what I am doing here, I feel increasingly weak. I look up at the handsome, tired looking bearded man, “you...put lip balm...on my lips?”

He nods, yes.

And all I manage to push out is a weak, “thank,... you”.

The next day when I wake I am faced with the handsome well kept bearded man and the older woman who claims to be a doctor.

I feel a bit better in both my body and mind. Yesterday when I woke I was so incredibly tired and my mind wasn’t able to focus as well as I would have liked it to. But today, well today I feel well rested and if I didn’t have this awful, stabbing pain in my side every time I move an inch, I would probably have already got up to get the day started.

The doctor lady offers to help me sit up and she hands me a cup of hot steaming coffee. It smells divine. As I sip it slowly the doctor is explaining how she would like me to start getting up and moving around as soon as I can. My heart leaps because that is exactly what I want to do. I want to be better already. I want to get back to my life and back to my sister Callie. We never stay apart from each other for very long periods of time, surely she’s worried about me, worried about where I am. As my thoughts turn to Callie, I get an overwhelming feeling of dread come over me. But before I have a chance to dwell too much on my thoughts, I see the bearded mans face turn bright red and fierce at the mention of me getting out of bed.

Not entirely sure why he would feel the need to be, but I get the feeling that he feels like he needs to protect me from the doctor. The thought makes me giggle inside at how preposterous that is. Why would a stranger be concerned about protecting me? But at the same time, something deep inside me wishes that he would protect me.

I’ve never been a girl that looks for that kind of a relationship from a man, I have always fought my own corner and stood up for myself. I’m a strong independent woman that doesn’t need a man to be her protector. I might be the youngest of Callie and I but I am definitely the one who takes charge and thinks logically, takes care of business so to say.

But in this moment, here in this strange cabin come makeshift hospital room, I want so badly for this bearded man that I don’t know from a bar of soap, to wrap his arms around me in his warmblooded manly embrace, to hold me tight and to just protect me from the world.