Perlita (life after law school).

"Perlita, What is your ambition in life?" Asked by Mrs. Ramirez, my teacher in fourth year highschool. "I want to become a lawyer just like my father. I intend to follow in his footsteps!" With a proud smile on my face as if I already know what the future has for me. I mean how hard can it be: read, memorize and recite. Turned out I have bitten off more than what I can chew. It was more than I expected. "Hi, I am Perlita and this is my journey towards the unforeseen." Four years and three months have passed. (5:40 PM, Wednesday). "My gosh I am so b****y late!" After alighting from a cab, I briskly walked inside the building. As if my life depends on it. Grrr! If only my legs could walk faster. I am 5 feet and 4 inches in height. Obviously I am not short. Right now I just need longer extremities to take me to the room faster than the ray of light. "Shoot! I forgot there was no elevator in the building. Can it get any worse than this?" "I am fried!" I had to climb up the marble stairs up to the second floor. I was at my ideal weight. I have no qualms in terms of any cardiovascular exercises. Apparently, it was not an issue for me. It's just that I am running late for my first class, Introduction to Law. After sprinting my way up to the second floor. Alas! I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Room 401. What "light" are you referring to? You are about to enter a room that you do not know whether you will come out alive or not? My heart is beating heavily and heavier as I get nearer to the browned and tall door with antique architecture. "should I open the door, or run away and NEVER RETURN!" Run for your life! I feel like I am going to puke anytime because of immense anxiety. "Ok, I am gonna turn the knob, open the door and just suck it in." "This is gonna be the end of me." "Creak!" I opened the door, ignoring everyone because I was ten minutes late. I just continued walking, with light steps like a thief in the night- towards my assigned seat. "Perlita Gomez!" called by our law professor, Atty. Gerard Diaz. "Huh?" My heart just jumped out of my chest. My heart was beating so fast because I thought I would be hanged any minute now. At the same time confused. I was focused on how to get to my seat- alive- then I heard my name. I was not sure whether it was my name that I heard. Then I glance at the center table in the front there I saw at Atty. Diaz. Oh hi Sir, I did not notice you. As if! "Recite the Preamble!!" With a poker face staring at me with a question mark on his face as if asking me, "why on earth are you late!" Actually, when he called my name I was a few inches from my designated seat. "Wait, Sir, let me compose myself first!" Wait, Did I really say that? I literally ordered the scariest law professor to wait because I needed to catch my breath. I am not sure why I said it to this scary law professor. What the b****y h*ll am I saying. What a loony! Atty. Diaz frowned upon me but patiently waited. (much to my surprise). I took my pink bimpo from the side pocket of my red and black backpack and wiped my face. I was breathing heavily and swallowed to wet my dry throat. Without taking my seat the Preamble suddenly uploaded in my vision. Like I can see the words, verbatim, from the codal of the Philippine Constitution. Then I start--- "Article 1 of the Philippine Constitution. We, the sovereign Filipino people, imploring the aid of Almighty God, in order to build a just and humane society and establish a Government that shall embody our ideals and aspirations," I was breathing heavily while I was reciting but I just continued. I do not care if this will be my last breath. "promote the common good, conserve and develop our patrimony, and secure to ourselves and our posterity the blessings of independence," I stopped again to catch my breath. I was looking at the blackboard so I can focus on what I see in my vision. If I look at Atty. Diaz I might puke with anxiety because of his poker face. Scariest poker face I have ever seen in my entire existence. "and democracy under the rule of law and a regime of truth, justice, freedom, equality"--- "WHAT?" Atty. Diaz interrupted me with a wrinkled on his thick brow that expresses displeasure. By judging his facial expression I swear he wanted to say "stupid!" So, I stopped and second guessed what I had said until I realized "love" should come first before "equality." "love, equality, and peace, do ordain and promulgate this Constitution." Whoah! I've done it! I was able to recite the Philippine Preamble. I won a jackpot or a lottery. My heart was jumping for joy. I feel like I am on top of the world. Then I looked at his face. "Why are you late?" "Ss-Sir the traffic flow was really heavy." "So what! Do not give me that excuse because that was my excuse when I was a law student!" Listening to his voice was nerve racking. "Next time you come to class on time. leave your house five hours earlier!" "I couldn't care less if you live in timbuktu!" "Traffic! traffic! Traffic your face!" In law school, professors do not usually flatter