The BAREN Wife

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(PRESENT)

December

Salaez’ Residence

I SLOWLY OPENED the door of the room of this abandoned home. Banayad akong napapikit nang maramdaman muli ang tahanan na aming pinangarap ni Rancel. A home that filled enough memories for a life that brings so many stories. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagsikip ng aking dibdib, marahil sa tuwa at lungkot. Dahil nanatiling matatag at nakatayo ang binuo naming pundasyon.

I stepped forward and heard how the floor creaked each time I walked.

Gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi ko ng makita ang ilang larawan naming dalawa. Ang kama, cabinet, vanity table… I smiled again when I saw an image of Rancel roaming around the room. Ang mga alaala tuwing nakakalimutan niyang isarado ang cabinet, ang paborito niyang upuan sa gilid ng kama habang nagbabasa, ang kanyang mga titig sa akin tuwing nakahiga ako sa kanyang mga hita habang sabay naming tinitignan ang mga larawan na kinuha niya sa kanyang camera.

It's a very nostalgic feeling, now that the memories are back because the old stuff that we shared feels so strange… a familiar feeling and yet so strange.

“I found a box, baka gusto mong tignan bago namin ibenta ang mga gamit. Mukhang may mga mamahaling gamit diyan. Sigurado kang pati iyun ay gusto mong i-donate?”

Napabaling ako sa box na binaba nito.

“I’ll be downstairs and put some things in the truck.” He smiled at me. Lumapit siya sa akin nung mapansin ang pagtahimik ko. He licked his lower lip and his jaw clenched. “Are you alright?” Hinila niya ako sa kanyang bisig para mayakap ng mahigpit.

“I’m fine. It’s just memories…” mahina kong bulong at napahawak sa kanyang balikat.

“Alam mong hindi mo naman ito kailangan gawin diba?”

“Hindi ko naman gusto na hayaan itong mabulok. Mas mabuti pang ibenta na lang din at pakinabangan…” Some memories can be cherished in our hearts, and material things will remain but longevity has no assurance. Memories also fade… pero yung pakiramdam ay hindi naman mawawala kapag may alaalang bumalik. Some memories will never be forgotten, no matter how much you want to erase them in your head.

“I’ll be downstairs.” He smiled and kissed my lips before he left the room.

Nilingon ko ang box na may kalakihan at napakagat ng labi habang binabasa ang nakasulat doon. Natawa ako at agad nilapitan iyun, hindi ko alam na narito pa pala ito. I got curious and excited to open it again.

“Love Box. Rancel and Cami.” Pinasadahan ko ng haplos ang guhit kamay naming sulat at disenyo. Outside the box was filled with our drawings. May camera roon na sigurado akong guhit ni Rancel. May ginuhit din akong cake at bakeshop. Nanginig ang labi ko ng mabasa sa gilid ang nakasulat. “The best photographer in the country, Rancel… The successful chef in the city, Cami.”

I covered my mouth and broke down in mixed emotions. Napaupo ako sa sahig at hinaplos ang huling mga salita na sinulat namin doon.

“A happy Salaez family with their dream house.” I laughed heartily at our ugly drawing but was dedicated with so much love and dreams. Napapikit ako at napaangat ng tingin sa malaking larawan naming dalawa ni Rancel malapit sa kama, our wedding picture. “We made it, Rance…” I whispered in the air like it could send a message to him through that.

Family… Yeah, we made it.