Tom and Betty

I remember the last time I saw him. Patrick, or Rick, my childhood best friend. We went to the same grade school, graduated together until college. He is now an engineer while I am an economics major and still on my way to finding a job. Let’s say it has been a year since we graduated. I confessed my feelings to him right after and realized it was the most terrible thing I ever had. “Let’s find out. Let’s find out if this will work.” Until he suddenly changes. He is no longer the ‘Rick’ I used to know. I also remembered the last time we went to Europe with our batch mates for vacation. One of his jerky friends called some peelers, to you know… heat up the night. The ass of a face, Ricky, was smiling from ear to ear, not considering that I was in the room with him. He must’ve forgotten that his girlfriend was literally listening to their conversation. Taking the cue to leave, I found myself walking on the snowy paved road contemplating whether this relationship could actually work. I guess not. It was after summer when he finally ended it with me. It was so sudden. I wasn’t prepared it would be so soon. I loved him. Hell, I was the happiest when we were still together. Even in the shortest amount of time. All people indeed come up with their preferences as they grow old. And I am never part of his preferences. To make things short, he dumped me. Rick was working in a reputable company downtown, easing his way to a new circle of friends, clubs, night parties and girls. Quite understandable. I wish he would tell me where I went wrong, what I did or whatever happened to him to do this to me. As much as I would like to confront him, I don’t want to see his face again after he bluntly dumped me and said he only sees me as a sister. After what we did? After I gave him everything? It’s like a cold wind knocked him off and I can still remember how his eyebrows scrunched together and it’s like he was brought back to his senses and told me it was just a mistake. He laughed and spat on my face with his hurtful words, “I’m sorry, Betty... I like you and I love you. But only as my best friend. And blah blah blah.” I never got to understand his next words and all I could see how my eyes blurred and knocked someone after I ran away from the jerk. Crying myself to sleep for a couple of nights and bawled my eyes out after realizing I had just messed up our friendship and ruined the bond that we built for years.  That only made me realize it wasn’t my fault at all. Being true to yourself and telling your feelings to someone is not a crime and I am even proud of what I did. In that case, I finally saw his true intentions and his true colors. Rainbow in black and white.