you if you have done a great job in recitation or exams. You will not even know whether your answer to their question is correct. You will either be ordered to remain standing, or they will just let you take your seat without telling the correct answer. If this is the case, how would you know if you will pass the subject? Well, the verdict will be on your final grade. Before you are able to enroll in the second semester. The grades of the students will be posted on the bulletin outside the administration office. The feeling of going towards the direction of the office seems like waiting for the verdict of the judge whether you are guilty or not, for the crime that you may or may have not committed. There were students who would just burst into tears because they felt that it would be the end. There was this student who did not care about the result. For those who passed, of course, what do you expect-they will jump for joy-like they do not consider the feelings of those who failed. But you know what, we have to give it to them. If their reaction is exaggerated, give it to them. They deserve every bit of it. Let them savor the moment of passing the subject. Particularly of the professor was the terror one whse habit is to flunk ninety percent of the student. Going back to the class in Introduction to Law (intro to law as we fondly call it). I did not move while he gave me lectures about how lame my excuse was. However, deep inside me I felt a sense of satisfaction because I had already memorized the Preamble a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to check whether this student who came late, sweaty would be able to recite after being called randomly. "SIT DOWN!" yelled by Atty. Diaz. So I took my seat with a humble face so that Atty. Diaz will not yell at me again for being a smug. Good job Perlita! you deserve a tap on the back. Maybe you can treat yourself at Starbucks and order Caramel Macchiato and Banoffee pie. Atty. Diaz continue with his t*****e. Started to scramble the index cards in his hands. Calling other names. "Mr. Quiambao!" I lowered the volume of his voice and the surroundings in my head. I did not pay attention to my other classmates whether they could recite the Preamble. It was a golden rule to stay modest even if you did a great job in the recitation. I just took the codal on the Philippine Constitution and went over the other provisions to read in silence. Until the time is up for the next subject. I was confident that my name would not be called again. SMUG! I disagree! give the poor girl a break. She was caught off guard but was able to pull it off because something told her to memorize the Preamble in advance. Cut me some slack, will you! My seatmate slid a note on my left arm saying "Good job girl." "Let us talk about it later" I whispered to her and gave her a facial signal that we might get caught by Atty. Diaz. The usual t*****e continues. One student was able to recite it. "You did not study? Remain standing Mr. Gonzaga! "Mrs. Cruz? Is this Miss or Mrs? "Mrs. Cruz, Sir." "Alright, recite The Preamble!" "We the sovereign Filipino People--- "What article are you reciting?" "Uhmm, Article 1, Sir." "Of what Law?" "Philippine Constitution." "Then say it!! This time the voice of Atty. Diaz became harsh. "Class, you have to be aware of the basis of what you are reciting. This is crucial If you become a lawyer. Im actual practise, all the documents, pleadings or evidence has to be with basis. Therefore, train yourself as early as now to act like a lawyer and think like a lawyer!" "Oh, what happened to you Mrs. Cruz? You seemed frozen there! "Recite!" "Uhm, Article 1 of the Philippine Constitution," her voice this time is shaking. "What is wrong with you? Are you gonna collapse?" " RECITE!" But Mrs. Diaz could no longer continue and just said, "I am sorry Sir but I forgot." "You should have said it earlier so I do not have to waste my time on you!" Atty. Diaz is starting to get annoyed and his brows are not meeting at the center. "Class, you should know what you are about to get yourself into when you decide to enter law school." "If you do not study or simply do your assignment, you are just wasting your time." "For those spoiled and their parents are the one financing your school, YOU ARE WAISTING THEIR MONEY!" I can feel the tension surrounding the room as Atty. Diaz is becoming mad. "Anna!? "Yes Sir!" "What Sir… RECITE!" Anna stood up but could not speak a word. "b****y hell! Don't tell me you did not memorize?! "This is not a beauty contest, you know what, why don't you apply to Philippine Airlines or Cebu Pacific and submit your resume and apply for flight attendant, maybe you will succeed!!" But his eyes look down at the legs of Anna. She is wearing a knee length skirt. Tsk! Tsk! I look at Anna and judge her and wonder why she was complimented by Atty. Diaz. She is 5 feet and 7 inches in height proportionate to her weight. She does look like a flight attendant. If you tell a girl to apply for a flight attendant position, That is a compliment. It means she is pretty and she