Ophelia’s Strength (FREE to read!)

Ophelia’s POV “Ophelia, what the f***!” he yells at me with a scary tone in his voice. “What on earth do you actually do all day? I come home and the house is a mess still, you look like a mess still, and this garbage is what you expect me to eat?!” “Sorry, sorry…I will try harder,” I muster quietly. I know it isn’t enough, it is never enough. I don’t bother to attempt to explain that it is physically impossible to do everything he assigns to me each day, clean the house to his standards, look like I’ve had all day to spend on my hair and makeup, and make him a gourmet meal. I’ve learned it is just easier to do what I can, apologize, and take whatever punishment he feels fit. I serve dinner and sit quietly, picking at my plate. I try very hard to avoid making eye contact, knowing it will only gain me a talking to or lecture. If only I could become invisible. After dinner I take my time cleaning up, hoping he will fall asleep on the couch before I am done so I can avoid him as much as possible. I stare out the window as I wash dishes and reminisce, it wasn’t always like this. When I first met John he swept me off of my feet. I was casually dating someone else and he kept telling me that I deserved better. He made it his mission to show me the things in life I deserved and I fell hard for his little show. “Let me take care of you, let me put you through school, I will give you the world,” had been his promise to me. I questioned that things were moving too fast, that I shouldn’t rely on someone so much, but he was always a perfect gentleman and never gave me a reason to doubt him. He lured me into his world where he convinced me to move thousands of kilometres away from my family and few friends, away from school, away from safety. The move was only supposed to be temporary, so he could work for a year at a big paying job and I could enjoy a break. After the year we were supposed to move back and I would resume school and not have to stress about finances. Slowly his attitude towards me changed, I was no longer treated as an equal or partner, but as an object that he owned and bossed around. Everything I did was monitored, he moved us to an isolated house that was in disrepair(far from the castle I had been promised). When I tried to voice that we should find a home closer to amenities and that didn’t need so much work I was told that he needed privacy and I shouldn’t act like a spoiled brat. He sold my car claiming we only needed one since my job was to stay home and keep the house. My phone was monitored, he became paranoid that I was talking to people he wouldn’t want me to talk to. I was made to close my bank accounts and cut up my credit cards, with him saying that having one account would prove my commitment to the relationship. His treatment towards me slowly became hostile. I used to be able to talk to him about anything. If I was excited, he was excited for me. If I had a complaint he made me feel like it was valid. Now if I am excited he tells me I am a stupid girl and small things excite small brains. If I have a complaint it is just better to not voice it, he enjoys an excuse to ‘teach me to be grateful’. One year came and went, I pushed through thinking that maybe things had changed because of this job. Maybe if we could move back things would get better. When I brought up moving back and resuming school I was shot down. “Why would I waste money on you going to school, you are too stupid. Besides you don’t have enough time to cook and clean as it is, how would anything get done?” The second year dragged by slowly. Everyday things got worse. I just couldn’t understand why he even wanted me around if he seemed to hate me so much. I couldn’t understand how things had ended up like this, I felt duped. I felt stuck. How could someone who once made me feel so special now make me feel incompetent? The odd time I was handed my phone and allowed to call my family or friends he was in the room and listened. I couldn’t ask for help. He took my phone away when he couldn’t monitor it and he checked my texts and emails frequently. He had become so paranoid and jealous that if one of the few guy friends I used to have tried to text or call I was forced to tell them to never contact me again. My family had come to visit once and he was a perfect angel in front of them. I was never given the opportunity to be alone with them to ask for help. When my Mom made a comment asking if we liked the house or wanted help finding one that didn’t need so much work he made me say that this was my choice and I had picked it. Behind closed doors he told me that I better never let my family come visit and insult him again. Since then I have been making excuses every time they ask to come visit or beg me to come home to visit. I miss them so much. I finish washing the dishes, drying them, putting them away in the old cupboards. I look over to the couch where he is laying with his belly hanging out, playing video games. He used to be in such good shape, since we moved here he has stopped trying. He now has a belly and a gross long beard that always seems to have good stuck in it. This is not the man I fell for, he has changed in every way possible. “Get me a beer and come sit down,” he looks up at me. I go to the fridge and get him a beer. I open it and fantasize about dumping it down his face, but I know better. Lately my repercussions have become more than just harsh words. “You can be so pretty,” he says. “I wish you would put more effort in for me. Put your hair up and wear some makeup. Wear some lingerie, make me feel like you are proud to be mine. I just wish you would be a good girl and listen to me. You can be so lazy and stupid.” It takes everything I can muster to not cry, yell, or show any reaction to his words. He used to tell me I was pretty all of the time, with or without trying. We used to have an amazing s** life, now I try everything I can think of to avoid him touching me. I wish he would just let me go. I cannot live up to his standards and I no longer wish to try. He finishes his beer. “Come, let’s go to bed,” he says. I reluctantly head to the bathroom and get ready for bed. I take my time hoping he will fall asleep before I get there. I know he will want to have s**. I have been avoiding it all week. I crawl in bed and immediately he puts his hands all over me. “I can’t, I am on my period,” I lie. “What, you just had it!” He grumbles furiously. “Something must be wrong with you…make an appointment with the doctor, this is not fair!” I wiggle away hoping he will leave me alone now. I can hear him breathing in a way that lets me know he is upset. “You look like a disaster today anyways, that doesn’t turn me on. I’m going to go watch some girls who know how to please a man!”. He leaves the room and I breathe a sigh of relief. Good, I think, go watch your videos and leave me be. I close my eyes and hope that he falls asleep in the other room too.