It's Never Too Late

I am not of this world but I am in it, I'm not before you writing a false narrative.n This is my testimony. My journey of life, in which I experienced mentally physically and spiritually Not long ago, I'm on an expectation routine the next day. I changed that expectation that others have of me. Breaking off, like a kit Kat bar to write a whole new narrative. Emotional travel is pulled up like a chariot. I'm boarding this flight without warning or plan destination. I don't go off the rule book that the world was given and passed down. By the generations, before me, I'm quiet not disruptive truth matters more than comfort. I've dismantled my own thinking. I have done the one thing I felt I would not ever achieve in this life. I am not shackled by ego. Most of all, I hear the sweet endless song of the land that I Walk onn This transformation is my rebirth. Everything of me is new joy. Peace and clarity are at the door. So I invite them in to make themselves at home this I not ever thought was possible to feel or have I am freen To now, go back to the very beginning of my past. The place I once was I can tell you about it. For it has no hold on me anymore, nor do I harbor the emotions of that time in my life, born again in birth to a world known as Earth.The year of 1985, all is fast moving quickly.No memories to see clearly, nor keep until 1991.n 6 years old, a small child, innocent, pure playful and curious, and loving this was short, lived and robbed of a childhood, a predator took it while wearing a smile to sexually molest me repeated days and nights. And knowing the truth of what has taken place no understanding but wondering where mom was time froze until she returned home to my siblings, and I, who was the oldest of us all love was embraced with her warm hug, I missed her so much. Safe father, time is on the move. Going at its own paste, calm and steady, not once does he stop nor slow down or speed up t****k tik tok t****k, this is the first time I have ever spoke about this ultimate devastation and event that took place in my life as a child God has taken. Away the pain making me grateful. So I smile, Throughout this life, I will open new doors and rise higher than I expected. Meantime, I will gain and learn or not to use the tools that were given. Like many who died off killing themselves and one another, leaving babies in troubled youth behind, and the ungratefulness that was made who plagued new life and guided with negative fastis and trickery groomed by the wicked to be Drafted and recruited for deeds done dirt, cheap so the fight between good and evil takes place and to evolve, I must learn to adapt and become open to the unknown and unheard of everything can be learned and where there is will, there is always a way all is possible. Dreams do become reality. Happiness is a choice. Love is fearless and limitless. I am new to this life. A better mindset with a big craving for knowledge, I have discovered a life that had been lost and a power far greater than has ever been recorded in the world today as life went on, just like father, time, some of us grew curiosity, and others said in ways like all the ones before them. All of us were giving the same tools, but not all we'll use the tools in the same way which means some of us will destroy ourselves and some will build ourselves today Is here in life is new what has passed no longer is taken with me our memories both good and bad for as long as I can remember. I think of the way I felt whether it was an unfortunate or unexpected and accidental event, the emotion of those things I would feel as though it happened in the present time leaving me. Dis.n Appointed ashamed and angry guilt came over me, holding on to trauma and unable to face the memories and move forward, making my day in my life hard and reckless full of doubt, I blamed everything and everyone, except for myself, for why I misbehaved or why I'm no good and overdosed in unpleasant. Emotions. I viewed myself as a bad person and claimed my days disastrous saying, if I die, I'm going to die and will go to hell because I did not live right. So I thought accepting that I'm a bad person so nothing I do will be good ever rebellious in school, stubborn and wanted to do things my way even though I was given good advice and shown from time to time. In Always.n Refused, and dismissed all later. Learning that things could have been better had. I took the good advice to turn my life into the best. Nothing today is keeping me back nor am I giving up my goal and my dream everything. I need to know is already within me. All that is required of me is to listen to the trust and act in faith. The more I practice listening and practice the quietness and the stillness of solitude. I am granted a key to which unlocks a door one at a time through my intuition. My superpower connection to the divine wisdom tells me my emotions are not meant to overwhelm me or define me. Emotion is a Messenger Point.n In me, toward the direction in need of growth, like a compass, healing and surrender, are the next destinations. In this moment of solitude, I come to see that no matter how intense these emotions are, they are not permanent. There are waves rising and falling shaping the shoreline of my soul. When I allow myself to feel them fully without judgment or avoidance, they lose their power to control me. I also heard this echoed in the Bible in psalms, 35 throughout time, my life changes as do the days and seasons, which come and go a long yet short time ago I was lost without sight. Without sound to hear in a voice to speak blind to my purpose, I wondered why was I here, who am I and where do I go? All these questions , but yet , I stood frozen as a statue in the world , I had been born into a place called called earth that turns on its access father time my dearest friend of days and nights was ticking moving forward effortlessly. Yet humble, he followed me and while witnessing many deaths and births, he is present to this day. Into the circle of life, for nothing ever ends. I function, as I was made to do so with every breath I took and each passing day, I grew from the conception to a fetus to a newborn birth, a toddler, a child 18 and into adulthood. Here in adulthood, I embarked on a journey, unlike I had ever imagined my body on autopilot taken by a plague into the dark abyss of the mine influenced by the way of the world, which has no care for the destruction, it inflicts upon humanity in the past. I indulge in all things. Unhealthy, and I self sabotaged Reckless words used to take place slowly clouding my thought process and influencing my subconscious, which fed me low vibrational negativity, hijacking any and all good energy that my conscience had, I became enraged with shame guilt and sadness and pain that Begun spiraling uncontrollably into a vortex of my own suicide, no mercy for life, its intent to deplete. All the life and energy out of my body until I ran empty and rotted to die. In a dream going in and out of sleep, I recall hearing a voice softly just enough for me to hear It said. If you seek you will find me. Knock, and I shall open the door then I woke up and started my day the back of my mind.I wondered who had spoken to me so kindly nobody was around i kept everything to myself, including the nights that I cried all The Times that I self medicated to numb my pain away, and ease my mind, even for a short moment of peace.n And happiness, in the dark abyss, was a catastrophic vortex of suicide that did not subside for a grew more intense each and every passing day. I became torn and unable to make sense of my life.n I learned to put it to the side and pretend to be happy with a smile. So no one could see what lied underneath my fragile flesh