has the body frame fit for that job. In short, she is not ugly nor fat. Wrong move Atty. Diaz. Anna will even be elated for being told pretty, sexy with a pleasing personality. With an irritating voice Atty. Diaz called -- "Mr. Raul Mercado! RECITE!" "Preamble from the 1987 Philippine Constitution-- We, the sovereign Filipino people, imploring the aid of Almighty God, in order to build a just and humane society and establish a Government that shall embody our ideals and aspirations, promote the common good, conserve and develop our patrimony, and secure to ourselves and our posterity the blessings of independence and democracy under the rule of law and a regime of truth, justice, freedom, love, equality, and peace, do ordain and promulgate this Constitution." "What?" You think you can now pass the bar exam by reciting the Preamble? sarcastically said my Atty. Diaz. "Why are you wearing a suit like you are an agent of an Encyclopedia? Mr. Mercado was confused and kept silent. "Where are you connected?" "I am just a law student!" With big eyes about to pop Atty. Diaz responded, "And you are wearing a suit? Why, you think you will pass the bar exam? Or you feel like you are already a lawyer?" Mr. Mercado was not moving a muscle. I can sense he is humiliated. "And what is that… a briefcase?! What is in it...Encyclopedia!!" "SIT DOWN!" shaking his head left and right with disappointment in his face. "Mr. Cortez!" "I am sorry sir but I was not able to memorize the Preamble but I memorize the National Territory.". "WHAT!" With a loud voice uttered by Atty. Diaz!!" "Really, you want to negotiate with me, or if you want, we can exchange seats and take over. You will be our professor then!" "i***t! Remain standing!" "Shulammite Boeda!" "Oh what? By looking at your face it seems you have not done your homework? Shullammite has not said a word but Atty. Diaz has already concluded that she could not recite. So Shullamite remained quiet and did not have the nerve to speak her mind. Maybe due to the last student he insulted. Hence she did not push the issue and let Atty. Diaz says whatever he wants. "Ms. Boeda, look outside the window." Shullammite obediently looks outside. "What do you see?" "Nothing sir." answered by her with a nervous voice. "That will be your future-Nothing!" "Do not come to class unprepared." "Since nobody here is interested in becoming a lawyer, I will only call one name then we will call it a day." "Mr. Paul Oriballo!" No sound. I looked at him, he just stared at the floor. After 5 seconds, Atty Diaz said "Mr. Oriballo, if I were you, stand on top of your table, tie your necktie around your neck, hang the other end on the ceiling fan, then ask your seatmate to kick the table for you!" Atty. Diaz started to rub his forehead using his middle finger. "You guys are giving me a hard time. You think I am benefiting from teaching? Dammit! My salary as a teacher is not even enough for my everyday gas. I only teach because of the labor of love. I want to impart the future lawyer with my knowledge. But it seems you are not interested. You are wasting my gas, my time and energy. Worst! You are wasting money!" Everyone in the classroom kept silent and glancing down to their codal. Before we know it, Atty. Diaz stood up from his chair, grabbed his bag and index card and walked out from the classroom and left the door kept open. As the professor left, everyone looked at each other with a question mark. what had just happened? After a few seconds, everyone started talking to each other and their seatmate. We wondered if that would be the end of the class, or he would come back. Nobody knows. Shulammite approached me and said it was a good job for reciting. She was about to cry when said "I actually memorized the Philippine Preamble. I just do not know why he did not let me recite. I got really nervous when he raised his voice. So I just kept silent. If only he gave me the chance to recite I could have done it also just like you." I saw her eyes getting wet. So I said "Nah! I am not sure if I passed the recitation. As you can see I made a mistake, plus I was late and he was so mad and asked why am I late. I didn't even see if he put any grade on my index card." "Do not worry about it." "Yeah! I guess so, there is always a next time!" "I nodded my head, "Agree." The school assistant came to our classroom and instructed us to leave now. "Atty. Diaz won't be coming back. He already left but he instructed that he will be posting the next assigment for the next meeting. You can all go home now." After hearing that, we all packed our things up. One moved the table away from him. The other stood up with a scarf wiping her tears while walking towards the door. You can hear the sounds of tables and chairs being moved. Sounds from the steps of a leader's shoes, high heels and even rubber shoes. "I am so lucky my name was not called. I was not prepared." "Lucky you. Unlike me I got insulted even." "Come on! That was not insulting. He indirectly called you pretty and sexy." I can hear my classmates sharing their reactions and how they got