Caught between my bully and my step brother

Chapter 19

His leg moved, just an inch closer to mine, but I noticed.

Then he moved his other hand and placed it behind his head as he sunk further into the seat.

I noticed that too.

Toby's foot hit my chair from behind, goosebumps rose up my skin, awareness. That's what it was. I was fully aware of every move they were making.

But when Liam moved his hand and placed it over mine that was resting on the arm between us both, I hadn't noticed that, and it had made me jump slightly at the sudden contact. I looked at him, and he gave me a small smile and squeezed my hand. Was he reassuring me ? Could he tell that I was a bag of nerves?

I heard a growl to my right and the back of my chair got hit with a thud. Toby had kicked my chair and when I looked to the other side of me, Trent was glaring at Liam's hand on mine. I narrowed my eyes at him. What was it with these two ? Why were they all of a sudden acting so strangely ?

Liam's hand squeezed mine again as if reminding me he was there, but I didn't look at him. I looked back at the screen. I felt this rising overwhelm come over me, like I was being overloaded. I felt my breathing start to pick up and when the thud on my chair happened again it only made my breathing rank up and start coming out quicker. s**t , it felt like a panic attack. I snatched my hand back from Liam and stood up abruptly, causing Liam and Trent to both snap their eyes up at me.

" Sorry Liam, I just, I just, I need the bathroom "I said too loudly, and got shushed for it by the other people trying to watch the movie. Embarrassment flushed through me at the fact I just told the whole theater I needed to relieve myself. I scurried past Liam and bolted down the steps, grateful I didn't trip down them in the dark.

I ran down the corridor and pushed out the door back into the light of the hall and glanced side to side looking for the toilet sign. Other customers heading to their movie all glanced at me oddly. I didn't blame them. I had just practically thrown myself out of the door and looked like I had run a marathon with how fast I was breathing.

I spotted the lady's sign and put my head down so as not to make more of a fool of myself as I headed towards it. Once inside, I went to the sink and ran the cold tap and placed my hands under it. Trying to use the cold to distract me from having a full panic attack. I practiced my deep breathing. Unfortunately, I knew how to do that. I had these from time to time, but it didn't happen often. More so, only when I had been victim of one of their public pranks that had left me mortified in the past.

The door to the bathroom opened, but I didn't look at who had come in. I closed my eyes and dropped my head while I tried to stop it taking hold.

" Addison "Toby's voice made my breathing stop, my heart thuds painfully now, and my eyes squeeze shut.

" Addison "he sounded closer, and I snapped my eyes open and looked up through the mirror. He was looking at me like he was worried. Worried !!

" WHAT ? " I snap out harshly, loudly. It takes him back a little. I see his eyes widen slightly before he places his mask back on, and he looks composed again, like we were eating breakfast around the table at home.

" What's wrong ? " He asks me like he's bored and doesn't really want to be asking me.

I let out a harsh laugh and pulled my hands out of the water that had practically frozen my fingers.

" The f*ck do you care " I snap.

I see his jaw tighten , and he looks away from me his eyes narrow on the door like it had offended him.

" Panic attack assh*le " I snap. I don't know why I told him, I don't know why I carried on either. Maybe I just want him for once to acknowledge what he and his best friend do to me. I had never let them see this, I hadn't wanted them to see how they make me feel , how broken they had made me over the years. I didn't want them to spot more of a weakness and prey on it.

" Panic attack ? " He says like he had never heard of the word.

" Yeah , panic attack I get them when I feel overwhelmed or when I am embarrassed or feel like I am unworthy and nothing but dirt on yours and Trent's shoes. The first one happened when you and Trent decided it was fun to stink bomb my locker and when I opened it, it sprayed all over me and people laughed and said they didn't smell a difference. I didn't know what it was at first. I ran to the bathroom and thought I was dying. The second one happened when you decided it was a good idea to tell everyone I tried it on with your dad, and you caught me thrusting my t**s in his face, and they all thought me and my mum shared your dad. I was fifteen in a conservative town everyone thought I was a wh*re , I walked into school to everyone calling me a daddy f*cker. The third, when Trent " his growl stopped me, and he snapped his head back at me to glare at me.

" I get it " he snapped.

" No you don't, "I snapped angrily.

Tears streaked down my face freely, my hands shook. I shouldn't be exposing myself this way to him.

His face morphed into what looked like regret, but that couldn't be right. Surely it can't be. Toby wouldn't ever feel that way because of anything he had ever done to me.

" Addison " his voice softened, and he walked towards me. I backed myself up as much as I could, my lower back hitting the sink. He looked at me like I was a frightened bird about to fly away, my eyes flicked at the door. Maybe I could be. Maybe I should run. But before I could get my body to do that, he was in front of me. I kept my eyes away from him, I couldn't look at him and let me see more how much I was broken right now.

" Why couldn't you just let me have a normal date? Why do you both have to ruin everything? " I whispered, when he didn't say anything.

" Am I not allowed to just feel a small bit of normalcy? Can I not have just one moment of feeling like I am attractive and wanted by someone instead of everyone looking at me like I was a virus? "I carried on, all the while my mind was screaming at me to shut the hell up.

" We can't let that happen," his answer shocked me, and I looked up at him, my mouth open in shock. There it was, the admission that they intentionally made sure no guy came near me. It was as close to one I was ever going to get, I bet.

" Why ? " I asked, "Why do you both hate me so much? What have I ever done to you ? " I asked.

His hand came up, he hesitated as his hand neared my face. Then, so slowly his fingers touched my cheek, softly, gently, he looked nervous. Toby was never nervous. His eyes scanned my face and his mouth opened. He was about to speak when the door opened and we both looked to see Tammy standing there.

Toby stepped back, his hand dropped from my face as Tammy looked between us both eyes narrowed.

" What the hell is going on ? " She snapped.

" Nothing "Toby growled.

" Nothing ? Then why are you in the women's toilets with her" she sneered as she looked at me.

Toby's jaw was back to being clenched tight. " Just checking on my sister "he stated, and that sick feeling came back, and I could tell with how his face twisted when he said it he hated calling me that too.

"Stepsister " Tammy corrected like it meant something , like she was stating something else. What who knows.

" Yea ..... step " Toby snarled at her. She scowled at that, and I felt like I was missing whatever was going off , whatever the hidden meaning was.

" She doesn't feel well. I am taking her home, go tell her date she's leaving" Toby snapped at Tammy, and she let out a scoffed laugh.

" You're not leaving me here " she screeched out, like it was an insult to her.

" I am not .. " I went to say not going with him when he turned his glare on me and my mouth snapped shut.

" Yes I am " he stated matter of factly ,he reached down grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him not harshly just moving me along , Tammy stood blocking the door though.

She looked like she was about to combust " Toby are you serious right now ? " She seethed.

He let out an annoyed growl. " Yes, she is my family, and she isn't feeling well, so move now Tammy, go get a lift off one of the others, " he placed his hand out and moved her aside. He didn't drag her, just moved her out the way, then pulled me in front of him and placed his hand at the bottom of my back and guided me out of the room. I started when I went face to face with Trent, who was leaned back against the wall at the side of the bathroom door. He looked haunted, his face paler, his eyes hardened.

Across from us down the hall stood Liam looking confused as he watched us all pile out of the bathroom.

" Tell him you feel ill Addison " Toby whispered in my ear.