The BAREN Wife

CONSULTATION

LUMABAS AKO sa tent at naabutan ang abala na mga tao at iilang staff sa pagkuha ng larawan kay Ninya para sa beauty products nito. Rancel was the one who was taking the pictures, kasama sa products ang anak ni Ninya kaya tuwang tuwa si Rancel sa kanyang trabaho ngayon.

“He is very fond of my daughter,” paglapit sa akin ni Ninya habang nakaupo kami malapit sa shooting area. We are in the garden because the products’ theme is garden and fairy set-up. “What brings you here anyway?”

“Nagdala ng pagkain.” Hindi mawala ang titig ko kay Rancel kung paano niya nagagawang makuhanan ng larawan ang anak ni Ninya ng walang kahirap hirap.

“I told you, you should open up your restaurant or cafe. Habang hindi pa kayo nagkakaanak. When I gave birth and focused on Tahlia, halos wala na akong oras sa trabaho.” Sumimsim siya ng kape. “Kapag nagkaanak kana, makakalimutan mo na yung sarili mo. I mean, it’s alright to prioritize your children because it gives you priceless happiness.”

“Hmm…” I only hummed and laughed it out.

“It was your dream, right? Nagbago na ba ang pangarap mo?” Nang hindi ako umimik ay bumaling siya sa akin. “We are like… like what 26 years old? It’s not too late. Ang galing mo kayang magluto at mag-bake. I was inspired to bake because of you. Hindi ka lang marunong, magaling ka!”

Napabaling ako muli kay Rancel. Hawak ang camera at malaki ang ngiti sa labi sa kanyang ginagawa.

BINABA KO ang iPad ko nang tabihan ako ni Rancel at inabot sa akin ang magazine at isang libro. Napalunok ako at umangat ang tingin sa kanya. He just came from work, akala ko ay magbibihis siya ngunit may kinuha pala sa bag.

“You can read that when you have time. My friend recommended that to me. May iilan na rin akong binabasa tungkol sa ganyang mga libro kapag may oras ako sa studio.” He laughed and buried his face on my neck. “It's preparation, that will help.”

Bumagsak ang titig ko sa libro. It was about the journey of a mother to her pregnancy. Sa magazine naman ay tungkol sa mga babaeng buntis at ina.

“You’re reading these types of books?”

“Uh-huh,” he answered and planted small kisses on my neck.

“Wow!” mangha kong sagot. “Babasahin ko ito.”

Ang ngiti ko ay napawi nung ang palad ni Rancel ay dahan-dahang humaplos sa aking tiyan.

“I can’t wait,” he said almost whispering. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay pinisil ang aking puso sa kanyang sinabi kahit wala namang mali roon.

“Ako rin,” tanging naging sagot ko. I touched his cheek and caressed it.

BUMABA AKO ng hagdan at naabutan na si Lucy doon na nakaayos at handa na sa pag-alis namin, hinihintay na lang ako. My husband went out of town for his scheduled photoshoot, medyo malayo dahil sa venue na gusto ng client niya. Kaya naman dahil wala akong magawa ay inabala ko ang aking kaibigan kahit alam kong abala rin ito.

“Why do you want to see an Ob-gyn? May problema ka ba?” takang tanong niya habang nagalakad kami papasok ng Eterio Hospital.

Noon ay hindi ko alam kung bakit ang daming kilalang Doctor ni Lucianda. But now I kind of understand why. She is actually the one who helped me find a good doctor and scheduled an appointment without any hassle. And the way I see it, Lucy seems pretty popular here in the hospital.

“Wala naman, I just want to consult a Doctor.”

“Bakit? Minamadali ka ni Rancel na mabuntis?” she sounded a bit annoyed.

Mariin akong umiling.

“Hindi! Hindi,” I said honestly. Wala namang ganun. “I just want to make sure.”

Bumagal ang lakad niya hanggang sa huminto kami at hinarap ako nito.

“Apat o limang buwan pa lang naman nung makasal kayo. Hindi naman yan dumadating agad-agad. Do you badly want to have a baby? Parang hindi naman.” She crossed her arms and shifted her eyes to the door beside her. Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil tinuro na niya ang pinto. “Do you want me to go inside with you or I will wait here?”

“Ako na lang,” marahan kong sagot.

“Okay. Message me when you’re done. I’ll just roam around.” She checks her wristwatch and brings her phone out. Nagpaalam siya sa akin at nauna pang umalis.

Kumatok ako at pumasok. I was assisted by the nurse and eventually, the Doctor came in, he is a man. Hindi ko na rin naman iyun pinansin at matapos ang pagpapakilala ay nagsimula na kaming mag-usap.

“If it’s because of hormonal imbalances then we should not worry that much. That’s normal if you have irregular periods. But if it’s in terms of health conditions, then we should be worried because you might really struggle to get pregnant.” Ngumiti ito sa akin at pinagsiklop ang kanyang mga palad. “I only have time for consultation because I have another client. Do you want to have another appointment so we can conduct a test and assessment?”

“Ahm… sure,” alanganin kong sagot dahil lalaki ito at gusto ko sanang babae ang aking Doctor. But I will try to talk to Lucy about that.

“Do you and your partner often have s*x?” He asked straightly while checking something on his paper. Nung hindi ako agad makasagot ay umangat ang tingin niya sa akin.

“Ah! Yes?”

He chuckled and nodded his head.

“Do you have any health issues?”

“Sa pagkakaalam ko wala naman.”

“We should check to be certain.”

“Is it normal? Halos limang buwan na kaming kasal at…” I couldn’t finish my words properly.

“Yes, it is. Hindi pa naman ganun katagal. But I can give you a book for tips that might help you.”

I try not to grimace but it seems evident on my face. Dahilan para matawa ito. Hindi ko pa nga nasisimulan ang binigay ni Rancel sa akin ay may panibago naman.

PAGKALABAS KO ay hinintay ko pa si Lucy dahil hindi ko alam kung saan nagpunta. Pabalik na siya nung tumayo ako.

“What happened?” she casually asked.

“Wala naman. He will conduct a test para ma-examine ako.”

Palabas na kami ng hospital nung may humabol na nurse ka Lucianda bitbit ang suit nito.

“Miss Solero! Naiwan niyo sa office ni Dok.” aniya ng nurse at ngumiti ito sa amin.

I was silent while waiting for Lucy to wear the suit. Napataas na lang ako ng dalawang kilay at ngumiti.

“Tara na?” aya ko rito.

“Tara,” she answered in a low tone.