nervous. One even said he prayed so hard that his name will not be called. I was standing up in front of my table and putting my codal, notebook and highlighters inside my backpack, when I heard. "Perlita!" I looked around and saw Anna saying.. "You did well, girl! "I do not know if I did well, he was so sarcastic to me." "Oh come on! You did great. Imagine, you came in late but somehow you managed to recite the Preamble." "Well, I am not sure. But let us hope to pass this subject because Sir Diaz is so scary." "I agree. This is just our first day and we have 6 subjects to think about." As I was about to reply Anna interrupted me saying.. "You know what, I heard our professor in Constitutional Law is ten times scarier. You will get nervous by just hearing her footsteps." "My gosh! Goodluck to all of us!" We both laughed. Finally, my classmates and I left the room one by one. You will see two friends walking side by side while talking to each other. You will talk about politics. Their point of views about the latest news on the scam allegedly committed by a senator. I saw Raul approaching Anna.. ‘Hi, Anna, I am Raul.” He offered his right hand to her hoping to shake her hand. “Hello!” Anna shook Raul’s hand. “Do not worry about your recitation, my friends who are in the third year, in law school it is normal to be humiliated. It is part of the process. We just have to focus on passing the midterm and final examination. That will be the basis of our final grade.” Anna was attentively listening to Raul whilst providing her comfort. He seems genuine, though. I noticed Raul is blushing while trying to compose himself while talking to Anna. Hmm! I can sense a love team in the future. My other male classmates were discussing that they want to go to one small eatery located a few meters from the school. "Pare, let us go to this small eatery just a few blocks away from here, just hang out!" "Sure, count me in!" "Hey, let me join you!" "Alright!" They probably just want to hang out and relax and try to forget the humiliation we have experienced tonight. “Perlita, where are you heading? Asked by Shulammite. “”I am going straight home. I need to read the ten cases assigned to us. So I will prepare for tomorrow’s recitation.” “A ok. You take care and see you then.” “Bye everyone!” Everyone bid goodbye to each other. One by one they disappear from my sight while going on their way. As I walked towards the main door of the school I felt really proud of myself. Based on my recitation tonight, I felt positive. I think I will survive law school. I continued walking to the road. Crossed to the other sidewalk, looking after the tricycle and motorcycles and cars passing by. Until I reached the station where public utility vehicles are lining up. “Manong, where is the ride going to the Northern side?” He pointed me in the direction. So I went straight there and paid for my fare. Afterwards, I sat in my space and waited for the vehicle to fill up with passengers. Few minutes the vehicle was already occupied with other passengers. “Ok, we are leaving, have you all paid your fare?” The assistant or conductor closed the public vehicle and tapped on the window. It was a signal to the driver that everything is all set to go. The vehicle started the engine and, driving its way to the small space going to the main road. I will make it. I will survive law school. Flashback First day of law school. First week. Subject: Introduction to law. Time check - 5:30PM “Perlita!” I stood up. “Why do want to become a lawyer” “Sir, I want to follow the footsteps of my father.” “Does your father want you to follow in his footsteps?” I think I was humiliated but I was determined to answer more of his questions. “Why do you wanna follow in his footsteps? “Because I saw how he helped people.” “Really, then why don't you join a charity organization or proceed with medicine so you can save life? “We have many lawyers already we do not want another typical dumb blonde like you who is not sure why she is in law school.” This time my confidence has been wiped out. Who are you to insult me and question what I want in life? “I do not think you will even survive the first semester.” I was just looking at Atty. Diaz and let him talk and hope he will finish with his torment. Present time. "Hi, anak. How are you? "Hi mamu, it was alright. I was able to recite the Philippine Preamble. The thing is, I was 10 minutes late. I was called to recite even if I have not reached my seat." "Oh my so what happened?" "It was nerve racking because I had to catch my breath while reciting and at the same time thr professor was staring at me like I am a criminal." Her mother just laughed on the other line. Who is living abroad with Perlita's father. "Well, what is important is that you were able to recite, right?" "Yes, mamu." "Where are you now?" "I am in a public utility vehicle going home." "Huh! Oh my, let us hang up the phone it is not safe, there are pickpockets out there who might see you holding your phone!" "Ok mamu, I will hang up now." "Take care my, baby, labyu!" "Labyu too mamu!"